Monthly Archives: December 2016

PRIMER (2004): CREPE SYUZHET

primerPRIMER (2004) – Yes, I’m just childish enough to pat myself on the back for that play on words in the title of this blog post. With that out of the way I know I’m late to the game when it comes to Primer but my own skepticism about it made me keep it on the back burner in terms of priority movies to watch.

Since New Year’s Eve into the New Year is the closest any of us ever get to time travel I figured today was the perfect time to finally review this controversial film. Primer was made for just $7,000 (really) by Shane Carruth, who starred, wrote, directed, edited, arranged the music and pretty much did everything but wash the cars of his collaborators.

The film’s 2:1 film ratio has become legendary and decisively proved the benefits of having your cast repeatedly rehearse scenes before letting the cameras roll. Film stock ain’t cheap and anything an independent producer can do to save on it is pure gold.

primer-2Shane Carruth stars as Aaron and David Sullivan portrays Abe. The pair are engineers who – on the side – run a tech business out of Aaron’s garage. As a side effect of a project they are working on the two discover a means of time travel.

Don’t roll your eyes and assume that Primer is just another use of this well-worn concept. I made that mistake and put off watching this excellent and thought-provoking movie for far too long.

You can ignore reviews which claim the opening half of this 77 minute film is boring. Literally even the most casual exchanges of dialogue have bearing on the overall story. It’s not really a spoiler at this late date to point out that the very beginning of the film is NOT the “first run” of the events in the storyline, as a viewer discovers later. Continue reading

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BAD MOVIES 4 NEW YEAR’S EVE

Here at Balladeer’s Blog I’m very fond of cinematic turkeys that have seasonal tie-ins. In that spirit here’s a look at bad movies with a New Year’s Eve theme. As usual, full-length reviews of these films can be found on my Bad Movie page.

AKA Time Warp

AKA Time Warp

BLOODY NEW YEAR (1987) – Also released under the title Time Warp but it’s grisly enough for the more explicit title. A handful of British boaters who are fleeing a family of soccer hooligans (no, really) wind up on an island with a deserted hotel that’s been decorated for a New Year’s Eve party since the 1950s.

This Norman J Warren film stars nobody and borrows heavily from Sam Raimi’s original Evil Dead in terms of its imitation “Deadites” and its POV tracking shots. It also features a killer who emerges from a movie being watched, a monster who climbs out of a tablecloth, homicidal kitchen utensils, indoor snowfall, laughing shrubbery and living walls. All the chaos is being caused by hapless souls who have been trapped in limbo for decades and will do anything to get out or to drag others into their hellish undead existence with them.

Bloody New Year is a neglected bad movie classic that has all the Continue reading

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MUSLIM ATROCITY ROUNDUP: DECEMBER 30th

obama-not-jump-to-conclusionsHere are just a FEW of the latest blood-soaked actions committed by fanatics from the homophobic, xenophobic and misogynistic religion which continues to retard the rest of the world’s social progress.

December 9th: Madagali, Nigeria – Muslim fascists used two children as human bombs to kill FIFTY-SEVEN innocent people and injure ONE HUNDRED SEVENTY-SEVEN more.  

December 18th: Aden, Yemen – Islamists bombed and killed FIFTY-TWO innocent people and injured over SIXTY more. Remember, Obama is so delusional he STILL calls Yemen a “success” of his administration.

December 10th: Aden, Yemen – MORE Obama-style success as an Islamofascist suicide bombing killed FORTY-EIGHT innocent people and injured THIRTY-ONE more. 

obamas-legacy-map

… … Obamastan

December 11th: Mogadishu, Somalia – Muslim fascists used a suicide bombing to kill TWENTY-NINE innocent people and injure FORTY-EIGHT more.

December 11th: Cairo, Egypt – Islamists bombed a Christian church, killing TWENTY-SEVEN innocent people and injuring FORTY-NINE more. Coexistence! 

December 14th: Gadani, Nigeria – Members of Fulani, the local franchise of the Global Muslim Fascist Murder Machine, attacked and killed 15 innocent people and injured over 40 more.

December 19th: Berlin, Germany – A Muslim “asylum seeker” used a stolen truck in an attack which killed 13 innocent people and injured 48 more. Continue reading

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THE GREEN HUNTSMAN: CHRISTMAS HORROR FOLKLORE

green-flamesTHE GREEN HUNTSMAN – The Green Huntsman is an interesting example of the many figures who started out as folklore before being committed to the printed page in horror stories.

Long before the short stories featuring the Green Huntsman began to appear around the 1830s the figure was already being conflated with the Wicked Huntsman of Basque folk tales. Joseph Holt Ingraham’s 1841 story titled simply The Green Huntsman is arguably the best known of the short stories.

The figure eventually known as the Green Huntsman has its origins centuries ago. Originally a mortal man, this huntsman was a Castilian nobleman who had a perfect body but a very ugly face. As the tale was inevitably embellished it got to the point where the man freakishly had just one large green eye above the nose of his otherwise handsome face. 

green-flames-2The nobleman was obsessed with tracking down and marrying a mythical woman called the Christmas Bride who could only be found on Christmas Eve. This woman was incredibly beautiful but blind. The Green Huntsman wanted her as his bride not only because she would not be able to see how hideous he was, but, more importantly, she was destined to give birth to a son who would become the New Charlemagne, who would unite all Europe under one ruler. 

Clad in his all-green hunting outfit the Green Huntsman would ride forth every Christmas Eve accompanied by his hunting dogs. One year the whip he used to urge his horse onward contained a hair from the head of the Virgin Mary herself. (Remember, there was a lucrative business long ago in selling fake relics like pieces of wood from the “true” cross, plus the bones or other items from various saints.)

That hair from Christian mythology’s Blessed Mother supposedly would act as a divining rod, and the bristles on the whip would point the way to the Christmas Bride. The Green Huntsman had paid an enormous amount of money to the Pope himself to obtain the hair. Continue reading

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COLLEGE BASKETBALL RANKINGS FROM BALLADEER’S BLOG

LSU-Alexandria GeneralsNAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics) Division One

1. LSU-ALEXANDRIA GENERALS    ###    2. BIOLA UNIVERSITY EAGLES    ###    3. WILLIAM PENN UNIVERSITY STATESMEN    ###    4. WILLIAM CAREY UNIVERSITY CRUSADERS    ###    5. OKLAHOMA CITY UNIVERSITY STARS    ###    

Westmont College Warriors6. WESTMONT COLLEGE WARRIORS   ###    7. HOPE INTERNATIONAL UNIVERSITY ROYALS   ###    8. TALLADEGA COLLEGE TORNADOES   ###    9. ARIZONA CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY FIRESTORM   ###    10. XAVIER UNIVERSITY (LA) GOLD RUSH    ###     Continue reading

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THE HILLARY CLINTON EXCUSE CALENDAR FOR 2017

hillary-clinton-excusesCareer criminal Hillary Clinton continues to blame everyone but herself for her humiliating loss to Donald Trump this year. One of the hot-selling items headed into the New Year is a calendar on which each day features one of the Hillarytron’s whiny, self-serving excuses.

You’ll get three hundred sixty-five gems like:

THE RUSSIANS FORCED HILLARY TO RUN A FAKE CHARITY, ACCEPT BRIBES AND MISHANDLE CLASSIFIED INFORMATION!

THE VOTES OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS SHOULD BE THE ONLY VOTES THAT COUNT!

MALE VOTERS FELT THREATENED BY A WOMAN LIKE HILLARY WHO LIVES OFF THE ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF HER HUSBAND!

HILLARY’S SHRILL VOICE WAS SO HIGH-PITCHED ONLY DOGS COULD HEAR HER LIES AND PROMISES.

map

… … RED – Trump, Blue – Hillary

ISOLATED, HEAVILY POPULATED POCKETS OF POMPOUS SNOBS AND BLOATED RICH PIGS SHOULD GET TO DICTATE HOW THE REST OF THE COUNTRY LIVES!

BLACK VOTERS FORGOT WE DEMOCRATS OWN THEM LIKE WE DID ON OUR PLANTATIONS!

OBAMA TOLD HILLARY IT WAS A GOOD STRATEGY TO CALL MOST OF THE COUNTRY “A BASKET OF DEPLORABLES.”

AMERICANS ARE BIASED AGAINST CAREER CRIMINALS LIKE HILLARY!

UPPITY ORANGE PEOPLE LIKE TRUMP LOVE TO PLAY IDENTITY POLITICS! Continue reading

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TEHAINGA’ATUA: A GOD OF BELLONA & RENNELL ISLANDS

FOR BALLADEER’S BLOG’S FULL LIST OF GODS FROM BELLONA AND RENNELL ISLANDS CLICK HERE 

bellona-and-rennel-5TEHAINGA’ATUA – The Chief of the sky gods in Bellona and Rennell (Bel-Ren) mythology. Tehainga’atua ruled the stars, which Bel-Ren astrologers read to determine when (they believed) the sky-god would command particular stars to unleash dangerous seas, rain and thunder storms plus hurricanes. Earthquakes would be unleashed on the two islands by Mahuike, another of Tehainga’atua’s subordinate deities.

Because this deity could dispense or withhold life-giving rains he was often appealed to in rituals. Like Kane/Tane in other Polynesian Islands, Tehainga’atua ruled over wild plant life. Gnetum costatum plants were considered to be “the hair of Tehainga’atua.” 

Tehainga’atua’s parents were the goddess N’guatupu’a and the god Tepoutu’uingangi. In some traditions they are his grandparents instead. His wife (and sister) was the goddess Sikingimoemoe. His children included the god Tehu’aingabenga and other district or clan deities. Some traditions hold that those gods are instead his grandchildren. Continue reading

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