Monthly Archives: September 2010


Here are tonight’s games in the divisions Balladeer’s Blog covers.


Kentucky Christian Knights 12 @ GEORGETOWN (KY) TIGERS 52

Southern Virginia Knights  23 @ BRIDGEWATER EAGLES 32 (NAIA @ D3) 


(1) WHITEWATER WARWAWKS 49 @ Continue reading


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Location: Newport News, VA 

Division: NCAA Division 3 


Comment: It’s the return of the Coolest Helmet feature! NNAS has one of the most eye-catching helmets in D3. In fact when they wear their maroon jerseys and the gold pants their entire uniform looks 1A-caliber! The Builders’ motto is “We build great ships: Craftmanship … Scholarship … Leadership” If you’re wondering why, if they build great ships, they’re not called the Shipbuilders instead, well, just say it out loud a few times and you’ll see the potential minefield they’re avoiding.  

For the NCAA Division 3′s Coolest-Named Teams click here:     

 For the NAIA edition of The 20 Coolest College Sports Teams You May Never Have Heard Of click here:  For The 20 Coolest College Sports Logos click here: 

 For The 20 Coolest Football Helmets In NCAA Division 3 click here:   

 For the 20 Coolest-Named Sports Teams In NCAA Division 2 click here: 

 Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or the NCAA or any of their member institutions.  

 © Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. 



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(Courtesy University of Science and Arts of Oklahoma Sports Information. The parenthetical comments are mine alone.)

CHICKASHA – Not just one, but two USAO Drovers stood out among conference opponents as playing exceptional soccer last week — and became Sooner Athletic Conference Players of the Week.

Both Calli (“DB“) Cooper and Nikola Cakarevic (One half of Drover soccer’s “NC Hammer” duo along with Niall Crick, as readers of this blog will recall) were honored with Offensive Player of the Week. (Balladeer’s note: When Nikola scores a goal the Drover fans should chant Niiiiiiiiiiiiikolaaaaaaaaaa like in those old Ricola ads)

Calli Cooper, a sophomore from Norman, shined with back-to-back hat tricks (and hat-to-hat back tricks – rimshot) and four assists in the two games the Drovers played last week, first against the Bethel College Threshers and then the Tabor College Bluejays a few days later.

“Calli I feel is just starting to play to her potential this season,” Hampton said.

Cooper is by far the team’s leading scorer this season. She’s made more than 50 percent of her shots on goal so far in 2010, and she is eighth in the division in goals per game (1.5) and in points per game (3.83). Additionally, she’s 10th in total points with 23. She’s also ranked in the top 30 in seven other categories. (And the Top 7 in 30 other categories)

This season, Cooper has scored nine goals and had five assists.

With seven goals in two games, Cakarevic was crucial in the Drovers’ wins this week. In addition to tying his own school record with five goals in a game against Tabor College on Friday, (Five goals being more than some teams have scored so far this season) Cakarevic scored two of USAO’s three goals against Bethel College days before. He scored the team’s game-winning goal against Bethel. (Any odds on how long it will be before he marries a Spice Girl?)

He has scored 11 goals already for USAO and is third in the division in goals per game (1.67) and points per game (3.5). He’s also seventh in total goals (10) and ranked in the top 30 in four other categories. (And the Top 4 in 30 other- oh, sorry, I used that joke already)

“Nikola had a great week,” Hampton said. “He is an exceptional player, and we look forward to him continuing his success in SAC play.” (Don’t go there!)

The Drover men are undefeated (6-0) and ranked No. 10 in the country going into Tuesday’s game against conference rivals the Oklahoma City University  Stars . The women are 4-1-1 overall.

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As we rapidly approach the end of September let’s take a look at the Top 3 teams in the polls.



1. SIOUX FALLS COUGARS – (4-0)  As they prepare to leave the NAIA the Cougars are hoping to go out in style – as Threepeat Champions in football. All eyes are on the Cougars and sports historians are waiting to see how this season ends.  

2. CARROLL (MT) FIGHTING SAINTS – (4-0) The Halos move up to the # 2 spot vacated by the Lindenwood Lions, who were upset by the MNU Pioneers. Having beaten their arch-rivals the Montana Tech Orediggers for the move up must be especially sweet. 

3. SAINT XAVIER COUGARS – (5-0) Fun fact: In all sports in the NAIA approximately 19 teams in the Top 25 are called the Cougars! (I’m kidding!) SXU has reached the 3-spot for the 1st time since 2007 led by the superheroics of QB Anthony “Crop-Man” Kropp and WR Mike “M Squared” Maher who leads ALL divisions in scoring by the way! Want to see how famous these 2 have become? Google Anthony “Crop-Man” Kropp, and then Mike “M Squared” Maher!


1. UW-WHITEWATER WARHAWKS – (3-0) In D3 football our Top 2 teams have been sharing the National Championship for the past 5 years in a row. Yes, since 2005 the D3 title game has been played between the Warhawks and our # 2 team. Some love that fact, some hate it and others just say if the other teams don’t like it they can rise up and beat 1 of them in the playoffs. 

2. MT UNION PURPLE RAIDERS – (3-0) Even before the Purple Raiders and the Warhawks started monopolizing the D3 Championship the Purple Raiders were an established dynasty and were practically a fixture in the title matchup. Will it be 6 in a row between our Top 2 teams? Stay tuned! 

3. WESLEY WOLVERINES – (4-0) Watch out for these Wolverines (Team slogan: “100% Rich Rodriguez-Free!”) who have got to be sick of playing 3rd fiddle to the Warhawks and Purple Raiders. Wesley will be “sneaking around the chicken coop” as Lee Corso says and are many people’s pick to upset our Top 2 if anyone can. 


1. MN-DULUTH BULLDOGS – (4-0) UMD won the 2008 D2 National Championship and are itching to wear the crown again. With the Grand Valley State Lakers out of the top spot the Bulldogs are riding high at least until the playoffs roll around. That’s right, fans of 1A football. In the divisions covered by Balladeer’s Blog they settle it on the field!

2. GVSU LAKERS – (4-0) Speak of the devils! Even before their Brian Kelly days the Lakers were perennial contenders in D2, piling up a slew of Championships. They’re likely to use their recent fall from the top spot as motivation to win big the rest of the way rather than simply fume over it.

3. NORTH ALABAMA LIONS – (4-0) They’ve had THE Terry Bowden coaching them for the last few years, they’ve got the coolest helmets out of the Top 3 teams in D2 and they play in the Gulf South Conference, which is often called “The SEC of D2 football”. Well, at least until the Arkansas teams bolt the conference after the end of this season.   



1. FRESNO PACIFIC SUNBIRDS – (14-0) It’s not true that the Sunbirds haven’t lost a match since the Eisenhower Administration, it just seems that way. (It was really during Reagan’s 2nd term) These ladies are trying for 4 National Championships in a row! Will they make it? Will they actually LOSE a game at some point? Keep checking back to find out! 

2. LEE FLAMES – (14-0) The Flames move up from the 3-spot last week. You almost wish the playoffs would start this week so that the Sunbirds and the Flames could meet each other with no losses, winner take all. You can bet the Flames will try to be the closest thing to a rival that Fresno Pacific has yet had!

3. BIOLA EAGLES – (12-4) The Eagles flew all the way up from #9 leapfrogging still-undefeated teams like the Red Raiders and the Scorpions. Like our #1 team Biola plays in the Golden State Athletic Conference, for my money the toughest volleyball conference in the NAIA. How tough? So tough that Biola is 4th in the conference race, yet 3rd in the national rankings!

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 The Cumberlands Patriots started Mid-South Conference play Saturday with a 35-33 win over the Bethel (TN) Wildcats in an Instant Classic. The Patriots are now 2-2 overall after holding on late to notch this win. Sophomore star Terrance “The Bad TC” Cobb led the team’s rushing attack with 114 yds on 21 attempts plus 1 TD catch. QB “Jammin'” Jay Bright was 6 of 12 with 3 TD’s. On the other side of the ball the Patriots were led by “Dr Defense” himself, Brendan Kelly, who had 20 tackles, an interception and 2 pass breakups, 1 of which sealed the win for UC. Next Saturday the Pats face The Battle For The Brass Lantern against their rivals the Union Bulldogs. 

  The Lincoln Memorial University Lady Railsplitters volleyball team came back from being down 2-1 to pull out a 3-2 win over the Newberry College Wolves. The ladies won by scores of 22-25, 25-15, 23-25, 29-27 and 16-14. With this win the Railsplitters are now 8-2 overall and 4-2 in the South Atlantic Conference. Tomorrow LMU will take on the Tusculum Pioneers with the opening serve scheduled for 6:30PM.

 Reigning NAIA football champs the Sioux Falls Cougars continued their quest to threepeat as National Champions with a handy 34-10 win over the Hastings Broncos. QB Jon “Jonny East” Eastman gave Broncos defenders fits with his arms and his legs (and his pancreas had them frothing at the mouth with rage) picking up 386 yds through the air and 39 more on the ground. The high point of the game for Hastings, the home team, may have come when a team of skydivers (Insert your own Coleman Francis joke here. Fans of bad movies will get it) delivered the game balls in spectacular fashion prior to kickoff.

 The Indiana University Southeast Grenadiers’ volleyball team continues their monumental turnaround this season. At one point sporting a glum record of 1-7 the ladies have won 9 in a row to become 10-7 on the year! Balladeer’s Blog has been following this story since the ladies were still below .500 and this may well be the feel-good story of the fall! This past weekend the Grenadiers defeated the Mountain State Cougars and the Cincinnati Christian Eagles. Jade “Killbot” Troutman led IUS with 11 kills and Lindsey “Aces Wild” Maymon had a match-high 4 service aces against the Cougars. Against the Eagles “Judex” Julie Roeder provided crucial kills to keep the Grens in the game until a big block by PJ “PJ” Cockerell put them up for good. Someone get a movie studio ready for a project about these ladies!

 The Johns Hopkins Blue Jays football team crushed the Moravian Greyhounds 41-3 on Saturday. QB “Hurlin'” Hewitt Tomlin went 18 of 33 for 219 yds and 2 TD’s through the air and on the ground led the Blue Jays with 65 yds. 53 of those yds came on a career-long run for Tomlin following a fake in the 2nd quarter. Tomlin has been named the Centennial Conference Offensive Player Of The Week for his performance.  The Blue Jays are now 2-1 for the 3-game road series to open the 2010 season.

 Two women on the Alverno Inferno volleyball team were named to the Moody Bible Institute All-Tournament Team after the Inferno’s participation in the event this weekend. Chelsea Gulbronson and Morgan Stuckey were the two players named to the All-Tournament Team. Over the course of the 3 matches Gulbronson had 12 kills, 6 service aces and 2 solo blocks. while Stuckey had a team-leading 29 kills, 6 aces and 4 digs.


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 Location: Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

Division: NAIA

Conference Affiliation: Canada West Universities Athletic Association

Major sports: football, basketball, ice hockey, soccer, volleyball


Comment: Many people don’t realize some Canadian schools play various college sports in America’s lower divisions. I don’t know anybody who doesn’t like pandas unless they were traumatized by the long national nightmare we had trying to get the National Zoo’s panda bears to mate. The men’s teams at Alberta go by the name Golden Bears but since so many teams are called Golden Bears I’m going with the much cooler name the women’s teams use.    

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or the NCAA or any of their member institutions. 

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


Filed under Cool names and cool logos


“Win One For Ransburg” – The NAIA’s 6th-ranked MNU Pioneers upset the #2 Lindenwood Lions 26-20. Winning QB Sean Ransburg wrote himself into the pages of college football lore with a well-placed remark toward the end of the game. Clinging to their 6-point lead the Pioneers needed to burn up the remaining 2:37 on the game clock. Picking up 2 first downs would do the trick and as Ransburg reported this moment with his teammates, “I looked into their eyes and told them to tell me how bad they wanted this.”  I held a seance to find out how the late Howard Cosell would have described what Ransburg did next and he said “With his troops thus inspired, this latter-day Napoleon of the gridiron turned Pioneer Stadium into his own version of the battlefied of Marengo. A 26-yard completion to tight end Juan Redmon on 3rd and 8 from the Lindenwood  43  gave the battle-hardened MNU team a 1st down and with it the tactical high ground to ensure a victory.” Maybe I should have conjured up someone a little more contemporary instead.

Top 25 Upsets – In NCAA Division 3 the 9th-ranked Coe Kohawks upset the #7 Central Dutch 37-28; in Division 2 action #13, the West Liberty Hilltoppers fell at home to Continue reading


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 My sister Rosemary’s dog Bogie is a passionate Redskins fan. He’s also an expert on various college  sports and has been following them for all 10 years of his life so far. Balladeer’s Blog is proud to have him as our very first Special Guest Commentator. ******The following comments are strictly Bogie’s opinions and do not necessarily reflect the views of Balladeer’s Blog.  

 Bogie: The Indiana University Southeast Grenadiers volleyball team has won their 6th game in a row, extending their effort to turn this season around. The ladies are now 7-7 after defeating the Spalding Golden Eagles in straight sets 25-20, 25-21 and 25-12. My Mom and my Uncle (the guy who writes this blog) and I are big Marx Brothers fans and we can’t believe the Spalding teams aren’t called the Captains! Anyway, the Grenadiers try to go over 500 for the 1st time this season when they host the Fighting Engineers of Rose Hulman today!

 Bogie: The Lewis-Clark State Warriors men’s cross-country team has moved up 1 notch to #19 in the latest Top 25 poll. Ironically the women’s team is at #19 in their poll as well, but that represented a drop of 3 spots. The Warriors teams will next see action tomorrow in the Eric Anderson Memorial Invite, to be run at Plante’s Ferry Park in Spokane, WA.  I’d like to give a shoutout to Spokane’s Gonzaga teams which are doggies like me but my Uncle says I can’t. I’ll just wish Coach Mike Collins and the teams good luck then.

 Bogie: The Albany State Golden Rams football team, fresh off their upset of Tuskegee last Saturday, prepare to face old rivals the Savannah State Tigers in the “Rumble In The Swamp” tomorrow. This will be the 60th meeting between the 2 HBCU’s (Historically Black Colleges and Universities). The Golden Rams lead the series by a record of 41-16-2 and come into this Saturday’s action riding a 13-game winning streak against Savanna State. Kickoff is set for 2pm at Waycross Memorial Stadium. Since Tigers are a kind of cat I’ll be rooting for the Golden Rams to beat them since we dogs hate cats!

 Bogie: The University of Science and Arts Of Oklahoma Drovers (Drovers are a cooler version of a cowboy) men’s soccer team remained at #10 in the NAIA Top 25,  coming off a rest week. Tuesday night the Drovers defeated the Bethel (KS) Threshers and will next face the Tabor College Bluejays today, on Drover Pitch. The Drover women’s soccer team has gotten some votes but still hasn’t cracked the women’s Top 25 just yet.

  Bogie: Tomorrow, when the Cumberlands Patriots face the Bethel (TN) Wildcats on the gridiron, Head Coach John Bland will wear a Coach T Cure Muscular Dystrophy patch, like many coaches nationwide, as part of a promotion to raise money for MD research. For live audio of the game click here:   In a  related Patriots football story, you can read about their legendary  player Madison McCalmon by clicking here:

Now it’s off to collect my fee of a doggie treat for filling in for my Uncle!


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There are just 2 games tonight in the divisions I cover. Both are NCAA Division 2 and both kick off at 7PM Eastern Time.

NEW HAVEN CHARGERS 28 @ Bentley Falcons 23

MERRIMACK WARRIORS 42 @ Stonehill Skyhawks 39 

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Hey, maybe you woudn’t start this guy at quarterback, but that just proves you don’t have the attitude it takes to win! The National Felon League’s Eagletown Dogfighters threw their former starting quarterback aside following an injury and have decided that they will start  Charles Manson instead. Following his release from prison last year Manson has been serving in a backup capacity for the Dogfighters, who traded their former starter, a man who led them to multiple conference championship games, because they were outraged by the fact that he “Never did anything to embarrass our organization! In the NFL that shows a lack of leadership”  to quote the team’s owner. The team had planned on starting their “quarterback of the future” Dennis Dobey, but after a poor half in his first game of the year, in which he suffered a concussion, Dobey was out and Manson finished the game, a loss as it turned out. According to the jock-sniffing mainstream sports media, Manson “Electrified the crowd!”  In his post-game interview Charlie showed his disdain for Dobey by saying “I think we would have had a better chance to win if I had played the whole game. I am the “I” in team…You don’t see no I in team? You don’t know me! Who are you? There’s no “u” in team, I know that fer darn shore! You judge me? I’m not no judge either. You can drink “tea” so there must be a “tea” in team…” and other such gibberish on and on in that inimitable Manson fashion.

Following his performance the following week in the team’s 1st win of the season, Manson was named the starter despite previous comments from the coaching staff that the starting job still belonged to Dobey.  A confidential source in the team’s organization explained the thought process that led to the reversal:

“Frankly, we were all concerned at Dobey’s lack of an arrest record. We need a quarterback our guys can look to for leadership on the field, not someone who’s too timid to even get arrested or sued for his treatment of women. The last thing we want is a divided locker room.”  

The blase attitude of the team’s front office was typical of sports “journalists” whose news coverage has basically become “People Magazine For Athletes“, only even less hard-hitting than People.  Here’s some samplings:

Kirk and Kirk In The Evening: Kirk One: “While I don’t approve of everything in Manson’s past there’s no denying the way that team really plays to its potential when he’s at the controls. Yes, I understand that being out on probation means he still hasn’t fully served his time but I would get down on my knees and kiss Charlie’s tuches if I thought it would get him to come play for my Jets! What a dynamic play-maker!”       Kirk Two: “Boy, I’m tellin’ ya! What a player! He comes to play! He gives his all! If you want to see on your football field and your team a guy who shows up and plays, then this player is the player for you! I wish I had him on my fantasy team!”  

Nonny Korntassel: “I love stars, so I love seeing this guy on the field. My heart is in my throat every time I see him scrambling when his O-line caves in! I tremble with glee every time I see him in motion! I know he’s not perfect but it’s time to let him move on and put all that unpleasantness behoind (sic) him. Now let’s talk Dancing With The Stars!…”  

Jack Striker: “This guy gives you the best chance to win now! That’s all that matters! I don’t care if a convicted child molester is your quarterback, if he’s got the hot hand then he’s your starter! Nobody’s forcing his victims to watch the game! I’m sick of these whiners still going on and on about what Manson did but I bet most people don’t even remember why he went to jail in the first place! People are just jealous of the money he’s making.” 

Yes, in all other walks of life actions like the ones Manson was involved in would have co-workers regarding him with equal parts loathing and distrust for years, but in the NFL they’re considered a boon! Don’t think of them as arrest records, NFL players,  think of them as additions to your resume! If Dennis Dobey wants his starting position back, well, there’s plenty of time before the end of the season for him to drive his car into someone, or get arrested on drug or weapons charges or a domestic violence incident or at the very least get a DUI to show that he has the “Can do!” attitude the NFL looks for in its players!

I’ll close with this exchange I had with another team source who wished to remain anonymous:

“Who would you rather have coaching your team? A guy coming off an 8-8 season or Adolf Hitler?”

“Hitler. That whole Jewish thing was unfortunate but boy that guy could energize your locker room!”  

Disclaimer: Obviously this is all fictional and not one word of the preceding post is true.

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or the NCAA or any of their member institutions. 

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


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