Category Archives: humor

MOTHER JONES: PRESIDENT TRUMP IS MANY HEROES IN ONE

mother-jonesMary Harris Jones, the legendary labor organizer from the 1890s onward, also known as “the Miner’s Angel” and “Mother Jones,” spoke to Balladeer’s Blog yet again, despite being dead since 1930. I wondered if she wanted to discuss the “Social Justice” being meted out on demagogues like Al Franken and John Conyers. It turned out she had other things on her mind.

BALLADEER’S BLOG: Well, hello again! I always enjoy our talks.  

MOTHER JONES: I’m glad to hear it, sonny! I continue to be very impressed with the way President Trump – the new FDR and the new Harry Truman – continues to scrap with the same kind of plutocratic oppressors I always fought.

Trump is SerpicoBB: I admit the stench from Washington, DC is amazing. “Draining the Swamp” as Trump calls it, is demonstrating the depth of corruption and outright criminal activity the Democrats and Republicans are responsible for. It took a de facto Third Party President like Trump to take the first necessary steps.

MJ: You know it, young man! No Democrat or Republican would have rocked the boat like this! I think President Trump is like many heroes in one.

BB: Well, I think “hero” might be too strong a word for Trump, but –

MJ: Yes, yes, I know I’m more enthusiastic about him than you are, but I want you to just listen for awhile.

BB: Okay.

Franklin RooseveltMJ: First off, President Trump is like Franklin Delano Roosevelt. FDR was looking out for the working class and the poor, so rich fat cat scum tried to destroy him like they’re doing with Donald Trump. They even tried the VERIFIED Businessman’s Coup plot against FDR.

Right now the way that rich pigs like Tom Steyer are trying to overturn an election they lost is disgusting and is a threat to all elections of the future. If fat cats like Steyer or the Koch Brothers don’t like the way the votes went, they’ll pull a “soft coup” as it’s called.

SECOND, President Trump is like Harry S Truman. Harry gave ’em Hell every chance he could and weak-kneed sissy boys like today’s Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell clutched their pearls and reached for the smelling salts. Trump shocks more Republican and Democrat trash in one week than good old Harry did in his entire presidency!  

BrubakerTHIRD, President Trump is like that Robert Redford fella when he played Brubaker! Like Trump, Brubaker was trying to clean out a virtual sewer of corrupt officialdom. Even if the scumbags fighting Trump oust him, it will be like the ending of Brubaker, when the prisoners – or American citizens in Trump’s case – gathered around to pay him respect.

The prisoners giving the departing Brubaker a slow clap of good bye was an acknowledgement that the man had tried to help them and to fight the crooked politicians and rich pigs abusing them. President Trump’s end might be like that if the Establishment criminals succeed in driving him from office.

BB: That’s a very profound comparison. Even if – like Brubaker – President Trump’s bottom line accomplishment is to raise awareness in all of us about the NEED to fight the white collar criminals who have hijacked our political system, there is a certain dignity in that. A dignity that people like Hillary Clinton and Paul Ryan could never understand.  

MJ: Good lad, Balladeer, but I have plenty more heroes to compare with President Trump, so pipe down.  Continue reading

Advertisements

2 Comments

Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, opinion

TOM STEYER DENIES BEING COMPOSED PURELY OF BODY LICE

Tom SteyerThe question puzzling the internet of late has been: Is one percenter and bloated rich pig Tom Steyer a colony creature composed of nothing but body lice? Recently a non-existent reporter for Balladeer’s Blog asked the allegedly heartless capitalist a direct question about this matter and Steyer denied it.

When faced with the follow-up question “Do you pass body lice on to those in your immediate vicinity” the parasitic oppressor of the workers replied that he had to run because it was time for a meeting with crooked members of Congress. However, Steyer STILL refuses to donate more money to charity.

Hopefully this closes the chapter on this bizarre conspiracy theory about Steyer being a colony creature composed purely of body lice. Sure it would be less disgusting than being a bloated rich pig but, as the saying goes … Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, opinion

ZOMBIES OF MONTICELLO (2013)

Thomas JeffersonBy reader request here’s my semi-regular Halloween Season blog post Zombies of Monticello, my mock movie review. I first ran this in 2013, but it may not seem as irreverent this year in the wake of the large-scale criticism of Thomas Jefferson.

ZOMBIES OF MONTICELLO (2013) – Halloween month continues at Balladeer’s Blog with this review of cult director Eddie Wozniak’s blood-soaked combination of horror and commentary.

Learn the REAL cause of Thomas Jefferson’s death on July 4th, 1826! On the 50th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence the zombified corpses of all of Jefferson’s dead slaves rise from their graves and besiege him and his extended family in the Jefferson mansion at Monticello!

The pompous hypocrite who penned noble words about freedom and equality while OWNING other human beings tries everything to wipe out the undead legions pressing in on all sides. Continue reading

2 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies, Fantastic Movie Reviews, Halloween Season, humor

MOCK HEADLINES: OCTOBER 3rd

Free speech 6CAL-BERKELEY ANNOUNCES NEW POST-GRADUATE COURSE IN BOOK-BURNING

CNN ANNOUNCES THAT PRESIDENT TRUMP CANNOT BE RULED OUT AS A SUSPECT IN THE LAS VEGAS SHOOTING

BRAIN-DEAD PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES NOW CLAIM THEY’RE PROTESTING UNTIL WOMEN ARE GIVEN THE RIGHT TO VOTE

… OR BECAUSE THEY WANT TO END PROHIBITION, OR SOMETHING

DEMOCRATS INSIST DR SEUSS BOOKS ARE RACIST WHEN FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP DONATES THEM TO LIBRARIES BUT NOT WHEN MICHELLE OBAMA READS THEM ALOUD TO SCHOOL CHILDREN  

NFL PLAYERS FORM NEW ORGANIZATION CALLED R.A.W.B.A.T. – “RAPISTS AND WOMAN-BEATERS AGAINST TRUMP”

Hillary 2020HILLARY CLINTON ACCUSES PRESIDENT TRUMP OF COLLUDING WITH HIS VOTERS TO KICK HER SORRY ASS IN THE 2016 ELECTION 

DEMOCRATS DEMAND INVESTIGATION INTO TRUMP’S ROLE IN RUSSIA SELLING ALASKA TO AMERICA

THE POPE, DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION, PROCLAIMS THAT ISLAM IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF CATHOLICISM

ROGER GOODELL CLAIMS THAT ALL THE RAPES AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE COMMITTED BY NFL ATHLETES WERE DONE AS POLITICAL PROTESTS

NEWS READERS WHO CAN’T LOCATE PUERTO RICO ON A MAP FEIGN OUTRAGE OVER … WELL, THEY’RE NOT SURE WHAT, BUT THEY INSIST IT’S PRESIDENT TRUMP’S FAULT

Continue reading

2 Comments

Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, opinion

HILLARY “BUGSY” CLINTON BITTERLY FLAILS AT EVERYONE AND CALLS BERNIE SANDERS VOTERS “SEXIST”

Hillary Clinton tourWhite Supremacist Hillary Clinton, the pant-suited Richard Nixon on steroids, continued spouting the pompous Democrat attitude that groups they claim to “own” owe them slavish and unquestioning loyalty. Hillary said she will not offer “absolution” to women who did not vote for her.

Apparently, Delusional Hillary mistakenly thinks there are untold numbers of women who regret not voting for her. Yes, there are untold numbers of women who bitterly spout non-stop hatred for OTHER WOMEN who did not vote for Hillary, but there is NO indication that anyone wise enough to vote for the other candidates feels any sense of regret.

Hillary Clinton supportersIf anything, our de facto Third Party President Donald Trump has – merely by winning – forced the Democrats (DemCorp) and Republicans (RepubCorp) to show their real faces.

But since Crooked Hillary is still gnashing her teeth in impotent outrage here’s another look at my fictional HILLARY CLINTON EXCUSE CALENDAR. You’ll get three hundred sixty-five gems like:

THE RUSSIANS FORCED HILLARY TO RUN A FAKE CHARITY, ACCEPT BRIBES AND MISHANDLE CLASSIFIED INFORMATION!

THE VOTES OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS SHOULD BE THE ONLY VOTES THAT COUNT!

MALE VOTERS FELT THREATENED BY A WOMAN LIKE HILLARY WHO LIVES OFF THE ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF HER HUSBAND!

HILLARY’S SHRILL VOICE WAS SO HIGH-PITCHED ONLY DOGS COULD HEAR HER LIES AND PROMISES.

map
… … RED – Trump, Blue – Hillary

ISOLATED, HEAVILY POPULATED POCKETS OF POMPOUS SNOBS AND BLOATED RICH PIGS SHOULD GET TO DICTATE HOW THE REST OF THE COUNTRY LIVES!

 

BLACK VOTERS FORGOT WE DEMOCRATS OWN THEM LIKE WE DID ON OUR PLANTATIONS!

OBAMA TOLD HILLARY IT WAS A GOOD STRATEGY TO CALL MOST OF THE COUNTRY “A BASKET OF DEPLORABLES.”

AMERICANS ARE BIASED AGAINST CAREER CRIMINALS LIKE HILLARY! Continue reading

4 Comments

Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

MOCK HEADLINES: ANOTHER SAMPLING

fascists will call themselves anti-fascistsThe fascist scumbags and rapists from Antifa are proving the old, old saying that “The fascists of the future will call themselves anti-fascists.” How true! Antifa filth are proving that their name is short for “Anti-Fairness” even though they like to pretend it stands for something else. Anyway, those Nazis are part of this latest go-round of Mock News Headlines:  

ANTIFA PROMISES TO BEAT UP ALL ELDERLY PEOPLE IN MAGA HATS … JOHN MCCAIN APPLAUDS THEM

TRUMP-HATERS OUTRAGED THAT NOBODY BUT THEM IS MAD THAT PRESIDENT TRUMP POINTED OUT THEIR LIES YET AGAIN

two kinds of fascistsDEMOCRATS DEMAND THAT MINDLESS AGREEMENT WITH EVERY INSANE THING THAT DEMOCRATS SAY SHOULD BE A CONDITION OF EMPLOYMENT … ANYWHERE, IN ANY JOB

CNN CLAIMS PRESIDENT TRUMP IS TO BLAME FOR THEIR NEVER-ENDING OVEREXPOSURE OF HIM

CORPORATE MEDIA STILL TRYING TO PRETEND THERE IS ANYTHING PRESIDENT TRUMP COULD SAY THAT THEY WOULD NOT DISTORT OR WOULD FIND ACCEPTABLE!  

fascism is antifaCNN POLL SHOWS PRESIDENT TRUMP IS AT HIS LOWEST APPROVAL RATING WITH PEOPLE WHO DIDN’T LIKE HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE! 

CNN REPORTS THAT PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP CAUSED THE END OF THE WORLD TWICE YESTERDAY AND ONCE TODAY ALREADY  

REPUBLICAN JOHN MCCAIN CALLS ON ANTIFA TO ASSAULT HIS OWN CONSTITUENTS IN THE NAME OF LOVE

CNN SAYS PRESIDENT TRUMP IS THE MOST HITLERISH HITLER WHO HAS EVER HITLERED IN HITLER-LIKE WAYS SINCE HITLER! AND BY THE WAY – HITLER!

Antifa posterDEMOCRATS CALL FOR ROVING MOBS OF ANTIFA RAPISTS TO REPLACE CONVENTIONAL POLICE 

CNN ANNOUNCES THEY ARE WORKING ON TECHNOLOGY THAT MAKES VIEWERS SEE PRESIDENT TRUMP IN THEIR SLEEP

ANTIFA THREATENS TO KILL PEOPLE WHO POINT OUT THAT THEY ARE THE BIGGEST FASCISTS IN THE COUNTRY

WOLF BLITZER BLAMES HIS ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION ON PRESIDENT TRUMP Continue reading

20 Comments

Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, opinion

TV FOR TRUMP-HATERS

hillary yellingThere appears to be no limit to the psychotic hatred that Hillary’s following of sore losers make themselves feel toward United States President Donald Trump. Our de facto Third Party President is a nightmare come true for Democrats and Republicans who can’t stand the poor and the working class.

Not content to force wildly frantic anti-Trump comments into every minute of the day in every form of media, Trump-Haters will probably resort to editing anti-Trump remarks into OLD SYNDICATED SHOWS, too!

RadarM*A*S*H – I imagine some day we’ll get treated to a clearly distraught Radar O’Reilly (Gary Burghoff) announcing to the M*A*S*H 4077th:

“Lieutenant-Colonel Henry Blake’s plane … was shot down by Donald Trump … over the Sea of Japan. It spun in … there were no survivors.”

You doubt me? Not in a world where American comedy has been reduced to this:

“Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from Trump!”

“Why does a fireman wear red suspenders? As a clear rebuke to the Trump administration!” Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under humor