Category Archives: humor

PRESIDENTIAL LOSERS: PROS AND CONS

Mascot new lookHappy Presidents Day Weekend! Over the years Balladeer’s Blog’s irreverent, tongue-in-cheek looks at the pros and cons of U.S. Presidents have been among my most visited items.

For a change of pace here’s a look at the pros and cons of the LOSERS who were left in a defeated heap enroute to the Oval Office. In reverse order:

hillary-clinton-haitiHILLARY CLINTON (Lost to President Donald Trump)

Motto: “When the money keeps rolling in (to your fake charity), what’s a girl to do? Skim a little (well, quite a lot, actually) off the top for expenses wouldn’t you?”

Nickname: The Rapist’s Wife/ Crooked Hillary 

Hillary clinton dough nationPro: Her childish refusal to address her own supporters the night Donald Trump utterly humiliated her provided a look at how truly petty, shallow and classless she is. 

Con: She and her fascist followers tried to threaten the members of the Electoral College into casting their votes for her instead of Trump, thereby reaching the absolute lowest and most disgusting level that any American politician has ever sunk to. 

MITT ROMNEY (Lost to Obama)

Motto: “Pushing women back to the Fifties … the EIGHTEEN fifties!”

Nickname: The Mormon Mondale/ Ol’ Sploog Face (tie)

Pro: His even more pathetic running mate Paul Ryan actually made him look good by comparison. 

Con: Was so thoroughly inept he managed to lose to Barack Obama even after voters saw what a disaster he was.

John Mccain cheatingJOHN MCCAIN (Lost to Obama)

Motto: “I didn’t spend years in the pockets of the McCain Foundation’s billionaire donors just to watch a candidate even MORE deeply in their pockets beat me … but once Barack did I was happy to kiss his butt!” Continue reading

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U.S. PRESIDENTS FROM EISENHOWER TO TRUMP

It’s Presidents Day Weekend! Here are some takes on the more recent presidents.  

EisenhowerDWIGHT EISENHOWER

Character Type: Well-meaning but befuddled sitcom grandfather.

Military Service: World War One and World War Two

Motto: “FOOORE!” (Remember,  the traditional cry as you’re teeing off in golf? Oh, never mind!)

Nickname: Uncle Milty

Pro: Knew enough to distrust Richard Nixon long before it became the national pasttime. 

Con: Was the first president to pronounce nuclear as “nucular”.

john f kennedyJOHN F KENNEDY

Character Type: Rich playboy who disdained both Liberals and Conservatives and played by his own rules.

Military Service: World War Two

Motto: “Thank God for television!”

Nickname: FDR  

Pro: The man was shrewd enough to distrust both liberals and conservatives equally. I can’t praise that attitude highly enough given our present circumstances. 

Con: Continue reading

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POLITICAL CARTOONS: A FEW OF THE LATEST

With daily revelations about the Uranium One Scandal and the way Obama used governmental agencies against political opponents here’s a few light-hearted political cartoons about the ongoing mess and the corporate media’s role in abetting the cover-ups.

see no evil ...

And here’s Obama as Nixon …

Richard Nixon

 

 

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VICE PRESIDENTS: JOKES ABOUT THESE ULTIMATE SECOND BANANAS

John Adams

With President’s Day coming up soon here’s the first of many seasonal posts.

John Adams called the Vice Presidency “the most insignificant office that ever the invention of man contrived.” A very old joke went “Once there were two brothers. One ran away to sea and the other became Vice President. Neither was ever heard from again.”

In George S Kaufman’s and Morrie Ryskind’s classic stage work Of Thee I Sing one of the characters turns down an offer to be Vice President because he’s ashamed to have his mother know. He’s persuaded to accept the office when it’s pointed out that if he doesn’t tell her about it she’ll never find out.

The office has featured eminently forgettable figures as well as comic relief buffoons like Dan “The Global Village Idiot” Quayle and Joe “Koo Koo For Cocoa Puffs” Biden. In the light-hearted style of Balladeer’s Blog’s look at U.S. Presidents here’s a look at the men who got to hang around and see if the country’s Chief Executive wound up six feet under. I’m omitting VP’s who went on to actually become President, so no John Adams or Thomas Jefferson, etc. 

aaron-burrAARON BURR

Served Under: Jefferson 

Noted for: Shooting dead more Treasury Secretaries and hatching more plots to start his own country than any other Vice President. (So far, anyway.)

Best Burr Quote: “I’m still searching for the real killers of Alexander Hamilton.” 

GEORGE CLINTON

Served Under: Jefferson and Madison

Noted for: P-Funk and Funkadelic Leading American Rebel forces against the British troops of his loyalist cousin Sir Henry Clinton during the Revolutionary War.

Best Clinton Quote: “Do fries go with that shake?”

Elbridge GerryELBRIDGE GERRY

Served Under: Madison

Noted for: Pioneering the method of “Gerrymandering” political districts in a way that the modern day Democrats and Republicans have raised to a mainstay in the world of white collar crime which they inhabit.

Best Gerry Quote: “I’ll be immortalized as the man who invented Elbridge-mandering!”

DANIEL D TOMPKINS

Served Under: Monroe Continue reading

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NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEMOCRATS: PRESIDENT TRUMP’S SOTU IS A TRIUMPH

donald-trump-and-flagPresident Donald Trump – America’s de facto Third Party President AND “the new Franklin Roosevelt” – delivered his first State of the Union address Tuesday Night to an approving citizenry … and to a dour-faced and hate-filled Democrat Gang.

The Democrats have become so twisted and bitter they seem to WANT to be known as a one-issue party, and that one issue is ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS UBER ALLES! According to some of those polls that Democrats eat, sleep and breathe by, more and more African-Americans are noticing that Democrats have brutally tossed them aside to pander to illegals.

As just one of many examples, one of the African-American parents whose children died at the hands of illegal immigrants has been speaking out since Tuesday night about how disgusted he is that the Democrats – even their Kapos in the Congressional Black Caucus – refused to show any compassion for the plight of families like his.

Stolen Lives QuiltThe Democrats are so far-gone on this issue- and have taken to rejecting ANY voices that tell them how callous they come across – that they refuse to even put on a public show of mourning the dead victims of their beloved illegal aliens. What a pack of unfeeling political robots. 

But enough about that one lone issue. President Trump highlighted his many, many accomplishments and once again came off looking like a reasonable, compassionate leader while the Democrats looked bitter, hate-filled and partisan.  Continue reading

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MOCK HEADLINES: JANUARY 17th

Mascot with demo and repub headsQUEEN ELIZABETH NAMES PRINCE WILLIAM AS HER SUCCESSOR TO THE THRONE; AL SHARPTON IS OUTRAGED THAT SHE DIDN’T PICK A BLACK MAN

CONGRESSIONAL REPUBLICANS VOW TO OUST TRUMP FOR ATTRACTING SO MANY PEOPLE OF COLOR TO THE PARTY

DEMOCRAT MEDIA STILL PRETENDING THAT THERE IS ANYTHING THAT PRESIDENT TRUMP COULD SAY OR DO THAT THEY WOULD NOT TWIST AND DISTORT AND POUT OVER

FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP STILL SPEAKS MORE LANGUAGES THAN BOTH OBAMAS COMBINED

liberals crying racism“RACIST” HAS BECOME SO OVERUSED IT WILL NOW REPLACE “MR, “MRS” AND OTHER FORMS OF ADDRESS

DEMOCRATS VOW TO MAKE “WHITE SUPREMACIST” AS OVERUSED AND MEANINGLESS AS “RACIST”

THEN DEMOCRATS WILL DO THE SAME TO “WHITE NATIONALIST”

AMERICAN LORD HAW-HAWS: THE NEW MUSICAL STARRING BILL KRISTOL, GEORGE WILL, BERNARD GOLDBERG AND ALL THE POMPOUS WHITE MALES AT NATIONAL REVIEW

SUN RISES IN THE EAST: DEMOCRATS DEMAND THAT TRUMP BE IMPEACHED FOR IT 

CORPORATE MEDIA ANNOUNCES THAT ALL TELEVISION PROGRAMS WILL NOW START WITH A TEN MINUTE ANTI-TRUMP TIRADE

PRESIDENT TRUMP ACCUSED OF VIOLATING THE FIRST AMENDMENT BY TWEETING ABOUT HOW SILLY THE TEN-MINUTE ANTI-TRUMP TIRADES ARE; IMPEACHMENT PROCEEDINGS BEGIN

INSANE WOMAN IN A GOOFY HAT ARRESTED FOR IMPERSONATING MAXINE WATERS … OH, NEVER MIND

SCIENTISTS PROVE THAT SO-CALLED “SOCIAL JUSTICE” IS SIMPLY VIGILANTE JUSTICE USED BY COWARDS Continue reading

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MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY MULTIPLE CHOICE QUIZ

martin-luther-kingI. WHY WAS MARTIN LUTHER KING DAY ESTABLISHED?

A. So that it could be politically exploited by out of touch White Liberals of Privilege who think that making a hobby out of the real-life suffering that African-Americans went through means they are qualified to speak on their behalf

B. To commemorate the life of a man who expressed a message of unity and non-violence

C. So that the racist hatemongers of BLM could pretend to be honoring the man’s memory by preaching non-stop race hatred and cop killing

II. MARTIN LUTHER KING’S NIECE RECENTLY DEFENDED PRESIDENT TRUMP ONCE AGAIN FROM TIRESOME ACCUSATIONS OF RACISM. DEMOCRATS THROW POINTLESS ACCUSATIONS OF RACISM AT PEOPLE THE SAME WAY THAT …

A. Republicans accuse pro-choice people of being “Baby Killers”

B. Left-Wing Archie Bunkers accuse everyone else of being “Nazis” 

C. Both A and B

III. WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING IS AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT DEMOCRATS AND THEIR AL SHARPTON-STYLE KAPOS IN THE BLACK COMMUNITY WOULD CALL A CIVIL RIGHTS HERO?

A. An African-American teen who studies hard and works toward a better future but who gets gunned down by black street criminals

B. A black street criminal who guns down the aforementioned African-American teen as long as that criminal charges at cops and gets killed by them

C. People of color who point out that they are free to decide for themselves which political party they will vote for 

IV. WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING IS A RACIST EXPRESSION?

A. Colored people

B. People of color

C. Neither, and only a paranoid race-baiter would say otherwise

V. WHICH OF AMERICA’S TWO LARGEST POLITICAL PARTIES BEST REPRESENTS THE INTERESTS OF AFRICAN-AMERICANS?

A. Democrats

B. Republicans

C. Neither of those parties represents the interests of anyone except white collar criminals who hold office and the bloated rich pigs who own those office-holders  Continue reading

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