Category Archives: humor

CASH GRAB AND DOWNCAST 2: A PAIR OF GRAPHIC NOVEL SENSATIONS

Cash GrabBalladeer’s Blog is telling you this: From now on, instead of BC and AD, years will be recorded in terms of BCG and ACG, as in Before Cash Grab and After Cash Grab. Well, maybe not. But you will always remember where you were and what the weather was like and what you were wearing when you first heard about Cash Grab: The Graphic Novel by Cecil

Cash Grab, by internet cult figure Cecil of Cecil Says fame, has launched on Indiegogo. Reserve your copy now! If you miss the kind of gloriously irreverent – some might say sickening – humor of Mad Magazine or Marvel’s Teen Hulk from Crazy, you can find it in this graphic novel. Continue reading

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TWENTY LOSING PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES

mascot new look donkey and elephant headsBalladeer’s Blog will be featuring plenty of Top 20 lists in honor of the year 2020. Here’s one featuring 10 Democrats and 10 Republicans yet you know partisans will accuse me of favoring one or the other party in this list. What can ya do? Anyway, in no particular order:

James M CoxJAMES M COX (Lost to Harding)

Gang Affiliation: Democrat 

Motto: “But Harding said ‘NORMALCY’ for God’s sake!”

Nickname: The Man Who Ran With Franklin Roosevelt As His Vice Presidential Candidate. 

Pro: Was so manly even his last name was phallic. 

Con: Founded Cox Communications, vowing that someday his company’s unsympathetic and unprofessional Cable Company employees would make the country pay for not electing him.

No man is good three timesWENDELL WILKIE (Lost to FDR in 1940)

Gang Affiliation: Republican

Motto: “No man is good three times.” For once I’m using the REAL motto that the person ran under for president. Wilkie’s campaign was referring to the way FDR was running for President for the third time in a row, hence the “three times.” Given the cultural taboos of the time it was apparently NOT intended as a dirty double-entendre but these days we can’t think of it any other way.

Nickname: The Guy Who Wasn’t Good Once, Let Alone Three Times

Pro: Was open-minded enough to plan with FDR the possible formation of a third major Political Party once World War Two was over.

Con: Died even before Roosevelt did, tragically depriving America of that Third Party that might have forever changed history with two such prominent men pushing it. 

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

CHANGE OF HABIT (1969)

Change of Habit bCHANGE OF HABIT (1969) – This review is in honor of Elvis Presley’s birthday. Change of Habit is a movie that was practically MADE to be ridiculed. You’ve got Elvis Presley, never exactly a master thespian, his sideburns, which out-perform him in this flick and Mary Tyler Moore as a nun torn between her vows and her growing attraction to The King.

Elvis himself plays a doctor named John Carpenter (yes, like the horror film director), making his initials J.C., just like another famous Jewish carpenter … Jacob Cohen. Dr Elvis runs a practice in the ghetto, which should probably be rendered THE GHETTO instead, given the ham-fisted and stereotypical depiction of the neighborhood and its inhabitants.

Elvis’ character  – if you can make it out behind his usual one-note performance – is supposed to be the perfect made-for-film physician: good looking, compassionate and willing to buck the system in order to help his patients. … And, of course, he sings.

Mary Tyler Moore’s Sister Michelle is accompanied by her sister nuns Sister Barbara, played by Jane Elliott in the years before she was a Soap Opera queen, and Sister Irene, played by African-American actress and singer Barbara McNair. Continue reading

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ELVIS MOVIES FOR JANUARY 8th

Mascot new lookJanuary 8th is the combined marking of Elvis Presley’s birthday and the Battle of New Orleans, in which General Andrew Jackson and French Pirate Jean Lafitte defeated the British in the final battle of the War of 1812.

In the past Balladeer’s Blog has observed this date with looks at the musical Rock’N’Roll vs The Redcoats and with an article on the whole Orion/ Elvis situation. This time I’m taking a quick look at some early Elvis movies.

love me tenderLOVE ME TENDER (1956) – Elvis was the latest reason that the saga of the Reno Gang/ Reno Brothers got distorted on the big screen. The need to turn the Reno story into a vehicle for Elvis Presley made this attempt the most unintentionally funny of them all.

Favorite Part: A scene between Elvis, playing Clint Reno, and Richard Egan, playing Vance Reno. Despite the fact that the long-missing Vance was given up for dead and Elvis married his mourning girlfriend in the meantime the Side-Burned One actually asks “What’s troublin’ you, Vance?”  That question has been a catch-phrase for me ever since I first saw this flick on late-night tv.

Favorite Weirdass Song: Let Me  Continue reading

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TWENTY MORE FAILED PREDICTIONS FROM PSYCHICS

masc graveyard newBalladeer’s Blog’s previous items on hilariously failed predictions by “psychics” were so popular here’s a fourth installment.

JEANE DIXON

*** By 1990 the U.S. will have its first female president.

*** In 1988 the Russians and their satellite nations will invade the Middle East and occupy Israel and its neighboring Muslim nations. The resulting war of resistance against the Soviets will last 7 years.

*** In 1995 the United States, United Kingdom, France, Germany and Japan will establish a headquarters in Rome to begin strategizing for a counteroffensive against the Soviets in the Middle East. A great Allied leader will emerge from the Rome preparations.

*** In 1999 the Allies will be at war with the Soviets. Russian nuclear missiles will wipe out most coastal cities in the U.S. as well as many cities in Europe.

*** In the year 2000 the Soviet forces in Israel will be destroyed by the U.S. and its allies. The great Allied leader mentioned before will be hailed as a savior, ruler and conquering hero. However, they will prove to be a “false prophet of evil.” (So would a false prophet of evil be a prophet of goodness?) 

*** By 2005 China will conquer all of Asia and move into the Middle East. Nuclear war will be unleashed again and China will be defeated after the loss of millions of lives. (Sure, we can look back on it now and laugh, but back THEN …) Continue reading

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BEST OF SEPTEMBER 2019

Balladeer’s Blog’s end of year retrospective continues with this look at September’s best:

classical greecePOLEIS (CITIES) 422-419 B.C. – A look at the ancient Greek political comedy written by Eupolis. CLICK HERE

TRANSGRESS WITH ME: SEPTEMBER 23rd – Are you brave enough to share some more transgressive thoughts? CLICK HERE

Babylon ElectrifiedANCIENT SCIENCE FICTION – Messages From Mars (1892)  HERE , The Queen of Appalachia (1901) HERE , Babylon Electrified (1888) HERE , Looking Forward (1899) HERE , The Automatic Maid (1893) HERE

HEROIC WOMEN FIGHTING OPPRESSION IN THE MUSLIM WORLD – The title says it all. CLICK HERE

WOI EPIC – A Liberian epic myth about gods and demons. CLICK HERE

Isaiah WashingtonISAIAH WASHINGTON – And yet another Martin Luther King Person of Courage to profile – CLICK HERE Continue reading

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Filed under Ancient Greek Comedy, Bad and weird movies, humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Mythology, Neglected History, opinion

STAR WARS: EPISODE TEN OPENING CRAWL

Balladeer’s Blog’s sources in the industry – and by the industry I mean the business – have leaked to me the wording of the opening crawl for the next Star Wars movie.

Dark Rey“A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away … 

EPISODE X: SUBVERT THIS!

DEJA VU! Rey Skywalker has fallen to the Dark Side! Rechristening herself Empress Palpatine she single-handedly conquered every inhabited world in dozens of galaxies. On the second day she conquered even more!

Using heretofore unknown Force abilities, Empress Palpatine altered the fabric of reality itself to the point where no one alive even remembers a time when she was not the unquestioned ruler of thousands of planets. Continue reading

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