Category Archives: humor

HILLARY CLINTON INSISTS THE FALCONS REALLY WON THE SUPERBOWL

trump-and-tom-bradyHillary’s irrational and hate-filled devotees are so messed up inside they actually made a huge deal out of the fact that Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady, Patriots Coach Bill Belichek and Patriots owner Robert Kraft have long been friends of President Donald Trump.

You couldn’t miss all the ridiculous stories leading up to the Super Bowl last week, with our increasingly deranged media even huffing indignantly over the fact that Brady, Belichek and Kraft – gasp – refused to denounce their friend.

trump-and-brady-2Since Left-Wing Archie Bunkers have no identity outside of their political opinions they just could not understand people who ignore public pressure to conform to Political Correctness.

They are STILL complaining about how the Superbowl results paralleled Election Night when Trump shocked them by defeating Hillary Clinton, who had to settle for becoming President of California instead of President of the United States.

With the way Hillary’s following of losers obsess over irrelevant statistics a common joke now is that Hillary fans insist the Falcons REALLY won the Superbowl because they got more yards per play than the Patriots did. Hilarious! Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

TEXAS TWENTY-SEVEN FILM VAULT: THIRTY-SECOND ANNIVERSARY

Happy Anniversary to The Texas Twenty-Seven Film Vault, one of the pre-MST3K Movie Host shows. Yes it was Saturday night February 9th, 1985 that this program debuted in Dallas, Texas, in the same studio that would later be used for Joe Bob’s Drive-In. Here is an encore presentation of my EXCLUSIVE 2011 interview with Randy Clower, one of The Texas Twenty-Seven Film Vault‘s co-creators and co-hosts. 

Clower (right) with co-host Richard Malmos as “Film Vault Technicians First Class” on The Texas 27 Film Vault

Before MST3K there was THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT! Before Joel and Mike lovers of bad movies had Randy and Richard! Before Pearl there was Laurie Savino! Before Devil Dogs, Observers and Deep 13 there came Cellumites, giant rats and Level 31.

In the mid 1980s The Texas 27 Film Vault was the show to watch on Saturday nights for wry mockery of Golden Turkeys preceded by episodes of vintage Republic Serials like Radar Men From The Moon and Canadian Mounties vs Atomic Invaders.    

The Texas 27 Film Vault is one of the great unsung Movie Host shows of the 1980s and I was thrilled to get this exclusive interview with Randy Clower, co-star and co-creator of this legendary cult show from the Dallas/ Fort Worth area. “The Film Vault Guys” as they were often called by us fans, or “Vaulties”,  established the pattern that a few other Movie Hosts have since followed. Continue reading

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Filed under Bad and weird movies, Forgotten Television, humor, Movie Hosts

ASSIGNMENT: TERROR (1969)

 I’ve been getting emails requesting that I review this movie, but I already did in 2010. For the folks requesting it, here it is again.

ASSIGNMENT: TERROR (1969) – If they gave a Nobel Prize for bad movie premises this baby would easily wind up wearing one of those big medallions around its neck! Spain’s King of Horror (and John Belushi look-alike) , Paul “Jacinto Molina” Naschy is in this film playing his recurring character, tormented lycanthrope Waldemar Daninsky.

The premise of this movie is that aliens plan to conquer the world by frightening humanity into submission by scaring us with monsters. Call me crazy, but I think Continue reading

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Filed under Bad and weird movies, Halloween Season, humor

TRUMP UPDATES

panic-signThe collective nervous breakdown by the American corporate media continues, so here are some more headlines reflecting this “new” style:

TRUMP HAS INCREASED THE NUMBER OF CHILDREN HE EATS ON A DAILY BASIS!

TRUMP DENIES THE ROLE HE PLAYED IN CRUCIFYING JESUS CHRIST!

CNN SAYS TRUMP IS MORE HITLERISHLY HITLERISH THAN ANY OTHER HITLERS WHO HITLERED IN HITLER-LIKE WAYS AT ANY OTHER TIME SINCE HITLER! AND BY THE WAY – HITLER! 

DEMOCRATS VOW TO MAKE 24/7 HYSTERIA THEIR STRATEGY FROM NOW ON!

CNN REPORTS THAT DISEASE WAS UNKNOWN IN THE WESTERN WORLD UNTIL TRUMP!

DEMOCRAT SCHOOL TEACHERS TELL THEIR TERRIFIED STUDENTS THAT DONALD TRUMP HATES EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM INDIVIDUALLY!

… AND TRUMP PROBABLY KILLED THEIR LAST PET THAT DIED, TOO!

MILLIONS REPORT THAT, OVERNIGHT, TRUMP BROKE INTO THEIR HOME, STOLE ALL THEIR FURNISHINGS AND REPLACED THEM WITH EXACT DUPLICATES! “Come over and see for yourself” outraged victims demand  Continue reading

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MARK ZUCKERBERG, WHITE MALE OPPRESSOR, SUES NATIVE HAWAIIANS TO GET THEIR LAND

mark zuckerberg

*** * ONE PERCENTER MARK “SKIPPY” ZUCKERBERG *** *

One percenter and bloated rich pig Mark “Skippy” Zuckerberg, CEO of Fakebook and prime example of NeoColonialism, is suing HUNDREDS of kamaaina Hawaiians to force them to sale him their land. The suit is supposedly being filed because Zuckerberg wants more privacy. Privacy that he feels isn’t enough as long as those Hawaiians retain their perfectly legal rights to that land.

Zuckerberg spoke to a non-existent reporter for Balladeer’s Blog and said “Hey, when you have a lot of money you can pull strings so that the corporate media doesn’t lay a glove on you when you oppress people of color like this.”

Skippy Zuckerberg then admitted it was in bad taste to be using native Hawaiian children as human footrests like he was doing while talking to this non-existent reporter. After kicking the unfortunate children and telling them to “Get lost, punks” Zuckerberg offered further insight regarding his unconscionable behavior.

george-soros-alone

MM… . … …  GEORGE “WHAT NAZIS?” SOROS … …

“People like me, George Soros, Carlos Slim and a few others, we can do things like this whenever and wherever we want, then five minutes later we’ll be lecturing the poor and the working class for opposing illegal immigration. We can kill negative stories about ourselves virtually at will … Hell, look how Soros has REAL Nazi connections yet it seems like he’s the ONLY guy who never gets called Hitler.” Continue reading

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MARIKAS (421 B.C.) – ANCIENT GREEK COMEDY

EupolisBalladeer’s Blog presents another look at an ancient Greek Comedy. This time around it’s one written by Eupolis who – along with Aristophanes and Cratinus – was one of the Big Three of Attic Old Comedy.

MARIKAS (c 421 B.C.) – This was the second comedy to emerge in the new subgenre of Attic Old Comedy called “the Demagogue Comedy”. Aristophanes led the way a few years earlier with The Knights, his comedy attacking the politician Cleon. The play Marikas finds Eupolis attacking the demagogue Hyperbolus, whose reputation for character assassination by way of overstatement lives on in our language by way of the word “hyperbole”.  

As with most ancient Greek comedies Marikas has survived only in fragmentary form. Those fragments, along with contemporary references in surviving works, provide what is known about the play. Marikas, the title character, was used by Eupolis to represent the politician Hyperbolus the same way Aristophanes had used the Paphlagonian to represent Cleon in The Knights.

The ancient Greek comedies made a point of breaking the fourth wall on a regular basis (despite the way so many people have convinced themselves that that is a “postmodern” development) and Marikas opened up with a character assuring the audience that the play they were about to see was NOT just a rehashing of The Knights. Continue reading

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PRESIDENTIAL ACTION AND HORROR FILMS

George WashingtonGEORGE WASHINGTON BATTLES THE BERSERKERS – During the brutal winter at Valley Forge General George Washington must contend with more than just the elements and the distant British army. The Hessian troops the Redcoats have imported from the German- speaking world have unleashed a master plan to overrun the Continental Army once and for all.

Their ranks boast a dabbler in Nordic magic and he’s concocted a mushroom-heavy formula to transform all the Hessians into furious berserkers like those of the Viking age! George is having none of it of course, and plans to turn the Pennsylvania snow red with the blood of these latter-day berserkers of the ancient Germanic god Woden.

All this plus a gay love affair between Washington and Alexander Hamilton just to guarantee lots of free publicity! 

John AdamsJOHN ADAMS: WITCHSLAYER – Remember the tale of young John Adams defending a 1700s Wiccan priestess when he was a lawyer? This movie would proceed from the notion that the young witch went on to involve Adams in a battle royal with an evil coven of dark witches who were giving paganism a bad name!

Using an aresenal of mystic weapons provided by the priestess he defended John goes on to lay the thirteen witches and warlocks of the dark coven in their graves! Throw in an Continue reading

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Filed under Bad and weird movies, Fantastic Movie Reviews, humor