Category Archives: humor

MOCK HEADLINES: OCTOBER 3rd

Free speech 6CAL-BERKELEY ANNOUNCES NEW POST-GRADUATE COURSE IN BOOK-BURNING

CNN ANNOUNCES THAT PRESIDENT TRUMP CANNOT BE RULED OUT AS A SUSPECT IN THE LAS VEGAS SHOOTING

BRAIN-DEAD PROFESSIONAL ATHLETES NOW CLAIM THEY’RE PROTESTING UNTIL WOMEN ARE GIVEN THE RIGHT TO VOTE

… OR BECAUSE THEY WANT TO END PROHIBITION, OR SOMETHING

DEMOCRATS INSIST DR SEUSS BOOKS ARE RACIST WHEN FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP DONATES THEM TO LIBRARIES BUT NOT WHEN MICHELLE OBAMA READS THEM ALOUD TO SCHOOL CHILDREN  

NFL PLAYERS FORM NEW ORGANIZATION CALLED R.A.W.B.A.T. – “RAPISTS AND WOMAN-BEATERS AGAINST TRUMP”

Hillary 2020HILLARY CLINTON ACCUSES PRESIDENT TRUMP OF COLLUDING WITH HIS VOTERS TO KICK HER SORRY ASS IN THE 2016 ELECTION 

DEMOCRATS DEMAND INVESTIGATION INTO TRUMP’S ROLE IN RUSSIA SELLING ALASKA TO AMERICA

THE POPE, DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION, PROCLAIMS THAT ISLAM IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF CATHOLICISM

ROGER GOODELL CLAIMS THAT ALL THE RAPES AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE COMMITTED BY NFL ATHLETES WERE DONE AS POLITICAL PROTESTS

NEWS READERS WHO CAN’T LOCATE PUERTO RICO ON A MAP FEIGN OUTRAGE OVER … WELL, THEY’RE NOT SURE WHAT, BUT THEY INSIST IT’S PRESIDENT TRUMP’S FAULT

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HILLARY “BUGSY” CLINTON BITTERLY FLAILS AT EVERYONE AND CALLS BERNIE SANDERS VOTERS “SEXIST”

Hillary Clinton tourWhite Supremacist Hillary Clinton, the pant-suited Richard Nixon on steroids, continued spouting the pompous Democrat attitude that groups they claim to “own” owe them slavish and unquestioning loyalty. Hillary said she will not offer “absolution” to women who did not vote for her.

Apparently, Delusional Hillary mistakenly thinks there are untold numbers of women who regret not voting for her. Yes, there are untold numbers of women who bitterly spout non-stop hatred for OTHER WOMEN who did not vote for Hillary, but there is NO indication that anyone wise enough to vote for the other candidates feels any sense of regret.

Hillary Clinton supportersIf anything, our de facto Third Party President Donald Trump has – merely by winning – forced the Democrats (DemCorp) and Republicans (RepubCorp) to show their real faces.

But since Crooked Hillary is still gnashing her teeth in impotent outrage here’s another look at my fictional HILLARY CLINTON EXCUSE CALENDAR. You’ll get three hundred sixty-five gems like:

THE RUSSIANS FORCED HILLARY TO RUN A FAKE CHARITY, ACCEPT BRIBES AND MISHANDLE CLASSIFIED INFORMATION!

THE VOTES OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS SHOULD BE THE ONLY VOTES THAT COUNT!

MALE VOTERS FELT THREATENED BY A WOMAN LIKE HILLARY WHO LIVES OFF THE ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF HER HUSBAND!

HILLARY’S SHRILL VOICE WAS SO HIGH-PITCHED ONLY DOGS COULD HEAR HER LIES AND PROMISES.

map
… … RED – Trump, Blue – Hillary

ISOLATED, HEAVILY POPULATED POCKETS OF POMPOUS SNOBS AND BLOATED RICH PIGS SHOULD GET TO DICTATE HOW THE REST OF THE COUNTRY LIVES!

 

BLACK VOTERS FORGOT WE DEMOCRATS OWN THEM LIKE WE DID ON OUR PLANTATIONS!

OBAMA TOLD HILLARY IT WAS A GOOD STRATEGY TO CALL MOST OF THE COUNTRY “A BASKET OF DEPLORABLES.”

AMERICANS ARE BIASED AGAINST CAREER CRIMINALS LIKE HILLARY! Continue reading

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MOCK HEADLINES: ANOTHER SAMPLING

fascists will call themselves anti-fascistsThe fascist scumbags and rapists from Antifa are proving the old, old saying that “The fascists of the future will call themselves anti-fascists.” How true! Antifa filth are proving that their name is short for “Anti-Fairness” even though they like to pretend it stands for something else. Anyway, those Nazis are part of this latest go-round of Mock News Headlines:  

ANTIFA PROMISES TO BEAT UP ALL ELDERLY PEOPLE IN MAGA HATS … JOHN MCCAIN APPLAUDS THEM

TRUMP-HATERS OUTRAGED THAT NOBODY BUT THEM IS MAD THAT PRESIDENT TRUMP POINTED OUT THEIR LIES YET AGAIN

two kinds of fascistsDEMOCRATS DEMAND THAT MINDLESS AGREEMENT WITH EVERY INSANE THING THAT DEMOCRATS SAY SHOULD BE A CONDITION OF EMPLOYMENT … ANYWHERE, IN ANY JOB

CNN CLAIMS PRESIDENT TRUMP IS TO BLAME FOR THEIR NEVER-ENDING OVEREXPOSURE OF HIM

CORPORATE MEDIA STILL TRYING TO PRETEND THERE IS ANYTHING PRESIDENT TRUMP COULD SAY THAT THEY WOULD NOT DISTORT OR WOULD FIND ACCEPTABLE!  

fascism is antifaCNN POLL SHOWS PRESIDENT TRUMP IS AT HIS LOWEST APPROVAL RATING WITH PEOPLE WHO DIDN’T LIKE HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE! 

CNN REPORTS THAT PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP CAUSED THE END OF THE WORLD TWICE YESTERDAY AND ONCE TODAY ALREADY  

REPUBLICAN JOHN MCCAIN CALLS ON ANTIFA TO ASSAULT HIS OWN CONSTITUENTS IN THE NAME OF LOVE

CNN SAYS PRESIDENT TRUMP IS THE MOST HITLERISH HITLER WHO HAS EVER HITLERED IN HITLER-LIKE WAYS SINCE HITLER! AND BY THE WAY – HITLER!

Antifa posterDEMOCRATS CALL FOR ROVING MOBS OF ANTIFA RAPISTS TO REPLACE CONVENTIONAL POLICE 

CNN ANNOUNCES THEY ARE WORKING ON TECHNOLOGY THAT MAKES VIEWERS SEE PRESIDENT TRUMP IN THEIR SLEEP

ANTIFA THREATENS TO KILL PEOPLE WHO POINT OUT THAT THEY ARE THE BIGGEST FASCISTS IN THE COUNTRY

WOLF BLITZER BLAMES HIS ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION ON PRESIDENT TRUMP Continue reading

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TV FOR TRUMP-HATERS

hillary yellingThere appears to be no limit to the psychotic hatred that Hillary’s following of sore losers make themselves feel toward United States President Donald Trump. Our de facto Third Party President is a nightmare come true for Democrats and Republicans who can’t stand the poor and the working class.

Not content to force wildly frantic anti-Trump comments into every minute of the day in every form of media, Trump-Haters will probably resort to editing anti-Trump remarks into OLD SYNDICATED SHOWS, too!

RadarM*A*S*H – I imagine some day we’ll get treated to a clearly distraught Radar O’Reilly (Gary Burghoff) announcing to the M*A*S*H 4077th:

“Lieutenant-Colonel Henry Blake’s plane … was shot down by Donald Trump … over the Sea of Japan. It spun in … there were no survivors.”

You doubt me? Not in a world where American comedy has been reduced to this:

“Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from Trump!”

“Why does a fireman wear red suspenders? As a clear rebuke to the Trump administration!” Continue reading

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AN UNINTENTIONAL COMEDY CLASSIC

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THE WISEST SONG OF ALL TIME

Whenever I feel a little down or find myself contemplating the myriad contradictory truths of existence I find contentment in one particular song. I think we can all relate to the larger message behind the lyrics.

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NAME THE SITE BEING PARODIED AND WIN A PRIZE

Christopher Nolan: The Most Over-Contemplated Director in History

Christopher Nolan: The Most Over-Contemplated Director in History

The first person to email me the name of the site being parodied in this post wins a special prize!

* TWELVE THINGS THAT TEN-YEAR-OLD CHILDREN DON’T KNOW ABOUT CLASSIC MOVIES *

* THE FOUR MOST EXCITING CRICKET PLAYERS IN HISTORY AND WHY THEY’RE REALLY THE FOUR MOST BORING CRICKET PLAYERS IN HISTORY *

* TEN REASONS WHY WE Continue reading

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