Monthly Archives: August 2010



Location: Notre Dame, IN

Division: NCAA Division 3

Conference Affiliation: Michigan Intercollegiate Athletic Association

Major sports: basketball, soccer, softball, volleyball


Comment: Get it? The Bells Of Saint Mary’s becomes “The Belles Of Saint Mary’s” for this female institution’s sports teams, just as it became The Bells Of Saint Berwyn in a memorable Son Of Svengoolie comedy sketch. This school should Continue reading


Filed under Cool names and cool logos


"Under Obamacare I want YOUR take-home pay to be reduced to the point where you have trouble making ends meet!"

“Under Obamacare I want YOUR take-home pay to be reduced to the point where you have trouble making ends meet!”

One thing that is incredibly hilarious about Liberals and Conservatives is the way in which they are all THE EXACT SAME TYPE OF JACKASSES!

Liberals like to pretend they are “non-judgemental people” but anyone who has ever spent 15 minutes or more around Liberals knows they are AT LEAST as judgemental as the worst Conservative religious fanatics. American Liberals are pretentious asses who think they are Continue reading




If You Feed Them, They Will Come – Cumberland Bulldogs Director of Athletics Ron Pavan has announced that tailgating and free food will be available for the Bulldog faithful for the football season opener this Thursday, September 2nd in Clarksville ,TN (insert your own “Last Train” joke here) against the Austin-Peay Governors. If you’ve never witnessed an Austin-Peay sporting event the team’s fans love to chant “Let’s go Peay! Let’s go Peay!” with the proverbial smile on their lips and a song in their hearts. Anyway, the food tent for CU fans will be at Eighth and Marion Streets just east of Governors Stadium. Food will be served from 4-5:30 PM.

Opening Volley – The Franklin and Marshall Diplomats  volleyball team has been picked in the preseason poll to win the Centennial Conference this year. The entire starting rotation from last year’s 23-6 team returns. “Little” Pam Horner and Nicole “Mighty Mo” Morano, both All-Conference players last season, will lead the Diplomats as they try for their fifth Centennial Conference title since the year 2000. Franklin and Marshall open their season this Friday, Sept 3rd against the Dickinson Red Devils.  

Queen Bees Turn In A Royal Performance – Speaking of volleyball the Saint Ambrose University Queen Bees went 3-1 at the Saint Ambrose Early Bird Tournament in Davenport, IA. The ladies defeated Benedictine-Springfield 3-0 by scores of 25-13, 25-14 and 25-14. Their loss came at the hands of the Mount Vernon Nazarene Cougars by scores of 25-22, 25-18, 22-25 and 25-16. Amy Royer of St Ambrose made the All-Tournament team!

Cougar Tales – Staying on volleyball for a moment, the Sioux Falls Cougars went 3-1 at the 16th Annual Red Raider Classic, hosted by the Northwestern (IA) College Red Raiders this past weekend. On day 1 of the tourney the ladies defeated the Indiana Wesleyan Wildcats by scores of 25-21, 25-17, 22-25 and 25-23. They then took down the MidAmerica Nazarene Pioneers by scores of 25-18, 22-25, 25-23 and 25-21. On day two they split, sweeping the Graceland Yellowjackets by scores of 25-21, 25-17 and 25-22, but losing to the Oklahoma Baptist Bison after going the distance 25-20, 13-25, 21-25, 25-23 and 13-15. The Cougars’ overall record is now 5-3, with the Waldorf Warriors coming up on Wednesday, September 1st.   

Saint Xavier Women’s Basketball Lands Star Recruit – Maloree Johnson, a senior point guard at Rockford Boylan Catholic High School in Rockford, IL. “I’m proud to become a student at Saint Xavier University, ” Johnson said, “because it is such a great school and I’m also excited to be a part of such a successful basketball program.” The SXU Cougars women’s basketball team went 31-2 last season and won the Chicagoland Collegiate Athletic Conference regular season and tournament titles. In the NAIA tournament back in March they made it all the way to the Elite Eight for the first time in the program’s 10 year history.

 Don’t Forget To Vote – Polls close on September 12th for my latest Top 20 contest. To vote for your favorite among The 20 Coolest Helmets In NCAA Division 3 e-mail me at . To review the list of 20 candidates click here: 

Taylor Trojans Volleyball Off To 4-0 Start – The 10th-ranked Taylor Trojans went 4-0 at the aforementioned Red Raider Classic, with 3 of their wins coming over other Top 25 teams! The Trojans dominated at the net this past weekend with a .350 hitting percentage and recorded 47 team blocks in the 4 matches combined. Rachel Kizer and Kelsey Pritchard led Taylor with 7 kills apiece against the Bellevue Bruins alone. The ladies will next host their own tournament, the 8-team Trojan Challenge this Friday and Saturday. Their opening opponent in the tournament will be yet another Top 25 team (Head Coach Brittany Smith needs to have a serious talk with whoever does her team’s scheduling) in the Shawnee State Bears.

Some Baltimore Love For Blue Jays FootballJohns Hopkins Blue Jays Head Football Coach Jim Margraff will be a guest tonight on WBAL’s Sportsline with Brett Holander at 8:15PM (Moved from its previous time slot of 8:14 and 36 seconds) on 1090 AM. You can tune in or catch it live on the internet at  Plus the Baltimore Sun ran a full-length preview of the JHU 2010 football team today and you can read it at :,0,5433561.story


Filed under college sports



(1) LINDSEY WILSON BLUE RAIDERS 6 Pikeville Bears nil

(2) The Master’s Mustangs 1 (10) Benedictine Ravens 1 (DRAW)

(4) RIO GRANDE (OH) REDMEN 4 Spring Arbor Cougars nil

(6) MARTIN METHODIST REDHAWKS 2 (18) Bethel (IN) Pilots 1

(7) NOTRE DAME (OH) FALCONS 4 Grace Lancers nil

(12) BETHEL (TN) WILDCATS 2 Lee Flames 1

(14) COLUMBIA (MO) COUGARS 1 John Brown University Golden Eagles nil

(16) UT-Brownsville Scorpions 1 Mid Continent Cougars 1 (DRAW)

JUDSON EAGLES 2 (21T) McKendree Bearcats 1 (2OT)

(21T) BELLEVUE BRUINS 1 MidAmerica Nazarene Pioneers nil

(24) BAKER WILDCATS 2 Southern Nazarene Crimson Storm 1

(25) Ashford Saints nil Dordt Defenders nil (DRAW)


(1) LEE FLAMES 2 Mobile Rams nil


(9) William Carey Crusaders 1 UT-Brownsville Scorpions 1 (DRAW)

(10) INDIANA WESLEYAN WILDCATS 4  Bethel (TN) Wildcats 1

(13) AU-MONTGOMERY SENATORS 2  Shorter Hawks 1

SAINT AMBROSE QUEEN BEES 1 (15) Olivet Nazarene tigers nil

(17) BAKER WILDCATS 3 Oklahoma Christian Eagles nil

SPRING ARBOR COUGARS 3 (22) Houghton Highlanders nil 


Filed under college sports


Team: University of Sioux Falls Cougars


Comment: Previously the Defending National Champions in the NAIA had helmets with white shells and the eye-catching logo. Now these purple shells add an extra “Hey, look at this!” quality as the Cougars try for a threepeat.

As always, football helmets courtesy of The Helmet Project at:

And for more cool helmets click here:

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or the NCAA or any of their member institutions

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


Filed under Cool Helmets


Rivalry Renewed Rocked – For the first time in decades the Baker University Wildcats and the Ottawa (KS) Braves played each other in a football game. Victory Sports Network featured it as their VSN Game of the Week in free streaming video last night at 7PM EST. Braves player Clarence “The Bad C.A.” Anderson took the opening kickoff back for a touchdown. This 7-0 score held up all the way to half-time with both teams missing field goals during the rest of the 1st half. In the 2nd half Ottawa started to pull away with the Wildcats playing catch-up and the final score was 24-14, Ottawa Braves. This result was welcomed by fans of the Braves’ conference, the Kansas Collegiate Athletic Conference, who often feel that Heart of America Athletic Conference fans look down on their league. Trash-talking on the boards last night got intense. For the full schedule of VSN’s Game of the Week webcasts for 2010 click here: 

Bowled Over By The Big River Bowl – Plenty of eyes were on The Big River Bowl matchup between the 8th-ranked McKendree Bearcats and the 11th-ranked Cumberlands Patriots. The Bearcats trailed in the 4th quarter but came back to win 34-27 led by Jimmy “Grizzly” Berezik . Berezik was the game’s MVP with 152 rushing yards on 14 carries.

Hardrockin’ and Orediggin’ – In one of the tightest games of the day the South Dakota School of Mines and Technology Hardrockers defeated the Montana Tech Orediggers 13-6. The game was tied up 6-6 for quite a while before the Hardrockers won it 13-6. Last night most of my blog’s hits that came from search engines were from people looking for the result of this game so obviously there was a lot of interest out there.

Bittersweet Historical Night – The good news is that Saturday night the Notre Dame College Falcons played their first intercollegiate football game in the school’s 88 year history. The bad news is they went up against NCAA Division  2’s Mercyhurst Lakers and lost 23-0. Next Saturday NDC will be in the history books again as they go on the road to take on the Lindsey Wilson College Blue Raiders, who will be playing in their first intercollegiate game since the school discontinued football 75 years ago.  

No Upsets Of D2 Schools – …And that item leads us into this one. Unfortunately no NAIA teams upset any of the NCAA Division 2 teams they went up against on opening week. For new followers of lower division sports let me point out that just as Division 1A schools often schedule 1AA opponents for an early-season game the same thing is done down the line, with 1AA teams often scheduling D2 teams for an early-season game and D2 teams often scheduling NAIA or D3 teams. The closest this year’s crop of NAIA schools came to an upper-division upset was when the Southern Nazarene Crimson Storm was tied up 21-21 with the Eastern New Mexico Greyhounds. Unfortunately the final score wound up being 59-21. It makes you long for last season when the NAIA Champion Sioux Falls Cougars thrashed Division ONE’s North Dakota Fighting Sioux, or Fighting Sue, or Fight’N’Sue, or whatever they change their name to.

Other Thoughts – A mild surprise of the night came from the Montana State-Northern Lights win over the Montana Western Bulldogs 20-3. Pretty interesting what this does to the Frontier Conference race right out of the gate…The Southern Oregon Raiders may move into the polls after they upset the 21st-ranked Eastern Oregon Mountaineers 34-30…The Peru State Bobcat’s hopes of being ranked suffered a setback when they lost to the Concordia (NE) Bulldogs 13-7…The Belhaven Blazers made their case to join the rankings by blasting the Texas College Steers 53-3.


Filed under college football


Blood FreakBLOOD FREAK (1972) – Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9-sized cult following      This film is so comparatively well-known that I considered not including it, but it’s one of my all-time favorites so I’ll include it but just keep the entry short. The lead character in this movie is a biker named Herschell. It’s possible his motorcycle is called Shlomo but I don’t have a second source on that. (Sorry, I was channeling an old Borscht Belt comedian again) No, the director Brad Grinter admits he named the character after  legendary splatter film genius Herschell Gordon Lewis. 

Herschell gets a job at a turkey farm and at one point eats a turkey (and when I say “eats a turkey” I mean he literally just sits down with a knife, a fork and a whole cooked turkey and wolfs it all down)  treated with experimental chemicals by two mad scientists and … he turns into a man-sized turkey monster with an addiction to human blood.

No, this film is not an Continue reading


Filed under Bad and weird movies


Well, the first night of NAIA football is in the books. Division 3 gets going next week for those of you wondering. Let’s recap last night’s action:

ST XAVIER COUGARS 49 over Bethel (TN) Wildcats 32. In a game that was tight until the 4th quarter, Cougars QB Anthony “Crop-Man” Kropp had a great game but Mike Maher set an SXU record for completion yards and TD receptions!

BEMIDJI STATE BEAVERS  24 over Minot State Beavers 7. Minot State got bashed in the 12th Annual Beaver Bash, but they were up against a D2 team in Bemidji State. For newbies to lower division sports just as 1A football teams schedule 1AA teams (I feel like such a rebel for continuing to say 1A and 1AA) it goes all the way down. 1AA teams often schedule Div 2 teams for their opening game and D2 teams often schedule D3 or NAIA teams for theirs.

DICKINSON STATE BLUE HAWKS 25  over Rocky Mountain Battlin’ Bears 21In what was the closest final score of the night the Blue Hawks defense kept the Battlin’ Bears from scoring long enough for a Holland to Herr screen pass to put Dickinson State ahead for good.

CONCORD MOUNTAIN LIONS 72  over Southern Virginia Knights 21. Okay, I know Concord is D2 but still, for SVU this is the ultimate “just burn the game tape and move on” situation. I’m sure the Knights faithful would like as little said about this game as possible so let’s just move on ourselves.


Filed under college football

NAIA FOOTBALL SEASON HAS STARTED (in other news the rest of the world supposedly still exists)

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year got underway Thursday night with five gridiron contests involving NAIA football teams, three of them ranked. (For those matchups click here:  ) This coming Saturday will see seven more ranked NAIA squads in action for the first full Saturday of college football in 2010. Saturday night at 7pm the Notre Dame College Falcons will play the first intercollegiate football game in the school’s 88 year history. In a time when economic woes have been causing some institutions of higher learning to discontinue football Notre Dame College (Motto: “No, not THAT Notre Dame”) is one of the handful launching or reviving the sport.  

It’s not South Bend, IN, but Lyndhurst, OH where the Falcons will host the Mercyhurst Lakers in this historical first game. The following Saturday Notre Dame College will be on the road in another history-making matchup in the first intercollegiate football game played by the Lindsey Wilson College Blue Raiders in 75 years. Other home games for the Falcons will be against the Walsh Cavaliers, the Marian College Knights, the North Greenville Crusaders and the Urbana Blue Knights.

This is what the helmet layout will look like when the Notre Dame College Falcons take on the Mercyhurst Lakers this Saturday:


   This is what it would look like if they took on the NFL Champion Saints:

   And this is what it would look like if they took on martial arts legend Bruce Lee: 

 Kind of makes The Master look kind of small, doesn’t it?

To find out the favorite Brucesploitation movie of each of the Notre Dame College football players click here:

Football helmets courtesy of The Helmet Project at: 

Balladeer’s Blog is not affiliated with or operated by the NAIA or the NCAA or any of their member institutions. 

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog, 2010. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


Filed under college football


For Lindenwood, Volleyball Season Comes In Like A Lion – The Lady Lions of Lindenwood University will be starting their season tomorrow in the Point Loma Nazarene Sea Lions Tournament. The ladies will try to clip the wings of the Concordia (CA) Eagles at 11AM Pacific Time, then at 8pm PT will be saying to the William Jessup team, “Warrioooors! Come out and pla-aaaaay!” (Bad movie fans will get it). On Saturday the 28th the Lady Lions will take on the host school Point Loma Nazarene at 1pm PT and will finish up at 5pm PT against the Cal Baptist Lancers (insert your own “boil” joke here).

Jenny Schneider Takes Over – No, it’s not the title of another sitcom starring Jenna Elfman. This bit is about the University of Sioux Falls elevating Jenny “Dwayne” Schneider to be the Head Coach for both their men’s and women’s golf teams. Schneider had been serving as the assistant coach for the golf teams’ spring season earlier this year. Among the tournaments Head Coach Schneider never missed due to sleeping in (rimshot) are the Women’s Western, Trans National, College Players Tour, and the LPGA Qualifying School.

The Sun’ll Come Out, Tamara – Tamara Gonzalez, a women’s hoops star at Cumberland University, recently played for her native country on the Paraguay Senior National Team. Gonzalez averaged 24 minutes a game and started all four games in the South American Championships in Santiago, Chile. Paraguay went 2-2 in the tournament. 

USC’s Loss Is Concordia’s Gain – Former Villanova and Duke forward Taylor King will be playing basketball for the NAIA’s Concordia (CA) Eagles instead of the USC Trojans this season. The 6-foot-6, 230 pound native of Huntington Beach, CA averaged 7.4 points and 5.3 rebounds in 32 games last year for Villanova, which reached the 2nd round of the NCAA Tournament. You can’t help but wonder if it’s a big relief to King that he won’t have to risk running into the increasingly slimey Lane Kiffin on the USC campus.


Filed under college sports