Obama DerpRecently I had the chance to interview the weak, inept and crooked little man named Barack Obama.  It was pretty easy to set up the interview. I claimed to be a Muslim family who would be happy to go on television and pretend America is an Islamophobic death-trap run by Jewish conspirators. Less than a half-hour later Obama and a film crew arrived at my place by helicopter.  ***

BALLADEER’S BLOG: Let’s start off with a recent development – the Supreme Court vacancy left by Antonin Scalia’s death. You are the ONLY U.S. President who, as a Senator, had voted to filibuster A SUPREME COURT NOMINEE. Given that fact, how do you justify insisting the Senate needs to act quickly on your nominee before you move on to your next criminal enterprise?  

BARACK OBAMA: Most people will never even hear about how hypocritical I am about this. I can count on the Democratic Party’s media outlets to avoid mentioning it and nobody will believe any of the Republican Party outlets when they talk about it.

BB: But even Democrat Chuck Schumer has publicly stated that an outgoing president should NOT get to pick the next Supreme Court nominee. And long ago the Democratic Party had backed a move to avoid considering SCOTUS appointments in an election year. 

BO: Do you really think American morons even know who Chuck Schumer is? Or know about something that happened decades ago? Remember, these are people who get their political views from television shows and celebrities. 

BB: Touche. The media does pretty much become State Run when there’s a Democrat in the White House.

BO: (laughs) Yeah, thankfully the Republicans were so stupid they decided long ago not to spend the money necessary to keep up with us in the media arms race. Anything at all damaging to our side is always confined to the boondocks of Fox News Channel and talk radio. It’s an enormous strategic advantage. 

BB: Speaking of strategy, could you distill the Democratic Party’s political strategy in one sentence?

BO: Sure – “Oppressing people while posing as the oppressed”! Machiavelli himself would envy what we’ve accomplished! (laughs again)

BB: Wow, given your remarkably poor performance in college I’m surprised you know who Machiavell is.

BO: Sure I do. He’s Tupac Shakur. Tupac lives!

BB: Never mind.Do you feel that in the future other political groups will try to emulate the Democratic Party’s success at thoroughly outmaneuvering your opponents at P.R.

BO: They should! Most of our Party’s perceived power comes from our  insurmountable lead in media outlets. The Democratic Party can always rely on the Republicans to be too terrified to do ANYTHING we don’t want them to do because they know every media outlet except Fox and talk radio will crucify them!

Hell, if the Republicans (stifles a laugh) had even HALF the number of outlets we do the peasants would have been calling for my impeachment long ago! As a MINIMUM I never would have gotten reelected, but like I say, it’s good to go up against such imbeciles. Bad news for our side never gets out to the general population and good news for THEIR side never gets out to anybody except people who already agree with them and are tuning in to Fox or One America News or talk radio. 

BB: I’ll bet controlling NPR and PBS is especially effective.

BO: You’re damn right! Through them the racist and oppressive TAXPAYERS foot the bill for much of our Party’s political advertisements disguised as news broadcasts!

BB: Is this media advantage the way you’ve been able to convince so much of the public – especially overseas – to cling to the old paradigm under which the Republicans were the party of bloated rich pigs and Democrats supposedly supported the poor and the working class?

DP: Absolutely! Money follows power and once the “bloated rich pigs” as you call them realized we had more political savvy than the Republicans (laughs again) the contributions increased. Soon WE were the ones getting more Wall Street money than the Republicans even though THEY are still loathed as the “the Party of the Rich!”The RICHEST voting precincts in America voted for me in 2012 but nobody would guess that.

… It works out well for the rich, too. Donate to Republicans like the Koch Brothers do and you’re “evil” billionaires – donate to the Democrats like George Soros and others do and you get lots of publicity about how “socially conscious” you are and similar terms. That media advantage pays dividends in all kinds of ways, even helping your donors get positive publicity!   

BB: Okay, I’ll stipulate going foward that the Democratic Party’s insurmountable media advantage is a huge part of your electoral success. So, assuming that your side gets to spin all of the following issues whichever way you want to most of the population let’s see what your real opinion is on a series of hot-button topics.

BO: Okay.

BB: Illegal immigration.

BO: (laughs) Dammit, young fella, can you name ANY other country in the world with a citizenry SO browbeaten and defeated that they would – ONE – Let MILLIONS of unexamined illegals stream across a border that REMAINS open … TWO – Provide driver’s licenses and in-state tuition for them and their kids … THREE – Allow them to vote by not requiring voter i.d. … FOUR – Fail to deport them after they commit crimes … FIVE – Give ’em free health care and lots of other public assistance and SIX – Continue to bow their heads in shame for even BRINGING UP the fact that those people are here illegally?

BB: No. No I can’t.

DP: You bet you can’t! Those illegal immigrants are the FUTURE of this here country, not the human doormats who were born here! Hitch your wagon to THEM if you want my advice. You’d have to be a fool to think the pussies in this country are worth getting yourself worked up over.

… We Democrats don’t even have to PRETEND to care about working-class people who were born here anymore. With the illegals on our side we’ve got unbeatable numbers and the only issue we ever have to talk about is what nasty bigots Americans are if they don’t want millions of illegals causing working wages to plummet! And our Party’s donations from the wealthy will increase EVEN MORE! 

BB: So is the Democratic Party interested only in its own future, not the future of the country?

BO: What country? Shit, believe you me the Democratic Party is gonna outlive this piece of shit country called the USA and will still be a power in whatever the hell this geopolitical entity is called a hundred years from now.  

BB: Common Core?

BO: A political masterstroke! The opposition’s rank and file were getting too wise to our use of the educational system to browbeat our political opinions into youngsters. Homeschoolers are a particular threat. Common Core helps us nip the uprising in the bud! Common Core math in particular is such a load of nonsense  that even the kids’ parents can’t help them make heads or tails out of it.

… Only the teachers can, which helps insert the teachers in between the kids and their parents. Plus, if we can make Common Core math required to get into college then homeschoolers will have no choice but to turn their kids back over to the secular clergy called American teachers. Their kids’ asses are OURS!

BB: Understood. It’s been interesting spending this time with you.

BO: Glad to do it. I’m annoyed that you lied about being a Muslim family but when you said you might donate a million or so dollars to the Party (wink) I couldn’t pass this up!  

BB: Yeah, about that …  +++

Obviously this was not a real interview with Obama. He’d never be this honest and forthright. 

As always these days many people are so paranoid about information that does not come from a site of their own choosing I’m not bothering with links. Just search online for this info and read for yourself from whatever site you prefer.

FOR A LOOK AT ALLEGEDLY “UNWINNABLE” WARS CLICK HERE:  https://glitternight.com/2014/09/14/unwinnable-wars-muslim-savages-brag-about-beheading-another-non-combatant/

FOR MORE LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES CLICK HERE:    https://glitternight.com/category/liberals-and-conservatives/

© Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Edward Wozniak and Balladeer’s Blog with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. 


Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, opinion, Presidential Rap Sheets


  1. Daniel Silver

    Tupac best rapper of all time (RIP). Obama being best president not so much.

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