Monthly Archives: October 2017

COFFIN JOE HORROR FILMS: HALLOWEEN 2017 DRAWS TO A CLOSE

Coffin JoeHere at Balladeer’s Blog we wring down the curtain on Halloween 2017 by revisiting our old friend Jose “Mojica” Marins, Brazil’s notorious King of Horror.

Marins’ most famous character is Ze do Caixao aka Coffin Joe, a figure who belongs alongside Dracula, Freddy Krueger, La Llorona and other horror icons from around the world.

Noteworthy movies include :

At Midnight I'll Steal Your SoulAt Midnight I’ll Take Your Soul (1963) – Brazil’s first-ever home-grown horror film was also the very first appearance of Coffin Joe, an undertaker who relishes exploiting and mocking the religious beliefs of the community.

The transgressive, hypnotic figure lords it over those he considers to be ignorant peasants and lesser beings. Ze’s reign of terror sees him inflict physical and psychological torture on his victims, including gouging their eyes out with his incredibly long fingernails.

The vile but charismatic monster is searching for a superior woman to mate with while killing off male rivals as well as women who don’t meet his expectations.  

This Night I will possess your corpseThis Night I Will Possess Your Corpse (1967) – In this sequel Coffin Joe is even more powerful and depraved as he subjects Sao Paulo to another reign of terror. Ze is still searching for the perfect woman to bear his child and inflicting all manner of torture on his victims but this time around the viewer is treated to even more of the villain’s bizarre philosophy, which seems to be composed of equal parts Nietzsche and de Sade with a healthy sprinkling of Aleister Crowley tossed in. 

This film is black & white like the original but features the acclaimed color portion featuring a trip to a Hell ruled by Coffin Joe himself.  Continue reading

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ALL HALLOWS (1926): HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

All Hallows CathedralALL HALLOWS (1926) – Written by Walter de la Mare. In recent decades Walter de la Mare’s horror stories have begun to get as much attention as his poetry. This particular tale is about a haunted cathedral but there is also a blatant subtext.

Our narrator has walked for several miles to reach remote All Hallows Cathedral. The once-prominent place has fallen into disrepair and has become so rarely used for religious services that it has become more of a curious tourist attraction than “holy” site.

All Hallows Cathedral 2Appropriately for a horror story our protagonist has arrived as the sun is going down. The odd, perhaps half-crazed Verger (Anglican Church Caretaker)  impatiently  leads the new arrival on a tour of the degenerating interior. Almost like a Halloween Funhouse host the Verger emphasizes the creepy lore about All Hallows.

Nightfall is well along by the time he tells the narrator about the temporary disappearance of the previous chief clergyman, who was later found in a dark corner. The Holy Man was weeping and crazed and never recovered his sanity.     Continue reading

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HALLOWEEN SONG: HOT PATOOTIE – BLESS MY SOUL

Obviously I’m proceeding from the assumption that just about ANY song from The Rocky Horror Picture Show qualifies as a Halloween Song. Here we go:

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NEVER ACCEPT CENSORSHIP

NEVER ACCEPT CENSORSHIP

Sticks and stones

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DEMOCRATS FOR TRUMP’S IRMA HINOJOSA

Latinos for TrumpIrma Hinojosa of Democrats for Trump and Latinos for Trump is yet another member of the real-world League of Extraordinary Women.

She is also one of the most vocal figures when it comes to the way Democrats have alienated so many of us by betraying everything they used to stand for. 

Irma is always in the front lines taking on the fascist animals of Antifa and similar hate groups. She shines at puncturing the pomposity of shallow, uninformed and emotionally unstable celebrities, too.

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ROSAURA (1817): NEGLECTED HORROR

Friedrich FouqueROSAURA (1817) – Written by Friedrich Fouque. Halloween Month 2017 is dying quickly. Here is another neglected story from the late Gothic Horror period. Rosaura has a fairly unique supernatural premise so that alone should have earned it a wider following by now.

No vampires or ghosts or werewolves feature in this tale, but instead a more offbeat kind of supernatural horror. Count von Wildeck packs up his guns and wears his finest clothing for a visit to the castle of Colonel von Haldenbach, whose niece Rosaura he wants to romance.

After an amiable first day of the visit, Count von Wildeck is warned by his host the Colonel to lock himself very securely in his bedroom. The Colonel seems tempted to explain things more clearly to Von Wildeck but is too frightened. Continue reading

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COLLEGE FOOTBALL RESULTS FROM OCTOBER 28th

*** HEADLINES ***

Pittsburg State GorillasNUMBER ONE GETS KNOCKED OFF – Division Two’s PITTSBURG (KS) STATE GORILLAS hosted the top ranked team in the nation – the defending National Champion NORTHWEST MISSOURI STATE BEARCATS. Not only did the Gorillas defeat the Bearcats 20-10, but this loss ended NW Missouri State’s THIRTY-EIGHT game winning streak. Pitt State led 17-7 at Halftime and stayed on top from there to the delight of the crowd at The Jungle.

St Francis (IN)EASY AS ONE, TWO, THREE – Meanwhile in the NAIA the Top Three teams rolled to victory: The (1) UNIVERSITY OF SAINT FRANCIS (IN) COUGARS dismembered the LINDENWOOD UNIVERSITY AT BELLEVILLE LYNX 70-0   ###    The (2) BAKER UNIVERSITY WILDCATS handed a 49-0 loss to the CENTRAL METHODIST EAGLES   ###    And the (3) REINHARDT UNIVERSITY EAGLES (Should be the Rottweilers) hammered the homestanding PIKEVILLE BEARS 44-21. 

HillsdaleHILLSDALE STRONG – The storied HILLSDALE COLLEGE CHARGERS (whose own THIRTY-FOUR game winning streak was just recently topped by NW Missouri) took it on the road yesterday to Philippi, WV to take on the ALDERSON BROADDUS UNIVERSITY BATTLERS. The spectators got treated to an Instant Classic, with the Chargers prevailing by a final score of 37-31.  Continue reading

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THE DARK TOWER

GunslingerThis year’s Dark Tower movie was like promising your audience Interview With The Vampire but instead giving them Vampire Hookers starring John Carradine.

How do you screw this up? The first novel in the series was tailor-made for screen success: Mad Max crossed with a Spaghetti Western in a supernatural/ horror version of a post-apocalypse movie.

The real challenge should have come with adapting the subsequent novels in the series, not The Gunslinger. Anyway, here’s a Halloween Month look at Roland Deschain art to help wash away the bad taste.

gunslinger 2

MORE … Continue reading

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ZOMBIES OF MONTICELLO (2013)

Thomas JeffersonBy reader request here’s my semi-regular Halloween Season blog post Zombies of Monticello, my mock movie review. I first ran this in 2013, but it may not seem as irreverent this year in the wake of the large-scale criticism of Thomas Jefferson.

ZOMBIES OF MONTICELLO (2013) – Halloween month continues at Balladeer’s Blog with this review of cult director Eddie Wozniak’s blood-soaked combination of horror and commentary.

Learn the REAL cause of Thomas Jefferson’s death on July 4th, 1826! On the 50th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence the zombified corpses of all of Jefferson’s dead slaves rise from their graves and besiege him and his extended family in the Jefferson mansion at Monticello!

The pompous hypocrite who penned noble words about freedom and equality while OWNING other human beings tries everything to wipe out the undead legions pressing in on all sides. Continue reading

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HUNGARY SMACKS DOWN ONE PERCENTER CARLOS SLIM AND HIS RIDICULOUS NEW YORK TIMES

Zoltan Kovacs

HUNGARY’S ZOLTAN KOVACS

Balladeer’s Blog is still enjoying the virtual bonfire of the vanities of what we’ll call the previous world. The pompous players of that world are still indignant that so many of us are rejecting their supposed wisdom and moving into the future without them.

 

One percenter and bloated rich pig Carlos Slim has turned the New York Times into a newspaper version of a blustering old coot railing at a changing world. Fewer Americans listen to Carlos’ pretense that unmoderated immigration is the only “decent” thing to do. More and more Europeans have been slapping down the Slimster’s rag when it presumes to lecture THEM on the topic, too.

I love this reply from Hungary’s Zoltan Kovacs to the New York Times rebuking the Upper Class Twits on their editorial board for lecturing Hungary about its immigration policies.

The link is below but first some excerpts: “Admittedly, it’s not easy to grasp this “indisputably difficult problem” from the comforts of Midtown Manhattan, but if we’re going to have a serious conversation about it, we all need to understand some basic facts.

“To begin, let’s get something straight about borders. “A country that is unable to protect its borders,” as Prime Minister Orbán has said, “is no country at all.”

Hungary“The Orbán Government has BUILT A FENCE on the southern border of Hungary because it’s an external border of the European Union’s Schengen Area. It was not simply “to tighten his border,” as they say, but to defend Europe and uphold treaty obligations, which include preventing illegal immigration into the EU.”

(Note from Balladeer: It seems like only yesterday that Europeans used to pile on the U.S. for “daring” to even DISCUSS preventing illegal immigration. The past several years have shown them the consequences of rampant illegal immigration first-hand.)

“We also need to get something straight about what the NYT casually refers to as international law and European values, language that appeals to the ‘limousine liberal’ readership of the Times. There is no international law, no European treaty that gives Brussels the authority to decide on immigration. ”

(Note from Balladeer: That reference to the Left-Wing Archie Bunkers who read the Times no doubt had them huffing and puffing. I can just hear them blustering “Doesn’t this deplorable Hungarian realize how many times we’ve listened to the Arlo Guthrie song Deportee? How DARE he insinuate that we don’t really understand the issues here?” )

Back to the article: Continue reading

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