Tag Archives: Bad Movies

ELVIS MOVIES FOR JANUARY 8th

Mascot new lookJanuary 8th is the combined marking of Elvis Presley’s birthday and the Battle of New Orleans, in which General Andrew Jackson and French Pirate Jean Lafitte defeated the British in the final battle of the War of 1812.

In the past Balladeer’s Blog has observed this date with looks at the musical Rock’N’Roll vs The Redcoats and with an article on the whole Orion/ Elvis situation. This time I’m taking a quick look at some early Elvis movies.

love me tenderLOVE ME TENDER (1956) – Elvis was the latest reason that the saga of the Reno Gang/ Reno Brothers got distorted on the big screen. The need to turn the Reno story into a vehicle for Elvis Presley made this attempt the most unintentionally funny of them all.

Favorite Part: A scene between Elvis, playing Clint Reno, and Richard Egan, playing Vance Reno. Despite the fact that the long-missing Vance was given up for dead and Elvis married his mourning girlfriend in the meantime the Side-Burned One actually asks “What’s troublin’ you, Vance?”  That question has been a catch-phrase for me ever since I first saw this flick on late-night tv.

Favorite Weirdass Song: Let Me  Continue reading

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2020 TEXAS GLADIATORS (1982): MOVIE REVIEW

2020 texas gladiators 22020 TEXAS GLADIATORS (1982) – HAPPY NEW YEAR! Balladeer’s Blog’s Weirdness at the End of the World welcomes in the year 2020 with a look at what Texas will be like in a few months. There are changes coming your way, Texans!

Actually, it’s not really Texas and there are NO gladiators in this film but at least it is now officially 2020!

When reviewing other post-apocalypse movies I’ve often made references to 2020 Texas Gladiators. The fact that I call it my favorite bad post-apocalypse movie has often prompted readers of Balladeer’s Blog to ask why I hadn’t reviewed it yet. The answer was always that I was saving it up for New Year’s Day of 2020.

Just because this is my favorite bad post-apocalypse film does NOT mean I consider it to be the worst one. That designation would be reserved for unwatchable trash like Empire of Ash III and the like.

2020 Texas Gladiators is my favorite bad entry in the genre because of how it defeats itself at every turn, because of its lame attempts to pretend it’s being filmed in America instead of Italy and because of how joyously tasteless it is. Tell the Hekawi tribe from F-Troop to move over! They’ve been replaced as the fakest-looking Native Americans in entertainment history by the post-apocalypse Indians in this flick, portrayed by obvious Italian extras!

Mascot sword and pistolTheir black wigs with built-in headbands are one thing, their less than authentic vests are another thing, their Tonto way of speaking still another, but the POST-APOCALYPSE TEEPEES they live in will bring a smile to the lips of any true fan of really bad exploitation movies. 

Taking things from the top, Al D’Amato directed 2020 Texas Gladiators under one of his countless aliases. For all I know he may have even directed a film using MY name. The following year Warrior of the Lost World, another Italian ripoff of Mad Max, would reuse this movie’s Nazi-esque uniforms and riot shields for the bad guys and many of this flick’s supporting cast. Hell, the largest vehicle in 2020TG even shows up as Mega-Weapon in that same movie.    Continue reading

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MORE CLASSICALLY BAD MOVIES

Balladeer’s Blog takes another look at some very strange movies from the cinematic hinterlands. Enjoy these four to help get over any post-Christmas blues. 

Invasion of the Bee GirlsINVASION OF THE BEE GIRLS (1973) – William “Big Bill” Smith from biker films and the old western series Laredo stars as a government agent investigating the mysterious deaths of scientists working on Top Secret projects.

Turns out a female mad scientist is creating a race of human/queen bee hybrids out of female subjects. These Bee Girls then go forth and slay their male targets by literally “loving” them to death. Continue reading

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MAY OF 2019: THE BEST OF BALLADEER’S BLOG

Balladeer’s Blog’s end of year review continues with this look at May’s Best:

Yellowhair and the Fortress of GoldYELLOWHAIR AND THE FORTRESS OF GOLD (1984) – A review of this movie’s attempt to cross Indiana Jones with Spaghetti Westerns. CLICK HERE

INTERVIEW WITH THE FOOL KILLER – It’s an Interview with the Vampire-style letter from the Fool Killer to Balladeer’s Blog. CLICK HERE and HERE

HOMBRE: SPAIN’S POST-APOCALYPSE HERO FROM THE 1980s – A look at the unjustly overlooked hero from Spain’s adult comic books. Mad Max meets The Walking Dead meets Wolverine in this riveting series. CLICK HERE

FLASHMAN OF ARABIA – Harry Paget Flashman’s adventure on the Arabian Peninsula alongside the famous explorer Richard Burton. CLICK HERE

Medal of Honor picEVEN MORE MEDAL OF HONOR WINNERS FROM THE PHILIPPINE WAR (1899-1902) – Another installment of Medal of Honor winners from a forgotten war. CLICK HERE

TRANSGRESS WITH ME: MAY 3rd – Another journey into transgressive thoughts and ideas. CLICK HERE

FOOL KILLER: MAY INSTALLMENTS – For the O Henry and Joel Chandler Harris takes on the Fool Killer, CLICK HERE . For James L Pearson’s Fool-Killer, CLICK HERE , HERE , HERE , HERE

DEMOCRAT ATROCITY ROUNDUP: MAY 15th – The latest look at the historical and recent outrages from the infamous gang of white-collar criminals. CLICK HERE

All Star 22GOLDEN AGE JUSTICE SOCIETY – Reviews and recommended revisions to the 1940-1945 run of the very first superhero team in history: The Justice Society of America. CLICK HERE 

BALLADEER’S BLOG’S CLASH WITH THE TECHNO-FASCISTS – My own run-in with the zealous censors of Silicon Valley. CLICK HERE

Chancellor ManuscriptTHE CHANCELLOR MANUSCRIPT – My review of the Robert Ludlum novel. CLICK HERE

FOUR NEGLECTED MILITARY UNITS FROM AMERICAN WARS – A Memorial Day tribute to some overlooked units from assorted American wars. CLICK HERE Continue reading

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BEST OF APRIL 2019

Balladeer’s Blog’s end of year review continues:

Chinatown ConnectionCHINATOWN CONNECTION (1990) – A review of one of the most hilariously lame “buddy cop” movies ever made.

Starring Lee Majors’ son. CLICK HERE

FOOL KILLER PART FOUR – The neglected Nineteenth Century folk figure takes on the Ku Klux Klan and political corruption in the Reconstruction South this time around.

The greatest impact comes from the fact that this is from 1870. CLICK HERE 

POLITICIZING THE WORD “INTELLECTUAL” – The title of this particular piece pretty much says it all. CLICK HERE 

Curse of the Crying WomanCURSE OF THE CRYING WOMAN (1961) – My review of this Mexican horror film, just in time for the release of La Llorona. CLICK HERE 

SECRET EMPIRES: HOW THE AMERICAN POLITICAL CLASS HIDES CORRUPTION AND ENRICHES FAMILY AND FRIENDS – Peter Schweizer’s latest book on American political corruption. – CLICK HERE

POLO: THE 2019 U.S. OPEN – Polo is the world’s oldest team sport and had already been around for centuries when Alexander the Great’s men played it. One of the reasons I cover contemporary polo is because of the way men and women can play on the same team. CLICK HERE 

Ellen RipleyAMERICA AS PART OF THE ALIEN FRANCHISE – A humorous look at the similarities. CLICK HERE

SLAUGHTER HIGH (1986) – A review of the April Fool’s Day themed slasher film with horror icon Caroline Munro. CLICK HERE

FACULTY LOUNGE FASCIST ROUNDUP: APRIL 10th – The latest edition. CLICK HERE   Continue reading

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BEST OF FEBRUARY 2019

Balladeer’s Blog’s end-of-year review continues:

Alien Outlaw bigALIEN OUTLAW (1985) – A review of this  vintage B-movie with a butt-kicking heroine. CLICK HERE

KEVIN JACKSON: A MARTIN LUTHER KING PERSON OF COURAGE – A look at yet another courageous iconoclast on the political scene. CLICK HERE

Texas 27 Film Vault

TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT ANNIVERSARY – The 34th anniversary of the first broadcast of the Pre-MST3K show The Texas Twenty-Seven Film Vault. CLICK HERE 

PETER TORK IS DEAD, MISS HIM, MISS HIM – With Peter Tork’s passing in February came this review of the NEW Monkees show from the 1980s – CLICK HERE

FIVE MOST UNQUALIFIED U.S. PRESIDENTS – The title speaks for itself. CLICK HERE

Flash for FreedomFLASH FOR FREEDOM – A review of another of George MacDonald Fraser’s Harry Flashman novels. CLICK HERE 

SIXTEEN OVERLOOKED SECRETARIES OF STATE – No Kissinger, no Hillary, just forgotten figures. CLICK HERE

BLACK PANTHER: THE FIRST KILLMONGER STORY (1973-1975) – CLICK HERE Continue reading

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VIV SMACKS DOWN TERMINATOR: DARK FATE

terminator dark fateTerminator: Dark Fate is – as of this writing – on course to lose 120 million dollars due to its lackluster performance. (UPDATE: The projected loss has now been increased to 130 million dollars)

That lackluster performance is due to its many failings – chief among those the killing-off of John Connor in the first few minutes of the movie.

Reviewer Viv of Hey Viv fame passionately and brilliantly dismembered this pathetic excuse for filmmaking. Enjoy her review below and be sure to subscribe to her  HERE

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