COLLISION COURSE (1989) – Yes, it’s Pat Morita and Jay Leno as reluctant investigative partners. For starters, I owe an apology to Chinatown Connection (1990), which I previously called the worst Two-Race Buddy Cop film I’d ever seen. In that flick Lee Majors the Second and Bruce Ly play the mismatched cops who have to work together to bring down some bad guys.
Collision Course and Chinatown Connection may have the same initials, but the former is actually a worse movie, as hard as that is to believe. Collision Course went through three different directors on its way to cinematic infamy.
Despite this Pat Morita-Jay Leno joint having a bigger budget and a supporting cast made up of real actors (Chris Sarandon, Al Waxman, Soon-Tek Oh and others), this production sucks like a Hoover vacuum. Not even some 80s street cred in the form of Randall “Tex” Cobb could save Collision Course, which was recognized as such a bomb that it didn’t get released – on video, at that – until 1992. And even then it was done solely to exploit Leno taking over The Tonight Show from Johnny Carson.
Mr. Miyagi and Pelican Head’s attempt to make the next 48 Hours or Lethal Weapon or Running Scared is set in Detroit, where an engineer from Japan named Oshima has come to sell a newly developed turbo charger to a struggling new car company run by Derek Jarryd (Dennis Holahan). Continue reading
SATEENA, THE DEVIL’S DAUGHTER hosted horror and sci-fi movies on Shock Show, which aired on Atlanta’s WSB-TV from January 2nd to December 18th, 1958. This devilishly mischievous hostess was played by Joanne Good aka Joanne Goode aka Joanne Gould. Unlike the usual Movie Hostesses whose characters were vampires or witches, Sateena was the impish daughter of Satan himself. 
MACABRA – This hostess of Omaha’s Theatre of the Macabre (1982-1985) has accomplished the seemingly impossible – she has managed to keep her real name a secret all these decades! She was an Omaha businesswoman who beat out over 150 other applicants for the position of WOWT’s Movie Hostess for their new Friday night at 10:30pm Bad Movie show. 
On top of that, Macabra rejected the over-the-top humor that characterized Elvira and her cash-in imitators in favor of a wry, understated approach that put me in mind of a combination of Movie Host legends like Moona Lisa and Fritz the Nite Owl. For an airing of Attack of the Mushroom People (1963) this hostess munched on mushrooms completely deadpan rather than hit the viewers over the head with the joke. 
DR. LUCIFER (1957-1959) – The actor playing this Movie Host was named Richard Dix, but to be clear he’s NOT the same Richard Dix who starred in old westerns and was jokingly mentioned in Blazing Saddles. This Richard Dix was a legend in Baltimore, MD for his stage and television work with a few movies thrown in. 
THE BRAIN (1962) – Freddie Francis directed this black & white film, which was the third movie adaptation of Curt Siodmak’s science fiction novel Donovan’s Brain. The characters’ names were changed and the sci fi elements were mixed with detective story elements this time around. 
Corrie and Shears discover that Max Holt is the only one of the airplane passengers still clinging to life, but just barely, and has no hope of survival. Corrie browbeats Shears into helping him get Holt’s body back to their lab, where they remove his brain to see how long they can keep it alive in one of their fish aquarium containers filled with life-preserving fluids and equipment.
ATTACK OF THE BEAST CREATURES (1983)- Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9-sized cult following. 
THE UNCLE GODDAMN MOVIES – Over the years, several people have asked me if there are any weird films that I won’t review. Believe it or not, there are. First would be the decades-old version of A Christmas Carol performed by a class of mentally challenged students. 
Over time, that film became one of the products sold by the now-defunct mail order site called Blackest Heart Video. So far, it has been the only version of A Christmas Carol that I’ve neither bought nor reviewed. 
SCARTICIA – From 1971 to 1975 Annette Stutzman starred as the witch Scarticia, hostess of Horrible Movie late Saturday nights on WAPT-TV in Jackson, MS. Stutzman also worked as the personal secretary of the station manager. 
Soon, Jackson, MS teens and 20-somethings began holding Horrible Movie viewing parties on Saturday nights. Inevitably, hundreds of fan letters began pouring in every week. 
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