Tag Archives: movie reviews

HARD CUT: RECOMMENDED MOVIE REVIEW CHANNEL ON YOUTUBE

Balladeer’s Blog takes a look at another YouTube movie review channel. This one is called Hard Cut Reviews. I haven’t been this enthusiastic about a YT channel since Red Letter Media when I covered them way back in the early years of 2010 and 2011.

Hard Cut‘s hosts Bobby and Matt post videos in which they do in-depth discussions of new releases, old classics and high-budget bombs from recent decades. Matt and Bobby themselves describe their content as “Based movie reviews” so picture a blend of Red Letter Media film review shows crossed with Critical Drinker but with much fresher takes that are like a happy medium between the two approaches. Continue reading

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BLINDMAN (1971) – HAPPY BIRTHDAY, RINGO STARR

BLINDMAN (1971) – Richard Starkey aka Ringo Starr turns 86 years old today. In his younger years he was affiliated with some musical group, but REAL Ringo fans know him as a Master Thespian who appeared in plenty of memorable movies.

We loved him as Ognir Rrats in his Prince and the Pauper adaptation titled Ringo, as one of Mae West’s ex-husbands in Sextette, as the adopted son of Peter Sellers in The Magic Christian and so on and so forth. For today I’m taking a look at his villainous turn in the Spaghetti Western Blindman

Okay, let’s get serious now.

This intentionally bizarre film stars and was co-written by Tony Anthony, known for many Spaghetti Westerns including the Stranger series. Years before Tony’s 1975 flick Get Mean, his Italo-Western that threw in Vikings, Moors, Gondoliers and other anachronisms, came this oddity. Continue reading

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JOHN PAUL JONES (1959) MOVIE REVIEW

With the 4th of July fast approaching, here’s another item for America’s 250th birthday – a biopic of our nation’s early naval hero.

JOHN PAUL JONES (1959) – Robert Stack stars as the title character, Charles Coburn plays Benjamin Franklin, Bette Davis is Empress Catherine the Great of Russia, Macdonald Carey is Patrick Henry and Thomas Gomez portrays Commodore Esek Hopkins. On a scale of 1 to 10 I would rate John Paul Jones a 6. I wish it could be higher.

This movie looks good enough, but Stack’s performance is a bit too dry and the story rambles on for too long after the logical end point when the Revolutionary War is over. Some brief closing text could have covered John Paul Jones’s career in the Russian Navy from 1787 onward. Just a quick note acknowledging the damage he wrought to the Turkish Navy on Russia’s behalf and bring on the closing credits. 

The film also subjects us to far too much of Jones’s younger years as a sailor and Robert Stack’s Forever 31 face at the time is comically distracting. (I Was a Teenage Thirtysomething) I wish more biopics used the terrific approach of Patton (1970) – focus on the most eventful years of the main character’s life with dialogue filling viewers in on their early life.  Continue reading

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DISCLOSURE DAY (2026) – A CHILD’S INTRODUCTION TO UFO AND ALIEN CONSPIRACIES

DISCLOSURE DAY (2026) – Did Steven Spielberg forget what he accomplished with the ending of Close Encounters of the Third Kind? How does he think that an elderly alien getting brought out in a wheelchair even compares, let alone equals, the wonder of his earlier film? Maybe if Disclosure Day ended with Richard Dreyfus’s character having returned to Earth and standing there beside the alien, he might have had something noteworthy.   

Did Steven Spielberg forget that long before he condescendingly acted like his aliens/ Jesus angle would shock people that Ridley Scott already pursued such concepts in Prometheus? Or that even by then it had already become a trope after movies like Aliens from Spaceship Earth, God Told Me To and others.

Long time Balladeer’s Blog readers may recall that I’ve already reviewed science fiction stories from the 1800s that dealt with the Jesus/ aliens concept. Why did Spielberg think he was serving up anything that would – as he boasted – make Christians question their faith? 

Television shows from The Invaders and U.F.O. to The X-Files and dozens since have worn out all of the material that Spielberg deluded himself into thinking he was pioneering in this movie. His own 2002 television miniseries Taken reworked all those cliches long before this year’s Disclosure Day Continue reading

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SWASHBUCKLER MOVIES OF DALE ROBERTSON

Though mostly associated with westerns, Dale Robertson managed to squeeze in a couple of swashbuckler films during his Hollywood career.

SON OF SINBAD (1955) – Dale Robertson stars as Sinbad II, son of the original hero of the seven seas.  Vincent Price plays his sidekick, the poet Omar Khayyam, so if anachronisms bother you, stay far away from this movie, because there are plenty more on the way. But Price steals the flick!

When Sinbad is in Baghdad between his adventures he sneaks into the Khalif’s palace to seduce a few harem girls or dancers. This time though, he makes the mistake of exercising his charms on one of the Khalif’s wives, Nerrissa (Lili St. Cyr). Sinbad and his wing-man Omar wind up imprisoned by the angry Khalif (Leon Askin) to await execution.

Also in the ruler of Baghdad’s clutches are the Greek Simon Aristides and his daughter Kristina (Mari Blanchard). Simon knows the secret of Greek Fire (which we in the modern world have still not been able to duplicate), and when Tamerlane and his Mongol armies draw near intent on conquering Baghdad, Simon demonstrates Greek Fire to the Khalif, who wants to use it to drive off the Mongols.

Traitors kill Simon and make off with Kristina, who alone holds the secrets of Greek Fire now. The Khalif agrees to set Sinbad and Omar loose to find and return with Kristina. Assorted action scenes follow, and ultimately the Son of Sinbad joins forces with the Daughters of the Forty Thieves – beautiful women warriors who rob caravans and the like.

After much action, Sinbad, Omar and the Forty Daughters return to Baghdad with Kristina and use Greek Fire to help themselves defeat the invading Mongols. Sinbad marries Ameer (Sally Forrest), Omar marries Kristina and our title character is made the new chief of the Khalif’s Royal Guards, consisting of the Forty Fabulous Femmes. Watch for Kim Novak as one of the Forty! 91 minutes. Continue reading

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HAPPY NATIONAL VCR DAY 2026!

We pause in memory of the many Blockbuster Video store owners who fell on the beaches of – Oh, wait! I’m a day behind! As usual for National VCR Day, here’s a look at several VHS movies that I’ll probably never find the time to write full-length reviews about.

CAR CRASH (1981) – Travolta … Joey Travolta. Yes, it’s Barbarino’s older brother in this Italian-Spanish coproduction. Ever wonder what the Fast and Furious franchise would be like if Frank Stallone was the overall star? This movie provides the answer – sped up footage to (unsuccessfully) lend the illusion of speed, and model cars just one step above Hot Wheels toys passing for the race cars much of the time!

Travolta stars as the fast and fatuous driver Paul Little. He wins a race, infuriating the crime boss who rigged the event to let his own driver win. Paul then faces the gangster, his men and several other competitors in a race called the Imperial Crash. With Johnny Carson’s frequent 1980s joke Ana Obregon. Continue reading

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BAD MOVIE REVIEW: D-DAY ON MARS (1945, 1966)

D-DAY ON MARS (1945, 1966) – Obviously, the Sixth of June marks the solemn remembrance of World War Two’s Normandy Invasion, but I did my annual salute recently. For today I’m reviewing D-Day on Mars, the edited down feature film version of the 1945 serial The Purple Monster Strikes.

During the 1960s, various studios truncated their old 1940s and 1950s movie serials down into feature film length and released them on television. For instance, the Commando Cody serial Radar Men from the Moon was edited down into the telefilm Retik the Moon Menace and Zombies of the Stratosphere was edited down into Satan’s Satellites.

In 1966 D-Day on Mars was broadcast as a very, very shortened version of The Purple Monster Strikes.

THE MOVIE: Continue reading

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COLLISION COURSE (1989) – PAT MORITA AND JAY LENO IN A BUDDY COP MOVIE?

COLLISION COURSE (1989) – Yes, it’s Pat Morita and Jay Leno as reluctant investigative partners. For starters, I owe an apology to Chinatown Connection (1990), which I previously called the worst Two-Race Buddy Cop film I’d ever seen. In that flick Lee Majors the Second and Bruce Ly play the mismatched cops who have to work together to bring down some bad guys.

Collision Course and Chinatown Connection may have the same initials, but the former is actually a worse movie, as hard as that is to believe. Collision Course went through three different directors on its way to cinematic infamy.

Despite this Pat Morita-Jay Leno joint having a bigger budget and a supporting cast made up of real actors (Chris Sarandon, Al Waxman, Soon-Tek Oh and others), this production sucks like a Hoover vacuum. Not even some 80s street cred in the form of Randall “Tex” Cobb could save Collision Course, which was recognized as such a bomb that it didn’t get released – on video, at that – until 1992. And even then it was done solely to exploit Leno taking over The Tonight Show from Johnny Carson.

Mr. Miyagi and Pelican Head’s attempt to make the next 48 Hours or Lethal Weapon or Running Scared is set in Detroit, where an engineer from Japan named Oshima has come to sell a newly developed turbo charger to a struggling new car company run by Derek Jarryd (Dennis Holahan). Continue reading

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RICHARD TODD’S SWASHBUCKLER MOVIES

Richard Todd enjoyed a long career during which he played nearly every type of role imaginable. Among those were a few swashbucklers.

ROB ROY: THE HIGHLAND ROGUE (1953) – Accurate history has no place in this Disney film in which Richard Todd stars as Scottish Clan leader and legendary outlaw Rob Roy MacGregor. The film begins in 1715 as Clan MacGregor is among the Scottish forces fighting against King George the First of England in the Jacobite Uprising.

The Duke of Argyll (James Robertson Justice) leads troops loyal to the king and defeats the rebellious clans despite his grudging admiration for them, especially Rob Roy MacGregor. By 1717, Argyll’s rival the Duke of Montrose is placed in charge of the Scottish Highlands and is much harsher than the Duke of Argyll was.

Montrose pardons all the Jacobite Clans except the MacGregors, who are forbidden to even use their surname, hence their leader being renowned as simply Rob Roy. Our hero is imprisoned by Montrose but escapes and leads his kinsmen and loyalists in rustling Montrose’s cattle and looting his estates.   

And so the film goes, with the Duke of Montrose used as a Prince John in Robin Hood figure and his underling Killearn serving as a Sheriff of Nottingham type. Rob Roy and his men thwart the bad guys at every turn, and ultimately the Duke of Argyll arranges a truce between Rob Roy’s clan and the king.

Glynis Johns co-stars as Rob’s wife Helen Mary MacGregor with Michael Gough portraying the villainous Montrose. 81 minutes. Continue reading

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THE SWASHBUCKLER MOVIES OF PAUL HENREID

Paul Henreid, perhaps best known as Victor Laszlo in Casablanca, also starred in a few swashbuckler films in the 1940s and 1950s.

THE SPANISH MAIN (1945) – In the 1600s, Dutch Captain Laurent van Horn (Paul Henreid) is using his ship to transport refugees from the current war in Holland to safety in the Carolina Colonies. Storms and other misfortunes cause the ship to go wildly off course, ultimately wrecking near Cartagena. Spanish Colonial Governor Don Juan Alvarado (Walter Slezak) imprisons Laurent and his crew, sentencing them to hang.

Captain van Horn leads his men in escaping the prison and stealing a ship they rechristen the Barracuda. Over the next five years they thrive as pirates preying on Spanish shipping and thumbing their noses at villainous Governor Alvarado every chance they get.

One day they seize the Spanish Galleon taking Contessa Francesca (Maureen O’Hara) to Cartagena to marry Alvarado. Feisty Francesca impresses Laurent with her spirit and her beauty, so when she offers him her hand in marriage if he spares the lives of her escorts he gladly accepts.

Captain van Horn and his crew take the Contessa to the port where the Barracuda and other pirate vessels hide out. A very inaccurate rendition of pirate Anne Bonny (Binnie Barnes) is jealous that Francesca has taken her man Laurent. She joins forces with pirate captains who resent van Horn’s leadership to deliver Francesca to Alvarado.

The bad guys and gals also capture Laurent and offer to turn him over to Alvarado for a big payday. Naturally, the pirate captain and the Contessa manage to defeat the villains and cement their romance. 100 minutes.  Continue reading

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