Tag Archives: humor

FIFTEEN MORE FAILED PREDICTIONS

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BALLADEER’S BLOG

Balladeer’s Blog has previously examined failed predictions on the part of “psychics,” religious figures and more. This time around here is a list of failed predictions from another belief system with its own form of apocalyptic eschatology.

*** By the year 2000 New York City will be completely submerged by rising sea levels. The sources of that prediction are legion. 

*** By the year 2020 there will be no more snow on Mount Kilimanjaro because of climate change. That was from Al Gore’s Reefer Madness-style Dire Warning flick An Inconvenient Truth plus the Vancouver Sun and others. 

*** In 2004 the Guardian predicted that nuclear and conventional wars would break out by 2020 because of scarce resources. They also predicted that multiple European cities would be under water by 2020. 

*** In 2009, authorities from the U.S. Geological Survey predicted that by 2020 Montana’s Glacier National Park would have no more glaciers. Last year a scramble began to push that date further ahead since obviously 2020 was going to come and go without that prediction coming true. Continue reading

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Filed under humor, opinion

FRIDAY THE 13th PART 3D (1982): ON THE TEXAS TWENTY-SEVEN FILM VAULT

Friday the 13th Part 3DBefore MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault! In the middle 1980s, way down on Level 31 Randy Clower and Richard Malmos, machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class hosted this neglected cult show. 

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Saturday February 14th, 1987 from 10:30pm to 1:00am. 

SERIAL: None. The movie, Film Vault Corps comedy sketches and commercials filled up the entire two and a half hours this time.

FILM VAULT LORE: This episode marked the second time The Texas 27 Film Vault came with a warning about violent content. It was also at least the second time they riffed on a movie that was originally in 3-D. Randy and Richard did various jokes about wearing 3-D glasses and 3-D effects coming out of the screen at them as they watched the movie.

Randy and Richard firing their machine guns at giant rats, cellumites and other subterranean creatures.

Randy and Richard firing their machine guns on the T27FV 3D poster.

When you throw in the previous year’s “Mock 3D” interview with Ben Johnson and the 1987 release of The Texas 27 Film Vault‘s official 3-D poster you could say Randy, Richard, Ken “Tex” Miller, Joe Riley and Laurie Savino had a definite fondness for taking shots at the whole 3-D concept.  

 FOR A LOOK AT THE 3-D TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT POSTER (courtesy of Randy Clower) –https://glitternight.com/2013/03/18/movie-hosts-the-texas-27-film-vault-poster/  

THE MOVIE: Friday the 13th Part 3-D was the most notoriously lame sequel in the Friday the 13th film series during the 1980s. Not only was it part of the laughable 1980s attempt to revive the 3-D craze of the 1950s but it’s also infamous for its DISCO VERSION of the iconic Friday the 13th theme. However it’s essential viewing for horror fans because it was the first time Jason Voorhees put on the hockey mask that is so closely associated with the character.    Continue reading

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Filed under Bad and weird movies, humor, Movie Hosts

TOP FIVE MARX BROTHERS MOVIES

Balladeer’s Blog’s usual “waiting for results to something” mode is to watch a comedy marathon. Let’s go for a vintage feel this time with a look at my Top Five Marx Brothers Movies.

cocoanuts5. THE COCOANUTS (1929) – The Plot (As if it mattered) – A hotel manager (Groucho) plots a real estate swindle during the Florida land boom while a jewel theft on the premises attracts unwanted attention from the law. Chico and Harpo sow all manner of confusion while Margaret Dumont and Zeppo are on hand in their familiar and comfortable straight roles.

Comment: Already I can hear the screams from Marx Brothers fans. How DARE I relegate to FIFTH place a movie based on the brothers’ Broadway hit written by THE George S Kaufman and Morrie Ryskind! 

Easy. No matter how good the play was The Cocoanuts movie suffers from too many of the typical weaknesses of early talkies. The tinny sound, plus the way the maps, telegrams and newspapers handled by the characters are obviously water-logged to keep the crackling from being picked up on the late 1920s sound equipment.

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BALLADEER’S BLOG

And most importantly the inclusion of pointless music and dance numbers in the “hey, we have sound now, so let’s REALLY show it off” spirit of early talkies. The hopelessly dull romantic couple slow things down, too.

I find myself fast-forwarding through this flick more than any other Marx Brothers movie. Even The Big Store. We need a Fan Edit of this flick including ONLY the comedy routines, which I agree are all classics. “Did anyone ever tell you you look like the Prince of Wales?” Continue reading

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HILARIOUS PARODY AD FOR THE UNHINGED DEMOCRATS

We need Third Parties. Election day is here but the increasingly fascistic Democrats – who still haven’t come to grips with their 2016 loss – have vowed to litigate the election rather than leave it to the voters, so who knows when we’ll have a final result. For right now here is a hilarious parody ad pointing out what the Democrats are REALLY all about in 2020. 

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

FUNNY VIDEO: WEEKEND AT BIDEN’S

If you liked Weekend at Bernie’s you’ll love this mock trailer for a sequel with Joe Biden as the title husk. Techno-Fascists at Twitter, Facebook, etc keep trying to ban it, which makes it even MORE enjoyable! 

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

STEPHEN KING AND DONALD TRUMP LINKS

mascot donkey and republican headsWhile Senile Joe Biden hides away til Thursday night and tries to remember that he’s NOT running for the Senate (he’d be “the Senator from Burisma”) and while the Techno-Fascists who run Google and its ilk have been deservedly slapped with a huge antitrust suit, let’s combine Halloween Month with a few news items:

Stephen King white privileged one percenterStephen King, looking nothing at all like a child molester who creepily hangs around children’s playgrounds, will be the mascot.

PUERTO RICO GOVERNOR ENDORSES TRUMP 

BLACK BUSINESSMAN TRUSTS TRUMP OVER BIDEN ON THE ECONOMY, SAYS “I HAVEN’T HEARD ANYTHING COHERENT FROM BIDEN” .

OREGON DEMOCRAT COMMUNICATIONS DIRECTOR ARRESTED AFTER LITERALLY PULLING A KNIFE ON “WOMEN FOR TRUMP” . (Democrats are fascists.) 

Stephen King privileged white one percenterDEMOCRATS GETTING MORE OPEN ABOUT THEIR PLANS FOR POST-ELECTION CHAOS FROM VOTE FRAUD, ETC

EVEN AXIOS ADMITS THAT THE CORRUPT JOE BIDEN GETS TREATED WITH KID GLOVES BY THE DEMOCRAT MEDIA OUTLETS .

PENNSYLVANIA MAIL-IN BALLOTS FOR TRUMP FOUND DESTROYED AS DEMOCRAT VOTE FRAUD EFFORTS CONTINUE .

MORE LOOKS AT VOTE FRAUD . AFFIDAVITS HERE . MORE .

Stephen King needs to check his privilegeHEROIC BLACK PASSENGER WEARING “BLACK VOICES FOR TRUMP” HAT EJECTED FROM PLANE FOR TRUMPED-UP REASON

JOY VILLA ON DEALING WITH DEMOCRAT ASSAULTS ON BLACK TRUMP SUPPORTERS

TRANS TRUMP SUPPORTER SPEAKS OUT ON ANTIFA’S DIRTY TACTICS . Continue reading

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Filed under Halloween Season, humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

DEMOCRAT SLOGANS

mascot sword and gun picSome mock Democrat slogans for 2020:

DEMOCRATS: YOU PEASANTS ARE ONLY AS FREE AS THE MOST INTOLERANT DEMOCRAT LETS YOU BE!

DEMOCRATS: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF SIMPLE-MINDED FASCISTS IN LARGE NUMBERS!

DEMOCRATS: THIS DREADFUL DONALD TRUMP PERSON HAS FILLED THE WORKING CLASS RABBLE WITH THOUGHTS ABOVE THEIR STATION IN LIFE!

DEMOCRATS: THE CAMPAIGN NEVER ENDS … AND NEITHER WILL OUR DISCOVERY OF BOXES FULL OF “UNCOUNTED” VOTES! 

DEMOCRATS: ALL OF OUR OPINIONS SHOULD CARRY THE FORCE OF LAW!

Mascot donkey and elephant heads picDEMOCRATS: WE OVERUSED THE WORD “RACIST” TO THE POINT OF MEANINGLESSNESS. NOW WE’RE DOING THE SAME WITH “WHITE SUPREMACIST.”

DEMOCRATS: WE ARE THE FASCISTS WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR!

DEMOCRATS: IF THE COUNTRY IS SPLIT ALMOST 50-50 THAT MEANS THAT ONLY THE PEOPLE WHO DISAGREE WITH US ARE BEING “DIVISIVE” … NEVER US!

DEMOCRATS: WE RUINED LIBERALISM! WE RUINED THE EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM! WE RUINED THE COURT SYSTEM AND UNDERMINED THE ELECTORAL PROCESS ITSELF! PLEASE DON’T STOP US NOW!

Stop Democrat ViolenceDEMOCRATS: IT’S EASIER TO JUST CONSTANTLY TELL EVERYONE HOW COMPASSIONATE AND TOLERANT YOU THINK YOU ARE THAN IT IS TO ACTUALLY BE COMPASSIONATE AND TOLERANT!

ONLY THOSE PEOPLE OF COLOR WHO AGREE WITH US WHITE DEMOCRATS ARE AUTHENTIC. THE REST MUST BE HOUNDED FROM PUBLIC LIFE OR RECANT.

DEMOCRATS: FILING COMPLAINTS ABOUT PEOPLE WHO SAY SOMETHING WE DISAGREE WITH IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF ACTIVISM!

Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

CALLIPIDES (C 400 B.C.), THE ANCIENT GREEK COMEDY

Annoy your friends with your pretentiousness: refer to shows like I Love Lucy and Make Room for Daddy as "Parathespian Comedies."

Annoy your friends with your pretentiousness: refer to shows like I Love Lucy and Make Room for Daddy as “Parathespian Comedies.”

Balladeer’s Blog presents another examination of an ancient Greek comedy. Callippides was written by the comedian Strattis and falls into that comic poet’s specialized area: Parathespian Comedies.

Another fun element of our shared humanity with the ancient Athenians who flocked to attend these plays is the fact that even 2,400 years ago audiences were fascinated and entertained by the trappings of “showbiz”. “Parathespian Comedies” were just one of the many sub-genres of ancient Greek comedy but Strattis is the writer most associated with them … by me and the .000001 percent of the population who are into such things.

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BALLADEER’S BLOG

Yes, a few thousand years before I Love Lucy, The Dick Van Dyke Show, Seinfeld and other such sitcoms the spectators at the Theatre of Dionysus were laughing at comedies depicting what it was like to be one of the performing, writing and singing stars of the Athenian stage. The Parathespian Comedies sometimes featured fictional stars as the characters but would also depict real-life figures of the stage in stories that were either wholly fictional or based on backstage gossip of the time.  

Callippides was based on the real-life actor and megastar of ancient Greek tragedies. In this particular case Strattis presented a very unflattering comedic poke at Callippides, making jokes that depicted him as a William Shatner-esque ham instead of the accomplished thespian he was often hailed as.   Continue reading

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Filed under Ancient Greek Comedy, humor

AMERICA: PART OF THE “ALIEN” FRANCHISE

Mascot new lookIt’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these blog posts here at Balladeer’s Blog.

“We’re a world of 7 billion people, 10 billion blogs and 20 billion political poses” is always the opening line. So let’s have some fun framing American politics as part of the Alien franchise.

Ellen RipleyRIPLEY and the other humans in the Alien films are American VOTERS. As we struggle to survive in this dangerous setting we need to stand together against the common threats. And that applies whether a voter considers themselves Independent or Democrat or Republican. Political labels have become meaningless for US as the Neo-Feudalists view all of us as peasants and cannon fodder, anyway.  

Alien XenomorphTHE XENOMORPHS are the DEMOCRAT office holders and their fellow members of the Hive Mind: the corporate media, “teachers” (LMAO), entertainers, SJWs and anyone else who plays along with the Democrat approach of taking offense at everything and filing complaints until only other Democrats work in your field. And Democrat power-holders and “activists” (LMAO) have no traces of individuality, just like the Xenomorphs. No personality, no independent thought and certainly no personal strength. Their numbers and unquestioning obedience are their fascistic advantage.

Carter BurkeWEYLAND-YUTANI CORPORATION are the Republican office holders and bloated rich pigs who care only about profit, potential profit and possible “sacrificed profits” if they don’t exploit every single situation for every dime that can be extracted from it. BURKE in particular represents Republican trash like the Bush Family, Paul Ryan, Mitt Romney, the stuffy white guys at National Review, etc. The Xenomorphs could be stopped if the Republican money-grubbers would forget the bottom line for once and stand with human beings. This will never happen. They will sell us out every time if it adds just one dollar to their bank balance.   Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, opinion

JOE BIDEN: STILL LYING AND STEALING AFTER ALL THESE YEARS

Joe Biden is creepyLaughing at Joe Biden is ALWAYS the best medicine! Here’s a little levity to end the weekend. Now, I know compared to Joe Biden’s sleazy trail of modern-day lies and corruption plus running a crime family guilty of influence peddling, his plagiarism scandals and ridiculous lies about his academic qualifications may seem trivial. But they’re STILL funny! See below.

And please note how much more professional and honest the news people were back then, not giving Biden a pass just because he’s a Democrat. People back then at least tried to be actual journalists. 

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Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion