Tag Archives: humor

FANTASTIC FILMS TO SHOCK HOLLYWOOD

Hollywoodland

Hollywoodland

Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only site on the web that is truly non-partisan in its criticism of Liberals and Conservatives.

As I have often pointed out in the past there are no such things as right and wrong, there are simply things that a culture finds acceptable and things that a culture frowns upon. Six decades ago Hollywood films conformed to the tired Conservative cliches of Eisenhower’s America and earlier years. Today Hollywood films conform to the tired Liberal cliches of the Political Correctness Police.

As always fringe filmmaking is where the courageous storytelling is to be found. The gutless, pandering Hollywood studios all make cookie- cutter movies lacking any sort of diversity in their worldview. Long ago it was uniformly mindless Conservative films being churned out by the dozens. In recent decades it’s been uniformly mindless Liberal films being churned out by the dozens. So let’s proceed with this light- hearted look at movies no Hollywood studio would touch today.

Crimson ImamNot Coming Soon – THE CRIMSON IMAM – A heroic Muslim woman dons a red costume and mask, then takes to the streets of her Muslim community punishing men who physically abuse women in the name of the outdated dictates of their religion.

Calling herself the Crimson Imam she becomes a nationwide role model and inspires a large-scale feminist movement within Islam. Eventually women and gay people are embraced by Islam, with female clergy and gay marriages commonplace and with abortion rights a new Muslim priority.

What You’d See Instead – THE CRIMSON NUN – A heroic Christian woman dons a red habit and mask, then takes to the streets of her Christian community punishing priests who molest children and Continue reading

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Filed under Fantastic Movie Reviews, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

KIRSTEN DUNST TURNS JAPANESE

Mascot FOUR original pics

Balladeer’s Blog

“What an eccentric performance” as they said in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Forget William Shatner singing Rocket Man, hell, you can even forget Tim Robbins singing Rocket Man. And say goodbye to those twisted nightmares you had about Elton John playing Captain Kirk with Tim Robbins as Spock. 

 No, this is more like if Morgan Freeman sang Like A Virgin or Linda Hunt performed One Night in Bangkok. It’s the thoroughly bizarre – yet oddly arousing – music video of Kirsten Dunst singing the Vapors’ hit song Turning Japanese … while wearing a blue wig. 

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Filed under Bad and weird movies

MARIKAS (421 B.C.) – ANCIENT GREEK COMEDY

EupolisBalladeer’s Blog presents another look at an ancient Greek Comedy. This time around it’s one written by Eupolis who – along with Aristophanes and Cratinus – was one of the Big Three of Attic Old Comedy.

MARIKAS (c 421 B.C.) – This was the second comedy to emerge in the new subgenre of Attic Old Comedy called “the Demagogue Comedy”. Aristophanes led the way a few years earlier with The Knights, his comedy attacking the politician Cleon. The play Marikas finds Eupolis attacking the demagogue Hyperbolus, whose reputation for character assassination by way of overstatement lives on in our language by way of the word “hyperbole”.  

As with most ancient Greek comedies Marikas has survived only in fragmentary form. Those fragments, along with contemporary references in surviving works, provide what is known about the play. Marikas, the title character, was used by Eupolis to represent the politician Hyperbolus the same way Aristophanes had used the Paphlagonian to represent Cleon in The Knights.

The ancient Greek comedies made a point of breaking the fourth wall on a regular basis (despite the way so many people have convinced themselves that that is a “postmodern” development) and Marikas opened up with a character assuring the audience that the play they were about to see was NOT just a rehashing of The Knights. Continue reading

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TITLES FOR A HILLARY CLINTON BIOPIC

hillary-clinton-singing

. … … “Hey, big SPEN-DERRRRRR!” … … .

You have got to love the HILARIOUS news about the way bribes funneled to career criminal Hillary Clinton via her fake charity are drying up completely now that she was defeated in her attempt to steal the presidency.

What better time to ponder possible titles for the inevitable exercise in hagiography that Hillary’s clueless and uninformed Hollywood worshippers will no doubt concoct?

SHOW ME THE MONEY!

NO WAY’S HONEST: THE LIFE OF HILLARY CLINTON

HAVE PANTSUIT, WILL PANDER

HILLARY CLINTON: THE PRESIDENT OF CALIFORNIA (… WELL, AT LEAST THE PRESIDENT OF CALIFORNIA’S ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT VOTERS)

WEALTHY WHITE WOMAN: HILLARY CLINTON’S STRUGGLE TO OVERCOME OPPRESSION
Continue reading

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CASABLANCA CAPTIONING

FINALLY, ON THE 87TH TAKE, EVERYTHING SEEMED PERFECT ... UNTIL HENRI SUFFERED AN UNFORTUNATE ERUPTION OF FLATULENCE.FINALLY, ON THE 87TH TAKE, EVERYTHING SEEMED PERFECT … UNTIL HENRI SUFFERED AN UNFORTUNATE ERUPTION OF FLATULENCE.

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THE WORLD’S A STAGE (2014)

Would ALEC BALDWIN find the plot of this movie a little too close to reality?

Would one percenter ALEC BALDWIN find the plot of this movie a little too close to reality?

The World’s A Stage (2014 – Glitternight productions) – This independent film, though set here in the 21st Century, is reminiscent of ancient Greek political satires like the ones penned by Aristophanes, Eupolis and Cratinus as well as the parathespian comedies of Strattis.

A traveling troupe of actors visit an unnamed town and are a huge hit in a play dramatizing the heroics of a group of honest politicians. The citizens are bowled over by their performances and elect the men and women of the theatre troupe to actually govern their town.

Naturally the shallow and vain thespians are in way over their heads when it comes to dealing with real-world responsibilities and problems. Their egotistical need for applause and approval also makes them unfit for office, especially when it comes to Continue reading

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ELVIS PRESLEY: ROCK’N’ROLL VS THE REDCOATS

Elvis IS General Andrew Jackson at the Battle of New Orleans

Elvis IS General Andrew Jackson at the Battle of New Orleans

January 8th of each year always represents the general rift that separates American pop culture from alleged “high culture”. On the one hand it’s Elvis Presley’s birthday. On the other hand it’s also the anniversary of the Battle of New Orleans, in which General (and future President) Andrew Jackson teamed up with French pirate Jean Lafitte to hand the British their worst defeat in the War of 1812.

It’s not tough to guess which event gets more attention year in and year out, but cult director Eddie Wozniak took a break from the film world to write, produce and direct this musical comedy.

General Jackson as a one-man USO show for his battle-hardened troops

General Jackson as a one-man USO show for his battle-hardened troops

Rock’N’Roll vs the Redcoats is Wozniak’s hilarious but educational fusion of Elvis’ birthday with the martial anniversary. The musical comedy depicts the events of 1815 as they might have been depicted in an Elvis Presley movie with an actual Elvis impersonator in the lead role. So basically the star of Rock’N’Roll vs the Redcoats is a man playing Elvis Presley playing General Andrew Jackson. Continue reading

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