Tag Archives: humor

PRESIDENT TRUMP EVEN DEFEATED HILLARY CLINTON IN IRRELEVANT STATS

mapRED was TRUMP – BLUE was HILLARY. Last November saw Donald Trump become President of the United States while the blustering and bitter Hillary “Bugsy” Clinton had to settle for winning a meaningless statistical category that both she and Trump knew did not designate the election winner.

United States President Donald Trump won the Electoral College, which is WHAT COUNTS because America is a Democratic Republic. That means that while the popular vote IN EACH STATE determines which candidate won each of those states the nationwide popular vote total does not – AND HAS NEVER – outweighed said Electoral College vote total.

trump-and-hillary-map-behind-themCareer criminal Hillary Clinton continues to flail her arms, get that unfocused look in her eyes and – in between long coughing jags – snivel and whine about her humiliating loss. She blames everything for her defeat at President Trump’s hands EXCEPT her phony charity, her mishandling of classified information and the public exposure of the steady bribes being funneled to her through the Clinton Foundation.

Anyway, even if Hillary wants to dwell on meaningless statistical categories PRESIDENT TRUMP STILL DEFEATS HER! He won more STATES than she did and he won more COUNTIES than she did and won a LARGER  GEOGRAPHICAL SHARE of the country than she did. But all that would be just as meaningless as the popular vote that Crooked Hillary dwells on if he hadn’t won the Electoral College total.    Continue reading

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Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

MOCK NEWS STORIES: SOME EXCERPTS

truth is the new hate speechBalladeer’s Blog takes a break from mock headlines to do random lines from mock news stories.

*** “You’re making us feel unsafe,” the howling mob of Democrats screamed as they  savagely beat the elderly, handicapped Trump supporter.  

*** “And, in what the UK government is calling Operation: Watership Down, the authorities will be clamping down on anyone caught expressing anger against the perpetrators of the latest terrorist attack. ‘Masochistic self-flagellation and empty bromides about coexistence are the ONLY permissible responses,’ Theresa May warned.

*** “George Will and Bill Kristol praised Republican Speaker of the House Paul Ryan for his ongoing efforts to – as Will put it ‘Thwart the will of the voters and return the GOP to its proper role as the party of stuffy, clueless white men in suits.’ This was followed by Kristol jumping in with ‘Damn Trump for attracting more African-American and Latino voters than just about any other Republican has in nearly a century.”

*** “Mrs Clinton nodded and agreed that she has to publicly perpetuate the possibility of running again in 2020 in order to keep bribes flowing her way.”

*** “In general the decision itself was considered bad enough but the 4th Circuit Judges went further and said ‘We considered literally urinating on the graves of all the dead victims of Muslim terror attacks, especially from phony refugees, but decided that doing so might push you sheep to the point where you finally realize how thoroughly we laugh at you each and every day … Don’t be late paying your taxes now, you hear!”

“And, they added with glee, ‘DON’T YOU PEASANTS EVER FORGET THAT THE CONSTITUTION PROTECTS THE MUSLIM FASCISTS WHO WANT TO KILL YOU, BUT NEVER YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES!”   Continue reading

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BAPTAE (Circa 415-413 B.C.): ANCIENT GREEK COMEDY

Dr Frank N FurterFor Balladeer’s Blog’s latest post on Ancient Greek Comedy I will examine another fragmentary work by Eupolis, who, along with Aristophanes and Cratinus was one of the Big Three of Attic Old Comedy.

BAPTAE was a comedy satirizing the latest faddish belief system to hit Athens: the cult of the Dorian and Thracian goddess Cotyto. Just like Kabala or transcendental meditation and other systems have enjoyed a brief vogue with entertainers and even some movers and shakers various foreign deities would periodically develop a following in ancient Athens. Eupolis was lampooning the fashionable appeal of one such cult and also ridiculed other elements of Cotyto worship as we will see.

The title Baptae came from the fact that the worshippers of Cotyto would immerse or “baptize” their garments in blue, green or purple dye, an expensive and very ostentatious indulgence for the time period. And yes, Baptae and baptizing are from the same root word, since it originally referred to immersion in any liquid, not just water.

The main element of the Athenian version of the cult of Cotyto was the fact that her devotees were exclusively male and all of them DRESSED AS THE GODDESS as part of their rites of worship. Even today we can Continue reading

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DEMOCRATS INSIST TRUMP SUPPORTERS SHOULD BE DENIED ADMITTANCE TO HOSPTALS

democratic party donkey

“Oppressing people while posing as the oppressed.”

In keeping with their vow to “beat dissenters bloody to show how compassionate we are” the DemoKKKrats and their affiliated groups like BLM (Klansmen of Color) are demanding that hospitals who admit Trump supporters for treatment be burned to the ground.  

 

When it was pointed out to the DemoKKKrats and BLM that innocent people would also suffer the two fascist groups officially replied “Hospitals which send the Trump supporters who need medical treatment out to us oppressed and vulnerable people will be spared destruction. Those Trump supporters that are turned over to us will suffer the People’s Vengeance for the way they made us feel unsafe.”

Career criminal Hillary Clinton, the President of California,  tweeted her solidarity with the bloodthirsty mob and  – unsurprisingly – was joined by Senator John McCain of Arizona. Continue reading

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BLACK CONDOR: THE OFFICIAL SUPERHERO OF BALLADEER’S BLOG

Black CondorRegular readers of Balladeer’s Blog know that words like eccentric, oddball, offbeat, weird and damn crazy come to mind when describing me. So, that being the case the most appropriate superhero mascot for this site is the Black Condor.

That’s the Golden Age Black Condor, who debuted in 1940 and is now in the public domain, not the newer comic book characters going by that name. The original Black Condor appeals to me in the same way that bad movies do. Here are the six reasons why this figure has long been my favorite weirdass Golden Age superhero:

ONE: HE STARRED IN A COMIC BOOK TITLED CRACK COMICS! Yep. Crack Comics number 1 marked the first appearance of the Black Condor. Very appropriate for a hero whose whole story sounds like it was inspired by smoking a crack pipe. Continue reading

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DEMOCRATS ACCUSE TRUMP OF KILLING CHUCK BERRY AND CHUCK BARRIS

Democratic Party jackassThe Democrats, living up to Nancy Pelosi’s vow to “make Caligula look sane,” have now accused United States President Donald Trump of conspiring to assassinate Chuck Berry and Chuck Barris. California President Hillary “Bugsy” Clinton joined the chorus of fevered voices and added “we’ll tie President Trump to the Jimmy Hoffa or Judge Crater disappearances if we have to in order to further harm this country!”

Needless to say, within hours this irrational conspiracy theory was being taught as “established history” by the Left-Wing Archie Bunkers who serve as the Democrats’ Winston Smiths at colleges and universities across America.

Democrat Chuck Schumer has called for a Special Prosecutor and claimed that since he is ALSO named Chuck he is next on President Trump’s Hit List now that Berry and Barris are gone. Continue reading

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MORE MOCK TRUMP HEADLINES

hillary yellingDEMOCRATS DEMAND THE RESIGNATION OF ALL TRUMP ADMINISTRATION MEMBERS WHO HAVE EVER TASTED RUSSIAN DRESSING!  

CALIFORNIA PRESIDENT HILLARY CLINTON SAYS “I NEVER WOULD HAVE LET RUSSIA HAVE ALL THAT AMERICAN URANIUM IN EXCHANGE FOR BRIBES IF I HAD KNOWN PUTIN WAS SUCH A BIG MEANIE!”

RESISTANCE TO TRUMP UNVEILS THEIR STIRRING SLOGAN: “IF YOU DON’T TAKE US SERIOUSLY WE WILL TOTALLY FILE A COMPLAINT AGAINST YOU!”

JOHN MCCAIN INSISTS TRUMP IS HELPING PUTIN MAKE “BIG TROUBLE FOR MOOSE AND SQUIRREL!”

OBAMA CLAIMS HIS REPEATED GROVELING FOR PUTIN WAS PART OF A STING OPERATION

PAUL KRUGMAN: ANCIENT ALIENS TRIED TO WARN THE WORLD ABOUT TRUMP Continue reading

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