FOR APRIL FOOL’S DAY: SIX MEMORABLE FOOL KILLER TALES FROM AMERICAN FOLKLORE

Balladeer’s Blog marks April Fool’s Day with this look at some classic Fool Killer folklore from the 1800s onward.

AN ORIGIN FOR THE FOOL KILLER – In the 1830s a Devil mated with assorted women of East Tennessee’s “Hill Portughee (Portuguese)” and one of them bore him a son. The son grew up to drive that Devil out of the Tennessee hills after tricking his infernal father into forging an iron staff that he used as a weapon against him.

               That son then became the Fool Killer, using his iron staff/ walking stick/ club to prey on outsiders “foolish” enough to come looking for the hidden gold of the Melungeons in the eldritch Tennessee woodlands. He also battled federal agents trying to stop the Melungeons from printing their own gold coins.

OPPOSING THE KU KLUX KLAN – In the Spring and Summer of 1870 the Fool Killer battled the KKK, whose violence in a few North Carolina counties had grown so extreme that the governor declared Martial Law. The folk figure opposed Klan influence in North Carolina politics as well as their brutal acts of maiming and killing people who opposed them.  Continue reading

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BAD MOVIE REVIEW: ZERO TO SIXTY (1978) WITH DARREN MCGAVIN AND JOAN COLLINS

ZERO TO SIXTY (1978) – Want to see Darren McGavin of all people bare his butt for the camera in two separate scenes? Want to see Darren McGavin getting his bare butt spanked by the Hudson Brothers in one of those scenes? Want to see Darren McGavin in sex scenes with Joan Collins at her smoking hot best?

Usually, you’d have me at the words “Want to see Darren McGavin” because I’m a huge fan of the guy. And not just as Carl Kolchak in The Night Stalker but most of his big-screen work and small-screen work from the 1950s onward. Well, I finally met a Darren McGavin movie I wasn’t ready for.

Zero to Sixty was produced by McGavin’s wife Kathie Browne and directed by Psychotronic Hall of Famer Don Weis. As I watched Darren in screwball car chases and in scenes full of “comedy” that wouldn’t have made the cut in one of Burt Reynolds’ Cannonball Run movies I was having trouble getting my head around what I was seeing.

During a scene in which McGavin pretends to be wetting himself I think I began babbling “But … but … that’s Darren McGavin.” Believe it or not, Denise Nickerson – Violet Beauregard from Willy Wonka – playing an underaged Car Repossession Agent helped bring things into focus for me.      Continue reading

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FORGOTTEN TELEVISION: ADVENTURES OF THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL (1955-1956)

THE ADVENTURES OF THE SCARLET PIMPERNEL (1955-1956) – British television series based on Baroness Emma Orczy’s 1903 play and 1905 novel (and series) about Sir Percy Blakeney (Marius Goring), who puts on a foppish and dim-witted air to disguise the fact that he is secretly the Scarlet Pimpernel.

As that figure, he and his network of agents covertly organize the escape from France of aristocrats and others condemned to die on the guillotine under the Reign of Terror in the 1790s. Chauvelin (Stanley Van Beers), one of the most rabid operatives of the Revolutionary mad dogs terrorizing France, works to prevent the Scarlet Pimpernel and his eponymous League from rescuing his targets.   

Strangely, the series omitted Sir Percy’s beautiful and brilliant wife Marguerite, a former French actress whose daring matched his own. Instead, the show used a different female ally for the Pimpernel – Countess la Valliere (Lucie Mannheim).

Some of the novel’s League of the Scarlet Pimpernel were supporting characters, including Second Doctor Who star Patrick Troughton as Sir Andrew Ffoulkes and Anthony Newland as Lord Hastings. The series ran for 18 half-hour installments.  

THE EPISODES: Continue reading

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JESUS: A PASSION PLAY FOR AMERICANS (1969)

teuber as JesusJESUS: A PASSION PLAY FOR AMERICANS (1969) – For Easter Week here’s a look at an experimental take on the story of Jesus Christ’s crucifixion and resurrection, all accompanied by music.

BEFORE the concept album Jesus Christ Superstar became a stage production and before Godspell came this rock, improv jazz and blues version of the Passion of the Christ.

Peter Ivers composed the curtain-to-curtain music, while director Timothy S. Mayer wrote the dialogue and lyrics, adapted from the King James Bible version of the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. Continue reading

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NEWS ROUNDUP: MARCH THIRTIETH

Here’s a Monday current events roundup from Independent Voter Site Balladeer’s Blog.

DEMOCRAT CONGRESSWOMAN ILHAN OMAR, ALREADY UNDER FIRE FOR HER ROLE IN THE MINNESOTA FRAUD RINGS, EXPOSED OVER HER TIES TO SOMALILAND GENOCIDE.

DEMOCRAT CONGRESSWOMAN PRAMILA JAYAPAL CALLS FOR REPARATIONS FOR ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS. What an obscene insult to all the victims of illegal immigrant crime and their loved ones.

BLACK ICE AGENTS LAUGH AT DEMOCRAT SOYBOY WHO CALLS THEM FASCISTS. More HERE.

JUAQUIN JAMES MALPHURS SAYS HE IS STICKING WITH TRUMP AND PRAISES HIM

IRANIAN REFUGEE SAYS TRUMP IS THE FIRST PRESIDENT TO CLEARLY SEE THE THREAT POSED BY THE CURRENT IRANIAN REGIME

TWO TEXAS POLICE OFFICERS CHARGE INTO BURNING MOTEL AND SAVE GUESTS. Remember, you will NEVER see anti-police “activists” risking their lives to save the lives of others like this.

PHILADELPHIA DEMOCRATS CHEER FOR MORE DEAD AMERICAN SOLDIERS. How very on-brand for the party of criminals and fascists.

HEY DEMOCRATS, ZELENSKY RECOGNIZES THE THREAT POSED BY THE CURRENT IRANIAN REGIME. Iran’s current regime is at least as bad as crazed war criminal Vlad Putin’s Russia. Continue reading

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NCAA D-3 FINAL FOUR SET, PLUS HBCU SEMIFINALS

NCAA DIVISION THREE

FINAL FOUR: FIRST BERTH – The CHRISTOPHER NEWPORT UNIVERSITY CAPTAINS played the UNIVERSITY OF ST. THOMAS (TX) CELTS. The defenses ruled at first and come Halftime the score was knotted up at a mere 22-22. After the break, CNU managed enough separation to upset the Celts by a score of 63-59. Toa Hollenbeck led the Captains with his 25 points.

FINAL FOUR: SECOND BERTH – Up next, the TRINITY (CT) COLLEGE BANTAMS did battle with the TUFTS UNIVERSITY JUMBOS. The Bantams held a tight 29-27 edge at the Half. From there competition remained intense but Trinity College downed the Jumbos 69-66. Sixteen points from Henry Vetter led the way for the Bantams.    Continue reading

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FLASHBACK: SOME OF 2019’s EXAMPLES OF ANTI-TRUMP LIES AND HYSTERIA

The past few weeks I’ve been taking a look at the way that people who spend their every waking moment frothing at the mouth with hatred for President Donald Trump are still as irrational, wrong and deceitful as they were during his first term. With 2017 and 2018 behind us, here’s 2019 examples.

FLASHBACKS

JANUARY 29th, 2019 – JOURNALIST SHARYL ATTKISSON PRESENTS A LIST OF OVER ONE HUNDRED FAKE NEWS ITEMS ABOUT PRESIDENT TRUMP SINCE HIS 2017 INAUGURATION. And anti-Trump fascists fell for them every single time. And still do.

JANUARY 28th – DEMOCRATS STILL ORDERING AMERICANS OF COLOR NOT TO WEAR MAGA HATS. Democrats still can’t deal with the fact that they no longer own African-Americans.

JANUARY 8th – PRIVILEGED WHITE DEMOCRATS STILL PRETEND TO BE PART OF A “RESISTANCE” AGAINST PRESIDENT TRUMP. Thus insulting real resistance movements throughout history.

FEBRUARY 25th – PRIVILEGED ONE-PERCENTER “ACTORS” HYSTERICALLY OVERREACTING TO PRESIDENT TRUMP.

FEBRUARY 15th – TRUMP-HATERS PRETEND HIS DECLARATION OF AN EMERGENCY AT THE SOUTHERN BORDER MEANS WE’RE INCHES FROM A DICTATORSHIP EVEN THOUGH OBAMA DECLARED THIRTEEN EMERGENCIES HIMSELF. And the fact that nearly SIXTY “Presidential Emergency Declarations” had been made since 1976, proving that there is no danger of them leading to a dictatorship. Plus THIRTY-ONE previous Presidential declarations of emergencies were STILL in effect as of this 2019 date, proving how milk-water they are given that they had been forgotten about. Continue reading

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THE ORPHIC ARGONAUTICA: PART TWO

FOR PART ONE OF THE ORPHIC ARGONAUTICA , ITS TIES TO ORPHISM AND ITS DIFFERENCES TO THE MAINSTREAM MYTH OF THE ARGONAUTS CLICK HERE

### After the Argonauts had feasted, they proceeded to the Argo and tried pulling it to the sea for launching. It was snagged on dry seaweed and refused to go further, so the Argonauts began losing their resolve. Remember, this is an Orpheus-centric version of the Quest for the Golden Fleece, so this wimpy loss of resolve was just an excuse for another Orphic lesson.

Even Jason felt helpless and looked to Orpheus for help. Orpheus played music and sang lyrics invoking another parable from the Derveni Papyrus (300s B.C.) and other Orphic material.

The song reminded each Argonaut of their noble bloodlines and recalled how years earlier Orpheus’s songs had bestowed movement on the pines and oaks from the mountains and had them walk near the coastline to re-root themselves.

Recently, those trees had been cut down by Argos and his workers to build the great ship the Argo. Orpheus’ song further reminds the trees whose wood now makes up the ship that they are as bound to obey him now as they were when they were whole.

The Argo itself proceeds to free itself from the dry seaweed and move into the water. Our heroes board the vessel, but Jason has come to doubt his leadership abilities and nominates Herakles to be the new captain of the Argonauts. Continue reading

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THE BUTCHER (1975) – EERIE’S GUN-WIELDING VIGILANTE PRIEST

This weekend’s light-hearted, escapist superhero post from Balladeer’s Blog looks at one of Warren Publishing’s most neglected 1970s characters from Eerie magazine – the disfigured, gun-wielding vigilante priest called the Butcher.

EERIE #62 (Jan 1975)

Title: Forgive Us Our Trespasses 

Hero: The Butcher

Villains: The New Orleans Mafia 

NOTE: Along with Eerie‘s recurring characters the Spook (a big, black zombie in the 1840s American South who slaughters slave owners, evil Voodoo practitioners and their zombie armies) and Coffin (an undead and disfigured gunslinger in the late 1800s West who suffers under an Indian curse), I consider the Butcher to have tragically wasted potential.   

     Written by Bill DuBay and drawn by iconic artist Richard Corben, the Butcher combined Marvel’s the Punisher with its horror characters and paperback novel antiheroes like the Executioner and the Destroyer.

Synopsis: In June of 1932, New Orleans Mafia Don Carlo Gambino (no relation to the real-life New York Mafia boss of the same name) is on his deathbed. He has an unnamed priest brought to him to hear his last Confession. Continue reading

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DR. SAN GUINARY (1971-1981) – BAD MOVIE HOST

DR. SAN GUINARY – From 1971 to 1981, director John F. Jones at KMTV in Omaha, Nebraska hosted the channel’s version of Creature Feature as mad scientist Dr. San Guinary. The program originally aired late Saturday nights after the 10:00pm local news, then was moved to Midnight when KMTV started airing SNL in 1975.

Omaha’s Creature Feature opened with the sound of whooshing winds, thunder and a few screams as the camera grew closer to what was obviously a scale model of a spooky old house where Doc maintained his lab. The joke was that the audience could clearly tell the house was just a model, like so many fake-looking models of buildings in so many bad movies. (Same joke with the Gizmonic Institute models.)  

In his light green skin makeup and lightly blood-spattered white lab coat, San’s schtick was the by-then well-established airing of old and often bad movies like Day of the Triffids or The Giant Behemoth alongside various supporting characters like his lab assistant Igor and occasional pretty nurses.

The doctor, whose voice always had a certain Wolfman Jack sound to it, also did comedy inserts and sketches, of course. The circulating DVDs of Horror Host footage from decades ago featured plenty of Dr. San Guinary’s comedy bits, including his Mystery Door segments (above right).

Doc never knew what would lie behind that door, like maybe a train racing toward him, or himself playing on a rock piano and singing Catfish Boogie, or other oddities and sight gags. Sort of a forerunner of the Hexfield Viewscreen gags on Mystery Science Theater 3000 during its original run. Continue reading

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