Monthly Archives: May 2022

IF FOOTMEN TIRE YOU, WHAT WILL HORSES DO? (1971) – BAD MOVIE

I’ve gotten e-mails asking that I review this movie but I already did in 2010. It’s been on my Bad Movie page here: https://glitternight.com/bad-movies/

If Footmen Tire youIF FOOTMEN TIRE YOU, WHAT WILL HORSES DO? (1971) – Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9-sized cult following.    

No, it’s not about Quentin Tarantino and pre-Castro Havana nightclubs (Thank you, I’m here all week!) it’s really a Cold War-era warning about what would happen if Communists took over the United States. It’s from Ron Ormond, best known for the bad movie classic Mesa Of Lost Women before he found religion and hooked up with the Reverend Estus W Pirkle for films like this one.

If Footmen Tire you 2Pirkle serves as the narrator of this quirky little mess, ranting on and on in his over-the-top way about how the USA has turned away from the Bible and will suffer the consequences. He’s like a combination of Criswell in Plan 9 From Outer Space and the sermonizing narrator from Blood Freak (qv).

In one of his enjoyably bizarre tangents before he gets to the Soviet conquest of America he also speaks out on the “evils” of dancing, which he calls ”The front door to adultery! What starts on the dance floor is expected to be finished later.” He even says dancing is “as immoral as it has always been”. Continue reading

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IRON MAN: 1970s CLASSICS 8 – THE BLACK LAMA, WHIPLASH, MELTER AND THE MAN-BULL

For Part One of these Iron Man 1970s classics click HERE.

im 72IRON MAN Vol 1 #71 (November 1974)

Title: Tooth and Yellow Claw

Villains: Black Lama and the Yellow Claw

Synopsis: This issue picks up right where the previous one left off. With Ultimo defeated, Iron Man flies toward the Mandarin’s former castle, now occupied by the Yellow Claw, who is exulting over having killed the Mandarin through trickery last time around. 

NOTE: Naturally the Mandarin is not really dead and in 1977 will return.

robert downey jr iron manThe Yellow Claw seized the Mandarin’s castle and killed his rival supervillain as the opening battles in the War of the Supervillains which has been set in motion by Iron Man’s old foe the Black Lama. The latter villain is offering his Golden Globe of Power as the world-conquering prize to whichever Marvel supervillain wins this deadly war.   

Iron Man bursts through one of the castle walls, suprising the Yellow Claw. The Claw sics one of his biological constructs – a mutated cyborg – on our hero and slips away. After Tony defeats the cyborg creature, the Yellow Claw unleashes an army of his robots on Iron Man, who defeats them, too. Continue reading

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COOL-NAMED SPORTS TEAM: PROVIDENCE CHRISTIAN COLLEGE

Providence Christian College Sea Beggars

School: PROVIDENCE CHRISTIAN COLLEGE

Team Name: SEA BEGGARS

Location: Pasadena, CA Continue reading

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JOE BIDEN IS UTTER FILTH AND A LAUGHINGSTOCK

democrats the culture of hateAs always, Independent Voter site Balladeer’s Blog comes to you from the Biden Regime’s corporate fascist kleptocracy, where crime families like the Bidens, Pelosis, Bushes and Romneys enrich themselves at the public’s expense. Meanwhile, they push hatred and division on a daily basis.

THE BIDEN REGIME LIFTS SANCTIONS ON WAR CRIMINAL PUTIN’S STRONGEST ALLIES. Joe talks tough but on the side helps out Putin and his allies again and again.

JOE BIDEN NOW CAUSING CHILD HOSPITALIZATIONS OVER HIS BABY FORMULA DEBACLE. Biden is an unfeeling monster.

BIDEN REGIME SUBSIDIZES BUSINESSES WHO PRIORITIZE HIRING OVERSEAS WORKERS INSTEAD OF AMERICAN CITIZENS. Biden’s war on the working class continues.

biden ordered through the mailVIETNAMESE DIPLOMATS CAUGHT ON CAMERA LAUGHING AT THE MENTALLY UNFIT AND ILLEGIT JOE BIDEN. And who could blame them? 

BIDEN REGIME TOSSES A LIFELINE TO THE OPPRESSIVE CUBAN REGIME, BASICALLY REWARDING THEM FOR THEIR MASS JAILING OF CHILD POLITICAL PRISONERS. But then, Joe Biden has always had far more “Kids in Cages” here in the U.S. than either Trump or Obama had.

AUDIT REVEALS THAT HALF OF JOE BIDEN’S TWITTER FOLLOWERS ARE FAKE! Hey, fake votes, fake Twitter followers, it’s all the same to Crooked Joe. 

JOE BIDEN’S DISASTER AT THE BORDER GETS WORSE AND WORSE. Continue reading

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COTTABUS PLAYERS (CIRCA 420s B.C.) ANCIENT GREEK COMEDY

Balladeer’s Blog examines yet another ancient Greek comedy which has survived only in fragmentary form.

Theater of Dionysus

The Ruins of the Theater of Dionysus in Athens.

COTTABUS PLAYERS (c 420s B.C.) – This comedy was written by Ameipsias, whose career as an Athenian comic poet ran from approximately the 420s B.C. to the 390s B.C. In the Dionysia Festival of 423 B.C. he won 2nd Place for his comedy Connus and in 414 B.C’s Dionysia he won 1st place for The Revelers. Ameipsias also won 1st place at a Lenaea Festival but the year and title of his entry are not known.

Regular readers of Balladeer’s Blog will remember that Cottabus was a party game in ancient Athens and had two variations. The “lesser” variation involved the hard-drinking guests (and virtually ALL guests at ancient Athenian parties were hard-drinking) throwing the wine-lees at the bottoms of their cups at a plate balanced on a pole, with the winner being the one who knocked the plate off the pole.

masc chair and bottleThe “greater” variation, to the proud, sea-faring Athenians, who “ruled the waves” long before Britons came along, involved throwing their wine-lees at plates floating in a pool, with the winner being the one who sank each plate. This small-scale equivalent of naval warfare was, according to Athenaeus, the more prestigious version and was characteristic of a more “high-end” party.

The all-important Chorus of this comedy by Ameipsias was presumably a set of rowdy, drunken Cottabus players. Let’s take a look at what can be gleaned from the surviving fragments:

** The comedy’s characters were SO drunk (“How drunk were they?”) they were using their projectile vomiting instead of wine-lees to sink the floating plates.      Continue reading

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EDISON’S CONQUEST OF MARS (1898)

Edison's Conquest of Mars 2

From 1898 it’s Garrett P Serviss’ work of science fiction.

PART ONE – After the Martian invaders from H.G. Wells’ War of the Worlds and Serviss’ own Fighters From Mars died from exposure to Earth germs, astronomers around the world realized the ordeal wasn’t over yet. All indications were that the Martians were readying another fleet of spaceships to attack the Earth. CLICK HERE   

PART TWO – Thomas Alva Edison reverse-engineered the Martian space craft. The nations of the Earth then banded together to build an entire fleet of similar vessels and take the war to the Red Planet. President McKinley, Queen Victoria, Kaiser Wilhelm and other heads of state from around the world attend the global summit. CLICK HERE   

PART THREE – After a monumental effort the Earth has a space-fleet of its own, equipped with Edison’s Disintegrator Rays as weaponry. With Edison commanding the flagship and with military men and scientific geniuses from around the world as an officer corps the Earth Fleet departs the Earth. CLICK HERE    Continue reading

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JOE BIDEN: CALLOUSNESS AND CORRUPTION COMBINED IN ONE LOATHSOME PACKAGE

biden disinformation secretaries

We need Third Parties, as I often point out here at Balladeer’s Blog. At any rate, here’s a Monday quick take on the corrupt yet senile career criminal Joe Biden, who is possibly the most loathsome little man in American politics, and his gang of white-collar criminals.

joe biden slovenly mess

BIDEN’S MINISTER OF PROPER THOUGHT – NUTTY NAZI NINA JANCOWICZ – LINKED TO GROUP SUBVERTING WESTERN DEMOCRACIES WITH DISINFORMATION

BIDEN REGIME CALLOUSLY UNRESPONSIVE TO THE BABY FORMULA SHORTAGE CAUSED BY CROOKED JOE’S DISASTROUS POLICIES. More HERE.

DEMOCRAT BOARD OF SUPERVISORS MEMBER IN PENNSYLVANIA INDICTED ON EIGHTY-TWO – YES, EIGHTY-TWO – FELONY COUNTS IN VOTE FRAUD SCANDAL. Democrats and vote fraud still go together like Joe Biden and incoherent babbling.  Continue reading

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5 HARD-TO-FIND FILMS

Here at Balladeer’s Blog I review a lot of very obscure movies. This is a look at some of the films I have thus far not been able to find. Any help anyone could offer would be appreciated.

michel auder cleopatraMICHEL AUDER’S CLEOPATRA (1970) – It’s weirdness squared in this overlooked flick which Michel Auders directed utilizing assorted Andy Warhol menagerie figures in the cast. Auder himself played Caesar, with modern-day Rome as the seat of his empire. Viva portrayed Cleopatra with her domain of Egypt being set in the modern-day state of New York with snowmobiles as horses. Yes, it’s one of THOSE kinds of films.

The cast members improvised their way through the storyline, so I will say again “Yes, it’s one of THOSE kinds of films”. Among the cast were Nico, Ultra Violet, Ondine, Louis Waldon and Taylor Mead. Keep your eyes peeled for the one and only Christopher Walken.      Continue reading

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TOP MYTHOLOGICAL PANTHEONS COVERED HERE AT BALLADEER’S BLOG

Balladeer's Blog

Balladeer’s Blog

Balladeer’s Blog’s examinations of pantheons of deities outside of the frequently-covered Greco-Roman, Egyptian and Norse have been very popular and well-received. To make sure all mythology buffs who visit here are aware of how many belief systems I’ve looked at here’s a convenient overview.

FuchiAINU  

Sampling of Deities: Shiramba the vegetation god, Hashinau-Uk the goddess of the hunt, Okikurmi the culture god and monster-slayer, Wakka-Ush the water goddess and Kando-Koro the sky god and ruler of the land of the gods.

Top Deity on List: Fuchi the fire goddess. 

Comment: This is one of the most popular of the out of the way pantheons I’ve covered.

FULL LIST CLICK HERE: https://glitternight.com/2014/11/20/the-top-gods-in-ainu-mythology/

Tupari live near the Rio BrancoTUPARI

Sampling of Deities: Mulher the Earth goddess, Arkoanyo the bird god, Karam the sun goddess, Valedjad the storm god and Aunyaina the wild boar god.

Top Deity on List: Patobkia, the god who rules over the afterlife and the series of trials each soul undergoes.

Comment: With only thousands of the Tupari people left this is a sadly neglected pantheon of deities.

FULL LIST CLICK HERE: https://glitternight.com/2013/04/02/the-top-ten-deities-in-tupari-mythology/ Continue reading

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IRON MAN: 1970s CLASSICS 7 – THE MANDARIN, BLACK LAMA AND SUNFIRE

For Part One of these Iron Man 1970s classics click HERE.

im 68IRON MAN Vol 1 #68 (June 1974)

Title: Night of the Rising Sun

Villains: The Mandarin, Sunfire and Unicorn

Synopsis: We pick up months after our previous installment. Tony Stark has been spending most of his time in the Far East managing the reorganization of the Stark Regional offices there now that his company no longer handles weapons manufacturing. All of that is just the excuse to justify frequently loaning out his “bodyguard” Iron Man to Roxie Gilbert’s combined humanitarian mission and hunt for Eddie March’s M.I.A. brother Marty.

mandarin pictureAs this issue opens, Iron Man is using his repulsor rays to blast a path through the jungle for Roxie, U.N. escorts and North Vietnamese escorts plus the joint armed forces and aid workers. The communist army officer is especially hostile, making it clear he’s not fond of having Americans like Roxie Gilbert and Iron Man on hand. He also vows to retake Saigon some day.

NOTE: This story is set after the last American troops withdrew but before Saigon had fallen and been renamed Ho Chi Minh City. Marvel’s editors must have been scrambling to keep their comic book stories in synch with real-world events. Continue reading

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