Category Archives: Presidential Rap Sheets

AMERICAN PRESIDENTS EISENHOWER THROUGH TRUMP

Mascot with demo and repub headsA large number of first-time readers have discovered Balladeer’s Blog recently and some of them have expressed confusion since I trash both Republicans and Democrats. Here’s one of my biggest hits – a tongue-in-cheek look at U.S. Presidents from Eisenhower to Trump so newbies can see that, yes, Virginia, I DO take shots at both major political parties.

  

EisenhowerDWIGHT EISENHOWER

Character Type: Well-meaning but befuddled sitcom grandfather.

Military Service: World War One and World War Two

Motto: “FOOORE!” (Remember,  the traditional cry as you’re teeing off in golf? Oh, never mind!)

Nickname: Uncle Milty

Pro: Knew enough to distrust Richard Nixon long before it became the national pasttime. 

Con: Was the first president to pronounce nuclear as “nucular”.

john f kennedyJOHN F KENNEDY

Character Type: Rich playboy who disdained both Liberals and Conservatives and played by his own rules.

Military Service: World War Two

Motto: “Thank God for television!”

Nickname: FDR  

Pro: The man was shrewd enough to distrust both liberals and conservatives equally. I can’t praise that attitude highly enough given our present circumstances.  Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion, Presidential Rap Sheets

HISTORIANS PRONOUNCE OBAMA THE WORST PRESIDENT EVER

Obama at wheel

The worst president in American history.

Well, it’s official. Barack Obama has been pronounced the worst U.S. president ever by a panel of experts. The weak, inept and crooked little man was denounced for his flagrant failures with the economy, his many scandals, his disastrous foreign policy and for his blatant corruption, including his misuse of the FBI as his own personal secret police.

I’m no fan of Obama, but even I think it was hitting below the belt for the historians to point out Obama’s horrible college grades and his continued embarrassment over them and refusal to be open and transparent about them.

Obama I dont alwaysThey were on much more solid ground pointing out the way Obama was patted on the head, coddled and lied about from day one, being granted a Nobel Peace Prize “on spec” after just a few months in office. And how youtube is loaded with videos of Barack making remarks every bit as stupid as any that the pathetic George W Bush ever made.

However, the experts have spoken and Obama now stands condemned by history for his many, many failures and dishonest acts. It’s no longer up for debate. Continue reading

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1912: BATTLE OF THE THREE PRESIDENTS

Mascot with demo and repub headsHappy Presidents Day! Balladeer’s Blog’s seasonal posts continue with this look at the presidential election of 1912.

I won’t bury this item in unnecessary detail to the point where it becomes boring. My emphasis will be on its three-way battle’s relevance to us in 2018. 

Woodrow WilsonDEMOCRAT: Woodrow Wilson, the victor. To this very day many Republicans blame Wilson for starting the country on its path toward all the things they don’t like.

They ignore the fact that their own party’s movers and shakers of the time spitefully ensured Wilson’s victory by refusing to accept the popular Theodore Roosevelt as the Republican candidate.

That drove him to the Third Party called the Progressive Party, thus splitting the anti-Wilson vote in such a way that enabled the Democrat to win.

Theodore RooseveltPROGRESSIVE: Former Republican President Theodore Roosevelt had come out of retirement to run again because he was thoroughly disenchanted with his hand-picked successor, incumbent Republican President William Howard Taft.

The reason? Theodore felt that Taft was undoing the few inroads that he (Theodore) had made against the moneyed rich pig class. Republican tycoons of the time often expressed their feeling that Teddy was a traitor to his class – an accusation that they would REALLY overuse against Theodore’s Democrat cousin Franklin Roosevelt decades later.  

This is similar to the way current President Donald Trump is often attacked by today’s bloated rich pigs, both Republican AND Democrat, because of the few inroads that HE has made against his fellows in the moneyed class. Some of the rich pigs of Teddy’s era openly referred to the way they generally carry America’s elected officials around in their pockets by saying “We bought the son of a bitch but he wouldn’t stay bought.”       

Let that sink in: Both the brazenness of the public statement AND the notion of people so wealthy they could afford to buy even an Old Money figure like Theodore Roosevelt. This too, shows how dangerous those still-prevalent plutocratic forces are and the uphill fight faced by President Trump, Theodore Roosevelt, Franklin Roosevelt and John F Kennedy.

William Howard TaftREPUBLICAN: William Howard Taft, the incumbent Republican President and a rich pig who was perfectly happy to conform to the desires of the plutocratic forces that his predecessor Theodore Roosevelt had fought.

When you think of Taft, think of today’s Republican trash like Jeb Bush, Lindsey Graham, John McCain, Mitch McConnell and all the other GOP wimps acceptable to the kind of moneyed pigs who continue to battle President Trump, even though he is nominally a member of their political party.

Virtually no one seriously doubts that Roosevelt would have defeated Woodrow Wilson if the Republicans had let the returning Teddy be their nominee in 1912. Instead, they coordinated Taft’s nomination at their convention because they knew that Theodore – like President Trump today – would have fought them on certain issues.

Roosevelt retaliated by running as the candidate of the Progressive Party aka Bull Moose Party. With Teddy and Taft splitting so much of the anti-Wilson vote, Woodrow went on to win the election, unleashing all those policies which many Republicans feel “started to destroy the country.”

One lesson from all of that is that the one percenters and bloated rich pigs who run the Republican Party have long been more than happy to spitefully enable the victory of a candidate whom their voters opposed just to block a Republican candidate that they don’t own.

So whenever right-wing Republicans go on a tirade against Woodrow Wilson it can take the conversation to interesting new places to point out that Wilson would never have become president in the first place if not for the spiteful behavior of the Republican Establishment.

This, too, is similar to the way that the Republican Party’s Never-Trump fools and the privileged white males at National Review continue to sabotage the Donald even though following his lead might ensure them a much, MUCH larger share of the working class vote and the African-American vote.

As in 1912 the greedy interests of RepubCorp’s bloated rich pigs matter more to them than the voters and the country as a whole.      Continue reading

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U.S. PRESIDENTS FROM EISENHOWER TO TRUMP

It’s Presidents Day Weekend! Here are some takes on the more recent presidents.  

EisenhowerDWIGHT EISENHOWER

Character Type: Well-meaning but befuddled sitcom grandfather.

Military Service: World War One and World War Two

Motto: “FOOORE!” (Remember,  the traditional cry as you’re teeing off in golf? Oh, never mind!)

Nickname: Uncle Milty

Pro: Knew enough to distrust Richard Nixon long before it became the national pasttime. 

Con: Was the first president to pronounce nuclear as “nucular”.

john f kennedyJOHN F KENNEDY

Character Type: Rich playboy who disdained both Liberals and Conservatives and played by his own rules.

Military Service: World War Two

Motto: “Thank God for television!”

Nickname: FDR  

Pro: The man was shrewd enough to distrust both liberals and conservatives equally. I can’t praise that attitude highly enough given our present circumstances. 

Con: Continue reading

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OBAMA REJECTS HIS ENTIRE CAREER BASED ON DIVISIVENESS

Obama DerpThe weak, inept and crooked little man named Barack Obama stated publicly that he rejects “the politics of divisiveness.” Way to go, Barry! I never thought you’d be mature enough to repudiate your entire career which was based on hatred, “othering” and divisiveness.

Yes, I’m kidding. I know Barry was really just demonstrating the Democrat lack of self-awareness and was oblivious to how “divisiveness” applies to him so perfectly. As I’ve said in the past, if it was possible to immediately contact everyone in the country to see how they felt about a given issue, the result could be a perfect 50-50 split and pompous Democrat jackasses would STILL try to say that ONLY the people who disagree with them are being “divisive.” Not them.

Anyway, for fun let’s proceed as if Obama DID realize what a divisive demagogue he was and imagine his apology:

Obama sad face 1

Barack Obama feeling ashamed for encouraging violence against police and for setting back race relations

Barack Obama delivered this apology: 

“I apologize for ever having encouraged an environment of violence toward the police. In every case involving a shooting I have jumped to conclusions and made undiplomatic remarks that have made tense situations worse. Too late I came to realize that Black Lives Matter – a hate-group comparable to the Ku Klux Klan – was founded on the lies about what happened in Ferguson, MO.  

“In the most recent cases, too, we have all since learned that the African-Americans BOTH had guns and were NOT unarmed, as first rumored. Again I have fanned the flames of race hatred and I am so very ashamed and so very sorry. Even one of my own White House Staff left after shooting at a police officer. I know we all remember her name.

Obama tear

Obama weeping over what a failure he has been

“I also apologize for hijacking the memorial service for the Texas law enforcement personnel who were gunned down during that Nuremberg Rally of Color that the Black Lives Matter bigots mounted. I apologize for pompously and patronizingly saying that ‘it hurts’ when hate groups like Black Lives Matter get criticized.

“I should have realized THAT IT MUST ALSO HURT TO BE WHITE AMERICANS WHO HAVE NEVER WRONGED ANY AFRICAN-AMERICANS YET STILL BE SUBJECTED TO NON-STOP HARANGUES ABOUT RACISM. I apologize. I humbly, deeply apologize. 

“I apologize on behalf of the entire Democratic Party for our endless racebaiting. The truth is, FIVE DECADES of condescending gibberish from the Democratic Party has done NOTHING to improve life for working class people – BOTH BLACK AND WHITE. Therefore, we felt we had no choice but to stoke up hatred among blacks and whites before the working class of both colors united against the Democratic Party.  

Obama sad face 2

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** Barack Obama feeling sad about getting such horrible grades in college and for being the worst U.S. President in history.

“Please forgive me. I know I don’t deserve it,but I’m begging all of you. I apologize for spouting divisive nonsense at the memorial service and not taking into account the feelings of the loved ones of the slain officers. That memorial service was meant to honor the service and sacrifice of those brave officers, yet I fundamentally transformed it into another excuse to spread race-hatred. Continue reading

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OBAMA’S UNDESERVED NOBEL PEACE PRIZE CRITICIZED EVEN BY NOBEL COMMITTEE REP

Obama peace prizeYears ago Balladeer’s Blog ran a post examining which Nobel “Peace” Prize winner killed more people: Republican Henry Kissinger or Democrat Barack Obama. It used to be too close to call but Obama’s recent fathering of the Iranian Nuclear Weapons Program has since given him the theoretical edge.

President Donald Trump hasn’t killed enough people yet to be in the running for a “Peace” Prize but bloodthirsty figures in America’s Military Business Machine keep trying to pressure him into a higher body count. 

Obama I dont alwaysAnyway, with blood-soaked figures like Barack, Henry and even Yasser Arafat winning the Nobel Peace Prize you can see how that prize has become a meaningless, dark-humored joke.

Add the fact that Obama got his Peace Prize in 2009, when he was so new to the presidency that he had done nothing to deserve it. He didn’t deserve the presidency, either, for that matter. But the media liked the way his shallowness mirrored their own, so there you go.

In virtually UNPRECEDENTED fashion a former rep of the Nobel Peace Prize Committee – Geir Lundestad – admitted in his book that the Committee gave the new president the Peace Prize just to try to boost him politically. No true criteria were used. Who knew they awarded Nobel Prizes “on spec” as it were?

As reported: Continue reading

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TELL OBAMA HE’S MADE ENOUGH MONEY

Obama eight yearsThe weak, inept and crooked little man named Barack Obama – the official Worst U.S. President in History – once read the following line from his teleprompter: “At some point I think you’ve made enough money.”

Well, Barack, I think at this point YOU’VE made enough money, what with your Wall Street Prostitute speeches and the “book deal” plus the suspicious money that was long funneled to you from “admirers.” So from now on why don’t you lead by example and donate every penny you make to the suffering 99% who were left in even more dire straits by your time in office?  Continue reading

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