Monthly Archives: December 2013

NEW YEAR’S EVE BAD MOVIES FROM BALLADEER’S BLOG

Here at Balladeer’s Blog I’m very fond of cinematic turkeys that have seasonal tie-ins. Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas bombs have gotten ample attention from me, so permit me to follow those items up with this look at bad movies with a New Year’s Eve theme. As usual, full-length reviews of these films can be found on my Bad Movie page.

AKA Time Warp

AKA Time Warp

BLOODY NEW YEAR (1987) – Also released under the title Time Warp but it’s grisly enough for the more explicit title. A handful of British boaters who are fleeing a family of soccer hooligans (no, really) wind up on an island with a deserted hotel that’s been decorated for a New Year’s Eve party since the 1950’s. This Norman J Warren film stars nobody and borrows heavily from Sam Raimi’s original Evil Dead in terms of its imitation “Deadites” and its POV tracking shots. It also features a killer who emerges from a movie being watched, a monster who climbs out of a tablecloth, homicidal kitchen utensils, indoor snowfall, laughing shrubbery and living walls. All the chaos is being caused by hapless souls who have been trapped in limbo for decades and will do anything to get out or to drag others into their hellish undead existence with them.

Bloody New Year is a neglected bad movie classic that has all the Continue reading

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SULTRY TEDDI BARRETT IS RETURNING SOON IN MORDILLO BLUSH, PART TWO

Teddi Barrett as Edward Wozniak's Neo-Pulp heroine Mordillo Blush

Teddi Barrett as Edward Wozniak’s Neo-Pulp heroine Mordillo Blush

Teddi Barrett, the World’s Sexiest Woman, is returning soon in the 2nd pulse-pounding chapter of Mordillo Blush’s debut sci-fi adventure!  Millions of lives are in danger and our courageous and brilliant heroine Dr Blush is the Continue reading

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COLLEGE BASKETBALL RESULTS FROM DECEMBER 28th, 2013

Stevens Point Pointers logo1NUMBER ONE CONTINUES TO ROLL – The top-ranked team in the nation, the UW-STEVENS POINT POINTERS faced a dire threat yesterday from the WHITWORTH UNIVERSITY PIRATES. Whitworth actually led the venerable Pointers at Halftime by a score of 45-43 but Stevens Point came out in the 2nd Half focused and ready to play. When all was said and done the Pointers improved to 9-0 with a 93-75 victory.

424.png (136×104)TOP 25 UPSETS – The unranked MILLIKIN UNIVERSITY BIG BLUE welcomed the number 19 UW-STOUT BLUE DEVILS and toppled them 68-56 in a masterpiece of hardcourt defense. The Big Blue are now 6-4, the Blue Devils fall to 7-3.   ***   And the DICKINSON COLLEGE RED DEVILS were also ungracious hosts, upsetting the 23rd-ranked GUILFORD COLLEGE QUAKERS in an authoritative 90-75 affair. With this win the Red Devils improve to Continue reading

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TERROR TRAIN (1980) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT IN 1986

Terror Train

Terror Train

Before MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault!

Balladeer’s Blog continues its examination of this neglected cult show from the mid-1980’s. 

EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday December 27th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.

EXTRAS: Randy Clower and Richard Malmos, as machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class and members of the fictional Film Vault Corps (“the few, the proud, the sarcastic”) had two and a half hours to work with each week. Interviews with figures like Vincent Price, Forry Ackerman and others were featured and the movies being shown and mocked were often preceded by episodes of old Republic serials like Radar Men from the Moon and others. This episode featured Randy and Richard’s interview with Ben Johnson, whom they had interviewed at his ranch earlier in the year. Johnson also appeared in the episode’s film, Terror Train.

SERIAL: For this episode the movie was preceded by a chapter of Mysterious Doctor Satan

HOST SEGMENTS: The most memorable Host Segment  Randy and Richard did during this New Year’s-themed horror film was a bit where, as Midnight Dallas Time approached, they staged a countdown and then a raucous celebration of the arrival of … December 28th, 1986. Ken “Tex” Miller, Joe “The Hypnotic Eye” Riley and other Film Vault Corps members joined in the festivities in a great example of the wry humor of this pre-MST3K program.  

TERROR TRAIN (1980) – A New Year’s Eve slasher film set on a Continue reading

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COLLEGE FOOTBALL CHAMPIONS FOR 2013

Here’s one last round of congratulations to the 2013 college football champions in the seven divisions covered here at Balladeer’s Blog.

HELMETGrand_View_IANAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics)

2013 Champions: GRAND VIEW UNIVERSITY VIKINGS

Runners-up: University of the Cumberlands Patriots

2012 Champions: Marian University Knights

Azusa Pacific CougarsNCCAA (National Christian College Athletic Association)

2013 Champions: AZUSA PACIFIC UNIVERSITY COUGARS

Runners-up: Greenville College Panthers

2012 Champions: Continue reading

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A COSMIC CHRISTMAS (1977) AND SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS (1964)

A Cosmic ChristmasIn the middle 1980′s/ Way down on Level 31 …

Before MST3K there was The Texas 27 Film Vault! Balladeer’s Blog continues its examination of this neglected cult show from the 1980′s.

Last time around I reviewed the 1986 Christmas episode of Randy Clower and Richard Malmos’ late-night hit. This time around I’ll take a look at their 1985 Yuletide offering.

EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday December 21st, 1985 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.

SERIAL: Since this was a Christmas episode our heroes from the fictional Film Vault Corps (“the few, the proud, the sarcastic”) took a break from their pre-movie serial of the moment and instead showed and mocked a bizarre Canadian cartoon called A Cosmic Christmas from 1977. This hysterically dumb and Continue reading

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BARACK OBAMA: STILL THE SLEAZIEST U.S. PRESIDENT IN HISTORY!

Before ObamacareWelcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only site on the internet that equally criticizes BOTH American Liberals and American Conservatives. It’s no secret that Little Barry Obama is incredibly corrupt and incompetent. Some of the lowlights of the past week include the New York Times, a traditional Democratic Party outlet, once again finding it impossible to ignore what a catastrophe Obamacare is. The Times pointed out what a disaster Little Barry’s only alleged “accomplishment” is to the Middle Class and those just below.

Barack also admitted this week that he could not Continue reading

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