Monthly Archives: November 2015

AMERICAN KAIJU: THE AMAZING COLOSSAL MAN VS THE DEADLY MANTIS

The Deadly Mantis

The Deadly Mantis

Episode Five of cult director Eddie Wozniak’s hot new cable show American Kaiju airs tonight! This time around Glenn Manning, the 60-ft tall Colossal Man, will spar with another famous “big bug” from the 1950s.

The Colossal Man’s foe in tonight’s episode will be the 200-ft long praying mantis from the 1957 film The Deadly Mantis. The enormous prehistoric creature thaws out in northern Canada and goes on a destructive rampage.

The Canadian government asks the U.S. to send their operative Glenn Manning up north to stop the giant mantis, prompting the folks at the Area 51 headquarters of the Colossal Man to come up with some fast cold weather duds for the huge fellow. Continue reading

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CHRISTMAS CAROL-A-THON 2015 CONTINUES: VARIATIONS

Balladeer’s Blog continues its annual look at various versions of the Dickens classic A Christmas Carol! This particular item will examine episodes of television shows where the Carol was adapted to incorporate the program’s regular cast of characters.

wkrpWKRP IN CINCINNATI

Episode Title: Bah, Humbug

Original Broadcast Date: December 20th, 1980

Comment: Mr Carlson (Gordon Jump), the station owner, is the Scrooge stand-in in this fairly good sitcom version of the Carol.

Eating some of DJ Johnny Fever’s drug-laced brownies Carlson dreams about visits from the Ghost of Christmas Past – sexy Jennifer (Loni Anderson), Present – black DJ Venus Flytrap (Tim Reid) and Yet to Come – Dr Johnny Fever (Howard Hesseman).     Continue reading

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COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFFS AND BOWL RESULTS

* NAIA *

Southern Oregon RaidersDEFENDING CHAMPS SURVIVE – The SOUTHERN OREGON UNIVERSITY RAIDERS – the defending champions of NAIA football – traveled to face the BAKER UNIVERSITY WILDCATS in this 2nd Round game. A 7-0 1st Quarter lead for the Raiders became a 14-10 Halftime advantage. The 3rd Quarter ended with Southern Oregon up 21-13 and from there the champs held on to win the game 24-19.  

St Francis (IN)A TALE OF TWO HALVES – The UNIVERSITY OF SAINT FRANCIS (IN) COUGARS hosted the MONTANA TECH OREDIGGERS in a Jekyll and Hyde affair. The 1st Quarter ended in a 7-7 tie and at the break the Cougars and Orediggers were knotted up at 14-14. In the 3rd Quarter St Francis exploded for 28 points and went on to win by a final score of 42-20. Continue reading

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MWINDO: THE FINALE OF THIS AFRICAN EPIC

Balladeer’s Blog concludes its examination of this epic myth of the Nyanga people.

PART NINETEEN

MwindoThe lightning god Nkuba looked down from the sky and prepared to attack the semidivine hero Mwindo in order to avenge his (Nkuba’s) friend, the monster Kirimu. That seven- headed creature had been slain, cooked and served as a meal by Chief Mwindo for killing three of his devoted corps of Pygmies. 

The morning after the village of Tubondo had feasted upon the remains of Kirimu, Mwindo had a premonition of impending danger. He announced to his people that his supernatural senses had revealed to him that the bad-tempered god Nkuba had taken offense at his actions against the monster Kirimu. The lightning god was coming for revenge. Continue reading

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GOLD RUSH GO 4-0 AGAINST NCAA D2

XAVIERLAThe NAIA’s XAVIER (LA) UNIVERSITY GOLD RUSH have played and defeated FOUR basketball teams from NCAA Division Two so far this season.

Last night the Gold Rush defeated D2’s CLARK ATLANTA UNIVERSITY PANTHERS by a score of 85-72, led by 21 points from Morris Wright. With this win Xavier (LA) improves to 7-2 for the 2015-2016 season. Continue reading

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MISTER MAGOO’S CHRISTMAS CAROL: CAROL-A-THON 2015 BEGINS

Mr Magoo Christmas CarolBalladeer’s Blog’s 6th annual Christmas Carol-A- Thon begins with this little item I’m doing as a reader request. I had thought that Mr Magoo’s Christmas Carol was way too mainstream and well-known for me to review but I’ve been told it’s fallen off the radar for most people so here we go!

MR MAGOO’S CHRISTMAS CAROL (1962) – The nearly-blind one-joke cartoon figure called Mr Magoo was voiced by Jim Backus. The schtick in the character’s regular cartoon adventures was that his cosmic-level near-sightedness caused him to mistake a bowling alley for a laundromat or some similar mixup and slapstick hijinx would develop from there. Continue reading

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THANKSGIVING TURKEYS ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Randy Clower (right) with co-host Richard Malmos as "Film Vault Technicians First Class" on The Texas 27 Film Vault

Randy Clower (right) with co-host Richard Malmos as “Film Vault Technicians First Class” on The Texas 27 Film Vault. They’re way down on Level 31. No, not Deep 13 – Level 31.

Randy Clower and Richard Malmos of The Texas 27 Film Vault (both lower right) featured in a Movie Host article with Stella from Saturday Night Dead and Elvira.

Randy Clower and Richard Malmos of The Texas 27 Film Vault (both lower right) featured in a Movie Host article with Stella from Saturday Night Dead and Elvira.

The Texas 27 Film Vault was a great pre-MST3K bad movie show from the mid-1980s. The hosts Randy Clower and Richard Malmos (also the co-creators of the program) were members of the fictional quasi-military outfit called the Film Vault Corps – “the few, the proud, the sarcastic”. Ken Miller, who played the gung-ho Kilgore-esque Tex on the show was also a co-creator. Tragically Miller commited suicide in 1988.   

The Texas 27 Film Vault aired for 2 and 1/2 hours every Saturday night from 10:30pm to 1:00 am with Randy, Richard, Tex, Joe The Hypnotic Eye Riley and Laurie Savino the Mystery Clip Technician showing and mocking episodes of old Republic and Columbia serials before showing and mocking the night’s bad or campy movie.

Texas and Oklahoma loved this cult show and it’s rare for Sooners and Longhorns to agree on anything! Here’s a look at some of the more memorable episodes from The Texas 27 Film Vault history.  

It! The terror from beyond space 2IT! THE TERROR FROM BEYOND SPACE (1958)

Original Broadcast Date: July 12th, 1986

Serial: Atom Man vs Superman (1950) 

Host Segments: Most of the Host Segments in this episode centered around a touring troupe from the Film Vault Corps Academy in Leadville, Co. That troupe – the FVC Academy’s Little Theatre Group – was performing for Randy, Richard, Tex and the others. Joe Riley’s gore effects took center stage as the touring thespians presented comedic reenactments of classic scenes from movies about aliens, including the infamous chest-burster moment from Alien and an unappetizing moment from the 80s remake of The Thing

The gore in the Host Segments made this the first Texas 27 Film Vault episode to come with a “Viewer Discretion” warning. Their later presentation of the hilariously bad Friday the 13th Part 3 was another. 

Movie: It! The Terror From Beyond Space was a joyously bad black & white space travel film from the 1950s. A Martian monster has already wiped out all but one member of the first expedition to the Red Planet. Next up on the menu for this ET who sucks all moisture from his victims: the rescue expedition who belatedly arrive to save the crew of the preceding mission to Mars.   

Continue reading

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THIRTIETH ANNIVERSARY TEXAS TWENTY-SEVEN FILM VAULT THANKSGIVING EPISODE

Blood Freak (1972)

Blood Freak (1972)

In the middle 1980s/ Way down on Level 31 …

Before MST3K there was The Texas 27 Film Vault! Balladeer’s Blog continues its examination of this neglected cult show from the 1980s with another review of an episode where an original air date can be determined. This time around I’m taking a look at the show’s Thanksgiving episode from the Saturday night before Thanksgiving in 1985.

Randy and Richard showed and mocked Blood Freak, the notorious “Turkey Monster” movie that has been featured by virtually every Movie Host show except MST3K over the years. The Turkey Monster and the main character’s job at a turkey farm have made this a Thanksgiving Season favorite for lovers of bad movies. 

EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday November 23rd, 1985 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.

Blood Freak2FILM VAULT LORE: Our machine-gun toting members of the fictional Film Vault Corps Randy Clower and Richard Malmos used to joke about how The Texas 27 Film Vault seemed to show every movie that had the word “blood” in the title. Previously I’ve reviewed the T27FV episodes featuring the movies Queen of Blood and Blood Beach but there are plenty more coming with sanguinous titles.

Thank you to my fellow T27FV fan Dolores for this quote about Ken Miller, who played “Tex” on the show and who, tragically, committed suicide in 1988: “I loved the random bits of madness added by the gung ho Tex each episode! He always reminded me of Robert Duvall’s character Kilgore from Apocalypse Now. My favorite catch-phrase from Tex was when he would say “Commies don’t watch bad movies!” the way Duvall said “Charley don’t surf!” in Apocalypse Now.”  

Flash Gordon Conquers the UniverseSERIAL: Before showing and mocking the movie our Film Vault Technicians First Class showed and mocked a chapter of the 1940 serial Flash Gordon Conquers The Universe. Special thanks to my fellow Vaultie Channing for her providing the date and serial for this episode.  

THE FILM: BLOOD FREAK (1972) – This movie is about a man who turns into a murderous monster with the head of a turkey after he eats a Continue reading

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OBAMA: “ALAHU AKBAR REALLY MEANS ‘MY ACTIONS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ISLAM”

"My plan for dealing with the Islamic State? I will unleash my lethal Hashtag Fu on them!"

“My plan for dealing with the Islamic State? I will unleash my lethal Hashtag Fu on them! HI- YAAA!”

I’m neither a Democrat nor a Republican, so I can objectively point out that Barack Obama is the worst American President in history. Not only is he weak, inept and crooked but his premature withdrawal from Iraq spawned ISIS (Islamic State of Iraq and Syria) which Little Barry refers to as “ISIL” to grovel for Islam. 

Obama is a classroom blowhard who never had any experience in the real world. He bounced between the prolonged adolescence of the “academic” world to being a community organizer (lmao) to the white collar crime racket called politics. Even Democrat Dianne Feinstein has pointed out how inept his handling of the Middle East continues to be.  

DEATHS FROM MUSLIM TERRORISM HAVE QUADRUPLED UNDER OBAMA. ALL HE OFFERS IN RETURN IS HASHTAGS. Continue reading

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THE MOUSE ON THE MAYFLOWER (1968)

From the people who brought you The Titmouse on the Titanic

From the people who brought you The Titmouse on the Titanic

THANKSGIVING IS ALMOST HERE! ONE OF THE GREATEST HOLIDAYS OF THE YEAR!

And part of the fun comes from the kind of emotional cripples who froth at the mouth at the thought of people celebrating this particular holiday! (Stand by for my Columbus Day Extravaganza in 2016!)

THE MOUSE ON THE MAYFLOWER (1968) – Country western star Tennessee Ernie Ford narrates and supplies the voice of the title character – a Puritan mouse named Willum – who stows away on the Mayflower during its trip to America.

The little rodent (and coincidentally enough “little rodent” is also Michelle Obama’s pet name for Barack) also gets to participate in the first Thanksgiving celebration with a Native American mouse. Continue reading

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