Monthly Archives: December 2018

MORE PALADINS OF CHARLEMAGNE

CharlemagneYes, it’s round two of this Christmas-time tradition of examining the folklore surrounding Charlemagne and his Paladins (Knights). For the first installment click HERE   

And remember, this is the folklore, not the historical facts about Charlemagne and his empire.

Archbishop TurpinARCHBISHOP TURPIN OF RHEIMS – This Paladin was the legendary “Battling Bishop” who fought alongside Charlemagne and his other men in the field.

Turpin would take part in the battles, then clean up, don his robes and conduct masses of thanks to God for delivering another victory. Sort of a more badass version of Friar Tuck from Robin Hood legends.

OgierOGIER THE DANE – Though he would go on to serve as one of Charlemagne’s most storied Paladins, Ogier was born to Geoffrey, the first Christian King of Denmark. Shortly before the child was to be baptized, six beautiful fairy maidens appeared and took turns holding the infant in their arms before kissing him and passing him on to the next maiden in line.    

The first Fey gifted Ogier with bravery, the second with ample opportunities to serve in war, the third granted that he would never be vanquished in battle, the fourth gave him the gift of being pleasing for women to look upon and the fifth granted him the capacity to return the love he would inspire.

Morgana and young OgierThe sixth and youngest maiden was Morgana le Fey, who has a much different history in the legends of Charlemagne than in Arthurian lore. Morgana told the baby Ogier that she claimed him for her own (“imprinted” on him, you Twilight fans might say). She decreed that he would never die until he had come to visit her on the Isle of Avalon.

When Ogier was in his early teens emissaries from Charlemagne arrived in Denmark to demand a pledge of loyalty to Charlemagne as all the other Christian kingdoms had done. Geoffrey refused and so Charlemagne launched a military campaign which soon saw Geoffrey defeated and humbled.

To ensure Geoffrey’s continued loyalty his son Ogier was taken to live in Charlemagne’s court at first as a hostage, but soon the young man charmed Charlemagne and his nephew Roland. Ogier served alongside Roland as a Squire and eventually as a full Paladin.   Continue reading

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BEST OF APRIL 2018

Balladeer’s Blog’s End of Year Retrospective Continues with this look at The Best of April. 

Freedom of expression amnesty internationalFREE SPEECH, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES – Neither end of the political spectrum seems interested in defending freedom of expression except when their own point of view is in danger of being silenced.

Here at Balladeer’s Blog I deal with these issues all the time. Easily offended people from the political left to the political right are often outraged by what I write. CLICK HERE

End of the worldWITHIN AN ACE OF THE END OF THE WORLD (1900) – My review of this work of “ancient” science fiction was a hit with readers.

Robert Barr was the name of the author of this neglected item that dealt with apocalyptic concerns. What Barr’s previous work The Doom of London did for that city Within An Ace of the End of the World did for the entire planet. CLICK HERE

Polo Silhouette LogoPOLO: 2018 U.S. OPEN, GAMES ONE AND TWO – Balladeer’s Blog’s annual coverage of the U.S. Open in Polo attracted its usual share of attention.

Instead of the title game, like previous years, this year the most hits went to the opening two games pitting the Aviators against the Red Sleeves and the Valiants against the Association. CLICK HERE

donald-trump-and-flagTRUMP-HATERS: FASCISTS AND BUFFOONS – After two pieces of garbage like Barack Obama and George W Bush we got a de facto Third Party President in Donald Trump.

This post infuriated the stuffy, blustering fools who hate President Trump, the new FDR. That seems to be because they hate the working class and the poor whom Trump has helped and when they trash the Donald they are really expressing their resentment of the needy people that Trump has benefited. CLICK HERE 

Edward O HeinrichNEGLECTED DETECTIVES WHO SOLVED REAL-LIFE MYSTERIES – This item looked at a pair of baffling real-life mysteries that were solved decades ago by eccentric detectives as colorful as any in fiction.  

Ellis Parker tackled a puzzling murder and bank robbery in 1920, while Edward O Heinrich solved four murders that took place during a botched train robbery. Heinrich’s case happened in 1923. CLICK HERE  

Prisoner 1THE PRISONER: MORE RELEVANT THAN EVER BEFORE – This item kicked off my review of the 1967 science fiction/ existential drama The Prisoner.

This series has become more timely than ever here in the 21st Century. Part Orwell, part Kafka, part Pirandello and part Alphaville, The Prisoner paved the way for ground-breaking shows like Twin Peaks, The X-Files and Lost. CLICK HERE

American FlagPOLITICAL FORTUNE COOKIES – This was a popular one-shot item in which I took shots at Congressional Republicans, Barack Obama and many, many more.

To enjoy them, just CLICK HERE

Michael MooreMICHAEL MOORE: FAKE FRIEND TO THE WORKING CLASS – Pathetic, outdated Michael Moore STILL refuses to give away all but two million dollars of his bloated fortune to prove that he really cares about the 99 percent like he claims he does.

Moore is a whiny, hypocritical hatemonger and is despised by the working class that he claims to champion. CLICK HERE Continue reading

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CHRISTMAS CAROL-A-THON SONG: “SING A CHRISTMAS CAROL” FROM SCROOGE

Balladeer’s Blog’s 9th Annual Christmas Carol-A-Thon continues with this song from the 1970 musical Scrooge

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DEFY DEMOCRAT DOGMA: WE DON’T HAVE TO ACCEPT THEIR OPINIONS AS FACTS

mascot new look donkey and elephant headsHere at Balladeer’s Blog I have repeatedly pointed out that the Democrats have trapped themselves in a faith-based worldview that is as dogmatic and irrational as any religion. They seem to feel that the rest of us are only as free as they permit us to be. 

What I find unforgivable is the way they have become so intolerant and totalitarian that they seek to ostracize, isolate or destroy anyone who points out their flawed thinking. With “news” outlets and Silicon Valley technofascists helping them it’s like living in a theocracy run by left-wing Archie Bunkers.    

THE REST OF US DO NOT HAVE TO LIVE ACCORDING TO THE FALSE PREMISES AND IRRATIONAL ASSERTIONS OF DEMOCRATS.

*** DEMOCRATS IRRATIONALLY INSIST THAT THERE IS SUCH A THING AS “THE RIGHT SIDE OF HISTORY” AND, CONVENIENTLY, THEY PRETEND THAT ALL OF THEIR POLITICAL POSITIONS PLACE THEM ON THAT SIDE. It’s tough to list all the ways that this absurd assertion is wrong. First, any perspective on “the right side of history” depends on how many years ahead you go.

For instance, people opposing the rise of the Nazis in the late 1920s could have found Nazis taunting them that their opposition placed them “on the wrong side of history.” Go forward two more decades and those taunts – like today’s silly jibes of pretentious Democrats – are exposed for what they really are.

Second, the Democrats insist on practicing censorship, black-listing, destruction of due process, and prejudicial treatment based purely on people’s skin colors. Such practices have never put ANYONE on that fictional “right side of history.”

Third, Democrats’ loud, preening obsession with being “on the right side of history” is really just a cowardly endorsement of surrendering to the seeming inevitable – no matter how short-lived that inevitability turns out to be. (Again, think of opponents of the Nazis in the late 1920s.) How about having enough backbone to form YOUR OWN positions without regard to the speculated viewpoints of people in the far future?    

SnobFourth, Democrats assert that being on “the right side of history” means striving to live their lives in such a way that people every bit as pretentious and snobbish as they are will sit around in the future sipping wine and pompously expressing approval of the worldview and political opinions that today’s Democrat Fundamentalists held while alive. No one alive today knows how the people of the future will feel about any of us or about our worldview.

If anything history has shown that people – ESPECIALLY the self-congratulatory asses called Democrats – take great delight in loudly and repeatedly condemning people of the past for (GASP) having opinions that differ from their own. It takes no courage and little effort to put on an air of moral superiority toward long-dead human beings.

That being said it’s more likely that Democrats of the future will look down on even the most self-consciously “progressive” Puritans of today as hopelessly misguided or simply ignorant.

Those future Democrat Fundamentalists very well may just sit around sipping wine and reassuring each other that they are morally superior to every Democrat of this era for not having THE EXACT SAME opinions as they do regarding race, gender, etc . Exactly like pompous Democrats of today do with people of the past. 

The obsessive conformity, status-anxiety and insecurities of Democrats prevent them from questioning their narrow-minded political dogma and thereby realizing that their own condemnation of figures from long ago is every bit as much of a shallow, meaningless pose as the attitude that may be shown by Democrats of the future.      Continue reading

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IROQUOIS EPIC MYTH PART TEN: THE CANNIBAL WIZARDS

FOR CHAPTER LINKS CLICK HERE

pile of human bonesHODADEION PART 10 – THE CANNIBAL WIZARDS – Now safely on the northern side of Niagara Falls following his battle with the whirlwind, the demigod Hodadeion continued walking toward the northeast.

The god of magic knew he was getting closer and closer to the home village of the cannibal wizards who had abducted his younger brother, the wampum god Otgoe. Hodadeion could tell that from the greater frequency with which he came upon empty villages which the cannibal wizards had depopulated by feasting on all the inhabitants.  Continue reading

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COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEMIFINALS IN D2 AND D3

The NAIA Championship Game is set for next Saturday between Morningside College and Benedictine College.

NCAA DIVISION TWO

Valdosta_StFIRST SEMIFINAL – The VALDOSTA STATE BLAZERS welcomed the NOTRE DAME COLLEGE FALCONS yesterday. The Blazers grabbed a 9-0 lead in the opening Quarter only to see the Falcons eke out a 10-9 edge by Halftime. Valdosta State exploded for a 30-17 advantage to end the 3rd Quarter, then held on from there for a 30-24 triumph. The Blazers showed once again why the Gulf Coast Conference is called “the SEC of D2 Football.” Continue reading

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BEST OF MARCH 2018

Balladeer’s Blog’s End of Year Retrospective Continues with this look at The Best of March.

Anni on ShariaANNI CYRUS, IRANIAN-BORN CRITIC OF SHARIA LAW – Another member of the real-life League of Extraordinary Women, Anni Cyrus was in the news again, this time for her 2018 Anti-Sharia Law Tour.

As ever, the courageous Cyrus had to endure all manner of threats from reactionary Muslim fascists AND from privileged white women who pretend they’re “heroic” by engaging in childish Handmaid’s Tale cos-play. Meanwhile the Democrats on college campuses worked to block TRULY heroic Anni Cyrus’ talks by claiming she promotes “Islamophobia” or by saying they couldn’t guarantee her safety from mobs of fascist Democrats. CLICK HERE

Jet Benny ShowTHE JET BENNY SHOW – Balladeer’s Blog’s reviews of bad and weird movies are still very popular.

This one addressed The Jet Benny Show, a bizarre attempt at comedy which fused Star Wars with The Jack Benny Show. The result was horrendous in all kinds of ways. CLICK HERE 

Shotgun ZieglerNON-DILLINGER: QUICK TAKES ON OTHER GANGSTERS OF HIS ERA – In keeping with Balladeer’s Blog’s tradition of examining topics which slip through the cultural cracks this blog post looked at some of the 1930s gangsters overshadowed by John Dillinger’s legend.

Figures like Two-Gun Crowley, Jelly Nash, the Tri-State Terror and others are featured in this item from March. CLICK HERE 

Ratings GameTHE RATINGS GAME – I reviewed this overlooked comedy from 1984.

Danny DeVito and Rhea Perlman starred in this hilarious sendup of the perpetually flawed television ratings process which enables some truly absurd programs to thrive while more thoughtful efforts get quick cancellations. CLICK HERE 

Sharyl AttkissonJOURNALIST SHARYL ATTKISSON’S COURAGEOUS EXPOSURE OF OBAMA’S COUNTLESS SCANDALS AND CRIMES – Strong female role model and 21st Century Ida Tarbell, Sharyl Attkisson refused to be intimidated by the Obama Administration’s thugs.

Even now she continues her heroic exposure of the weak, inept and crooked little man named Barack Obama. CLICK HERE

Jimmy Kimmell fat pigJIMMY KIMMEL: THE BALLADEER’S BLOG INTERVIEW – Relentlessly unfunny waste of biomass Jimmy Kimmel is a truly disgusting human being.

Jimmy gets the kind of unfair treatment he gutlessly dishes out on his show, where he controls the final broadcast product and rigs it to make himself look like he actually knows what he’s talking about. CLICK HERE 

Urkel

UNITED STATES PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

OBAMA’S PRESIDENTIAL PORTRAIT – The controversy surrounding the decapitation porn artist that weak, inept and crooked little Barack Obama had paint his presidential portrait got covered in this blog post.

The timing of this portrait’s unveiling was cosmically bad.

It came out in the middle of revelations about previously covered-up details of Obama’s horrific Iran Deal AND the way he permitted a drug ring run from the middle east to thrive on our southern border to avoid embarrassing reactionary Muslim fascists. CLICK HERE   

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CHRISTMAS CAROL-A-THON SONG: DECEMBER THE 25th FROM SCROOGE

Balladeer’s Blog’s 9th Annual Christmas Carol-A-Thon rolls along, as today brings a look at an individual song from one of the many adaptations of the Carol. It’s December the 25th from Scrooge (1970).  

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JUSTICE SOCIETY 4: INITIATION

Christmas Season kid-friendliness romps along with the 4th installment of the very FIRST superhero team in history: DC’s Justice Society of America. FOR PART ONE CLICK HERE

I will review the original issue and then detail how I would “script-doctor” the story for modern audiences.

All-Star 6ALL-STAR COMICS #6 (August 1941)

Title: THE JSA INITIATES JOHNNY THUNDER

Heroes: GREEN LANTERN (Original), HOURMAN, ATOM (Original), JOHNNY THUNDER, HAWKMAN (Original), DOCTOR FATE, FLASH (Original), SPECTRE, SANDMAN

Villains: Assorted Criminal Gangs

Synopsis: The Flash announces he is stepping down as the team’s Chairman. The Justice Society of America initiates Johnny Thunder, the Jar Jar Binks of the time, as a full member of the team. Naturally the JSA members all wind up having to bail out Johnny against the criminals he faces, yet they still welcome him to the team.

Hourman 2The heroes have to save Johnny from counterfeiters, bank robbers, extortionists, thieves dressed in gorilla costumes and headless zombies created by a mad scientist. (Shades of G-8 and His Battle Aces!) In the end, with all the criminals defeated, Johnny Thunder becomes a full member of the JSA. God knows why.

How I Would Revise It: Continue reading

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JOY BEHAR’S FAVORITE TRUMP BOOK FOR CHRISTMAS: TRUMP’S ENEMIES

Joy Behar IdiotJoy Behar, whose pitch-perfect impression of hate-filled, slobbering anti-Trump fascists has made her famous, recently told a Balladeer’s Blog reporter during an interview that never happened that she has a book recommendation for Christmas.

Joy Behar’s favorite Donald Trump book is titled Trump’s Enemies: How The Deep State Is Undermining The Presidency.

Trump's EnemiesJowly Joy enthusiastically called it “A terrific look at the cesspool of corruption which masquerades as the American government. De facto Third Party President Donald Trump is uniquely qualified to rock the crooked DC boat since he is NOT a career politician like all the other Made Members of America’s Criminal Class of Officeholders.” 

Or maybe I was the one who blurted that out. It’s all a blur now. But at any rate TRUMP’S ENEMIES can be bought HERE 

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