Tag Archives: WE NEED THIRD PARTIES

MOCK NEWS STORIES: SOME EXCERPTS

truth is the new hate speechBalladeer’s Blog takes a break from mock headlines to do random lines from mock news stories.

*** “You’re making us feel unsafe,” the howling mob of Democrats screamed as they  savagely beat the elderly, handicapped Trump supporter.  

*** “And, in what the UK government is calling Operation: Watership Down, the authorities will be clamping down on anyone caught expressing anger against the perpetrators of the latest terrorist attack. ‘Masochistic self-flagellation and empty bromides about coexistence are the ONLY permissible responses,’ Theresa May warned.

*** “George Will and Bill Kristol praised Republican Speaker of the House Paul Ryan for his ongoing efforts to – as Will put it ‘Thwart the will of the voters and return the GOP to its proper role as the party of stuffy, clueless white men in suits.’ This was followed by Kristol jumping in with ‘Damn Trump for attracting more African-American and Latino voters than just about any other Republican has in nearly a century.”

*** “Mrs Clinton nodded and agreed that she has to publicly perpetuate the possibility of running again in 2020 in order to keep bribes flowing her way.”

*** “In general the decision itself was considered bad enough but the 4th Circuit Judges went further and said ‘We considered literally urinating on the graves of all the dead victims of Muslim terror attacks, especially from phony refugees, but decided that doing so might push you sheep to the point where you finally realize how thoroughly we laugh at you each and every day … Don’t be late paying your taxes now, you hear!”

“And, they added with glee, ‘DON’T YOU PEASANTS EVER FORGET THAT THE CONSTITUTION PROTECTS THE MUSLIM FASCISTS WHO WANT TO KILL YOU, BUT NEVER YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES!”   Continue reading

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MSNBC CLUMSILY LEARNS THAT VOTERS AREN’T BUYING THE RUSSIAN CONSPIRACY SILLINESS

Wile E Coyote signRachel Maddow may secretly be working for United States President Donald Trump. I’m kidding of course, but she happened to be at the Propaganda Desk on MSNBC once again when the increasingly insane American media learned that people in the real world aren’t reacting to President Trump the way they keep trying to force us to.

Previously Maddow sat there looking ridiculous when her “big scoop” about Trump’s tax returns turned into a PR coup for Trump because the returns showed that he paid an 8-figure sum in taxes AND that he paid his taxes at a higher rate than most of the bloated rich pigs and movie actors who have been frothing at the mouth since the Donald defeated Hillary “Bugsy” Clinton. Hilarious!

The latest Wile E Coyote moment that Maddow was at the Propaganda Desk for was a bit where the MSNBC folks took it live for citizen interviews and learned that “the people in the street” are yawning at this media-created conspiracy theory about President Trump supposedly having committed an impeachable offense! Too funny!

Here is the link: Continue reading

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PRESIDENT TRUMP: INFURIATING ALL THE RIGHT PEOPLE

Trump doing rightHere at Balladeer’s Blog I am still having the time of my life watching as United States President Donald Trump, the Richard Channing of Presidents, continues overturning the ugly rocks of America’s cesspool of political corruption.

I will say once again that the 24/7 assault on Trump from both Democrats and Republicans continually validates his outsider status. WHETHER IT IS DONALD TRUMP OR ANYONE ELSE WHO TRIES TO DRAIN THE SWAMP THIS IS THE WAY A LEGITIMATE THREAT TO “CROOKED BUSINESS AS USUAL”WILL BE TREATED.

Mascot with demo and repub heads

The symbol of the nonexistent Balladeer Political Party

 

THE POWERS THAT BE ARE NOT GOING TO COME RIGHT OUT AND SAY “WE ARE ATTACKING THIS FIGURE FOR DARING TO SPEAK FOR THE WORKING CLASS THE WAY NO PRESIDENT HAS SINCE FRANKLIN ROOSEVELT.”  

NO, THEY WILL DO EXACTLY WHAT THEY HAVE BEEN DOING TO TRUMP. IT IS STILL WAY TOO EARLY TO SEE HOW THIS WILL ALL TURN OUT, BUT IT WOULD ACTUALLY BE BAD NEWS IF THEY LOVED TRUMP BECAUSE IT WOULD MEAN HE HAS SOLD OUT. 

AND HEY, REMEMBER THE ONE AND ONLY THING TRUMP HAS BEEN PRAISED FOR BY BOTH POLITICAL PARTIES WAS LOBBING SOME MISSILES INTO SYRIA. If that didn’t put things into clearer perspective for overseas readers I don’t know what will.  

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ANTI-TRUMP MANIACS ARE AS FUNNY AS EVER!

Comey cartoonIt’s so cute when Democrats pretend they actually care about healthcare for the poor and the working class and about governmental integrity. It’s as much fun as watching a bad movie to watch the DemoKKKrats’ phony outrage over getting rid of the disaster called Obamacare (As I mentioned a few days ago the hypocritical Democrats never cared about the poor people suffering and dying under Obamacare).  

Even more hilarious is the ridiculous back and forth the Democrats keep going through over former FBI Director Jim Comey. The inimitable Mark Steyn ridiculed DemCorp’s hypocrisy masterfully:

“Comey’s not going to charge Hillary? What a stand-up guy! The very model of a dedicated public servant!

“Comey’s re-opened the Hillary investigation? What a partisan hack! He’s just thrown the election to Trump! This is literally a police state!

“Comey’s investigating Trump’s ties to Russia? Thank God! This career civil servant is all that stands between us and that fascist dictator!

“Comey’s fingering Huma Abedin for forwarding emails to Carlos Danger? God, this Trump stooge won’t let up, will he?

“Trump’s fired Comey? How dare he? This is a crisis for the integrity of our institutions…

“Not surprisingly it’s hard for these poor folk to keep up – to the point where Stephen Colbert had to rebuke his audience for cheering his announcement that Comey had been fired. ” (Click the link.)

That last part’s not a joke, by the way. The relentlessly unfunny Colbert was visibly upset that his audience of stooges thought that – since the Democrats have been blaming Comey for Hillary’s loss – they should cheer his firing! They forgot that the increasingly insane American Left MUST interpret every move President Trump makes as if it qualifies as an impeachable offense.

You can’t make this stuff up! Trump is so good at playing the Establishment’s Outrage Machine like a violin he should REHIRE Comey tomorrow just for laughs. Continue reading

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EVEN MORE MOCK TRUMP HEADLINES

Before ObamacareFIFTY PERCENT OF ALL CAR ACCIDENTS ARE CAUSED BY DONALD TRUMP’S NEGLIGENCE. THE OTHER FIFTY PERCENT HE CAUSES INTENTIONALLY!

DEMOCRATS INSIST TRUMP SHOULD BE IMPEACHED FOR DOING WHAT ALL PREVIOUS PRESIDENTS HAVE DONE!

SHOCKING POLL REVEALS THAT PEOPLE WHO HATED TRUMP YESTERDAY STILL HATE HIM TODAY!

obama obamacare jokeDEMOCRATS PROCLAIM “IF YOU’RE NOT WITH US, YOU’RE AGAINST US!”

DEMOCRATS FOLLOW THAT PROCLAMATION UP BY SAYING “PEOPLE SHOULD BE MADE TO AGREE … WITH US, THAT IS. ALL THE TIME. IF THEY KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR THEM”

SO THIS IS HOW LIBERTY DIES … AT THE HANDS OF FASCIST MOBS WHO REFUSE TO ACCEPT ELECTION RESULTS

Obamacare corpseAMERICAN COMEDIANS LOSE ABILITY TO BE FUNNY – INSIST ALL PUNCHLINES TO ALL JOKES MUST EXPRESS RABID HATRED OF TRUMP. OR YOU’LL NEVER WORK AGAIN.

DEMOCRATS DEFIANTLY BOAST “THE PEOPLE WHO DIED UNDER OBAMACARE MEAN NOTHING TO US! WE CAN’T EXPLOIT THEIR DEATHS!” 

PAUL KRUGMAN BLAMES HIS SMALL PENIS ON TRUMP Continue reading

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HILLARY CLINTON: POSTER CHILD FOR WHITE PRIVILEGE

Yes, when Hillary “Bugsy” Clinton isn’t grabbing Justice by the pussy she continues to trot out the same old excuses for her humiliating loss to Donald Trump. Since Crooked Hillary spouts nothing but the same old thing here’s a re-post of my late 2016 item about THE HILLARY CLINTON EXCUSE CALENDAR FOR 2017.

Hey, when this 21st Century Marie Antoinette gets new material so will I!

hillary-clinton-excusesCareer criminal Hillary Clinton continues to blame everyone but herself for her humiliating loss to Donald Trump this year. One of the hot-selling items headed into the New Year is a calendar on which each day features one of the Hillarytron’s whiny, self-serving excuses.

You’ll get three hundred sixty-five gems like:

THE RUSSIANS FORCED HILLARY TO RUN A FAKE CHARITY, ACCEPT BRIBES AND MISHANDLE CLASSIFIED INFORMATION!

THE VOTES OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS SHOULD BE THE ONLY VOTES THAT COUNT!

MALE VOTERS FELT THREATENED BY A WOMAN LIKE HILLARY WHO LIVES OFF THE ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF HER HUSBAND!

HILLARY’S SHRILL VOICE WAS SO HIGH-PITCHED ONLY DOGS COULD HEAR HER LIES AND PROMISES.

map

… … RED – Trump, Blue – Hillary

ISOLATED, HEAVILY POPULATED POCKETS OF POMPOUS SNOBS AND BLOATED RICH PIGS SHOULD GET TO DICTATE HOW THE REST OF THE COUNTRY LIVES!

BLACK VOTERS FORGOT WE DEMOCRATS OWN THEM LIKE WE DID ON OUR PLANTATIONS!

OBAMA TOLD HILLARY IT WAS A GOOD STRATEGY TO CALL MOST OF THE COUNTRY “A BASKET OF DEPLORABLES.”

AMERICANS ARE BIASED AGAINST CAREER CRIMINALS LIKE HILLARY!

UPPITY ORANGE PEOPLE LIKE TRUMP LOVE TO PLAY IDENTITY POLITICS! Continue reading

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TRUMP BATTLES FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION AND SAVES CHILDREN FROM MICHELLE OBAMA’S IDIOTIC WHIMS

Mascot with demo and repub heads

The symbol of the nonexistent Balladeer Political Party

As always, Balladeer’s Blog would be happy to see BOTH the Republican AND Democratic Parties die off. If our de facto Third Party President Donald Trump can aid in that process, what’s not to like?

Anyway, United States President Donald Trump – or Richard Channing from Falcon Crest as I like to think of him – continues battling that misogynistic and reactionary Muslim obsession with mutilating the genitals of women here in the U.S. I’ll soon post a larger story about the demented Detroit butcher whose operation damaged the bodies of untold numbers of young Muslim women.

richard-channingTrump also continues pushing for universal paid maternity leave, which would have him hailed as Emperor if he was part of DemCorp but has been ignored since – like so many of us – Trump left the Democrats in disgust long ago. Needless to say Republicans are fighting Trump tooth and nail on his desire for universal paid maternity leave, which we should have had LONG ago.

And, lastly, Continue reading

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