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KALTHAR: NEGLECTED SUPERHERO

Superhero movies continue to dominate at the box office, so Balladeer’s Blog figured it was time to look at another neglected comic book star: in this case Kalthar, from MLJ Publishing. FOR MY BIG LIST OF NEGLECTED MLJ SUPERHEROES CLICK HERE

KaltharKALTHAR THE GIANT MAN

Secret Identity: None. Kalthar is his real name. 

Origin: The father of the infant who would become known as Kalthar the Giant Man gave his life saving the Urgana African tribe from Muslim slave traders. To thank the dead hero for his role in keeping them free the Urgana people raised his infant son as one of their own and named the child Kalthar.

As he reached adulthood Kalthar formed a Tarzan-like bond with all the jungle animals around the Urganas’ Congo River locale. Kalthar so impressed Ta-Lo, the High Priest of the tribe, that the medicine man chose the adopted young man to receive the gift of the secret grains which Urgana medicine men discovered in the jungle. Those grains enabled Kalthar to grow to giant size and helped him battle evil-doers throughout Africa.     

First Appearance: Zip Comics number 1 (February 1940). His final Golden Age appearance came in 1941.

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JUST ONE WEEK TILL 2018 COLLEGE FOOTBALL BEGINS!

One week from today the 2018 college football season kicks off in the divisions covered here at Balladeer’s Blog. Some of the games scheduled for next Thursday night:

NAIA

Rocky Mountain CollegeThe 20th ranked ROCKY MOUNTAIN COLLEGE BATTLIN’ BEARS will be hosting the CARROLL (MT) COLLEGE FIGHTING SAINTS. It’s a risky opening week clash between two Frontier Conference teams.

southwestern assemblies of god helmetThe number 22 team in the nation, the SOUTHWESTERN ASSEMBLIES OF GOD UNIVERSITY LIONS, will take it on the road against the (RV) EVANGEL UNIVERSITY CRUSADERS. Crucial early season positioning is on the line in this battle.

Dakota State Trojans helmet NEWAt number 25 are the DAKOTA STATE TROJANS, who travel to face the DAKOTA WESLEYAN UNIVERSITY TIGERS (should be the Blue Tigers). This matchup will be the Midco Sports Network’s Game of the Week. Continue reading

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AUGUST 15th: THE MOON GODDESS AND YI THE DIVINE ARCHER

 I.WHAT’S UP WITH YI?  – Yi the Divine Archer from Chinese mythology deserves to be remembered in one breath with some of the other great heroes and monster slayers from belief systems around the world. Most people are only familiar with his feat of shooting down multiple suns that appeared in the sky one day, but this article will provide a light- hearted look at all of his fantastic adventures. 

Yi is pronounced “Yee” according to some sources, but according to others it’s pronounced “EEE”, so you can insert your own Ned Beatty joke here. (Mine would go like this:  REDNECK: C’mon, ya fat little hog, what’s the name of the Divine Archer in Chinese mythology?    NED BEATTY: EEEEEE! )

Yi was of semi- divine birth, but since “Yi the Semi- Divine Archer” doesn’t have the same ring to it, we’ll stick to his better- known nickname. Yi performed most of his heroic feats for the Chinese ruler Yao, the godling son of the supreme deity Huang Di. Yao would be remembered as the first of the Three Sage Kings in Chinese legends.   

2. OFF- BROADWAY – Two of Yi’s earliest adventures after reaching manhood presented him with the weapons he would be most associated with forever after. Yi saved the people of Yao’s kingdom from a monstrous tiger, from whose bones he carved his indestructible bow. Conveniently his next adventure involved slaying a rogue dragon, from whose tendons he crafted thousands of unbreakable shafts, then affixed arrowheads and feathers to the two ends.  Continue reading

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THE POLICE: DE DO DO DO, DE DA DA DA

Balladeer’s Blog’s bit Give Them A Shoutout Before They’re Dead returns with this shoutout to the Police and their song De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da – The lyrics are more relevant than ever.  

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SHARK GOD OF FIJI: NDAKUWANG-GA

For more than 20 other gods from Fiji see my blog post HERE 

Ndakuwang gaNDAKUWANG-GA – The chief shark god of Fiji. Ndakuwang-Ga established his preeminence by defeating in battle all the other shark deities which guarded particular islands. The only figure to ever beat Ndakuwang-Ga in combat was the octopus god of Kandavu Island. For centuries fishermen from there were considered immune to any and all shark attacks.

Though Ndakuwang-Ga mostly travels in the form of a shark his true form is that of a handsome, muscular Fijian man. His tattoos reveal his godly nature. 

Just as a rainbow on land is attributed to the supreme deity Ndengei a rainbow at sea is credited to Ndakuwang-Ga. Supposedly this shark god and all his subordinate shark deities take the thighs of all their human victims to the reef near Yandua for the shark-priests to retrieve and eat. 

The cycle of myths involving Ndakuwang-Ga features countless instances of him saving his worshippers from sinking ships at sea by letting them ride his back to shore. A reverse of that situation involved a canoe-full of Fijians from Yasawa who paddled to an island rich with coconuts, this deity’s favorite offering. The travelers failed to give any to the shark-god so in revenge he overturned their canoe and devoured all but their leader. That man was condemned to labor for eternity at Nathawa, Yandua,  making and serving coconut offerings to Ndakuwang-Ga. Continue reading

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NEIL BREEN’S LATEST FILM: TWISTED PAIR (2018)

neil breen 2My fellow Human Breens will be thrilled to hear that the one, the only Neil Breen (PBUH) has released his latest cinematic effort. He once again wrote, starred and directed. This addition to the Breeniverse is titled Twisted Pair and features Neil sharing the starring role with the only man who could possibly hold their own with him on the big screen: himself.

As if one Neil Breen pompously setting straight the human race about what moral lepers we are wasn’t enough we now get Breen Times Two or Breen Squared or however you would prefer to describe it. Neil portrays identical twins Keith and Kale, who merge with a form of Artificial Intelligence, gain super powers from it and then set out to save humanity from itself. Same ol’ same ol’ in other words.

We get some Sheer Breenius right off the bat as the twins are listed in the credits as Keith and Kale but are referred to as KANE and Kale in the dialogue. Don’t ever change, Neil.

Anyway, Keith (Or Kane) and Kale are “Identical Neil Breens/ All the way/ They walk alike/ They fly alike/ They even give tiresome lectures with an air of moral superiority alike/ … What a Twisted Pair!/ You will lose your mind/ When Neil Breen/ Is Two of a Kiiiind!” 

twisted pairConflict is the essence of drama, of course, and though Keith and Kale just KNOW they are the Supreme Breens fit to reform humanity the twins disagree about the way to approach their mission. The two members of this Breen Trust clash when one of them decides the human race must be browbeaten into submission while the other decides that the human race must be SAVAGELY browbeaten into submission. Fifty Shades of Grey takes on new meaning here.

Anyway, in Twisted Pair the number of computers destroyed may be larger while the body count and the women’s breasts may be smaller but otherwise it’s pretty much Breen-ness as usual.

Remember the tagline to the Christopher Reeve Superman movie: “You’ll believe a man can fly.” Well in Twisted Pair you WON’T believe how hard you’ll laugh when you see Keith and Kale fly. If you’re a heathen who’s not familiar with the Breen Scene my look at his first four films can be found HERE 

The Twisted Pair trailer is below:  Continue reading

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LOST MOONA LISA FOOTAGE HAS SURFACED

Moona Lisa with skullThank you to reader Peahix for letting me know about this. Moona Lisa aka Lisa Clark, one of the many Movie Hosts that Balladeer’s Blog has covered over the years, has often lacked the acclaim she deserves because of the scarcity of footage that still exists from her shows (Science Fiction Theater, Moona’s Midnight Madness, etc).

Long-time readers of Balladeer’s Blog will remember when I first contacted her years ago and many of you were very nice with your concern about her health issues. For newbies Moona Lisa’s hosting shtick was that she was a Moon Maiden who lived in her own private moonbase with a view of planet Earth outside her window.

Moona Lisa in stairwellShe would host bad and campy movies while vamping it up and offering wry commentary on the “so bad they’re good” flicks she would present. She had a 12-year run from the 1960s into the 1970s, putting her nicely in the middle between the reigns of Vampira and Elvira.

NOTE: THIS FOOTAGE IS IN U-MATIC VIDEO FORMAT TAPED ON A U-MATIC MACHINE. Those recorders were used from the late 1960s onward for several years. (Think of the one used in the William Shatner episode of Columbo.) The footage will need converted.

Moona Lisa posingI am tempted to buy it but as many of you know that would mean the footage would never get posted online. I can’t stand the thought of ever dealing with YouTube or similar sites because of their arbitrary way of frequently taking down videos over real or imaginary copyright issues.

Point being that if I buy the footage and convert it I will review it, but I won’t post it anywhere online. So, for those of you annoyed at the way I don’t post my episodes of The Texas 27 Film Vault or some of my obscure versions of A Christmas Carol here is your chance to get this footage or recommend it to someone you know who DOES have a YouTube channel.    

For more info see below. This Moona Lisa footage is being sold at this link: Continue reading

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