Category Archives: humor

RANDOM WEIRDNESS: JAPAN’S LOOK AT AMERICAN HISTORY

My fellow fans of J-Horror know that Japan practically invented weirdness. What none of us knew is how far back they go with that mastery of entertaining madness.

John Adams fighting a giant snakeTheir view of American history is mind-boggling. This 1861 work of “J-History” if you will, features little-known events like JOHN ADAMS FACING A GIANT SNAKE (left) and George Washington hitting a tiger. It also corrects the mistaken assumption that Washington’s wife was named Martha when her real name was apparently “Carol.” (?)  

Balladeer’s Blog’s Presidential Action and Horror Films bit only WISHES it could be this mind-bending. Credit Nick Kapur with drawing attention to this item from the Waseda University Library.

My favorite part: the illustration of Benjamin Franklin casually HOLDING A CANNON IN HIS ARMS while firing it at a squadron of Red Coats! Now that’s badass. And begs for a movie – “The Rock IS Benjamin Franklin!” And he’d have to follow up blowing away the Brits with an action hero quip like “A penny saved is a penny earned, you bastards!”  

To see every page of this acid trip AND Continue reading

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Filed under humor, Neglected History, Samurai Films

AMERICAN PRESIDENTS EISENHOWER THROUGH TRUMP

Mascot with demo and repub headsA large number of first-time readers have discovered Balladeer’s Blog recently and some of them have expressed confusion since I trash both Republicans and Democrats. Here’s one of my biggest hits – a tongue-in-cheek look at U.S. Presidents from Eisenhower to Trump so newbies can see that, yes, Virginia, I DO take shots at both major political parties.

  

EisenhowerDWIGHT EISENHOWER

Character Type: Well-meaning but befuddled sitcom grandfather.

Military Service: World War One and World War Two

Motto: “FOOORE!” (Remember,  the traditional cry as you’re teeing off in golf? Oh, never mind!)

Nickname: Uncle Milty

Pro: Knew enough to distrust Richard Nixon long before it became the national pasttime. 

Con: Was the first president to pronounce nuclear as “nucular”.

john f kennedyJOHN F KENNEDY

Character Type: Rich playboy who disdained both Liberals and Conservatives and played by his own rules.

Military Service: World War Two

Motto: “Thank God for television!”

Nickname: FDR  

Pro: The man was shrewd enough to distrust both liberals and conservatives equally. I can’t praise that attitude highly enough given our present circumstances.  Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion, Presidential Rap Sheets

DONALD DRAINS THE SWAMP: TERRIFIC BOOK FOR KIDS AND ADULTS ALIKE

Donald Drains The SwampEric Metaxas has launched his new series of books about a heroic caveman named Donald who defies corrupt swamp creatures to save his people.

Donald Drains The Swamp is the first installment. Ostensibly a children’s book this clever work will also appeal to adults in the most masterful way since Walt Kelly’s Pogo the Possum combined child-like whimsy with incisive political commentary.

Needless to say, the swamp creatures encountered by Metaxas’ hero Donald are much more malevolent than Pogo’s acquaintances in the Okefenokee Swamp. I don’t want to give away too many jokes from this gem of a book, but I would recommend it for all ages. The illustrations are by Tim Raglin.  

TO BUY DONALD DRAINS THE SWAMP CLICK HERE    

Drain the Swamp

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

RANDOM WEIRDNESS V

OUT – Rapping their knuckles with a ruler.  IN – Pumping the little bastards full of lead.

Cleopatra Wong

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SUPERCUT OF NEW DEMOCRAT SLOGANS

Mascot with demo and repub headsBalladeer’s Blog’s readers have spoken! You’ve asked for a long, “super-cut” collection of all my New Democrat Slogans blog posts in one entry. We’ll start out with a few brand-new ones followed by all the previous mock slogans.

Anyway, Democrats have become such repulsive people that I like to “raise awareness” with them regarding the fact that their pompous snobbery is itself the type of bigotry they pretend to oppose.

DEMOCRATS: ALL OF OUR OPINIONS SHOULD CARRY THE FORCE OF LAW!

DEMOCRATS: THE CAMPAIGN NEVER ENDS … AND NEITHER WILL OUR DISCOVERY OF BOXES FULL OF “UNCOUNTED” VOTES!

DEMOCRATS: WE OVERUSED THE WORD “RACIST” TO THE POINT OF MEANINGLESSNESS. NOW WE’RE DOING THE SAME WITH “WHITE SUPREMACIST.”

DEMOCRATS: ANY SYSTEM IN WHICH ANY OF OUR CANDIDATES CAN LOSE IS AN UNFAIR SYSTEM THAT NEEDS CHANGED, DAMMIT!

DEMOCRATS: WE WARNED YOU THAT IF ANY MORE ELECTIONS DID NOT GO THE WAY WE WANTED THEN WE WOULD IMPOSE VIOLENT FASCISM AND NOW WE’RE KEEPING THAT PROMISE! Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

NEW DEMOCRAT SLOGANS

Democrats are hateIt’s been awhile but here are some new suggested slogans for the totalitarian psychopaths who still call themselves Democrats. FOR ONE OF THE MANY RUNNING TALLIES ON POLITICAL VIOLENCE RECENTLY COMMITTED BY DEMOCRATS CLICK HERE

*** DEMOCRATS: WE MAKE PURITANS OF THE 1600s LOOK TOLERANT OF DISSENTING OPINIONS! TO THEM DISSENT WAS A “SIN” – TO US IT’S “HATE!”

*** MAKE SURE THAT ANY HALLOWEEN COSTUMES WORN BY YOU AND/OR YOUR CHILDREN ARE APPROVED BY US DEMOCRATS … OTHERWISE WE WILL FILE A COMPLAINT ABOUT YOU!

*** DID YOU KNOW WE DEMOCRATS HAVE A WONDERFUL PLAN FOR YOUR LIFE?

*** DEMOCRATS: WE’LL JUST KEEP FILING COMPLAINTS ABOUT PEOPLE UNTIL THERE’S NOTHING BUT US DEMOCRATS LEFT WORKING HERE! (See colleges and universities, news outlets, NPR, PBS and many others!)

*** HOW DO WE KNOW? PRIVILEGED WHITE DEMOCRATS TELL US SOOO! (A reference to the old religious zealot song “How do I know? The Bible Tells Me So“)

*** DEMOCRATS: SIMPLE-MINDED ADOLESCENT OUTRAGE IS A WAY OF LIFE. EVEN INTO OUR SEVENTIES! 

Democrats mike myers*** YOU PEASANTS ARE ALLOWED TO SAY, DO, WRITE OR POST ON THE INTERNET ONLY THOSE THINGS WHICH DON’T UPSET US DEMOCRATS.

*** ONLY THOSE PEOPLE OF COLOR WHO AGREE WITH US WHITE DEMOCRATS ARE AUTHENTIC. THE REST MUST BE HOUNDED FROM PUBLIC LIFE OR RECANT.

*** IT’S A FREE COUNTRY … AS LONG AS WE DEMOCRATS APPROVE.

*** THE ONLY THINGS THAT ARE NOT HATEFUL ARE THE THINGS WE DEMOCRATS OKAY.

*** DEMOCRATS: YOUR CHILDREN’S TEACHERS ARE OUR CLERGY!

*** WE DEMOCRATS AND WE ALONE DICTATE WHAT IS ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN!

*** DEMOCRATS: WE CIRCUMVENT DEMOCRACY THROUGH CORPORATE FASCISM AND MASS MEDIA HARRASSMENT! Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

THE DEMOCRATS’ PLATFORM

#walkaway march on washingtonI’ll start with a reminder that it’s just one week til the start of the #WALKAWAY MARCH ON WASHINGTON.  Many people from among the millions of former Democrats driven away by the Party’s fascism and intolerance will be there.

Democrat PlatformWith Antifa (really KLAN-tifa) blocking traffic and beating up the elderly in Portland while the Democrat Mayor orders the police to stand down and with Democrats like Nancy Pelosi STILL refusing to denounce the violence (this week she actually referred to the victims of Democrat violence as “collateral damage”) here’s a look at the apparent 2018 Democrat Platform.

*** REMEMBER “WHAT’S GOOD FOR GENERAL MOTORS IS GOOD FOR THE USA? WELL, WE’VE CHANGED THAT TO “WHAT’S GOOD FOR US DEMOCRATS – AND ONLY WHAT’S GOOD FOR US DEMOCRATS – IS GOOD FOR THE USA!”

*** WE DIDN’T GET INTO POLITICS TO LISTEN TO YOU VOTERS, WE DID IT TO GET GRAFT AND BRIBE MONEY. 

*** WE DEMOCRATS WOULD RATHER SEE THOUSANDS OF YOU PEASANTS RAPED AND KILLED THAN INCONVENIENCE ONE SINGLE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT!

*** YOUR FRIENDS AND LOVED ONES IN THE ARMED FORCES ARE IMPERIALIST SCUM, BUT MURDEROUS HOMOPHOBE CHE GUEVARA WAS A REVOLUTIONARY! 

*** IF YOU’RE NOT WITH US, YOU’RE AGAINST US!

*** WE DEMOCRATS STILL OPPOSE VOTER I.D. BECAUSE IT HINDERS OUR PERENNIAL VOTER FRAUD!

*** WE REFUSE TO DENOUNCE OLE MISS PROFESSOR JAMES THOMAS’ SUGGESTION THAT SERVICE PERSONNEL CONTAMINATE THE FOOD OF REPUBLICANS … AND REMEMBER, IF YOUR CHILDREN COMPLAIN HE CAN GIVE THEM BAD GRADES!

Hillary change the rules*** THE POLICE ARE THE REAL CRIMINALS AND MUST BE HAMSTRUNG AT EVERY TURN! 

*** THIS DREADFUL DONALD TRUMP PERSON HAS FILLED THE WORKING CLASS RABBLE WITH THOUGHTS ABOVE THEIR STATION IN LIFE!

*** VOTE FOR US DEMOCRATS OR WE WILL TOTALLY FILE A COMPLAINT ABOUT YOU!

*** WITH THE TECHNOFASCISTS AT GOOGLE, FACEBOOK AND TWITTER ON OUR SIDE WE WILL SILENCE ALL DISSENT!

*** WE DEMOCRATS PLEDGE TO PHYSICALLY ASSAULT ALL OPPOSITION CANDIDATES LIKE WE DID IN MINNESOTA THIS WEEK

*** AFRICAN-AMERICANS NEED REMINDED THAT WE DEMOCRATS OWN THEM JUST LIKE WE DID ON OUR PLANTATIONS! Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

RANDOM FRIDAY WEIRDNESS IV

Democrat Keith Ellison IS Superman!  Continue reading

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Filed under humor, Superheroes

RANDOM FRIDAY WEIRDNESS III

THE ULTIMATE BAT-FLECK MOMENT Continue reading

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RANDOM FRIDAY WEIRDNESS II

I WANT TO SEE THIS ON THE BIG SCREEN! Continue reading

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Filed under humor, Superheroes