Tag Archives: Mock Headlines

MOCK HEADLINES: NOVEMBER 20th

AcostaDEMOCRATS ANNOUNCE THEY’VE JUST DISCOVERED THOUSANDS MILLIONS OF VOTES THAT SHOULD HAVE GONE TO JIMMY CARTER IN 1980, WALTER MONDALE IN 1984 AND DUKAKIS IN 1988

IRONY-CHALLENGED MEXICANS COMPLAIN ABOUT THE CRIME AND HEALTH PROBLEMS CAUSED BY THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS FROM HONDURAS

FAKE NEWSMAN AND MISOGYNIST JIM ACOSTA FIGHTS FOR HIS RIGHT TO CONTINUE DISGRACING HIS PROFESSION  

FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP STILL SPEAKS MORE LANGUAGES THAN BOTH OBAMAS COMBINED

DEMOCRATS MOVE TO HAVE ANY AND ALL ELECTIONS THAT ARE WON BY OPPOSING CANDIDATES DECLARED ILLEGITIMATE

ocasio cortezOCASIO-CORTEZ DEMANDS THAT PEOPLE STOP NOTICING THE IMBECILIC REMARKS SHE MAKES

HILLARY CLINTON DEFIANTLY CRIES: “THEY CAN FORCE ME TO ANSWER THESE NEW QUESTIONS UNDER OATH BUT THEY CAN’T FORCE ME TO TELL THE TRUTH!” Continue reading

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MOCK HEADLINES: OCTOBER 8th

mascot new look donkey and elephant headsDEMOCRATS RENEW THEIR VOW TO “MAKE CALIGULA LOOK SANE!”

NANCY PELOSI DEMANDS THAT WOMEN “JUST SHUT UP AND VOTE FOR US DEMOCRATS!”

SENATE DEMOCRATS TELL DI-FI “THIS IS ANOTHER FEINSTEIN MESS YOU’VE GOTTEN US INTO!” 

PRIVILEGED WHITE WOMAN ALYSSA MILANO HATES IT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE DISOBEY HER WHEN SHE ORDERS THEM TO STOP SUPPORTING TRUMP

ocasio cortezALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ SAYS HER SURNAME IS FROM THE SPANISH FOR “CRAZED CHIPMUNK”

DEMOCRATS INSIST THE U.S. CONSTITUTION IS MEANINGLESS BUT A FRAGMENT OF POETRY ON THE BASE OF THE STATUE OF LIBERTY IS LEGALLY BINDING

MAXINE WATERS SAYS “LAWS SHOULD ONLY BE ENFORCED AGAINST POLITICAL ENEMIES OF US DEMOCRATS!”

FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP STILL SPEAKS MORE LANGUAGES THAN BOTH OBAMAS COMBINED Continue reading

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MOCK HEADLINES: JULY 22nd

Russia hypocrisy from DemocratsAFTER CALLING FOR THE ELIMINATION OF IMMIGRATIONS AND CUSTOMS ENFORCEMENT, DEMOCRATS GO ON TO DEMAND THE DISMANTLING OF FIRE DEPARTMENTS  Nancy Pelosi says “Ever notice those guys always show up every time a fire breaks out? It can’t be just a coincidence!”

MUELLER DEMANDS TO INTERROGATE EVERY MAN, WOMAN AND CHILD WHO EVER WATCHED PRESIDENT TRUMP’S REALITY SHOW

DEMOCRATS DEMAND PRESIDENT TRUMP START WORLD WAR III WITH RUSSIA OR THEY WILL IMPEACH HIM

Helsinki StrainPRESIDENT TRUMP STARTS WORLD WAR III – DEMOCRATS MOVE TO IMPEACH HIM

DEMOCRATS INSIST PRESIDENT TRUMP START PUTTING AMERICA FIRST IN OUR DEALINGS WITH RUSSIA

DEMOCRATS BLAST PRESIDENT TRUMP FOR PUTTING AMERICA FIRST

MUELLER SAYS PRESIDENT TRUMP’S HOROSCOPE PROVES HE COLLUDED WITH RUSSIA

CNN REPORTS PRESIDENT TRUMP HAS SOLD ALASKA BACK TO RUSSIA FOR $100.00

DEMOCRATS INSIST PRESIDENT TRUMP SAVED THE ECONOMY JUST TO KISS UP TO THE LOWLY WORKING CLASS AND THE POOR Continue reading

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MOCK HEADLINES: MAY 3rd

Hillary LyingHILLARY BLAMES HER STATUS AS A CAPITALIST FOR HER 2016 DEFEAT. (No joke here, she really said that. ) COUNTRY REPLIES “NO, IT WAS YOUR STATUS AS A CRIMINAL, INSTEAD.”

MEXICO ANNOUNCES NEW SLOGAN: “WE’RE THE DYSFUNCTIONAL NARCO-STATE THAT SERVES AS THE FRONT DOOR TO AMERICA!” 

REPUBLICAN MITCH MCCONNELL DENOUNCES PRESIDENT TRUMP FOR “DISSING MY WEALTHY CONSTITUENTS IN CHINA” (If you haven’t been following, the bought and paid for Mitch is thoroughly in the pocket of Chinese financial powers. He’s really “Mitch McConnell (R), China” )

MORE WOMEN COME FORWARD TO ACCUSE THE MUMMIFIED CORPSE OF TOM BROKAW

Jonah GoldbergRECORD TURNOUT FOR A MEETING OF CONSERVATIVE WRITER JONAH GOLDBERG’S FAN CLUB (See right for a photo of ALL the attendees)

MURKY MUELLER AND HIS FUNKY BUNCH OF HILLARY DONORS CLAIM THEY HAVE A MANDATE TO ILLEGALLY OVERTURN THE PERFECTLY LEGAL 2016 ELECTION

DEMOCRATS DEMAND PRESIDENT TRUMP BE IMPEACHED FOR “FILLING THE WORKING CLASS RABBLE WITH THOUGHTS ABOVE THEIR STATION IN LIFE” 

corporate fascist Mark Zuckerberg

CORPORATE FASCIST MARK “SKIPPY” ZUCKERBERG

CORPORATE FASCIST MARK “SKIPPY” ZUCKERBERG DECLARES WAR ON ALL POLITICAL SPEECH THAT DEMOCRATS TELL HIM TO DISAGREE WITH

FOR REAL: KANYE WEST SAYS OBAMA WAS “OPIOIDS TO THE BLACK COMMUNITY” (Again, that’s for real. I just got a chuckle out of how true it is.) Continue reading

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THE BIG BUSINESS COUP PLOT AGAINST FDR AND MOCK HEADLINES FOR APRIL 11th

Trump - crooks unite against himAs Murky Mueller and his Funky Bunch of Hillary Donors put the nation on notice that attorney-client privilege exists only at the Uniparty’s whim, it’s easy to recall the Businessman’s Coup plot against President Franklin Roosevelt in the 1930s.

President Trump is the New FDR and the modern-day equivalents of Prescott Bush and his ilk in both the Democrat and Republican Parties have been savagely going after him.

Trump is SerpicoIt makes for interesting food for thought as we watch the bought and paid for career criminals who hold political office get less and less subtle.

While we ponder all that here are some Mock Headlines for April 11th: 

MUELLER BOASTS “I WAS ASSIGNED TO OVERTURN THE RESULTS OF AN ELECTION THAT DISPLEASED BLOATED RICH PIGS AND I WON’T STOP UNTIL I DO!”

FACEBOOK REMAINS “THE CONFIRMATION BIAS COMMUNITY”

CHUCK SCHUMER INSISTS PRESIDENT TRUMP MUST BE PUNISHED FOR FILLING THE WORKING CLASS RABBLE WITH THOUGHTS ABOVE THEIR STATION IN LIFE 

DEMOCRATS DEBATING WHICH RIGHTS, IF ANY, THAT THE PEASANTS DESERVE TO KEEP

won't goCORPORATE FASCIST MARK “SKIPPY” ZUCKERBERG VOWS TO CONGRESS “I WILL WIN OVER EVEN THE FEW OF YOU THAT I DON’T OWN OUTRIGHT!”

NOT EVEN MUELLER CLAIMS THAT HIS ASSAULT ON ATTORNEY-CLIENT PRIVILEGE HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE PHONY RUSSIA PROBE 

HILLARY SUPPORTERS GLEEFULLY ANTICIPATE DESTROYING ALL THE JOBS PRESIDENT TRUMP SAVED AND/OR CREATED 

NATION WONDERS ABOUT THE NEED FOR AN OPPOSITION PARTY Continue reading

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MOCK HEADLINES: APRIL 2nd

CIA Garrison CartoonREPUBLICANS IN CONGRESS OUTRAGED TO LEARN GOVERNMENTS SPEND MONEY: CALL TRUMP A COMMUNIST 

DEMOCRATS PROPOSE TURNING ENTIRE GOVERNMENT OVER TO FIFTEEN AND SIXTEEN YEAR OLD CHILDREN, THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO AGREE WITH ALL OF THEIR IMMATURE IDEAS

FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP, WIFE OF UNITED STATES PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP, STILL SPEAKS MORE LANGUAGES THAN BOTH OBAMAS COMBINED

PEOPLE WHO HATE THE WORKING CLASS AND THE POOR STILL OUTRAGED BY REMINDERS THAT FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP SPEAKS MORE LANGUAGES THAN BOTH OBAMAS COMBINED

DEMOCRATS PROPOSE LOWERING VOTING AGE TO THIRTEEN, BUT ONLY FOR CHILDREN “MATURE” ENOUGH TO VOTE DEMOCRAT

REPUBLICAN PAUL RYAN OFFERS MILLIONS TO ANY PORN STARLET WHO COMES FORWARD AND SAYS SHE HAD SEX WITH HIM

PAUL RYAN MODIFIES OFFER: HE’LL PAY MILLIONS TO ANY WOMAN PERIOD WHO COMES FORWARD AND SAYS SHE HAD SEX WITH HIM 

DEMOCRATS CALL ON NATION TO REJECT DIVISIVENESS BY MAKING IT ILLEGAL TO BE ANYTHING BUT A REGISTERED DEMOCRAT

DEMOCRATS ALLY THEMSELVES WITH CORPORATE FASCISTS TO TRY TO ENFORCE UNIFORMITY OF THOUGHT IN EVERY ASPECT OF LIFE

DEMOCRATS PROCLAIM THEMSELVES TO BE THE SOLE JUDGES OF WHAT IS RIGHT AND WRONG; INSIST ONLY HATERS WOULD DISAGREE WITH THEM Continue reading

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MOCK HEADLINES: MARCH 20th

hillary-drink-in-handA DRUNK AND INCOHERENT HILLARY CLINTON PRAISES THE LATE STEPHEN HAWKING FOR FOUNDING THE X-MEN

DEMOCRATS DEMAND THAT ELECTIONS BE REPLACED BY A PANEL OF CELEBRITIES WHO DECIDE ON THE NEXT PRESIDENT

DEMOCRATS OFFER ALTERNATIVE SYSTEM IN WHICH ONLY PEOPLE WHO MAKE A MILLION DOLLARS PER YEAR OR MORE ARE ALLOWED TO VOTE

HILLARY SAYS SHE’S OPEN TO PERMITTING SOME POOR PEOPLE TO LIVE, BUT ONLY UNDER CERTAIN CONDITIONS

ISOLATED, HEAVILY POPULATED POCKETS OF BLOATED RICH PIGS AND POMPOUS SNOBS STILL INSIST THEY SHOULD RULE THE COUNTRY 

mapAMERICA’S THIRD-WORLD LEVEL CORRUPT GOVERNMENT STILL PRETENDING THAT DE FACTO THIRD PARTY PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP IS THE CROOK, NOT THEM

HILLARY CLINTON VOWS TO KEEP REVISING HER HATRED OF THE POOR AND THE WORKING CLASS UNTIL SHE FINDS A WAY OF EXPRESSING IT THAT WORKS POLITICALLY

UNINFORMED, SHALLOW PEOPLE WHO CAN’T EVEN NAME THEIR OWN SENATOR OR HOUSE REPS STILL THINK PRESIDENT TRUMP IS THE ANTICHRIST

DEMOCRATS DEMAND THAT HOSPITALS REFUSE TREATMENT TO ANYONE SUSPECTED OF VOTING FOR PRESIDENT TRUMP; ANTIFA COWARDS SAVAGELY BEAT ANYONE WHO DISAGREES #LOVEWINS 

NATION STILL REJOICING THAT NEITHER HILLARY CLINTON NOR JEB BUSH GOT ELECTED PRESIDENT

BLOATED RICH PIGS AGREE THAT THEY HATE PRESIDENT TRUMP FOR THE SAME REASONS THEY HATED FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT

HILLARY BLAMES HER CONSTANT FALLS ON TRUMP’S INVISIBLE, NON-EXISTENT RUSSIAN COLLABORATORS Continue reading

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