Tag Archives: Mock Headlines

MOCK HEADLINES: MAY 3rd

Hillary LyingHILLARY BLAMES HER STATUS AS A CAPITALIST FOR HER 2016 DEFEAT. (No joke here, she really said that. ) COUNTRY REPLIES “NO, IT WAS YOUR STATUS AS A CRIMINAL, INSTEAD.”

MEXICO ANNOUNCES NEW SLOGAN: “WE’RE THE DYSFUNCTIONAL NARCO-STATE THAT SERVES AS THE FRONT DOOR TO AMERICA!” 

REPUBLICAN MITCH MCCONNELL DENOUNCES PRESIDENT TRUMP FOR “DISSING MY WEALTHY CONSTITUENTS IN CHINA” (If you haven’t been following, the bought and paid for Mitch is thoroughly in the pocket of Chinese financial powers. He’s really “Mitch McConnell (R), China” )

MORE WOMEN COME FORWARD TO ACCUSE THE MUMMIFIED CORPSE OF TOM BROKAW

Jonah GoldbergRECORD TURNOUT FOR A MEETING OF CONSERVATIVE WRITER JONAH GOLDBERG’S FAN CLUB (See right for a photo of ALL the attendees)

MURKY MUELLER AND HIS FUNKY BUNCH OF HILLARY DONORS CLAIM THEY HAVE A MANDATE TO ILLEGALLY OVERTURN THE PERFECTLY LEGAL 2016 ELECTION

DEMOCRATS DEMAND PRESIDENT TRUMP BE IMPEACHED FOR “FILLING THE WORKING CLASS RABBLE WITH THOUGHTS ABOVE THEIR STATION IN LIFE” 

corporate fascist Mark Zuckerberg

CORPORATE FASCIST MARK “SKIPPY” ZUCKERBERG

CORPORATE FASCIST MARK “SKIPPY” ZUCKERBERG DECLARES WAR ON ALL POLITICAL SPEECH THAT DEMOCRATS TELL HIM TO DISAGREE WITH

FOR REAL: KANYE WEST SAYS OBAMA WAS “OPIOIDS TO THE BLACK COMMUNITY” (Again, that’s for real. I just got a chuckle out of how true it is.) Continue reading

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THE BIG BUSINESS COUP PLOT AGAINST FDR AND MOCK HEADLINES FOR APRIL 11th

Trump - crooks unite against himAs Murky Mueller and his Funky Bunch of Hillary Donors put the nation on notice that attorney-client privilege exists only at the Uniparty’s whim, it’s easy to recall the Businessman’s Coup plot against President Franklin Roosevelt in the 1930s.

President Trump is the New FDR and the modern-day equivalents of Prescott Bush and his ilk in both the Democrat and Republican Parties have been savagely going after him.

Trump is SerpicoIt makes for interesting food for thought as we watch the bought and paid for career criminals who hold political office get less and less subtle.

While we ponder all that here are some Mock Headlines for April 11th: 

MUELLER BOASTS “I WAS ASSIGNED TO OVERTURN THE RESULTS OF AN ELECTION THAT DISPLEASED BLOATED RICH PIGS AND I WON’T STOP UNTIL I DO!”

FACEBOOK REMAINS “THE CONFIRMATION BIAS COMMUNITY”

CHUCK SCHUMER INSISTS PRESIDENT TRUMP MUST BE PUNISHED FOR FILLING THE WORKING CLASS RABBLE WITH THOUGHTS ABOVE THEIR STATION IN LIFE 

DEMOCRATS DEBATING WHICH RIGHTS, IF ANY, THAT THE PEASANTS DESERVE TO KEEP

won't goCORPORATE FASCIST MARK “SKIPPY” ZUCKERBERG VOWS TO CONGRESS “I WILL WIN OVER EVEN THE FEW OF YOU THAT I DON’T OWN OUTRIGHT!”

NOT EVEN MUELLER CLAIMS THAT HIS ASSAULT ON ATTORNEY-CLIENT PRIVILEGE HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE PHONY RUSSIA PROBE 

HILLARY SUPPORTERS GLEEFULLY ANTICIPATE DESTROYING ALL THE JOBS PRESIDENT TRUMP SAVED AND/OR CREATED 

NATION WONDERS ABOUT THE NEED FOR AN OPPOSITION PARTY Continue reading

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MOCK HEADLINES: APRIL 2nd

CIA Garrison CartoonREPUBLICANS IN CONGRESS OUTRAGED TO LEARN GOVERNMENTS SPEND MONEY: CALL TRUMP A COMMUNIST 

DEMOCRATS PROPOSE TURNING ENTIRE GOVERNMENT OVER TO FIFTEEN AND SIXTEEN YEAR OLD CHILDREN, THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO AGREE WITH ALL OF THEIR IMMATURE IDEAS

FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP, WIFE OF UNITED STATES PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP, STILL SPEAKS MORE LANGUAGES THAN BOTH OBAMAS COMBINED

PEOPLE WHO HATE THE WORKING CLASS AND THE POOR STILL OUTRAGED BY REMINDERS THAT FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP SPEAKS MORE LANGUAGES THAN BOTH OBAMAS COMBINED

DEMOCRATS PROPOSE LOWERING VOTING AGE TO THIRTEEN, BUT ONLY FOR CHILDREN “MATURE” ENOUGH TO VOTE DEMOCRAT

REPUBLICAN PAUL RYAN OFFERS MILLIONS TO ANY PORN STARLET WHO COMES FORWARD AND SAYS SHE HAD SEX WITH HIM

PAUL RYAN MODIFIES OFFER: HE’LL PAY MILLIONS TO ANY WOMAN PERIOD WHO COMES FORWARD AND SAYS SHE HAD SEX WITH HIM 

DEMOCRATS CALL ON NATION TO REJECT DIVISIVENESS BY MAKING IT ILLEGAL TO BE ANYTHING BUT A REGISTERED DEMOCRAT

DEMOCRATS ALLY THEMSELVES WITH CORPORATE FASCISTS TO TRY TO ENFORCE UNIFORMITY OF THOUGHT IN EVERY ASPECT OF LIFE

DEMOCRATS PROCLAIM THEMSELVES TO BE THE SOLE JUDGES OF WHAT IS RIGHT AND WRONG; INSIST ONLY HATERS WOULD DISAGREE WITH THEM Continue reading

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MOCK HEADLINES: MARCH 20th

hillary-drink-in-handA DRUNK AND INCOHERENT HILLARY CLINTON PRAISES THE LATE STEPHEN HAWKING FOR FOUNDING THE X-MEN

DEMOCRATS DEMAND THAT ELECTIONS BE REPLACED BY A PANEL OF CELEBRITIES WHO DECIDE ON THE NEXT PRESIDENT

DEMOCRATS OFFER ALTERNATIVE SYSTEM IN WHICH ONLY PEOPLE WHO MAKE A MILLION DOLLARS PER YEAR OR MORE ARE ALLOWED TO VOTE

HILLARY SAYS SHE’S OPEN TO PERMITTING SOME POOR PEOPLE TO LIVE, BUT ONLY UNDER CERTAIN CONDITIONS

ISOLATED, HEAVILY POPULATED POCKETS OF BLOATED RICH PIGS AND POMPOUS SNOBS STILL INSIST THEY SHOULD RULE THE COUNTRY 

mapAMERICA’S THIRD-WORLD LEVEL CORRUPT GOVERNMENT STILL PRETENDING THAT DE FACTO THIRD PARTY PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP IS THE CROOK, NOT THEM

HILLARY CLINTON VOWS TO KEEP REVISING HER HATRED OF THE POOR AND THE WORKING CLASS UNTIL SHE FINDS A WAY OF EXPRESSING IT THAT WORKS POLITICALLY

UNINFORMED, SHALLOW PEOPLE WHO CAN’T EVEN NAME THEIR OWN SENATOR OR HOUSE REPS STILL THINK PRESIDENT TRUMP IS THE ANTICHRIST

DEMOCRATS DEMAND THAT HOSPITALS REFUSE TREATMENT TO ANYONE SUSPECTED OF VOTING FOR PRESIDENT TRUMP; ANTIFA COWARDS SAVAGELY BEAT ANYONE WHO DISAGREES #LOVEWINS 

NATION STILL REJOICING THAT NEITHER HILLARY CLINTON NOR JEB BUSH GOT ELECTED PRESIDENT

BLOATED RICH PIGS AGREE THAT THEY HATE PRESIDENT TRUMP FOR THE SAME REASONS THEY HATED FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT

HILLARY BLAMES HER CONSTANT FALLS ON TRUMP’S INVISIBLE, NON-EXISTENT RUSSIAN COLLABORATORS Continue reading

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MOCK HEADLINES: MARCH 14th

hillary yellingMURKY MUELLER AND HIS FUNKY BUNCH OF HILLARY DONORS INSIST THEY NEED AN ADDITIONAL SIX YEARS TO DETERMINE WHAT ROLE IF ANY PRESIDENT TRUMP PLAYED IN STEPHEN HAWKING’S DEATH

HILLARY CLINTON, FAILED PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, TELLS AUDIENCE IN INDIA SHE WOULD LOVE TO EXTERMINATE AMERICA’S “UNTOUCHABLES”

SPOILED IDIOT ROBERT DE NIRO STILL REFUSES TO DONATE MORE MONEY TO CHARITY; SAYS POOR PEOPLE VOTED FOR TRUMP SO TO HELL WITH THEM!

MURKY MUELLER AND HIS FUNKY BUNCH OF HILLARY DONORS INSIST THEY NEED AN ADDITIONAL TEN YEARS TO DETERMINE WHAT ROLE IF ANY WAKANDAN INTERFERENCE PLAYED IN THE 2016 ELECTION

TOOR-CHUR!

“TOOR-chur!”

RAND PAUL INSISTS GINA HASPEL ENJOYED TORTURE AND EROTICALLY TRAMPLING HIM DURING THEIR DATES TOGETHER, THEN ADDS “SHE’S BEEN NOMINATED FOR SOMETHING? … OH, SORRY”

JIMMY KIMMEL HOPES ALL WORKING CLASS PEOPLE WHOSE JOBS HAVE BEEN SAVED BY PRESIDENT TRUMP DIE OF CANCER #LOVEWINS

NANCY PELOSI AND BERNIE SANDERS BLAME PRESIDENT TRUMP FOR DIVIDING AMERICANS INTO “THESE THINGS CALLED BRACKETS”

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MOCK HEADLINES: MARCH 9th

Trump is the new FDRWelcome back to Balladeer’s Blog! Recently even Democrat Chris Matthews acknowledged that our de facto Third Party President Donald Trump is looking out for “Forgotten American workers.” Meanwhile, President Trump’s opponents keep looking out for illegal immigrants and for Corporate Fascists like Mark “Skippy” Zuckerberg.

At any rate it seemed like a good time for another round of Mock Headlines:

(By the way, I’m neither a liberal nor a conservative. Want proof? CLICK HERE )

HOLLYWOOD INSISTS LOWER RATINGS MEAN THE OSCARS/WEINSTEIN AWARDS WERE MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN EVER BEFORE! 

MAN EMERGES FROM DEEP COMA; REMEMBERS HE IS ATTORNEY GENERAL OF THE UNITED STATES

JERRY BROWN: “THE DEAD VICTIMS OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT CRIMES HAVE NOT ISSUED ONE WORD OF COMPLAINT ABOUT THE OAKLAND MAYOR HELPING MURDERERS AND RAPISTS ESCAPE ARREST BY WARNING THEM ABOUT I.C.E. RAIDS”

BLOATED RICH PIG CELEBRITIES CONTINUE TO MISTAKENLY THINK THEY SPEAK FOR THE WORKING CLASS AND THE POOR

mascot new look donkey and elephant headsMEDIA FINALLY ADMITS “PRESIDENTIAL APPROVAL RATINGS” ARE A MEANINGLESS FARCE AS INACCURATE AS HOROSCOPES

DEMOCRAT DICK DURBIN AT A LOSS TO EXPLAIN JENNIFER LAWRENCE’S RECENT HATE-FILLED DIATRIBE AGAINST HIM

ADMITTED RAPIST KOBE BRYANT WINS AN OSCAR/WEINSTEIN AWARD AMID #METOO PREENING CEREMONIES

PRESIDENT TRUMP STILL HATED BY EVERY ENEMY OF THE WORKING CLASS AND THE POOR

REASONABLE PEOPLE AGREE: WATCHING ANY AWARDS SHOW IS EVEN WORSE THAN GOING TO CHURCH

AWARDS SHOWS TO BE RE-LABELED “SHOW TRIALS IN WHICH THE VIEWERS ARE ASSUMED GUILTY OF EVERYTHING THE HOSTS HAVE DONE AND ARE TO BE LECTURED BY RICH PIG DEMOCRATS” 

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MOCK HEADLINES ARE BACK: FEBRUARY 25th

mascot new look donkey and elephant headsMURKY MUELLER INSISTS IT’S HIS RIGHT TO KEEP HIS PHONY INVESTIGATION GOING LONG ENOUGH TO LEAK UNSUBSTANTIATED INFO SO AS TO INFLUENCE THE MID-TERM ELECTIONS

JIMMY KIMMEL DEMANDS THAT VICTIMS OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT VIOLENCE SHOULD BE DEPORTED, NOT THE ILLEGALS WHO ASSAULTED THEM

MCMASTERS VOWS TO HOLD ALL FUTURE PRESS CONFERENCES FROM A SEATED POSITION WHILE STROKING A WHITE CAT

FBI CLAIMS IT WAS TOO BUSY WITH ITS ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES TO STOP THE FLORIDA SHOOTER DESPITE MULTIPLE WARNINGS ABOUT HIM

FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP, WIFE OF UNITED STATES PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP, STILL SPEAKS MORE LANGUAGES THAN BOTH OBAMAS COMBINED

DEMOCRATS CLAIM EXPERTS HAVE PROVEN THAT THEY ARE THE ONLY DECENT AND CARING PEOPLE IN THE WORLD AND ANYONE DISAGREEING WITH THEM IS GUILTY OF HATE SPEECH

Holocaust survivor on fascismA TEARY-EYED NANCY PELOSI DECLARES BARACK OBAMA TO BE “AS WRONGLY SUSPECTED OF ILLEGALITIES AS JOHN GOTTI WAS!”

GOTTI FAMILY ANNOUNCES LAWSUIT OVER PELOSI COMPARING THE LATE MAFIA DON TO THE SLEAZY, SLIMY CROOK OBAMA

CNN CLAIMS NO CHILD’S PETS WOULD EVER DIE IF NOT FOR TRUMP

ROGER GOODELL BOASTS ABOUT HOW EASY IT WAS TO DISTRACT MEDIA WORMS FROM TALKING ABOUT ALL THE RAPISTS AND WOMAN-BEATERS IN THE NFL

JARED KUSHNER STILL A BUFFOON, EXPERTS SAY

DEMOCRATS CALL FOR IT TO BE A HATE CRIME TO PUBLICLY MOURN THE VICTIMS OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS WHO COMMIT MURDER

CALIFORNIA INTRODUCES NEW COURTROOM PROCEDURE IN WHICH ANYONE ACCUSED OF ANY CRIME WILL BE PARDONED AND SET FREE AS LONG AS THEY MAKE A PUBLIC STATEMENT AGAINST PRESIDENT TRUMP. Speaking fees, book deals and glowing appearances on all Democrat talk shows add allure to the deal Continue reading

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