Tag Archives: Mock Headlines

MOCK HEADLINES: APRIL 12th

AssangeDEMOCRATS VOW TO RUN CAT FECES-SPREADING JULIAN ASSANGE AS THEIR 2020 PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE “He’s saner than anyone else we have running” Nancy Pelosi admits. (Scoop courtesy of Balladeer’s Blog reporter Tamara)

CORRUPT CONGRESSWOMAN “MAD MAXINE” WATERS SHOWS SHE HAD NO IDEA OUR STUDENT LOAN SYSTEM WAS CHANGED YEARS AGO … Waters Sure To Win A 4th Straight “Most Brain-Dead Member of Congress” Award! 

DEMOCRATS ADVISE NETANYAHU’S DEFEATED OPPONENT: “YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE WHAT WE DO – CONVENIENTLY DISCOVER MILLIONS OF ‘UNCOUNTED’ VOTES LONG AFTER ELECTION DAY”

Jack DorseySILICON VALLEY ROBBER BARONS LIKE JACK DORSEY, MARK ZUCKERBERG AND THEIR ILK ADOPT NEW SLOGAN: “WE’RE WHITE, WE’RE RICH, WE CONTROL THE INTERNET AND SOCIAL MEDIA. AND THERE’S NOTHING YOU PEASANTS CAN DO ABOUT IT!”

WOODY ALLEN TO WORK WITH JULIAN ASSANGE ON A SEQUEL TO “DON’T DRINK THE WATER.” NEW COMEDY TO BE TITLED “DON’T EAT THAT TUNA CASSEROLE!”

DEMOCRATS DECLARE IT A HATE CRIME FOR NON-DEMOCRAT CANDIDATES TO APPEAR ON ANY STATE’S BALLOTS Nancy Pelosi Says “Marginalized people blah blah blah … Nazis.”

CONGRESSIONAL DEMOCRATS AGAIN DENY BEING VERMIN – ADMIT TO BEING LARGE CLUMPS OF BACTERIA SCULPTED INTO HUMAN FORM

Melania TrumpFIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP, WIFE OF PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP, STILL SPEAKS MORE LANGUAGES THAN BOTH OBAMAS COMBINED

DEMOCRAT ILHAN OMAR BLAMES JEWS FOR HER HORRIFIC FASHION SENSE 

DEMOCRATS ANNOUNCE THAT ONE OF THEIR CANDIDATES LOSING AN ELECTION – ANY ELECTION – WILL NO LONGER BE AN ACCEPTABLE OUTCOME 

DEMOCRATS DEMAND A FINAL SOLUTION BE FOUND TO “THE JEWISH PROBLEM”

NANCY PELOSI: VETERANS ARE TRASH. WE DEMOCRATS CARE ONLY ABOUT ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS

DEMOCRAT RASHIDA TLAIB INSISTS JEWS BROKE INTO HER HOME AND REPLACED ALL HER FURNISHINGS WITH EXACT DUPLICATES “Come over and see for yourself” she heroically challenged Islamophobic skeptics Continue reading

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MOCK HEADLINES: FEBRUARY 21st

Time for another round of mock headlines from Balladeer’s Blog:

Jussie Smollett fake news hatDEMOCRAT ILHAN OMAR VOWS TO MAKE HER DISTRICT “JEW-FREE BY 2020” 

JOE BIDEN ANNOUNCES HIS 2020 CAMPAIGN SLOGAN: “NO LONGER THE WEIRDEST DEMOCRAT IN THE ROOM!” 

DEMOCRATS INSIST VOTING RIGHTS SHOULD APPLY ONLY TO ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS  

JUSSIE SMOLLETT NOW CLAIMS TO BE PART CHEROKEE INDIAN

FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP STILL SPEAKS MORE LANGUAGES THAN BOTH OBAMAS COMBINED

AOC crazyALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ DECLARES ALL CHILDREN UNDER SIXTEEN YEARS OF AGE TO NOW BE SIXTEEN YEARS OF AGE (with apologies to Woody Allen’s Bananas)

UNDERPRIVILEGED CHILDREN RAISE MONEY TO BUY BRIE LARSON TICKETS TO SEE WONDER WOMAN

BRIE LARSON EXPRESSES AMAZEMENT THAT THERE HAS EVER BEEN ANOTHER ACTION MOVIE STARRING A WOMAN “Well then why am I making such a big deal out of my own lame flick” the privileged white one percenter asked

NATHAN PHILLIPS NOW CLAIMS HE WAS THE WEEPING INDIAN IN THOSE OLD “DON’T LITTER” ADS

Jussie Smollett hoax newsDEMOCRAT MEDIA BEGS PUBLIC FOR A NEW HATE HOAX THEY CAN EXPLOIT TO FAN THE FLAMES OF HATRED: CNN’s Don Lemon in tears

SCRAWNY RIGHT-WING PASSAROUND ANN COULTER CHANGES HER MIND ABOUT TRUMP FOR THE 9,879th TIME Crazed attention hound once supported Chris Christie and Mitt Romney for president

DEMOCRATS DEMAND THAT TRUMPETS BE RENAMED TO AVOID TRIGGERING MARGINALIZED PEOPLE … AS DEFINED BY WHITE, PRIVILEGED ONE-PERCENTER DEMOCRATS

BLM ANNOUNCES PLANS TO SUE JUSSIE SMOLLETT FOR COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT  Hate group claims “Hands Up, Don’t Shoot” was so fake it clearly inspired Smollett’s alleged hoax

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MOCK HEADLINES: NOVEMBER 20th

AcostaDEMOCRATS ANNOUNCE THEY’VE JUST DISCOVERED THOUSANDS MILLIONS OF VOTES THAT SHOULD HAVE GONE TO JIMMY CARTER IN 1980, WALTER MONDALE IN 1984 AND DUKAKIS IN 1988

IRONY-CHALLENGED MEXICANS COMPLAIN ABOUT THE CRIME AND HEALTH PROBLEMS CAUSED BY THE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS FROM HONDURAS

FAKE NEWSMAN AND MISOGYNIST JIM ACOSTA FIGHTS FOR HIS RIGHT TO CONTINUE DISGRACING HIS PROFESSION  

FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP STILL SPEAKS MORE LANGUAGES THAN BOTH OBAMAS COMBINED

DEMOCRATS MOVE TO HAVE ANY AND ALL ELECTIONS THAT ARE WON BY OPPOSING CANDIDATES DECLARED ILLEGITIMATE

ocasio cortezOCASIO-CORTEZ DEMANDS THAT PEOPLE STOP NOTICING THE IMBECILIC REMARKS SHE MAKES

HILLARY CLINTON DEFIANTLY CRIES: “THEY CAN FORCE ME TO ANSWER THESE NEW QUESTIONS UNDER OATH BUT THEY CAN’T FORCE ME TO TELL THE TRUTH!” Continue reading

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MOCK HEADLINES: OCTOBER 8th

mascot new look donkey and elephant headsDEMOCRATS RENEW THEIR VOW TO “MAKE CALIGULA LOOK SANE!”

NANCY PELOSI DEMANDS THAT WOMEN “JUST SHUT UP AND VOTE FOR US DEMOCRATS!”

SENATE DEMOCRATS TELL DI-FI “THIS IS ANOTHER FEINSTEIN MESS YOU’VE GOTTEN US INTO!” 

PRIVILEGED WHITE WOMAN ALYSSA MILANO HATES IT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE DISOBEY HER WHEN SHE ORDERS THEM TO STOP SUPPORTING TRUMP

ocasio cortezALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ SAYS HER SURNAME IS FROM THE SPANISH FOR “CRAZED CHIPMUNK”

DEMOCRATS INSIST THE U.S. CONSTITUTION IS MEANINGLESS BUT A FRAGMENT OF POETRY ON THE BASE OF THE STATUE OF LIBERTY IS LEGALLY BINDING

MAXINE WATERS SAYS “LAWS SHOULD ONLY BE ENFORCED AGAINST POLITICAL ENEMIES OF US DEMOCRATS!”

FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP STILL SPEAKS MORE LANGUAGES THAN BOTH OBAMAS COMBINED Continue reading

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MOCK HEADLINES: JULY 22nd

Russia hypocrisy from DemocratsAFTER CALLING FOR THE ELIMINATION OF IMMIGRATIONS AND CUSTOMS ENFORCEMENT, DEMOCRATS GO ON TO DEMAND THE DISMANTLING OF FIRE DEPARTMENTS  Nancy Pelosi says “Ever notice those guys always show up every time a fire breaks out? It can’t be just a coincidence!”

MUELLER DEMANDS TO INTERROGATE EVERY MAN, WOMAN AND CHILD WHO EVER WATCHED PRESIDENT TRUMP’S REALITY SHOW

DEMOCRATS DEMAND PRESIDENT TRUMP START WORLD WAR III WITH RUSSIA OR THEY WILL IMPEACH HIM

Helsinki StrainPRESIDENT TRUMP STARTS WORLD WAR III – DEMOCRATS MOVE TO IMPEACH HIM

DEMOCRATS INSIST PRESIDENT TRUMP START PUTTING AMERICA FIRST IN OUR DEALINGS WITH RUSSIA

DEMOCRATS BLAST PRESIDENT TRUMP FOR PUTTING AMERICA FIRST

MUELLER SAYS PRESIDENT TRUMP’S HOROSCOPE PROVES HE COLLUDED WITH RUSSIA

CNN REPORTS PRESIDENT TRUMP HAS SOLD ALASKA BACK TO RUSSIA FOR $100.00

DEMOCRATS INSIST PRESIDENT TRUMP SAVED THE ECONOMY JUST TO KISS UP TO THE LOWLY WORKING CLASS AND THE POOR Continue reading

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MOCK HEADLINES: MAY 3rd

Hillary LyingHILLARY BLAMES HER STATUS AS A CAPITALIST FOR HER 2016 DEFEAT. (No joke here, she really said that. ) COUNTRY REPLIES “NO, IT WAS YOUR STATUS AS A CRIMINAL, INSTEAD.”

MEXICO ANNOUNCES NEW SLOGAN: “WE’RE THE DYSFUNCTIONAL NARCO-STATE THAT SERVES AS THE FRONT DOOR TO AMERICA!” 

REPUBLICAN MITCH MCCONNELL DENOUNCES PRESIDENT TRUMP FOR “DISSING MY WEALTHY CONSTITUENTS IN CHINA” (If you haven’t been following, the bought and paid for Mitch is thoroughly in the pocket of Chinese financial powers. He’s really “Mitch McConnell (R), China” )

MORE WOMEN COME FORWARD TO ACCUSE THE MUMMIFIED CORPSE OF TOM BROKAW

Jonah GoldbergRECORD TURNOUT FOR A MEETING OF CONSERVATIVE WRITER JONAH GOLDBERG’S FAN CLUB (See right for a photo of ALL the attendees)

MURKY MUELLER AND HIS FUNKY BUNCH OF HILLARY DONORS CLAIM THEY HAVE A MANDATE TO ILLEGALLY OVERTURN THE PERFECTLY LEGAL 2016 ELECTION

DEMOCRATS DEMAND PRESIDENT TRUMP BE IMPEACHED FOR “FILLING THE WORKING CLASS RABBLE WITH THOUGHTS ABOVE THEIR STATION IN LIFE” 

corporate fascist Mark Zuckerberg

CORPORATE FASCIST MARK “SKIPPY” ZUCKERBERG

CORPORATE FASCIST MARK “SKIPPY” ZUCKERBERG DECLARES WAR ON ALL POLITICAL SPEECH THAT DEMOCRATS TELL HIM TO DISAGREE WITH

FOR REAL: KANYE WEST SAYS OBAMA WAS “OPIOIDS TO THE BLACK COMMUNITY” (Again, that’s for real. I just got a chuckle out of how true it is.) Continue reading

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THE BIG BUSINESS COUP PLOT AGAINST FDR AND MOCK HEADLINES FOR APRIL 11th

Trump - crooks unite against himAs Murky Mueller and his Funky Bunch of Hillary Donors put the nation on notice that attorney-client privilege exists only at the Uniparty’s whim, it’s easy to recall the Businessman’s Coup plot against President Franklin Roosevelt in the 1930s.

President Trump is the New FDR and the modern-day equivalents of Prescott Bush and his ilk in both the Democrat and Republican Parties have been savagely going after him.

Trump is SerpicoIt makes for interesting food for thought as we watch the bought and paid for career criminals who hold political office get less and less subtle.

While we ponder all that here are some Mock Headlines for April 11th: 

MUELLER BOASTS “I WAS ASSIGNED TO OVERTURN THE RESULTS OF AN ELECTION THAT DISPLEASED BLOATED RICH PIGS AND I WON’T STOP UNTIL I DO!”

FACEBOOK REMAINS “THE CONFIRMATION BIAS COMMUNITY”

CHUCK SCHUMER INSISTS PRESIDENT TRUMP MUST BE PUNISHED FOR FILLING THE WORKING CLASS RABBLE WITH THOUGHTS ABOVE THEIR STATION IN LIFE 

DEMOCRATS DEBATING WHICH RIGHTS, IF ANY, THAT THE PEASANTS DESERVE TO KEEP

won't goCORPORATE FASCIST MARK “SKIPPY” ZUCKERBERG VOWS TO CONGRESS “I WILL WIN OVER EVEN THE FEW OF YOU THAT I DON’T OWN OUTRIGHT!”

NOT EVEN MUELLER CLAIMS THAT HIS ASSAULT ON ATTORNEY-CLIENT PRIVILEGE HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE PHONY RUSSIA PROBE 

HILLARY SUPPORTERS GLEEFULLY ANTICIPATE DESTROYING ALL THE JOBS PRESIDENT TRUMP SAVED AND/OR CREATED 

NATION WONDERS ABOUT THE NEED FOR AN OPPOSITION PARTY Continue reading

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