MOCK HEADLINES: FEBRUARY 21st

Time for another round of mock headlines from Balladeer’s Blog:

Jussie Smollett fake news hatDEMOCRAT ILHAN OMAR VOWS TO MAKE HER DISTRICT “JEW-FREE BY 2020” 

JOE BIDEN ANNOUNCES HIS 2020 CAMPAIGN SLOGAN: “NO LONGER THE WEIRDEST DEMOCRAT IN THE ROOM!” 

DEMOCRATS INSIST VOTING RIGHTS SHOULD APPLY ONLY TO ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS  

JUSSIE SMOLLETT NOW CLAIMS TO BE PART CHEROKEE INDIAN

FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP STILL SPEAKS MORE LANGUAGES THAN BOTH OBAMAS COMBINED

AOC crazyALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ DECLARES ALL CHILDREN UNDER SIXTEEN YEARS OF AGE TO NOW BE SIXTEEN YEARS OF AGE (with apologies to Woody Allen’s Bananas)

UNDERPRIVILEGED CHILDREN RAISE MONEY TO BUY BRIE LARSON TICKETS TO SEE WONDER WOMAN

BRIE LARSON EXPRESSES AMAZEMENT THAT THERE HAS EVER BEEN ANOTHER ACTION MOVIE STARRING A WOMAN “Well then why am I making such a big deal out of my own lame flick” the privileged white one percenter asked

NATHAN PHILLIPS NOW CLAIMS HE WAS THE WEEPING INDIAN IN THOSE OLD “DON’T LITTER” ADS

Jussie Smollett hoax newsDEMOCRAT MEDIA BEGS PUBLIC FOR A NEW HATE HOAX THEY CAN EXPLOIT TO FAN THE FLAMES OF HATRED: CNN’s Don Lemon in tears

SCRAWNY RIGHT-WING PASSAROUND ANN COULTER CHANGES HER MIND ABOUT TRUMP FOR THE 9,879th TIME Crazed attention hound once supported Chris Christie and Mitt Romney for president

DEMOCRATS DEMAND THAT TRUMPETS BE RENAMED TO AVOID TRIGGERING MARGINALIZED PEOPLE … AS DEFINED BY WHITE, PRIVILEGED ONE-PERCENTER DEMOCRATS

BLM ANNOUNCES PLANS TO SUE JUSSIE SMOLLETT FOR COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT  Hate group claims “Hands Up, Don’t Shoot” was so fake it clearly inspired Smollett’s alleged hoax

DEMOCRATS INSIST THAT ANY DISAGREEMENT WITH DEMOCRATS IS A HATE CRIME AND SHOULD BE PUNISHABLE BY FIRING

AUDIOBOOK OF RUPAUL READING ALOUD FROM MICHELLE OBAMA’S BIOGRAPHY IS A HIT (I’m kidding! I don’t believe Michelle is really a man any more than I believe that Trump colluded with Russia to beat Hillary.)

DEMOCRATS INSIST TRUMP’S MOVE TO DECRIMINALIZE HOMOSEXUALITY AROUND THE WORLD PROVES HE’S A HOMOPHOBE

CHRISTINE BALLSY FRAUD BLASEY FORD CLAIMS BRET KAVANAUGH WAS ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO ALLEGEDLY ATTACKED JUSSIE SMOLLETT

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4 Comments

Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, opinion

4 responses to “MOCK HEADLINES: FEBRUARY 21st

  1. MTR

    “Bananas” is crazily underrated.

    • I agree! I would put that, Love and Death and Sleeper up there with Airplane, Blazing Saddles and This is Spinal Tap but it seems like Woody’s ugly incidents from his later years have colored the attitude toward his films. Even Take the Money and Run had some solid bits as far as I’m concerned.

  2. Claudia

    Even when I disagree with you I still love reading these because my fellow Democrats have become such jerks.

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