Monthly Archives: February 2018

PRINCE: I COULD NEVER TAKE THE PLACE OF YOUR MAN

Mascot new lookRegular readers of Balladeer’s Blog may remember that Prince’s passing a few years ago was what prompted me to start my recurring bit Give Them A Shoutout Before They’re Dead.

Adam Ant was the first artist I gave a shout-out to way back then, but since Prince himself was left out let’s ignore the “dead” part and give him an overdue shout-out anyway. From Sign O’ The Times in 1987 it’s I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man:

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BLACK PANTHER DEFEATS KLAW TO SAVE HIS FELLOW AVENGERS

Avengers 126AVENGERS Volume 1, Number 126 (August 1974)  All the Sights and Sounds of Death

AVENGERS ROSTER: Thor (Donald Blake, MD), Iron Man (Tony Stark), Captain America (Steve Rogers), The Scarlet Witch (Wanda), The Black Panther (Prince T’Challa), The Vision (not applicable), The Swordsman (Jacques Duquesne) and MANTIS (Mantis Brandt).

ALL THE SIGHTS AND SOUNDS OF DEATH

Synopsis: The exact amount of time between the last installment’s conclusion of the Thanos War and the beginning of this installment is another of those things that obsessive fans debate as they try to establish a timeline of Avengers stories. 

In any event this issue starts out at Avengers Mansion in New York City. Inside, Mantis is watching her romantic partner the Swordsman battle some robots in the Avengers’ Training Room. The Swordsman is trying to show off for her because he is still smarting with insecurity over the way Mantis and the Vision seem to be growing more and more attracted to each other. 

The various energy blasts from the Swordsman’s high-tech sword finish off the two remaining robots he’s fighting but Mantis still seems distracted. As they kiss it is obvious her thoughts are already turning toward the Vision.

The Vision himself is pondering his growing fears that his android brain may be malfunctioning. His panic attacks in Dormammu’s quicksand and Taurus’ pool combined with Ant-Man’s mysterious discovery in the Vision’s brain during the Kree-Skrull War all continue to hang in the air.     

Mantis miniMeanwhile, the Vision’s romantic partner the Scarlet Witch, is still torn with her own fears that the Vision may leave her for Mantis. (Two women fighting over him? The Vision really IS fully functional.) Wanda ponders her recent arguments with the Vision and how he always makes the arguments out to be HER fault. Continue reading

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COLLEGE BASKETBALL CONFERENCE TOURNAMENTS CONTINUE

CALIFORNIA PACIFIC CONFERENCE

uc merced golden bobcatsFIRST SEMIFINAL – End of a Dynasty! The 2nd seeded UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA AT MERCED GOLDEN BOBCATS ended the half-decade run in which the (3) CALIFORNIA MARITIME ACADEMY KEELHAULERS dominated the Cal Pacific Conference.

The opening Half was a Defensive Epic, ending with the Golden Bobcats on top of the Keelhaulers 29-21. Cal Maritime, as usual, didn’t give up and forced Overtime with a 55-55 tie to end Regulation. The 1st Overtime session ended knotted up at 63-63 but in the 2nd OT UC-Merced emerged with a 71-70 triumph! Cole Taira led this consummate team effort with his 12 points.

University of Antelope Valley PioneersSECOND SEMIFINAL – This game pitted the top seeds – the UNIVERSITY OF ANTELOPE VALLEY PIONEERS – against the 4th seeded SIMPSON (CA) UNIVERSITY RED HAWKS.

The Pioneers made sure to avoid all the sturm und drang of the First Semifinal and bolted out to a 42-30 lead over the Red Hawks by the Half. From there Antelope Valley’s virtual Teenage Crime Wave continued (bad movie fans will get it) as they smothered Simpson U by a final count of 83-58. The Pioneers were led by Sheldon Blackwell’s 19 points and 6 rebounds. 

THE SUN CONFERENCE

thomas-university-night-hawks-bigOPENING ROUND, GAME ONE – The 3rd seeded THOMAS UNIVERSITY NIGHTHAWKS took the court against the 6 seeds – the COLLEGE OF COASTAL GEORGIA MARINERS.

The Nighthawks utterly dominated the Mariners on both sides of the ball and held a commanding 42-28 lead by Halftime. After the break Thomas University coasted the rest of the way for a 77-65 victory. Katrell Myers tossed in 24 points to lead the way for the Nighthawks. Continue reading

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MOCK HEADLINES ARE BACK: FEBRUARY 25th

mascot new look donkey and elephant headsMURKY MUELLER INSISTS IT’S HIS RIGHT TO KEEP HIS PHONY INVESTIGATION GOING LONG ENOUGH TO LEAK UNSUBSTANTIATED INFO SO AS TO INFLUENCE THE MID-TERM ELECTIONS

JIMMY KIMMEL DEMANDS THAT VICTIMS OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT VIOLENCE SHOULD BE DEPORTED, NOT THE ILLEGALS WHO ASSAULTED THEM

MCMASTERS VOWS TO HOLD ALL FUTURE PRESS CONFERENCES FROM A SEATED POSITION WHILE STROKING A WHITE CAT

FBI CLAIMS IT WAS TOO BUSY WITH ITS ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES TO STOP THE FLORIDA SHOOTER DESPITE MULTIPLE WARNINGS ABOUT HIM

FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP, WIFE OF UNITED STATES PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP, STILL SPEAKS MORE LANGUAGES THAN BOTH OBAMAS COMBINED

DEMOCRATS CLAIM EXPERTS HAVE PROVEN THAT THEY ARE THE ONLY DECENT AND CARING PEOPLE IN THE WORLD AND ANYONE DISAGREEING WITH THEM IS GUILTY OF HATE SPEECH

Holocaust survivor on fascismA TEARY-EYED NANCY PELOSI DECLARES BARACK OBAMA TO BE “AS WRONGLY SUSPECTED OF ILLEGALITIES AS JOHN GOTTI WAS!”

GOTTI FAMILY ANNOUNCES LAWSUIT OVER PELOSI COMPARING THE LATE MAFIA DON TO THE SLEAZY, SLIMY CROOK OBAMA

CNN CLAIMS NO CHILD’S PETS WOULD EVER DIE IF NOT FOR TRUMP

ROGER GOODELL BOASTS ABOUT HOW EASY IT WAS TO DISTRACT MEDIA WORMS FROM TALKING ABOUT ALL THE RAPISTS AND WOMAN-BEATERS IN THE NFL

JARED KUSHNER STILL A BUFFOON, EXPERTS SAY

DEMOCRATS CALL FOR IT TO BE A HATE CRIME TO PUBLICLY MOURN THE VICTIMS OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS WHO COMMIT MURDER

CALIFORNIA INTRODUCES NEW COURTROOM PROCEDURE IN WHICH ANYONE ACCUSED OF ANY CRIME WILL BE PARDONED AND SET FREE AS LONG AS THEY MAKE A PUBLIC STATEMENT AGAINST PRESIDENT TRUMP. Speaking fees, book deals and glowing appearances on all Democrat talk shows add allure to the deal Continue reading

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BLACK PANTHER’S WAR PITTING WAKANDA AGAINST ATLANTIS CONCLUDES

With Marvel’s Black Panther movie making such a splash right now here’s the conclusion of the Summer of 1980 script-doctoring bit about Wakanda and Atlantis fighting each other. 

FOR PART ONE OF THIS ARTICLE CLICK  HERE 

Defenders 86 Quiet Riot

DEFENDERS Vol 1: Number 86 (Aug 1980) – D-Day on Kiber Island  (My title – the original title was The Left Hand of Silence)

On Kiber Island the Defenders are caught between two armies about to collide: On one side an Atlantean army with troops riding on a large number of those subsea monsters Sub-Mariner often uses to attack the surface world. On the other a Wakandan army with troops riding and flying around on a large number of dinosaurs from Serpent Valley. 

Our heroes – Hulk, Sub-Mariner, Valkyrie, Clea and Foolkiller (Greg Salinger) try to shake off the Mandrill’s taunts as his viewscreen shuts off. The Defenders’ actions vary from struggling just to survive amidst all the lumbering monsters and high-tech weaponry of the clashing armies and trying to stop the violence since they know both sides are being manipulated. Foolkiller would be his usual battle-crazed “Emilo Estevez in Young Guns” self while Valkyrie would remind him to spare lives as much as possible.   Continue reading

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DRIVE-IN OF THE DAMNED: FIRST ISSUE OUT NOW

Drive In Of the DamnedBalladeer’s Blog’s love of old exploitation films is well known.

For everyone else who shares my enthusiasm a new ‘zine launched this month.

It’s titled Drive-In of the Damned: The Preservation of Exploitation. One of the features of this debut issue is a lost interview with Ted V Mikels, the man behind films like The Corpse Grinders, Astro-Zombies, The Doll Squad, Blood Orgy of the She-Devils and many more. 

FOR MORE CLICK HERE

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COLLEGE BASKETBALL CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT RESULTS FROM FEBRUARY 23rd

NORTH STAR ATHLETIC ASSOCIATION

Viterbo V-HawksFIRST QUARTERFINAL – The 7 seeds – the VITERBO UNIVERSITY V-HAWKS – put the 2nd seeded UNIVERSITY OF JAMESTOWN JIMMIES on Upset Alert with a 39-36 Halftime edge.

From there the V-Hawks eked out a little bit more separation from the Jimmies, advancing to the Semifinals with a 79-73 stunner. Ethan Haberman led Viterbo University with a Double Double of 26 points and 11 rebounds.

Mayville State Comets SQUARESECOND QUARTERFINAL – Up next the 4th seeded MAYVILLE STATE COMETS clashed with the 5 seeds – the WALDORF UNIVERSITY WARRIORS.

A 33-31 advantage for the Comets over the Warriors was the result by the break. The 2nd Half saw Mayville State add to their lead for a final tally of 75-68. Gorg Alhag of the Comets tossed in THIRTY-TWO points and notched 7 rebounds to lead the victors.  Continue reading

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