Balladeer’s Blog’s sources in the industry – and by the industry I mean the business – have leaked to me the wording of the opening crawl for the next Star Wars movie.
“A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away …
EPISODE X: SUBVERT THIS!
DEJA VU! Rey Skywalker has fallen to the Dark Side! Rechristening herself Empress Palpatine she single-handedly conquered every inhabited world in dozens of galaxies. On the second day she conquered even more!
Using heretofore unknown Force abilities, Empress Palpatine altered the fabric of reality itself to the point where no one alive even remembers a time when she was not the unquestioned ruler of thousands of planets. Continue reading
Even people who hate the way the soulless Disney Corporation has damaged the Star Wars franchise have been letting me know how excited they are about this particular rumor. Word has it that J.J. Abrams and possibly George Lucas have come up with a way of rising from the ruins of Rian “Man-Baby” Johnson’s ineptly directed and poorly written Last Jedi AND make Rey less of a Mary Sue.
How will they do all that? Supposedly by showing that Rey was cloned from Luke’s severed hand from The Empire Strikes Back. (See link below) Though it sounds ludicrous, this would actually undo Rian Johnson’s mangling of many story elements Abrams tried to set him up with in The Force Awakens.
I’m at the most only a casual Star Wars fan, so I’m not that invested in the fate of the franchise or any of its mishandled characters but even I can see how this rumor – if true – could successfully retcon the wreckage left behind by Rian Johnson.
*** Maz, the collector of Force Relics, had Luke’s light saber that fell with his severed hand in Empire. Remember her saying in The Force Awakens that how she got it is “a story for another time?” Whoever she got it from may have used tissue samples from Luke’s hand to create the Rey clone.
*** This would also explain Rey’s bizarrely unlikely familiarity with the Millenium Falcon, the way Luke’s old light saber “called to her” in TFA, and the shadowy memories she experienced when touching the saber in that movie.
*** That theory would also go a long way toward pleasing fans and non-fans alike regarding the way Rey needed no training to do Jedi Mind Tricks or to expertly wield a light saber in her first appearance. If she was cloned from Luke’s genetic material she’d have built-in Force talents. Continue reading
Balladeer’s Blog once again presents a new infographic from Enlightened Digital. The previous one examined AI in movies. This time around it’s a look at 100 Years of Time Travel in Movies. Enjoy!
Give Them A Shoutout Before They’re Dead strikes again here at Balladeer’s Blog. This time it’s Jimmy Buffett with I Don’t Know (Spicoli’s Theme). Say it with me: “Why am I failing History, Mr Hand? I – DON’T – KNOW, Mr Spicoli.”
-“They Came From the Philippines” you could say. ORDER BELOW. It’s a Five-Movie “Hemisphere Box of Horrors” featuring:
THE BLOOD DRINKERS (1964) Also released as The Vampire People and Kulay Dugo Ang Gabi, this was the very first COLOR horror film made in the Philippines.
Special Features for The Blood Drinkers:
- Manong of the Philippines: Interview With Script Supervisor and Gerry De Leon’s AD Dik Trofeo
- Hemisphere Appreciation by Filmmaker David Decoteau
- Audio Commentary With Film Historians Nathaniel Thompson and Howard S. Berger
- Partial Audio Commentary With Hemisphere Marketing Consultant Samuel M. Sherman
- Deleted Scenes
- Blood Drinkers Trailer
- Vampire People Trailer
- Radio Spot Continue reading
February 16th to 17th is when the 2019 Boston Sci-Fi Marathon will happen.
More info is below, but first a list of this year’s eleven movies:
SOURCE CODE (2011)
DR CYCLOPS (1940)
DESTINATION MOON (1950)
INNERSPACE (1987) Continue reading
Brian Thomas, a contributing author over at Enlightened-Digital kindly provided this entertaining look at A Century of AI in films. Thank you, Brian! Have a look: