Monthly Archives: January 2017

January 8, 2017 · 8:37 pm

COLLEGE BASKETBALL RESULTS

hamilton-continentals-faceNUMBER NINE TAKES A FALL – The HAMILTON COLLEGE CONTINENTALS welcomed the number 9 team in the nation – the WESLEYAN UNIVERSITY CARDINALS. The Continentals put the Cardinals on Upset Alert with a 41-32 Halftime lead, then closed the deal by a final score of 92-76. Andrew Groll led Hamilton College with a Double-Double of 20 points and 14 rebounds.

wilson-college-phoenixCENTURY CLUB – Teams scoring 100 or more points in Regulation included: The WILSON COLLEGE PHOENIX and their guests the SAINT ELIZABETH EAGLES had a shootout for the ages, with the Phoenix winning it 104-100    ###    Meanwhile the HILBERT COLLEGE HAWKS eviscerated the PITT-GREENSBURG BOBCATS to the tune of 104-62    ###    And the MEDAILLE COLLEGE MAVERICKS folded, spindled and mutilated the MOUNT ALOYSIUS MOUNTIES 112-50.     Continue reading →

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January 8, 2017 · 1:30 am

CHANGE OF HABIT (1969)

Change of Habit bCHANGE OF HABIT (1969) – This review is in honor of Elvis Presley’s birthday. Change of Habit is a movie that was practically MADE to be ridiculed. You’ve got Elvis Presley, never exactly a master thespian, his sideburns, which out-perform him in this flick and Mary Tyler Moore as a nun torn between her vows and her growing attraction to The King.

Elvis himself plays a doctor named John Carpenter (yes, like the horror film director), making his initials J.C., just like another famous Jewish carpenter … Jacob Cohen. Dr Elvis runs a practice in the ghetto, which should probably be rendered THE GHETTO instead, given the ham-fisted and stereotypical depiction of the neighborhood and its inhabitants.

Elvis’ character  – if you can make it out behind his usual one-note performance – is supposed to be the perfect made-for-film physician: good looking, compassionate and willing to buck the system in order to help his patients. … And, of course, he sings.

Mary Tyler Moore’s Sister Michelle is accompanied by her sister nuns Sister Barbara, played by Jane Elliott in the years before she was a Soap Opera queen, and Sister Irene, played by African-American actress and singer Barbara McNair.

The Catholic Action Committee sends the trio of nuns to help out at Dr Elvis’ clinic so they go “undercover” by hiding the fact that they’re nuns and instead dressing and acting like “regular people”. They do this because they’re convinced the patients will trust them more if they don’t know that the three are nuns. Continue reading →

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January 7, 2017 · 11:49 pm

RUSSIAN HACKING TRUTHERS ARE HILARIOUS!

putin-spy-memeRussian hacking truthers are as hilarious as people who claimed Obama was secretly “a Muslim sleeper agent.” 

For overseas readers let me cut through some of the nonsense.

** The Democrats love to use the misleading phrase “the Russians hacked the election.” That phrase makes it sound like they hacked into our systems and changed votes. Democrats are happy to let people think that and keep encouraging that mistaken notion.

** This loaded phrase about hacking the election actually refers to alleged Russian hackers getting into Democratic National Committee servers AND Hillary’s massively mishandled servers. If you’re confused – and who could blame you given how many times Hillary’s lies have changed – Hillary’s excuses have gone back and forth from pretending she didn’t know how to handle computers, or apps or multiple email accounts, etc.

putin-influence-joke

… … . This pic would be funnier if they hadn’t misspelled “immigrants.” . …

Then when investigators found evidence of Hillary or her fellow white collar criminals destroying evidence with bleach-bit or wiping the servers Hillary’s excuse was that she wouldn’t know how and pretended to think “wiping the servers ” meant using a cloth to wipe them.

** Putting Hillary’s servers aside for the moment, the actual claim about the Russians “hacking” our election is based on the accusation – refuted multiple times by Wikileaks – that Russian hackers OBTAINED THE BOATLOADS OF EVIDENCE OF HILLARY’S VARIOUS CRIMES AND THE DNC’S PLOT TO DESTROY BERNIE SANDERS’ CANDIDACY and turned the info over to Wikileaks.  

obama-cartoon-post-election-strategyONLY the cesspool that IS the 2017 Democratic Party would try to create a scandal over WHO EXACTLY PROVIDED THE EVIDENCE OF ALL THEIR WRONGDOING TO DISTRACT FROM THE FACT THAT NO MATTER WHO LEAKED THE INFO THEY (THE DEMOCRATS) ARE STILL GUILTY OF WRONGDOING! 

** Even more disgustingly, the Democrats have no problem with the exposure of all the bribes and pay-for-play that Hillary accepted from the Saudis and an assortment of other parties. Nope. To them the only issue worth screaming about is “Who had the nerve to leak the proof of our crimes and misdeeds?”  

To them it’s apparently better to have a president like Hillary WHO IS BOUGHT AND PAID FOR BY OTHER COUNTRIES than to have a president get elected because of leaked evidence of the crimes and misdeeds THAT THEY CAN’T DENY HAPPENED BECAUSE OF THAT LEAKED EVIDENCE. Continue reading →

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January 7, 2017 · 5:20 pm

HEIL HONEY, I’M HOME (1990)

Heil Honey I'm HomeTo paraphrase master satirist Stan Freberg’s ad line for Hogan’s Heroes let me just say “If you liked World War Two you’ll LOVE Heil Honey, I’m Home! The premise of this study in cosmic-level bad taste makes it sound like a comedy sketch lampooning the staggering callousness of television executives. Or maybe like a Springtime For Hitler– style moment from a satire on television’s desperation for getting ratings through calculated outrageousness. 

Unfortunately this program was an honest-to-God attempt at launching a sitcom in the U.K. in 1990. Eight episodes were filmed but after the pilot aired for this failed attempt at dark comedy the ensuing outcry ensured the show’s immediate cancellation.

This one-shot wonder was a self-styled “Hitcom”, the producer’s technical term for “Hitler comedy” as opposed to “Sitcom” for Situation Comedy. Are you laughing yet? Heil Honey, I’m Home! depicted Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun as a typical apartment-dwelling couple in 1938 Berlin putting up with the standard sitcom trope of annoying neighbors … in the form of Jewish couple Arny and Rosa Goldenstein. Are you Continue reading →

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January 6, 2017 · 11:35 pm

STAR WARS EPISODE EIGHT SPOILERS II

harrison-ford

… … The elderly hobo who gave me this scoop. … …

Balladeer’s Blog has plenty of top sources in the industry, and of course by the industry I mean the business. Last January one of those sources leaked some spoilers to me about Star Wars Episode Eight: Attack of the Twelve Death Stars.

Strangely enough, a shabby old homeless guy was the source of this second set of spoilers. One of my other highly-placed sources assured me they knew a guy who had a lot of inside information about the new Star Wars films and arranged a secret meeting on a street corner.

Frankly the elderly hobo who showed up at the assigned place made me skeptical at first but maybe he was just in disguise because his info turned out to be rock solid and verifiable. I gave the guy a dollar to help him maintain his cover as a confused beggar and went on my way.

SPOILERS: THE SENSES-SHATTERING ORIGIN OF THE JEDI KNIGHTS – Luke Skywalker really HAS discovered the very first Jedi Temple on that island where Rey found him at the end of Episode Seven.

From the relics Luke examined he learned that the Jedi Knights were originally formed as a performance dance troupe. Their planet of origin was the site of that temple and, like all planets in the Star Wars universe every square inch of it is the same. This planet is composed of endless seas broken up here and there by islands with stone staircases on them.

The Jedi Knights were renowned for their dance moves, especially their back-flips and display of the “one-armed man’s jazz hands” stance. As time went on the pack of appealing, androgynous dancers wanted to spice up their act, so they invented batons that had lasers coming out both ends.

These “light batons” looked dazzling as the Jedi Knights twirled them around while dancing. The only down side was that if you weren’t careful the lasers could cut off one of your own limbs or the limbs of one of your co-dancers. Eons before those light batons began to be used as weapons there was already a tradition of Jedi Knights cutting each other’s hands, arms and legs off. Continue reading →

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January 5, 2017 · 10:09 pm

SCREAMTIME (1984): FILM REVIEW

Screamtime 1Screamtime is one of the forgotten horror anthology films from the 1980s. Supposedly the three main horror tales were originally filmed as individual episodes of a British tv series. Depending on which source you use either the series was cancelled (or never picked up) OR the episodes were deemed to be of too poor a quality.

The trio of horror stories were then edited into movie format for theatrical release with a wraparound story set in New York City. The oddity of the hard-assed New Yorkers watching three veddy, veddy British horror tales is part of the fun of this lame but bearable film. VHS it ain’t. Hell, it’s not even Beta.  Continue reading →

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January 5, 2017 · 5:30 am

HEROIC MUSLIM WOMAN ASRA NOMANI

asra-nomaniAnd we have another member for the real-life League of Extraordinary Women! Her name is Asra Q Nomani, an outspoken critic of the reactionary elements of Islam. She also authored a courageous op-ed piece for the Washington Post‘s website.

Asra added her voice to those of other Trump voters of color disproving the Democrats’ claim that only eeeeevillll white people voted for Trump. The link is below, but first some excerpts: 

“This is my confession — and explanation: I — a 51-year-old, a Muslim, an immigrant woman ‘of color’ — am one of those silent voters for Donald Trump.”

asra-nomani-2“And I’m not a ‘bigot,’ ‘racist,’ ‘chauvinist’ or ‘white supremacist,’ as Trump voters are being called, nor part of some ‘whitelash.”

She goes on to explain that she is a “single mother who can’t afford health insurance under Obamacare,” and a “liberal Muslim who has experienced, first-hand, Islamic extremism in this world.”

Nomani, who says she has been a lifelong liberal (Note from Balladeer: So was I until American Liberals decided Muslim extremists were above reproach), explained that she did not decide to announce her support of Trump publicly until after the election when she “found it offensive that Trump voters were being dismissed as uneducated white voters.” Nomani has courageously dealt with the backlash from the increasingly hate-filled American Left. (Search on-line for the deranged responses to her op-ed.)

asra-nomani-3American Liberals are so anxious to discredit Muslims like Asra who DON’T hate the Western World and to depict them as if they aren’t “authentic.” (As I often point out, to the bullying fascists of American Liberalism, the only “authentic” voices of groups that those American Liberals think they “own” are the voices that agree with every word that American Liberals say.)  

“(W)e as reformers hear all sorts of charges of not being Muslim from the extremists within our community,” Asra went on. (Note from Balladeer – This then allows the cowardly hypocrites of American Liberalism to claim that the Muslims criticizing elements of Islam aren’t “really” Muslims.) Continue reading →

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January 5, 2017 · 12:02 am

VIETNAMESE GOD: NGOC HOANG

ngoc-hoangNGOC HOANG – The Vietnamese equivalent of the Jade Emperor in Chinese mythology. Said in some myths to be the eldest child of Khong Lo and Giat Hai. His actual name is sometimes presented as Ong Troi, though his fellow deities and High Priests are permitted to address him as Thuong De. (But everyone knew him as Nancy for you Beatles fans)

He rules over the Vietnamese pantheon and the heavenly home of the gods – the 18th Heaven above the 18th Heaven (aka the 36th Heaven). He is also in charge of each god and human’s destiny.

While his father Khong Lo was creating the geographical features of the Earth to try to convince Giat Hai to marry him, Ngoc Hoang was creating the animals of the Earth and when he created people, the Twelve Heavenly Midwives (more children of Khong Lo and Giat Hai in some myths) sculpted the faces, as they do today, and these celestial artists take such pride in their work that is why everyone looks different. 

He was also noted for meting out strict punishments when subordinate gods displeased him. Here are some of what I like to call “Don’t Mess With Ngoc Hoang” Myths: Continue reading →

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January 4, 2017 · 6:00 pm

WINNERS AND LOSERS OF 2016

Balladeer’s Blog takes a look at the biggest winners and losers of 2016.

obama-in-trashWINNERS: THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA – No matter who won the presidential election in 2016 they were guaranteed to do a better job than the weak, inept and crooked little man named Barack Obama. To quote Democrat Al Franken “No English-speaking person could do a worse job than” Obama.

In all seriousness there is nothing positive to be said about Barry. Perhaps the best description of him came when he attended the G20 Summit and the other world leaders referred to him as “an irrelevant child.” Brilliant!

Jeb Bush

The most punchable face in the Americas.

LOSERS: THE BUSH FAMILY – America’s most repulsive political family got a well-deserved smackdown and an even MORE deserved reminder of how despised they are. No matter how you feel about Donald Trump you have to admit it was HILARIOUS watching him cut Jeb Bush’s balls off in front of the entire world.

Little Prince Jeb went from being the presumptive Republican nominee to being a mere nuisance ineffectually gnawing at Trump’s ankles. And it was PRICELESS the way Jeb’s father and brother boiled with impotent outrage as America ignored their wish to see Trump defeated. How enjoyable was it that as a nation we got one last chance to remind George HW Bush and George W Bush how little we think of them.  Continue reading →

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January 4, 2017 · 12:17 am

MORE HILARIOUSLY WRONG PREDICTIONS FROM PSYCHICS

nuke-the-moonThe readers of Balladeer’s Blog have spoken! You enjoyed the first go-round of these nuggets so much I’m posting this second helping right now!

IRENE HUGHES – In 1978 she predicted:

— In 1980 Russia would land Cosmonauts on the moon to conduct nuclear weapons tests and international outrage over the incident would result in bloodshed.

— Specifically in January of 1980 San Francisco would suffer an earthquake even more severe than the 1906 earthquake that devastated the city.

jimmy-carter-and-michael-jackson— Jimmy Carter would get reelected with a black Vice Presidential candidate replacing Walter Mondale on the ticket.

— The next passing of Halley’s Comet in the 1980s would result in massive upheavals on Earth such as earthquakes, tsunamis and the outbreak of multiple wars.

— The U.S. President would die of natural causes in or near Russia in 1981. Continue reading →

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