Category Archives: Fantastic Movie Reviews

July 21, 2014 · 8:20 pm

AGENTS OF I.S.L.A.M. – EPISODE THREE

Sajjad Ahmed and his wife Muafia were slain by intolerant Muslims

Sajjad Ahmed and his wife Muafia were slain by intolerant Muslims

The hot cable series Agents of I.S.L.A.M. (Intolerant Savages Loathing All Modernity) continues to reign supreme in the ratings! There is word now of a potential movie deal AND merchandise from the show is selling like crazy! Game of Thrones and The Walking Dead have real competition from this series about violent religious fanatics who practice a faith that is never specified on the show. Episcopalians, maybe?

The Agents of I.S.L.A.M. are forever blowing up and beheading everyone who disagrees with their homophobic, misogynistic and otherwise intolerant beliefs. In the very first episode they even mutilated the genitals of an entire village of unwilling young women, an act that was strangely applauded by the cowardly hypocrites at Brandeis University. Last night’s episode saw the blood-soaked fanatics of the title commit a series of “honor killings”. Continue reading →

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July 9, 2014 · 4:17 pm

AGENTS OF I.S.L.A.M. – EPISODE TWO

A savage threatens beheadings in Trafalgar Square

A savage threatens beheadings in Trafalgar Square

Agents of I.S.L.A.M.‘s debut last week made it the highest rated cable show of the year so far! If you like shows like Falling Skies, Game of Thrones or The Walking Dead you will LOVE this program! In Episode Two cult director Eddie Wozniak has expanded the geographical reach of his fictional group of villains called I.S.L.A.M. (Intolerant Savages Loathing All Modernity).

I.S.L.A.M. is a group of religious fanatics but Wozniak coyly refuses to say which religion they practice. That mystery may or may not be revealed as the storyline progresses. Last week the title villains mutilated the genitals of hundreds of unwilling women according to the dictates of their savage faith, whatever it may be. In this week’s installment the Agents of I.S.L.A.M. undertake multiple missions across the globe.

In England a “twitter jihad” is launched as an Agent threatens that the evil organization he represents will take over England and use Trafalgar Square as an arena for beheadings. Wozniak’s insistence on using beheadings in this series strains credibility. It’s impossible to picture a group in the 21st Century practicing a religion SO hate-filled and blood-soaked that beheadings would be one of their sacraments. Eddie needs to tone it down a little if he wants to maintain even a shred of verisimilitude.   Continue reading →

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July 2, 2014 · 4:21 pm

NEW TELEVISION SERIES: AGENTS OF I.S.L.A.M.

An odd symbol that seems to show up everywhere outrageous atrocities are perpetrated. Weird.

An odd symbol that seems to show up everywhere outrageous atrocities are perpetrated. Weird.

Here is Balladeer’s Blog’s review of the hot new cable series Agents of I.S.L.A.M. from cult director Eddie Wozniak who also has a producer’s credit on this edgy and irreverent new show.

Agents of I.S.L.A.M. features a global network of loosely affiliated religious fanatics, though what particular faith they belong to is never specified on the program. Their organization’s acronym stands for Intolerant Savages Loathing All Modernity so your guess is as good as mine if they represent a real religion or if they are presented as a composite of multiple belief systems.

Last night’s debut episode presented the title villains involved in the genital mutilation of an entire village full of women. Even worse is the way they treat women like slaves and consider them nothing but chattel according to the dictates of their blood-soaked religious book – the title of which is never given for some reason. The barbaric bad guys even beheaded everyone who disagreed with them or refused to convert to their homophobic, misogynistic, xenophobic and otherwise intolerant faith. Continue reading →

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June 30, 2014 · 12:02 am

FILM REVIEW: TO THE FOURTH POWER (2013)

To the 4th PowerTO THE FOURTH POWER (2013) – This film was one of the sleeper hits of last year. You’d think it would be impossible to do something creative with the mock documentary format at this point but To The Fourth Power proves to be a thought-provoking and inventive piece set “just a few years from now”.

The movie depicts a near future in which the Continue reading →

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June 1, 2014 · 3:05 pm

SURPRISES GALORE IN LAST NIGHT’S SERIES FINALE OF TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY GOLEM

GolemThe majority of made for cable programs stay on the air way too long and could learn from the makers of Twenty- First Century Golem, who planned on doing just two seasons and then bringing the story to a close. This controversial show is going out on top in the ratings race and with yet another controversial episode that has angered hatemongers from around the globe.

In the previous week’s cliffhanger ending the Golem had reassembled itself into dozens of human-sized Golems and was face-to- face with Muhammad himself, the blood- soaked central figure of the homophobic and misogynistic belief system called Islam.

Last night’s concluding episode was an all-out action epic and presented a battle royal between a gigantic Muhammad and the human- sized Golems for the first 10 minutes. At one point Muhammad had imprisoned the Golems in a force field and turned his attention to what he loved best – killing gay people and oppressing women. Continue reading →

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May 25, 2014 · 3:10 pm

TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY GOLEM: OUR HERO MOPS THE FLOOR WITH BOKO HARAM

GolemLast night’s episode of Twenty-First Century Golem, the highest- rated cable show in history, was an all-out action extravaganza! In last week’s cliffhanger ending Barack Obama, the blustering comic- relief villain of the series, had ordered all of America’s satellite weaponry targeted on the Golem. As always props to the show’s creative team for being courageous and irreverent enough to target an American president for such savage satirical treatment. Continue reading →

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May 18, 2014 · 6:01 pm

LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE OF TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY GOLEM

GolemFollowing last week’s episode which was censored by the Obama administration because of its references to the United States government’s lies about the Benghazi attack last night’s fourth episode of this 2nd season of Twenty-First Century Golem premiered to the show’s highest ratings ever. Continue reading →

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May 11, 2014 · 2:27 pm

TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY GOLEM: OBAMA ADMINISTRATION ORDERS THE PRE-EMPTING OF LAST NIGHT’S BENGHAZI EPISODE

Four dead in Benghazi

Four dead in Benghazi

Last night’s episode of the hit cable series Twenty-First Century Golem (about Jewish mythology’s clay monster the Golem having adventures in the present-day) was scratched and a rerun aired in its place after the Obama administration declared that the subject matter – the Golem getting mixed-up in battles with the terrorists behind the attack on America’s diplomatic compound in Benghazi – might inspire violence in the Muslim world. “The producers are lucky their asses aren’t in jail” Obama quipped.

It was a reminder about how Obama lied when claiming that a youtube video that displayed irreverence to Islam caused the 9-11 anniversary attack on the U.S. compound in Libya back in 2012. All the evidence that has come out since then indicates that Obama intentionally lied to spare himself embarrassment and inconvenience during his reelection campaign, fearful that the well-planned Benghazi attack would expose yet another of his administration’s lies: that Al Qaeda was supposedly “on the run.” (Tet Offensive, anyone?)

In an exclusive statement to Balladeer’s Blog Obama had this to say: Continue reading →

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May 4, 2014 · 3:28 pm

LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE OF TWENTY-FIRST CENTURY GOLEM

GolemThe adventures of the mythical Jewish monster the Golem in the present day continued last night in this award- winning cable series that has riveted the nation like Game of Thrones, The Walking Dead and True Blood. So far in this second season the heroic Golem is trapped in an enormous kaiju-height form as a result of last year’s season-ending cliffhanger. Continue reading →

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April 28, 2014 · 5:03 am

SUPERMODEL M*E*T*A*L SAYS: “ALL MY MEN READ BALLADEER’S BLOG … OR THEY READ NOTHING AT ALL”

M*E*T*A*L: A beautiful, brainy and butt-kicking fan of Balladeer's Blog.

M*E*T*A*L: A beautiful, brainy and butt-kicking fan of Balladeer’s Blog.

With apologies to English Leather, M*E*T*A*L makes a very persuasive argument that readers of Balladeer’s Blog are the sexiest and most intelligent readers on the internet. FOR MORE CLICK HERE: Continue reading →

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