Author Archives: balladeer

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About balladeer

I am passionately interested in college sports, ancient Greek comedies, bad/weird movies, mythology, the American Revolution, Puck Magazine, World War I, U.S. Presidential history, silent movies, the English Civil War, epic, lyric and comic poetry, U.S. Supreme Court history, the Revolutions of 1848, the Philippine War and old pulp heroes like The Moon Man, Pilot G8, Silver John and The Rio Kid.

RUSSIAN BILL: NEGLECTED GUNSLINGER

Frontierado is this Friday, August 2nd, so just a few days left for seasonal posts this calendar year! As ever, this holiday is about the myth of the Old West, not the grinding reality. 

Wolf Kahler Russian Bill

Wolf Kahler would have made a good Russian Bill

RUSSIAN BILL – William Tatenbaum aka Waldemar Tethenborn aka Feador Telfrin was born in Russia as the son of Countess Telfrin. Russian Bill’s noble birthright was confirmed by the American Consul in Saint Petersburg, Russia after Bill’s death by lynching in 1881.

That’s important to note because during William Tatenbaum’s travels in the American West many people thought the smooth-talking Russian gunslinger was lying about being a nobleman. Apparently they assumed he was a forerunner of the 20th Century’s Mike Romanoff, who became a celebrity based on his brassy – but failed – attempt to pass himself off as a member of the fallen Romanoff dynasty.

The 19th Century’s William Tatenbaum might have lived a longer life if he had pursued a similar con-man’s career instead of falling into the life of a guns-blazing outlaw.

Wolf Kahler Russian Bill 3While serving in the Tsar’s Imperial White Hussars (cavalry) and after seeing action in the Khivan Campaign, the future Russian Bill had a violent falling out with a superior officer. The exact nature of the conflict is not known and years later the Countess Telfrin would refer to it only as “a political affair.”   

Bill left Russia under a cloud and at some point wound up in the American West. The wandering rogue made references to having gambled on Mississippi Riverboats and in assorted Texas towns while participating in periodic “duels” (gunfights) over ladies or related matters of “honor.” Given how true Russian Bill’s claims to nobility turned out to be, all the other claims he made about his mysterious past need to be taken with some seriousness.

Wolf Kahler Russian Bill 2Tatenbaum certainly looked and otherwise fit the part of the Old West Gambler better than the rougher outlaw he later became. He was described as a dandified dresser and sported expensive pistols. In addition he was well-spoken, well-educated and fluent in at least four languages, all of which would have accounted for his popularity with the ladies. His supposedly handsome face, curly blonde hair and moustache would have helped.  

By the late 1870s Russian Bill was in the Animas Valley in Southwestern New Mexico Territory where he fell in with the Clanton Crime Faction, whose control extended from there to parts of Arizona Territory. Some accounts claim Bill first took to committing crimes with them to pay off a gambling debt to one of the gang. Continue reading

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FRONTIERADO FLASHMAN: FLASHMAN AND THE REDSKINS (1982)

Frontierado is fast approaching! Friday, August 2nd is the big day! Here’s my January review of Flashman and the Redskins again since it’s appropriate to the holiday. 

Alan Bates -better Flashman than MalcolmFor Balladeer’s Blog’s Number One Harry Flashman Novel click HERE  . 

For background info on George MacDonald Fraser’s infamous anti-hero Harry Paget Flashman you can also click that link.

 

flashman and the redskins 27. FLASHMAN AND THE REDSKINS (1982)

Time Period: Part One – 1849-1850, Part Two – 1875-1876

The Flashman novels jump around to different periods of the fictional Harry Flashman’s life. This book covers his adventures with the Forty-Niners on the way to the California gold fields as well as his much later involvement in the Sioux Uprising.

Favorite Book Blurb: “The West is just wild about Harry!” (It came long before “See what I did there?” was a thing, but the sentiment still applies.) 

NOTE: Once again Fraser used the structure of a swashbuckling, guns-blazing adventure story to cast his critical eye on some of the Great Names and Great Events of the 19th Century. Get ready for another generous helping of “History Noir” as only George could write it: by blending fact, fiction and satirical subtext in a way which scandalizes BOTH the political right AND the left.

And as always when viewed against the backdrop of history’s major atrocities the amoral carnal and monetary pursuits of that British blackguard Harry Paget Flashman look almost harmless by comparison.  

flashman and the redskinsSynopsis: The plot of Flashman and the Redskins picks up immediately after the end of Flash For Freedom (1971). Still stranded without funds in 1849 America our antihero returns to the welcoming arms – and bed – of brothel madam Susie Willink. That voluptuous MILF has been bitten by the Gold Bug and invites Harry to join her and her stable of prostitutes as part of a wagon train headed to California.

Soon the expatriate British Cavalry Officer is traipsing across the continent alongside the young Kit Carson himself. Harry, Kit, Susie and their wagon train wind up negotiating with and/or fighting Pawnee, Arapaho and other assorted tribes of Native Americans as well as combating cholera, thirst and hunger along the way.

Since Fraser can never resist slipping Flashman into tantalizingly unresolved historical footnotes we get Harry’s account of the mysterious final days at the original Bent’s Fort. Tossed in for good measure we learn that our favorite British scoundrel was the man who supposedly taught the young Crazy Horse how to wink, which was reportedly a very UN-Oglala-like thing to do.  Continue reading

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Filed under FRONTIERADO, Neglected History, Pulp Heroes

LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES AND FASCISM

Mascot with demo and repub headsIt’s been quite awhile since one of Balladeer’s Blog’s “Liberals and Conservatives and …” items, largely because of how increasingly outdated and irrelevant the labels Liberal and Conservative have become in recent years.

Regular readers know that I get attacked by both left-wingers and right-wingers since I refuse to play along with their silly “shirts versus skins” thinking which dictates you MUST declare yourself part of either the left or the right even though we can all see what a monumental mess that divisive thinking has resulted in.

More and more of us adults have accepted that a combination of supposedly “left-wing” and supposedly “right-wing” approaches to life is far more constructive than the shrill, “strictly one or the other” partisanship practiced in the past.

The people who still pretend to be “Liberals” though their worldview has NOTHING to do with liberty and EVERYTHING to do with imposing taboos have run rings around the people who still pretend to be “Conservatives.” One of the false notions pushed by the left-wing Archie Bunkers of the 1960s generation is that fascism is purely a product of right-wing fanaticism when it is really a product of fanaticism from either end of the political spectrum.

mascot new look donkey and elephant headsEven the meaning of the word fascism comes from fasces, the ancient symbol involving a bundle of rods or sticks with an axe-head protruding from them. From there the axe-head was largely dropped and fascii (plural) from then on referred to the bundle of rods or sticks.

The sticks gave way to arrows in some imagery, like the infamous “Yoke and the Arrows” of the Falangists in the Spanish Civil War. The overall message of the clump or bundle of sticks remained the same as it had been for centuries: one stick (or for more dramatic impact, one arrow) could be easily broken. Together in a bundle the multiple sticks could NOT be easily broken.

This has always been the grotesque appeal and the message of fascism no matter which side of the political spectrum practices its ugliness: one lone, otherwise insignificant person can be easily broken, but TOGETHER, many otherwise insignificant people cannot be easily broken. That description applies to fascist groups all the way up through the present-day gang which is ironically called Antifa (the biggest fascists of the moment).  Continue reading

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MID-SOUTH CONFERENCE EXPANDS TO TWELVE TEAMS

Mid-South ConferenceThe NAIA’s Mid-South Conference announced that it will add three more teams for the 2020-2021 season, bringing the league’s total number of teams to twelve.

Fans of the old Trans-South Conference will be delighted to hear that the three teams will be the Martin Methodist College Redhawks, the Freed-Hardeman University Lions and the Bethel (TN) University Wildcats. Continue reading

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GET MEAN (1975): SPAGHETTI WESTERN REVIEW

Just a few more days until the Frontierado Holiday this Friday, August 2nd.

Get MeanGET MEAN (1975)- One of the weirdest Spaghetti Westerns ever made and that’s saying something! Get Mean stars Tony Anthony and was also released under the title The Stranger Gets Mean, making it the final movie in Anthony’s series of Italo-Westerns as the enigmatic gunslinger known only as the Stranger.

Another alternate title the movie was released under was Beat A Dead Horse, reflecting the view of Anthony and his production company that Spaghetti Westerns really were beating that dead horse of a subgenre for everything they could squeeze out of it by this point. Emphasizing that point was the way Get Mean features its heroic gunfighter clashing with anachronistic Vikings, Moors and an evil hunchback who loves quoting Shakespeare (for obvious reasons).

The film starts out with Tony Anthony’s character being dragged into a ghost town in a box canyon by a horse he’s been tied to. We glimpse Tony through a small orb like the kind used by Gypsy fortune-tellers. Many viewers use that orb to support their argument that Anthony’s gunslinger will be magically traveling through time and that THAT’S why he battles out of date Vikings and Moors.

It still wouldn’t explain why they speak Spanish and/or English or any of the dozens of OTHER problems that would result from a time-travel explanation. My view is to just enjoy it as weirdness for weirdness’ sake. Think of it like Six-String Samurai but without the actual meaning behind that film’s metaphors. Continue reading

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Filed under Bad and weird movies, FRONTIERADO, Spaghetti Westerns

PRETTY PIERRE: GAMBLER-GUNSLINGER OF CANADA

The Frontierado Holiday coming up on Friday August 2nd is all about the myth of the Old West, not the grinding reality.

Gilbert ParkerPRETTY PIERRE – Created by Canadian author Gilbert Parker, Pretty Pierre was a Canadian version of fictional American Western Pulp Heroes like Deadwood Dick and many others. Pierre was a smuggler and gambler/gunslinger whose adventures took place in Canada and Alaska in the late 1800s. 

The very first Pretty Pierre story, The Patrol of the Cypress Hills, was published in The Independent in 1890. Many stories followed and were published in two collections: Pierre and His People (1892) and Pierre, A Romany of the Snows (1896).

That second collection was published in England under the title An Adventurer of the North in 1898, often leading to the mistaken belief that there are actually three separate collections of Pierre short stories but this is not the case.  

Pierre was the son of a Canadian woman and a Native American of no specific designation. The Pretty One was raised by his father’s people for a time then began moving in white Canadian circles. His good looks and elegant clothing earned him his nickname but he made his living as a gambler/gunslinger and as a smuggler (Think of the real-life Montana Kid, covered previously here at Balladeer’s Blog). Continue reading

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COLLEGE FOOTBALL: BLUE DRAGONS PICKED TO WIN THE JAYHAWK CONFERENCE

Hutchinson CC Sports Information
Friday, July 26, 2019

Hutchinson Blue DragonsWICHITA – For the second time in the Rion Rhoades’ era, the Hutchinson College Blue Dragons football team is the preseason favorite to win the Jayhawk Conference championship.

The Jayhawk Conference’s preseason coaches’ poll was released on Friday at the league’s annual Media Day at Newman University’s Dugan Library. In addition Continue reading

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POLITICAL CARTOONS: JULY 26th

Captain Pike

ROBERT MUELLER

Robert Mueller did his best Captain Pike imitation this week to further cement what a joke and a waste of time his farcical “investigation” was. Some compared Mueller’s testimony to Weekend at Bernie’s and given how brain-dead Murky Mueller seemed they may be on to something.

It was hilarious to watch this corrupt and worthless little man slither off into the sunset accompanied by the boos and impotent outrage of anti-Trump fascists.   

This cartoon found another excellent comparison for the crooked Mueller’s abysmal performance: 

Mueller deer in the headlights 

But there’s something to be said for this next comparison, too:

Mueller wile e coyote

And if you prefer the classics: 

Mueller Hindenburg

Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

RUTGER HAUER, RIP: PRECIOUS FIND (1996)

Rutger Hauer has passed away. In the usual Balladeer’s Blog custom when an actor dies, here’s an affectionate look at one of Rutger’s most enjoyably bad movies. 

Precious Find goodPRECIOUS FIND (1996) – This is a hilariously bad attempt to do a science fiction version of The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. That description makes this movie sound much, MUCH better than it really is.

In the far future a lunar colony called Moon City is the jumping-off point for prospectors who travel to various asteroids trying to strike “precious finds” in the form of valuable metals and precious stones. The Christmas background adds to the fun in this UN-intentional comedy.

Rutger Hauer, whose performances run the quality gamut from Lawrence Olivier to Nicolas Cage, is very firmly in Cage territory in this bomb. Hauer plays Armond Crille, a former prospector who has given up hard work for the more lucrative trade of fleecing bored prospectors at the card-playing tables. Continue reading

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FAQ: ARE SJW’s LOSERS OR JUST FOOLS?

Mascot new lookSJW’s: LOSERS OR JUST FOOLS? – SJW’s are the modern-day equivalent of those primly disapproving religious nuts who spent their lives trying to impose their own uptight notions of right and wrong on other people. Except SJW’s are even more sad and pathetic.

By way of this general announcement I will once again remind the ridiculous poseurs who refer to themselves as SJW’s that, if they expect me to allow their comments to show – comments in which they absurdly refer to themselves with that hilariously pretentious and grandiose SJW label – then they have to address me as a “Heroic Defender of Freedom.”

Doing so might just convey to you what silly “only child” jackasses you look like to other people when you use that lame SJW title.

First – Calling YOURSELF an SJW is as meaningless as the way some of you compound this narcissistic idiocy by labeling yourselves a “Public Intellectual” on your social media home pages. Face it, if you’re reduced to designating YOURSELF as an intellectual – public or otherwise – you’re probably not one.

Second – The term “Social Justice” is as ridiculous as the Right-Wing term “Family Values.” Reasonable adults will not necessarily ever agree on the meaning of such silly generalities. Everyone knows when SJW’s and their ilk refer to Social Justice they REALLY mean only their own definition of it – a definition polluted by their political prejudices and self-centered drama queen tendencies.

Third – “Warriors” do not simply file a complaint about every person who says something they disagree with. “Snitches,” “Crybabies” and “Informants” do, however. Continue reading

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