Tag Archives: Fantastic Movie Reviews

THE BEN AFFLECK SHOW: DEFENDER OF THE FAITH

Ben Affleck portrays a superhero who defends Muslim terrorists from anyone who interferes with them on The Ben Affleck Show.

Ben Affleck portrays a superhero who defends Muslim terrorists from anyone who interferes with them on The Ben Affleck Show.

Ben Affleck’s latest venture is this eponymous web series in which he portrays Haven Monahan, a gutless hypocrite who hates Christianity and Judaism but grovels for Islam. Still hopelessly embittered by the scorn he gets for his disastrous turn in Daredevil and for any other casting of him as a costumed crimefighter Affleck has decided to tackle his critics head-on by starring as a superhero called the Defender of the Faith.

Whenever anyone is courageously standing up to Islamic oppression or violence Haven Monahan (Affleck) becomes the Defender of the Faith and ensures that non-Muslims are victimized by any Muslim fanatic in the vicinity.

Affleck as the costumed superhero the Defender of the Faith.

Affleck as the costumed superhero the Defender of the Faith.

Episode One, posted last night, was torn from recent headlines as Affleck’s Defender of the Faith swung into action to prevent a handful of heroic non-Muslims from interfering with a crazed Muslim gunman. The Defender of the Faith beat the interlopers unconscious then left the scene so the Muslim terrorist could wrack up a body count of innocent bystanders.

Talking about his latest role Affleck (who also produces and directs the web series) stated “My own ancestors were slave-owners and slavery is a tradition that the Muslim world has kept going long after the West abandoned it, so I’ve always felt a certain kinship to Islam. Continue reading

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Filed under Fantastic Movie Reviews, humor, opinion

INDEPENDENCE DAY: TO THE FOURTH POWER

To the 4th PowerTO THE FOURTH POWER (2013) – This film was one of the sleeper hits of last year. You’d think it would be impossible to do something creative with the mock documentary format at this point but To The Fourth Power proves to be a thought-provoking and inventive piece set “just a few years from now”.

The movie depicts a near future in which the Continue reading

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Filed under Fantastic Movie Reviews, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

ROOTS 3: THE BEN AFFLECK STORY

"I come from a long line of slave-owning scumbags."

“I come from a long line of slave-owning scumbags.”

Ben Affleck, best known for being a cowardly apologist for and enabler of Muslim homophobia and misogyny, is at the center of a new controversy because of his heavy-handed attempts to get his family’s history of slave-owning censored from a PBS documentary. Meanwhile, another film has been released about Affleck’s slave-owning family.

In the new movie titled Roots 3: The Ben Affleck Story, Affleck was quoted as saying “I learn a few lines for movies and that makes me above you commoners. My role in life is giving finger-wagging lectures to the peons. I should be above the humiliation of being exposed as the scion of a repulsive family of slave-owners. That’s off the record, by the way.” Continue reading

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FUNKY FERGUSON: HELD OVER ANOTHER SMASH WEEK

Hands Up Don't Shoot

Unidentified black men making with the ubiquitous new hand-signal which means “I have a very small penis.”

FUNKY FERGUSON – This late December release continues to absolutely dominate the box office. Funky Ferguson is the title character of this very dark satire which uses the style and structure of 1970’s blaxploitation films to comment on the horrific events in Ferguson, MO. Continue reading

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FILM REVIEW: TO THE FOURTH POWER (2013)

To the 4th PowerTO THE FOURTH POWER (2013) – This film was one of the sleeper hits of last year. You’d think it would be impossible to do something creative with the mock documentary format at this point but To The Fourth Power proves to be a thought-provoking and inventive piece set “just a few years from now”.

The movie depicts a near future in which the Continue reading

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MOVIE REVIEW: THE WORLD’S A STAGE (2014)

Would ALEC BALDWIN find the plot of this movie a little too close to reality?

Would ALEC BALDWIN find the plot of this movie a little too close to reality?

The World’s A Stage (2014 – Glitternight productions) – This independent film, though set here in the 21st Century, is reminiscent of ancient Greek political satires like the ones penned by Aristophanes, Eupolis and Cratinus as well as the parathespian comedies of Strattis. A traveling troupe of actors visit an unnamed town and are a huge hit in a play dramatizing the heroics of a group of honest politicians. The citizens are bowled over by their performances and elect the men and women of the theatre troupe to actually govern their town.

Naturally the shallow and vain thespians are in way over their heads when it comes to dealing with real-world responsibilities and problems. Their egotistical need for applause and approval also makes them unfit for office, especially when it comes to Continue reading

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MOVIE REVIEW: THE BADLANDS BEAUTY (2014)

THE BADLANDS BEAUTY (2014)

THE BADLANDS BEAUTY (2014)

The Badlands Beauty (2014- Glitternight Productions) is an explosive action film starring the supermodel known as M*E*T*A*L. Regular readers of Balladeer’s Blog will remember M*E*T*A*L as the beautiful woman who poses as Edward Wozniak’s Neo-Pulp superheroine the Matriarch.

M*E*T*A*L is moving into acting in what may be the most memorable movie debut since Eddie Murphy in 48 Hours. Our gorgeous heroine is an outlaw biker babe who can out-drink, out-shoot, out-fight and out-ride all of the male bikers in her dangerous circles. While M*E*T*A*L – called Nomad in the film – is partying hard at a dive in an unnamed town in northern Mexico she Continue reading

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