Tag Archives: Fantastic Films

FANTASTIC FILMS TO SHOCK HOLLYWOOD

Hollywoodland

Hollywoodland

Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only site on the web that is truly non-partisan in its criticism of Liberals and Conservatives.

As I have often pointed out in the past there are no such things as right and wrong, there are simply things that a culture finds acceptable and things that a culture frowns upon. Six decades ago Hollywood films conformed to the tired Conservative cliches of Eisenhower’s America and earlier years. Today Hollywood films conform to the tired Liberal cliches of the Political Correctness Police.

As always fringe filmmaking is where the courageous storytelling is to be found. The gutless, pandering Hollywood studios all make cookie- cutter movies lacking any sort of diversity in their worldview. Long ago it was uniformly mindless Conservative films being churned out by the dozens. In recent decades it’s been uniformly mindless Liberal films being churned out by the dozens. So let’s proceed with this light- hearted look at movies no Hollywood studio would touch today.

Crimson ImamNot Coming Soon – THE CRIMSON IMAM – A heroic Muslim woman dons a red costume and mask, then takes to the streets of her Muslim community punishing men who physically abuse women in the name of the outdated dictates of their religion.

Calling herself the Crimson Imam she becomes a nationwide role model and inspires a large-scale feminist movement within Islam. Eventually women and gay people are embraced by Islam, with female clergy and gay marriages commonplace and with abortion rights a new Muslim priority.

What You’d See Instead – THE CRIMSON NUN – A heroic Christian woman dons a red habit and mask, then takes to the streets of her Christian community punishing priests who molest children and Continue reading

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Filed under Fantastic Movie Reviews, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

PRESIDENTIAL ACTION AND HORROR FILMS

George WashingtonGEORGE WASHINGTON BATTLES THE BERSERKERS – During the brutal winter at Valley Forge General George Washington must contend with more than just the elements and the distant British army. The Hessian troops the Redcoats have imported from the German- speaking world have unleashed a master plan to overrun the Continental Army once and for all.

Their ranks boast a dabbler in Nordic magic and he’s concocted a mushroom-heavy formula to transform all the Hessians into furious berserkers like those of the Viking age! George is having none of it of course, and plans to turn the Pennsylvania snow red with the blood of these latter-day berserkers of the ancient Germanic god Woden.

All this plus a gay love affair between Washington and Alexander Hamilton just to guarantee lots of free publicity! 

John AdamsJOHN ADAMS: WITCHSLAYER – Remember the tale of young John Adams defending a 1700s Wiccan priestess when he was a lawyer? This movie would proceed from the notion that the young witch went on to involve Adams in a battle royal with an evil coven of dark witches who were giving paganism a bad name!

Using an aresenal of mystic weapons provided by the priestess he defended John goes on to lay the thirteen witches and warlocks of the dark coven in their graves! Throw in an Continue reading

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Filed under Bad and weird movies, Fantastic Movie Reviews, humor

THE WORLD’S A STAGE (2014)

Would ALEC BALDWIN find the plot of this movie a little too close to reality?

Would one percenter ALEC BALDWIN find the plot of this movie a little too close to reality?

The World’s A Stage (2014 – Glitternight productions) – This independent film, though set here in the 21st Century, is reminiscent of ancient Greek political satires like the ones penned by Aristophanes, Eupolis and Cratinus as well as the parathespian comedies of Strattis.

A traveling troupe of actors visit an unnamed town and are a huge hit in a play dramatizing the heroics of a group of honest politicians. The citizens are bowled over by their performances and elect the men and women of the theatre troupe to actually govern their town.

Naturally the shallow and vain thespians are in way over their heads when it comes to dealing with real-world responsibilities and problems. Their egotistical need for applause and approval also makes them unfit for office, especially when it comes to Continue reading

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BALLADEER’S TV LISTINGS: TONIGHT’S PROGRAMS

mark-cuban

One percenter Mark Cuban (actual size)

MARK CUBAN AS MIGHTY MOUSE (children) – The diminutive rich pig makes a public fool of himself once again, this time by performing in a live action version of the old cartoon show Mighty Mouse.

Tonight’s episode was even written by Cuban, a former Keebler elf, and is titled Big Money, Little Manhood. Supposedly it’s semi-autobiographical.    Continue reading

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ALL IN THE FAMILY: THE NEXT GENERATION

Rob Reiner

Rob Reiner’s character Meathead struggles to deal with the fact that his worldview is FIVE DECADES out of date.

All in the Family: The Next Generation, the brand-new sitcom from Glitternight Productions debuts tonight. Cult director Eddie Wozniak strikes again with this controversial update to the original 1970s series which blended the standard family sitcom format with a nearly Ibsenesque examination of social and political issues. 

Rob Reiner is back as Meathead aka Michael Stivic. This time around Stivic is the Archie Bunker-type character to reflect the way that Rob Reiner’s generation of self-infatuated 1960s fools have grown as stagnated in their thinking and as trapped in the past as was the original Archie Bunker generation. Continue reading

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BLU-RAY RELEASE OF THE BURQA (2013)

NOW ON BLU-RAY IT’S ONE OF 2013’s MOST CONTROVERSIAL MOVIES! 

The Burqa: A heroic woman fighting Muslim Apartheid and defending women's rights.

The Burqa: A heroic woman fighting Muslim Apartheid and defending women’s rights.

THE BURQA (2013) – The Burqa was THE action film of the year 2013. This movie had a daring premise, incredible stuntwork plus more killings and blood squibs than any three Quentin Tarantino movies put together. There was also an unforgettable performance by the lead actress, whose name is STILL being kept a secret over fears of violent reprisals from Islamist terrorist groups.

The film was set in 2013 Iraq. Our heroine,  known only as “The Burqa” emerges from the desert sands, clad in the outfit she is named for and with automatic weapons strapped to each of her sashaying thighs. Like Clint Eastwood’s Man With No Name and John Garko’s Holy Ghost, both from Spaghetti Westerns, the Burqa is an unstoppable gunslinger who litters the land with her fallen foemen.

The audience first meets the title figure when she saves a teenage Muslim girl from being raped and killed by Islamist fanatics for daring to dress in western clothing and to advocate abortion rights. Countless Continue reading

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THE FOUR MOST DARING MOVIES AND TV SHOWS OF 2015

Here at Balladeer’s Blog I like to save up my lists about highlights of the year until after the year is officially completed. Here’s a look at the most truly irreverent and iconoclastic pieces of entertainment from the year just past.

"I come from a long line of slave-owning scumbags."

“I come from a long line of slave-owning scumbags.”

ROOTS 3: THE BEN AFFLECK STORY – This was a fascinating look at how involved Ben’s ancestors were in the slave trade AND about his heavy-handed attempts to get his family’s history of slave-owning censored from a PBS documentary.     Continue reading

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