Category Archives: humor

EVEN MORE MOCK TRUMP HEADLINES

Before ObamacareFIFTY PERCENT OF ALL CAR ACCIDENTS ARE CAUSED BY DONALD TRUMP’S NEGLIGENCE. THE OTHER FIFTY PERCENT HE CAUSES INTENTIONALLY!

DEMOCRATS INSIST TRUMP SHOULD BE IMPEACHED FOR DOING WHAT ALL PREVIOUS PRESIDENTS HAVE DONE!

SHOCKING POLL REVEALS THAT PEOPLE WHO HATED TRUMP YESTERDAY STILL HATE HIM TODAY!

obama obamacare jokeDEMOCRATS PROCLAIM “IF YOU’RE NOT WITH US, YOU’RE AGAINST US!”

DEMOCRATS FOLLOW THAT PROCLAMATION UP BY SAYING “PEOPLE SHOULD BE MADE TO AGREE … WITH US, THAT IS. ALL THE TIME. IF THEY KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR THEM”

SO THIS IS HOW LIBERTY DIES … AT THE HANDS OF FASCIST MOBS WHO REFUSE TO ACCEPT FACTS

Obamacare corpseAMERICAN COMEDIANS LOSE ABILITY TO BE FUNNY – INSIST ALL PUNCHLINES TO ALL JOKES MUST EXPRESS RABID HATRED OF TRUMP. OR YOU’LL NEVER WORK AGAIN.

DEMOCRATS DEFIANTLY BOAST “THE PEOPLE WHO DIED UNDER OBAMACARE MEAN NOTHING TO US! WE CAN’T EXPLOIT THEIR DEATHS!” 

PAUL KRUGMAN BLAMES HIS SMALL PENIS ON TRUMP Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

HILLARY CLINTON: POSTER CHILD FOR WHITE PRIVILEGE

Yes, when Hillary “Bugsy” Clinton isn’t grabbing Justice by the pussy she continues to trot out the same old excuses for her humiliating loss to Donald Trump. Since Crooked Hillary spouts nothing but the same old thing here’s a re-post of my late 2016 item about THE HILLARY CLINTON EXCUSE CALENDAR FOR 2017.

Hey, when this 21st Century Marie Antoinette gets new material so will I!

hillary-clinton-excusesCareer criminal Hillary Clinton continues to blame everyone but herself for her humiliating loss to Donald Trump this year. One of the hot-selling items headed into the New Year is a calendar on which each day features one of the Hillarytron’s whiny, self-serving excuses.

You’ll get three hundred sixty-five gems like:

THE RUSSIANS FORCED HILLARY TO RUN A FAKE CHARITY, ACCEPT BRIBES AND MISHANDLE CLASSIFIED INFORMATION!

THE VOTES OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS SHOULD BE THE ONLY VOTES THAT COUNT!

MALE VOTERS FELT THREATENED BY A WOMAN LIKE HILLARY WHO LIVES OFF THE ACCOMPLISHMENTS OF HER HUSBAND!

HILLARY’S SHRILL VOICE WAS SO HIGH-PITCHED ONLY DOGS COULD HEAR HER LIES AND PROMISES.

map

… … RED – Trump, Blue – Hillary

ISOLATED, HEAVILY POPULATED POCKETS OF POMPOUS SNOBS AND BLOATED RICH PIGS SHOULD GET TO DICTATE HOW THE REST OF THE COUNTRY LIVES!

BLACK VOTERS FORGOT WE DEMOCRATS OWN THEM LIKE WE DID ON OUR PLANTATIONS!

OBAMA TOLD HILLARY IT WAS A GOOD STRATEGY TO CALL MOST OF THE COUNTRY “A BASKET OF DEPLORABLES.”

AMERICANS ARE BIASED AGAINST CAREER CRIMINALS LIKE HILLARY!

UPPITY ORANGE PEOPLE LIKE TRUMP LOVE TO PLAY IDENTITY POLITICS! Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

BLACK CONDOR: THE OFFICIAL SUPERHERO OF BALLADEER’S BLOG

Black CondorRegular readers of Balladeer’s Blog know that words like eccentric, oddball, offbeat, weird and damn crazy come to mind when describing me. So, that being the case the most appropriate superhero mascot for this site is the Black Condor.

That’s the Golden Age Black Condor, who debuted in 1940 and is now in the public domain, not the newer comic book characters going by that name. The original Black Condor appeals to me in the same way that bad movies do. Here are the six reasons why this figure has long been my favorite weirdass Golden Age superhero:

ONE: HE STARRED IN A COMIC BOOK TITLED CRACK COMICS! Yep. Crack Comics number 1 marked the first appearance of the Black Condor. Very appropriate for a hero whose whole story sounds like it was inspired by smoking a crack pipe. Continue reading

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Filed under humor, Superheroes

DEMOCRATS ACCUSE TRUMP OF KILLING CHUCK BERRY AND CHUCK BARRIS

Democratic Party jackassThe Democrats, living up to Nancy Pelosi’s vow to “make Caligula look sane,” have now accused United States President Donald Trump of conspiring to assassinate Chuck Berry and Chuck Barris. California President Hillary “Bugsy” Clinton joined the chorus of fevered voices and added “we’ll tie President Trump to the Jimmy Hoffa or Judge Crater disappearances if we have to in order to further harm this country!”

Needless to say, within hours this irrational conspiracy theory was being taught as “established history” by the Left-Wing Archie Bunkers who serve as the Democrats’ Winston Smiths at colleges and universities across America.

Democrat Chuck Schumer has called for a Special Prosecutor and claimed that since he is ALSO named Chuck he is next on President Trump’s Hit List now that Berry and Barris are gone. Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

MORE MOCK TRUMP HEADLINES

hillary yellingDEMOCRATS DEMAND THE RESIGNATION OF ALL TRUMP ADMINISTRATION MEMBERS WHO HAVE EVER TASTED RUSSIAN DRESSING!  

CALIFORNIA PRESIDENT HILLARY CLINTON SAYS “I NEVER WOULD HAVE LET RUSSIA HAVE ALL THAT AMERICAN URANIUM IN EXCHANGE FOR BRIBES IF I HAD KNOWN PUTIN WAS SUCH A BIG MEANIE!”

RESISTANCE TO TRUMP UNVEILS THEIR STIRRING SLOGAN: “IF YOU DON’T TAKE US SERIOUSLY WE WILL TOTALLY FILE A COMPLAINT AGAINST YOU!”

JOHN MCCAIN INSISTS TRUMP IS HELPING PUTIN MAKE “BIG TROUBLE FOR MOOSE AND SQUIRREL!”

OBAMA CLAIMS HIS REPEATED GROVELING FOR PUTIN WAS PART OF A STING OPERATION

PAUL KRUGMAN: ANCIENT ALIENS TRIED TO WARN THE WORLD ABOUT TRUMP Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

BRACKET OF SHAME: BATTLE OF THE FACULTY LOUNGE FASCISTS

Bracket of shameCourtesy of the Alliance Defending Freedom comes this hilarious bracket depicting some of America’s WORST colleges and universities when it comes to Freedom of Expression.

The intolerant fools of the “academic world” (LMFAO) tend to be either Left-Wing Archie Bunkers from the 1960s Generation OR people who had the misfortune of being “educated” (LMFAO) by Left-Wing Archie Bunkers from the 1960s Generation. FOR MORE ON THAT, CLICK HERE   

Free Speech 2There was a time when Liberals actively supported freedom of expression because they understood it was THE primary freedom from which all other freedoms flowed. The early figures from my own country’s history protected speech with the FIRST Amendment to the Constitution because they knew all too well that ideas that are considered taboo and offensive today might be considered essential truths by future generations.

The forever-hypocritical 1960s generation of American Liberals were all about Free Speech when THEIR ideas were the ones offending people. Once they considered themselves to be comfortably in the cultural, educational and political driver’s seat by the early 1990s they decided they wanted their own already outdated worldview enshrined in stone and presented as THE one true set of values.

The totalitarian asses of the 1960s can’t bear the fact that younger people might have opinions that offend THEM as much as their opinions offended their parents’ generation.  Continue reading

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Filed under Education or Indoctrination, humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, opinion

HILLARY CLINTON INSISTS THE FALCONS REALLY WON THE SUPERBOWL

trump-and-tom-bradyHillary’s irrational and hate-filled devotees are so messed up inside they actually made a huge deal out of the fact that Patriots Quarterback Tom Brady, Patriots Coach Bill Belichek and Patriots owner Robert Kraft have long been friends of President Donald Trump.

You couldn’t miss all the ridiculous stories leading up to the Super Bowl last week, with our increasingly deranged media even huffing indignantly over the fact that Brady, Belichek and Kraft – gasp – refused to denounce their friend.

trump-and-brady-2Since Left-Wing Archie Bunkers have no identity outside of their political opinions they just could not understand people who ignore public pressure to conform to Political Correctness.

They are STILL complaining about how the Superbowl results paralleled Election Night when Trump shocked them by defeating Hillary Clinton, who had to settle for becoming President of California instead of President of the United States.

With the way Hillary’s following of losers obsess over irrelevant statistics a common joke now is that Hillary fans insist the Falcons REALLY won the Superbowl because they got more yards per play than the Patriots did. Hilarious! Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES

TEXAS TWENTY-SEVEN FILM VAULT: THIRTY-SECOND ANNIVERSARY

Happy Anniversary to The Texas Twenty-Seven Film Vault, one of the pre-MST3K Movie Host shows. Yes it was Saturday night February 9th, 1985 that this program debuted in Dallas, Texas, in the same studio that would later be used for Joe Bob’s Drive-In. Here is an encore presentation of my EXCLUSIVE 2011 interview with Randy Clower, one of The Texas Twenty-Seven Film Vault‘s co-creators and co-hosts. 

Clower (right) with co-host Richard Malmos as “Film Vault Technicians First Class” on The Texas 27 Film Vault

Before MST3K there was THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT! Before Joel and Mike lovers of bad movies had Randy and Richard! Before Pearl there was Laurie Savino! Before Devil Dogs, Observers and Deep 13 there came Cellumites, giant rats and Level 31.

In the mid 1980s The Texas 27 Film Vault was the show to watch on Saturday nights for wry mockery of Golden Turkeys preceded by episodes of vintage Republic Serials like Radar Men From The Moon and Canadian Mounties vs Atomic Invaders.    

The Texas 27 Film Vault is one of the great unsung Movie Host shows of the 1980s and I was thrilled to get this exclusive interview with Randy Clower, co-star and co-creator of this legendary cult show from the Dallas/ Fort Worth area. “The Film Vault Guys” as they were often called by us fans, or “Vaulties”,  established the pattern that a few other Movie Hosts have since followed. Continue reading

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Filed under Bad and weird movies, Forgotten Television, humor, Movie Hosts

ASSIGNMENT: TERROR (1969)

 I’ve been getting emails requesting that I review this movie, but I already did in 2010. For the folks requesting it, here it is again.

ASSIGNMENT: TERROR (1969) – If they gave a Nobel Prize for bad movie premises this baby would easily wind up wearing one of those big medallions around its neck! Spain’s King of Horror (and John Belushi look-alike) , Paul “Jacinto Molina” Naschy is in this film playing his recurring character, tormented lycanthrope Waldemar Daninsky.

The premise of this movie is that aliens plan to conquer the world by frightening humanity into submission by scaring us with monsters. Call me crazy, but I think Continue reading

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Filed under Bad and weird movies, Halloween Season, humor

TRUMP UPDATES

panic-signThe collective nervous breakdown by the American corporate media continues, so here are some more headlines reflecting this “new” style:

TRUMP HAS INCREASED THE NUMBER OF CHILDREN HE EATS ON A DAILY BASIS!

TRUMP DENIES THE ROLE HE PLAYED IN CRUCIFYING JESUS CHRIST!

CNN SAYS TRUMP IS MORE HITLERISHLY HITLERISH THAN ANY OTHER HITLERS WHO HITLERED IN HITLER-LIKE WAYS AT ANY OTHER TIME SINCE HITLER! AND BY THE WAY – HITLER! 

DEMOCRATS VOW TO MAKE 24/7 HYSTERIA THEIR STRATEGY FROM NOW ON!

CNN REPORTS THAT DISEASE WAS UNKNOWN IN THE WESTERN WORLD UNTIL TRUMP!

DEMOCRAT SCHOOL TEACHERS TELL THEIR TERRIFIED STUDENTS THAT DONALD TRUMP HATES EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM INDIVIDUALLY!

… AND TRUMP PROBABLY KILLED THEIR LAST PET THAT DIED, TOO!

MILLIONS REPORT THAT, OVERNIGHT, TRUMP BROKE INTO THEIR HOME, STOLE ALL THEIR FURNISHINGS AND REPLACED THEM WITH EXACT DUPLICATES! “Come over and see for yourself” outraged victims demand  Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES