Monthly Archives: June 2018

HELLRAISER: ORIGINS TRAILER

Hellbound HeartRegular readers of Balladeer’s Blog may recall how fond I am of Clive Barker’s novel The Hellbound Heart and the subsequent Hellraiser horror film franchise. Mike LeHan and Paul Gerrard directed and produced a 2013 spec trailer hoping to get a reboot of the series greenlit.

Unfortunately that did not happen, but their trailer shows a lot of work went into it. The depiction of Hell is in keeping with the spirit of the first two Hellraiser movies and the re-imagining of Pinhead is intriguing but not entirely appealing. Anyway, the spec trailer is worth a look if you’ve already read Barker’s The Scarlet Gospels and are starved for more Cenobite material. 

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GODS OF FIJI

Fiji IslandsIn the past Balladeer’s Blog has examined the gods and myths of Polynesian people in Hawaii, Samoa, Bellona and Rennell. This time around I’m taking a look at the neglected gods of the Melanesian people of Fiji.

NOTE: I am spelling the names of the deities phonetically to make it easier for readers to know how to pronounce them. I’m doing this to avoid the awkwardness of having to remember the odd rules regarding how to pronounce certain consonants.

For instance “Q” is pronounced “ng-g” so with the name of the shark god, spelled Dakuwanqa in that system, I will spell it Ndakuwang-ga so readers don’t have to remember how Q is supposed to be pronounced or that “D” is pronounced “nd”. After all, the Fijians certainly were not using our alphabet prior to contact with Europeans, so I think it’s inefficient to expect readers to remember odd pronunciation rules for letters that the Fijians never used to begin with.

KONOSAU – The god of stillborn infants. Originally born dead to the first Bau woman taken to Rewa, this entity became the patron deity of such offspring. His main temple is called Nai Bili. 

NAITONU – The god of nudity. I’m not joking. Naitonu hates the custom of wearing clothing and not only is he constantly naked but he expects nudity from everyone entering his territory – even if they are just passing through. Failure to comply will result in the offender being struck with leprosy. 

Fiji 2ALEWANISOSO – The patron goddess of travelers and hospitality. Regardless of their tribe, fellow Fijians who reach one of Alewanisoso’s temples can be assured of not being harmed during their stay – usually an overnight one. 

Hostility or rudeness of any kind is taboo in her temples and everyone entering is expected to conduct themselves as gently and courteously as they would when wooing a mate.

ROKOMAUTU – A son of the supreme deity Ndengei by his sister. This deity was born from his mother’s elbow as another example of birthing oddities in world mythology. Rokomautu was so headstrong he tried to force even his own parents to worship him. 

Rokomautu falls into the mythological category that Balladeer’s Blog’s readers will remember as a Divine Geographer. When Ndengei first created the world the land was featureless, so he sent his son Rokomautu to provide character. The god sculpted the Earth’s various geographic features.

The sandy beaches of Fiji were created by Rokomautu dragging his flowing robe over the terrain. When the god pulled up his robe while walking the land became rocky or filled with mangrove bushes. By some accounts anywhere that he spat a lake or river would form. 

Once during a drought in which many were dying, Rokomautu was passing through and used his hair-pin, or milamila, to puncture a hole in a rock from which drinking water then flowed. 

SOBO – The goddess of soft breezes on the Fijian island of Thikombia. Her husband Rasikilau, the patron deity of that island, killed their two sons once it became apparent that their strength might rival his some day if he allowed them to live. Continue reading

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THE INDEPENDENCE DAY SPEECH THAT NEVER WAS

Declaration of IndependenceFor the most part the silly conspiracy theories about the establishment of the United States are good only for laughs. One of my favorites, however, features a speech from a mysterious figure usually associated with Freemasons, Rosicrucians and/or the Bavarian Illuminati of Adam Weishaupt.

I don’t believe for one minute that such an enigmatic man showed up and tipped the balance toward ratifying the Declaration of Independence with a fiery, impassioned speech. However, I DO believe that the wording of that fictional tirade is pretty moving and nicely captures the feel of Independence Day.

Here is the relevant part. I’m omitting the ridiculous section where this mystery man supposedly made Nostradamus-style predictions about America’s future.

Independence Hall“They (the British) may stretch our necks on all the gibbets in the land. They may turn every rock into a scaffold, every tree into a gallows, every home into a grave and yet the words of that parchment can never die!”

“They may pour our blood on a thousand scaffolds and yet from every drop that dyes the axe a new champion of freedom will spring into birth. The British king may blot out the stars of God from the sky but he cannot blot out His words written on that parchment there. The works of God may perish … His words, never!”  

“The words of this Declaration will live in the world long after our bones are dust. To the mechanic in his workshop they will speak hope. To the slave in the mines, freedom. But to the coward kings these words will speak in tones of warning they cannot choose but hear.” Continue reading

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PRINCE: WHEN DOVES CRY

Balladeer’s Blog sends another shoutout to Prince, who inspired my Give Them A Shoutout Before They’re Dead segments. Been busy as hell lately but I should be back to normal blog-posting speed this weekend sometime.

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BALLADEER’S BLOG IS EIGHT YEARS OLD TODAY

masc graveyard newTHANK YOU once again to all of you readers for making Balladeer’s Blog so enjoyable to write. As I always say the weird and controversial items I churn out here mean that readers have to be very secure in their own beliefs not to just take offense and leave.

Here’s a look at Glitternight.com’s eight biggest hits since last June:

Nth ManMOST POPULAR ANCIENT SCI FI POST OF THE PAST TWELVE MONTHS – That honor goes to THE Nth MAN (1920-1924). Part proto-kaiju, part political allegory, it’s amazing it was never made into a movie. CLICK HERE

MOST POPULAR WILD WEST LEGEND POST FOR FRONTIERADO SEASON – The blog post that won this category was DUSTY DELIA: FEMALE STAGECOACH DRIVER. She was adept with guns, Native American lingo and more. CLICK HERE

MOST POPULAR BLOG POST ABOUT NEW SLOGANS FOR THE DEMOCRATS – The winner here was the second one, DEMOCRATS: MORE NEW SLOGANS. Lots of laughs. CLICK HERE

MOST POPULAR JULY FOURTH SEASONAL POST – That honor goes to THE TYRANNICIDE: COMMERCE RAIDER OF THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR. The high seas adventure was very well-received. CLICK HERE Continue reading

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EVEN SNOPES ADMITS THE OBAMA ADMINISTRATION PLACED ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT CHILDREN WITH HUMAN TRAFFICKERS

Obama caging childrenWhen even the hacks at Snopes can’t try to finesse words to make it look like Obama is innocent, you know the situation is bad. BARACK OBAMA’S ADMINISTRATION PLACED ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT CHILDREN WITH HUMAN TRAFFICKERS. Even Snopes had to admit that is the truth and that the usual Democrat and Republican game of kick-the-can followed AND STILL HASN’T BEEN FOLLOWED UP ON!

Once again we see that President Donald Trump is a de facto Third Party President and therefore gets attacked by the career criminals from both the Democrats and the Republicans.

Snopes does go on to beclown themselves in the same piece by pretending that the miniscule amount of media coverage to that scandal (one of many) during the Obama Administration was somehow equal to the frantic and outrightly dishonest media blitz against President Trump.

Trump is SerpicoI will mention once again that the American Media and our crooked career politicians are so much worse than President Trump that they always make him look like the heroic underdog. People know a rigged pile-on when they see one. Donald Trump impresses me more every day and the comparisons with Abraham Lincoln – who also had to deal with Republican traitors and corrupt Democrats – are beginning to ring true.

When you phonies who pretend to care about illegal immigrant children address this plus my previous items about Obama and George W Bush having the same thing going on, THEN you can ask me about current events. But we all know you were just using this situation for political theater. “The children” mean nothing to you except as props.

FOR PICTURES OF SUCH CHILDREN SUFFERING EVEN WORSE CONDITIONS UNDER OBAMA CLICK HERE

FOR THE SNOPES BIT CLICK  Continue reading

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Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

DEMOCRATS AND THE BUSH FAMILY TRY BLAMING PRESIDENT TRUMP FOR THE SAME ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT “SEPARATION” POLICIES IN EFFECT UNDER OBAMA AND GEORGE W BUSH

Martin Sheen in Dead ZoneDemocrats and the Bush Family love exploiting children to try making cheap political points.

The alleged “cages” at our border were in use under the two previous presidents, too, but since President Trump is our first de facto Third Party President he’s getting double-teamed once again by Democrats AND by the repulsive Bush Family and Republicans who still worship that criminal clan.

***

Obama hates childrenIF YOU WEREN’T SPEAKING OUT ABOUT THESE POLICIES UNDER OBAMA AND BUSH YOU’RE JUST BEING PHONY BY PRETENDING YOU CARE NOW THAT TRUMP IS THE PRESIDENT. (Hillary lost, fools, get over it!)

Martin Sheen’s character in The Dead Zone (above photo) was apparently the inspiration for the Democrats and the way they always hold up children to gutlessly protect themselves.

Stolen Lives QuiltDEMOCRATS NEVER CARE ABOUT THE FAMILIES SEPARATED BY THE DEATHS CAUSED BY ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS. THAT DOESN’T FURTHER THEIR POLITICAL AGENDA.

It’s long past time for Democrats to be asked two of their favorite questions: “WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN?” and “HAVE YOU NO DECENCY?”

THE PEOPLE OPPOSING PRESIDENT TRUMP – BE THEY DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN – ARE DAILY PROVING THEMSELVES FAR WORSE THAN HE HAS EVER BEEN.

*** AND BY THE WAY, THAT PHOTO THAT KEEPS MAKING THE ROUNDS ON PLACES LIKE FACEBOOK (“THE CONFIRMATION BIAS COMMUNITY”) WITH THE CRYING CHILD IN A CAGE WAS A POLITICAL STUNT AT A JUNE 10th DALLAS DEMONSTRATION SUPPORTING ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION. ***

*** It was NOT a picture of anything the Trump Administration is doing. Trump’s fascist, uninformed foes don’t seem capable of telling the truth about anything. *** 

 

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Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

F.B.I: FELONIOUS BARACK’S INQUISITORS ARE CORRUPT THUGS

FBI coupBarack Obama’s Banana Republic administration continues to be exposed for what it was and I am still loving every minute of it! When the weak, inept and crooked little man named Obama was still in office you may recall that OVER FORTY of the government’s roughly 73 Inspectors General publicly complained about the way that the corrupt thugs with which Barack staffed every department were biased and were refusing to cooperate with oversight investigations. 

Recently we’ve seen recommendations for criminal proceedings against Andrew McCabe at the FBI (disregarded by Jeff Sessions, the biggest mistake President Trump made when he was mistakenly thinking Republican trash might be worth trusting).

The most recent IG report, which we’ve all known was being watered down considering it came out months later than it was supposed to, couldn’t ignore all of the blatant bias at the FBI. The link to a fuller look is below but first some nauseating excerpts.

As you read the verbatim messages below try to picture how America’s hilariously hypocritical Democrats would be acting if the piece of garbage George W Bush had sic’ed FBI thugs on Obama’s campaign in 2008 and the supposedly “impartial investigators” were caught USING THEIR FBI DEVICES to relay sentiments like that about Barack and his supporters:

FBI cartoon“During the course of the review, the OIG discovered text messages and instant messages between some FBI employees on the investigative team, conducted using FBI mobile devices and computers, that expressed statements of hostility toward then candidate Donald Trump and statements of support for then candidate Clinton.” 

“We were deeply troubled by text messages exchanged …”

“August 8, 2016: In a text message on August 8, 2016, Page stated, “[Trump’s] not ever going to become president, right? Right?!” Strzok responded, “No. No he’s not. We’ll stop it.”

“Five agents, not just agents Strzok and attorney Page, expressed anti-Trump, pro-Clinton messages on official FBI devices.”

“In undertaking our analysis, our task was made significantly more difficult because of text and instant messages exchanged on FBI devices and systems by five FBI employees involved in the Midyear investigation. These messages reflected political opinions in support of former Secretary Clinton and against her then political opponent, Donald Trump.”

“Some of these text messages and instant messages mixed political commentary with discussions about the Midyear investigation, and raised concerns that political bias may have impacted investigative decisions.

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Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

FATHER’S DAY (2011)

Father's DayFATHER’S DAY (2011) – Brace yourself for a gory time in this enjoyably outrageous cult classic.

Ahab, the eye-patch sporting hero of the Astron 6 horror film Father’s Day is in my opinion the one true successor to Bruce Campbell’s Ash Williams. And considering how unfair the ending of this movie is for Ahab and his two sidekicks a case could even be made for them replacing Ash as the most royally screwed character in the history of gore-soaked horror comedies.     

It’s difficult to review this dark, grotesque gem without resorting to a series of catch phrases like “Goes where Dead Alive and similar movies failed to go” or “What Grindhouse hath wrought” or even “Twink and Walnut: They’re NOT Muppets!” Let me start with a more practical line: Do not watch this movie if you can not handle the most offensive violence, concepts, gore and deranged sexuality imaginable.  Continue reading

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Filed under Bad and weird movies, Halloween Season

AVENGERS: KREE-SKRULL WAR CHAPTER LINKS

Marvel Comics continues to rule current pop culture. This year’s look at the Kree-Skrull War (1971-1972) was as big a hit as last summer’s examination of the Celestial Madonna Saga (1973-1975). Here are links to all the chapters for reader convenience.

Avengers 89I. THE ONLY GOOD ALIEN IS A DEAD ALIEN – Ronan the Accuser overthrows the Supreme Intelligence to take control of the alien Kree Empire. Meanwhile, the Avengers help the Kree officer Captain Marvel and Rick Jones stop Annihilus from escaping the Negative Zone after Mar-Vell and Rick break out. CLICK HERE 

II. JUDGMENT DAY – Ronan the Accuser comes to Earth to personally oversee Sentry 459’s attempt to kill the Avengers as well as to launch Plan Atavus, a project that will set back Earth’s evolutionary clock by millions of years. CLICK HERE 

III. TAKE A GIANT STEP … BACKWARD – With the De-Evolution Zone spreading at an alarming rate the Avengers (The Wasp, Yellow Jacket, The Scarlet Witch, Goliath, Quicksilver, The Vision and Captain Marvel) battle Ronan and the Sentry. Meanwhile the Skrulls launch a pre-emptive assault on the Kree Empire. CLICK HERE   Continue reading

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