Monthly Archives: March 2018

NCCAA FINAL FOUR ACTION, NAIA ELITE EIGHT SET

NCCAA DIV TWO

Bob Jones University BruinsFIRST SEMIFINAL – In this game the 2 seeds – the BOB JONES UNIVERSITY BRUINS – fought it out with the 3rd seeded GRACE BIBLE COLLEGE TIGERS.

With just 3 minutes left in the 1st Half the Tigers held a 39-38 lead, but the Bruins managed a 9-0 run to go into Halftime on top by a score of 47-39. After the break the points continued to fly like shrapnel, with Bob Jones University triumphing over Grace Bible College 94-84 for their first trip to the title game. 

*** The Bruins’ Nate Ellenwood led his team with a TRIPLE DOUBLE of THIRTY-FOUR points, 12 assists and 11 rebounds. Continue reading

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PANTHER’S RAGE SEVEN: DEVIL-WOLVES FROM THE CHILLING MIST

Devil-Wolves of the Chilling MistFOR PART ONE CLICK HERE

JUNGLE ACTION Volume 2, Number 12 (November 1974)

VII. BLOOD STAINS ON VIRGIN SNOW (But I think the cover title Devil Wolves of/ from the Chilling Mist would have been more appropriate given this issue’s introduction of Wakanda’s Land of the Chilling Mist.)

Besides which, Blood Stains On Virgin Snow sounds like the title of a Mickey Spillane novel. (“Mike Hammer IS the Black Panther in Blood Stains on Virgin Snow!”)

Synopsis: It’s been several days since T’Challa/ The Black Panther led the successful military assault on N’Jadaka Village, the Capital City of Killmonger’s blood-soaked revolution against T’Challa’s rule. 

Killmonger’s supervillain lieutenants Lord Karnaj, Baron Macabre and the supervillainess Malice have joined Venomm in the Royal Palace’s high-security prison. The hundreds of other prisoners taken are being interrogated and investigated by W’Kabi’s staff (W’Kabi is the Black Panther’s Chief of Security).

The story proper for this time begins with a pair of Wakandan Quin-Jets landing on one of the Primitive Cliffs that encircle Wakanda and help isolate it from the outside world. The passengers from the two aircraft exit and we readers see T’Challa, his Royal Consort Monica Lynne, W’Kabi, Taku, plus Tayette and Kazibe, Killmonger’s comic relief lieutenants who are always easily overcome by the Black Panther.

Everyone but T’Challa is bundled up in heavy winter clothing. This mountain region is the threshold to Wakanda’s Hidden Lands, which are meteorological impossibilities in the real world but very real in the comic book world.

Map of WakandaFor the next few issues to make sense this portion of Marvel Comics’ 1970s map of Wakanda is required.

At the start of this chapter of Panther’s Rage, the Black Panther and the others are located where they are overlooking the Grand Canyonesque “Chasm of the Chilling Mist.”

To be more specific, they are right where the rickety wood and vine bridge spans the Chasm of the Chilling Mist. (By the way, as depicted on the map that bridge is in NO WAY to scale. People would have to be hundreds of yards tall to build and use a bridge that enormous!)

At any rate that wood and vine bridge spans the narrowest point of the Chasm, with Serpent Valley lying thousands of feet below. We’ll visit that valley in a few issues, and after that we’ll even visit the Forest of Thorns which is shown at bottom, serving as a natural barrier to normal, on-foot penetration into Serpent Valley.

For right now, the Black Panther will be crossing the rickety wood and vine bridge over the Chasm so that he can enter the Land of the Chilling Mist, beyond which lies the Realm of the White Gorillas.

We readers are told that Tayette and Kazibe have confessed to W’Kabi’s interrogators that that is where Killmonger had journeyed to with King Cadaver and the large percentage of his Revolutionary Army which was not at N’Jadaka Village when T’Challa struck.   

Blood Stains on Virgin SnowDespite the urging of Monica Lynne, W’Kabi and Taku, the Black Panther refuses to take any additional men with him in pursuit of Killmonger. His reasoning – more like an excuse – is that a large body of troops would slow him down and that Wakanda City and the villages still loyal to T’Challa will need as many soldiers on hand as possible if Killmonger eludes the Black Panther and launches a counter-offensive.

Monica is not fooled and realizes T’Challa wants to take on Erik Killmonger alone to avenge his defeat at Erik’s hands at Warrior Falls back in the opening chapter of Panther’s Rage. Killmonger has been making the Black Panther feel very outclassed by the way Erik easily beat him in physical combat AND out-generalled AND out-politicked T’Challa every step of the way in the war’s opening phases.

As it is there are still outlying villages that remain loyal to Killmonger despite the Black Panther’s recent victory at N’Jadaka. T’Challa will be accompanied only by the thoroughly cowed Tayette and Kazibe, who have promised to lead our hero to Resurrection Altar, in the heart of the Land of the Chilling Mist.

That altar is where Killmonger – in ways not comprehended by Tayette and Kazibe – transforms some of his followers into super-powered operatives like Malice, King Cadaver and others we will soon meet. (Malice’s origin was later ret-conned but not for decades.)

T’Challa has so little reason to be afraid of Tayette and Kazibe that he even condescendingly arms the former with a spear to calm his fears a little at the dangers that lie ahead. The Black Panther says his temporary goodbyes to Monica, Taku and W’Kabi, then he, Tayette and Kazibe cross the rickety wood and vine bridge. The area’s ubiquitous mist soon shuts them off from view, seemingly swallowing them up.  Continue reading

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NCCAA COLLEGE BASKETBALL TOURNAMENTS BEGIN, NAIA CONTINUES

NCCAA

Johnson (TN) RoyalsDAY ONE, GAME ONE – The 4 seeds – the JOHNSON UNIVERSITY OF TENNESSEE ROYALS – took the court against the 5th seeded MARANATHA BAPTIST UNIVERSITY SABERCATS.

The Royals had things well in hand by the break with a 51-31 advantage over the Sabercats. Coming out of the locker room Johnson University of Tennessee kept up the pace until garbage time, bouncing Maranatha Baptist University by a final score of 90-73.

Randall University Saints NEWDAY ONE, GAME TWO – Up next the top seeded Defending National Champions – the RANDALL UNIVERSITY SAINTS – clashed with the 8th seeded KENTUCKY CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY KNIGHTS.

Kentucky Christian University was really feeling it and had the Saints faithful worried at Halftime with their 39-36 edge over the top seeds. In the 2nd Half Randall University showed the Heart of a Champion and outscored the Knights 42-38 for a tight 78-77 win. Kashus Lyons scored 24 points for RU. Continue reading

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MOCK HEADLINES: MARCH 9th

Trump is the new FDRWelcome back to Balladeer’s Blog! Recently even Democrat Chris Matthews acknowledged that our de facto Third Party President Donald Trump is looking out for “Forgotten American workers.” Meanwhile, President Trump’s opponents keep looking out for illegal immigrants and for Corporate Fascists like Mark “Skippy” Zuckerberg.

At any rate it seemed like a good time for another round of Mock Headlines:

(By the way, I’m neither a liberal nor a conservative. Want proof? CLICK HERE )

HOLLYWOOD INSISTS LOWER RATINGS MEAN THE OSCARS/WEINSTEIN AWARDS WERE MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN EVER BEFORE! 

MAN EMERGES FROM DEEP COMA; REMEMBERS HE IS ATTORNEY GENERAL OF THE UNITED STATES

JERRY BROWN: “THE DEAD VICTIMS OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT CRIMES HAVE NOT ISSUED ONE WORD OF COMPLAINT ABOUT THE OAKLAND MAYOR HELPING MURDERERS AND RAPISTS ESCAPE ARREST BY WARNING THEM ABOUT I.C.E. RAIDS”

BLOATED RICH PIG CELEBRITIES CONTINUE TO MISTAKENLY THINK THEY SPEAK FOR THE WORKING CLASS AND THE POOR

mascot new look donkey and elephant headsMEDIA FINALLY ADMITS “PRESIDENTIAL APPROVAL RATINGS” ARE A MEANINGLESS FARCE AS INACCURATE AS HOROSCOPES

DEMOCRAT DICK DURBIN AT A LOSS TO EXPLAIN JENNIFER LAWRENCE’S RECENT HATE-FILLED DIATRIBE AGAINST HIM

ADMITTED RAPIST KOBE BRYANT WINS AN OSCAR/WEINSTEIN AWARD AMID #METOO PREENING CEREMONIES

PRESIDENT TRUMP STILL HATED BY EVERY ENEMY OF THE WORKING CLASS AND THE POOR

REASONABLE PEOPLE AGREE: WATCHING ANY AWARDS SHOW IS EVEN WORSE THAN GOING TO CHURCH

AWARDS SHOWS TO BE RE-LABELED “SHOW TRIALS IN WHICH THE VIEWERS ARE ASSUMED GUILTY OF EVERYTHING THE HOSTS HAVE DONE AND ARE TO BE LECTURED BY RICH PIG DEMOCRATS” 

Continue reading

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ACCA COLLEGE BASKETBALL CHAMPS CROWNED, NAIA NATIONAL TOURNAMENT BEGINS

ACCA

Arlington Baptist PatriotsCHAMPIONSHIP GAME – The ARLINGTON BAPTIST UNIVERSITY PATRIOTS and the KANSAS CHRISTIAN COLLEGE FALCONS were the last two teams left in the battle for the national title of the ACCA.

The Patriots showed their advantage in postseason experience, notching a 43-35 lead by Halftime. From there the Falcons fought hard to make a comeback and Arlington Baptist University had to hold on tight to survive with an 87-84 victory. Quinton Moore led the Patriots with 27 points. * THE PATRIOTS ARE ACCA NATIONAL CHAMPIONS *

NAIA DIVISION TWO

Southwestern College Moundbuilders logoDAY ONE, GAME ONE – The 4 seed versus 5 seed game in this National Tournament pitted the (4) SOUTHWESTERN COLLEGE MOUNDBUILDERS against the (5) ROOSEVELT UNIVERSITY LAKERS.

The Moundbuilders had their Defense clicking and prevented the Lakers from reaching 30 points in either Half. Southwestern College led 31-27 by the midpoint of the game and after the break outscored Roosevelt University 34-28 for a 65-55 triumph. Fourteen points from Cameron Hunt led the Moundbuilders. Continue reading

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THE JET BENNY SHOW (1986): MOVIE REVIEW

Jet Benny ShowTHE JET BENNY SHOW (1986) – Buy this for the Star Wars fan in your life … but only if you strongly dislike the Star Wars fan in your life. Buy this for the Jack Benny fan in your life … but only if they’re too old and feeble to be capable of inflicting grievous bodily harm on you.

I was glad to finally see this video curiosity after having heard tantalizingly little about it over the years. It was not remotely worth the wait but it was good to see it and check it off my list, bird-watcher style, like I did with Ganjasaurus Rex years ago.

Yes, I know this overlong, under-entertaining Star Wars/ Jack Benny Show parody won a Kasdan Award in the 1980s but I think that winning that award says less about this project than does the fact that the people involved went on to do virtually nothing else afterward.

Jet Benny Show backRoger Evans directed The Jet Benny Show from a script by Mark Felch. Steve Norman stars as Jet Benny, a take-off on the real-life comedy legend Jack Benny. Norman does not do nearly as good a Jack Benny impression as we’re led to believe by the few positive remarks this pant-load of a film receives.

Steve’s rendition of Benny’s voice is reasonable but wouldn’t stand on its own without the aid of his more than reasonable facial resemblance to the late comedian. The mediocre nature of Norman’s imitation might not have stood out so much if he wasn’t expected to carry almost every moment of the 77 minute run time. Continue reading

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PANTHER’S RAGE SIX: ONCE YOU SLAY THE DRAGON …

Once You Slay The Dragon ...FOR PART ONE CLICK HERE 

JUNGLE ACTION Volume 2, Number 11 (September 1974)

VI. ONCE YOU SLAY THE DRAGON …

Synopsis: T’Challa, W’Kabi and Taku lead Wakandan forces through the jungle for a sneak attack on Killmonger’s concealed village called N’Jadaka. Expository dialogue informs us that it has been weeks since the Black Panther discovered that Baron Macabre and King Cadaver were in charge of Killmonger’s raids on Wakanda City’s advanced weapons and technology.

Wakanda's locationThe pair of villains escaped while T’Challa was confirming the extent of their operation’s penetration, but since then the Panther has shut down the network and rounded up any conspirators who were helping Killmonger.

In addition, since then he has solved Zatama’s murder: Continue reading

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ACCA SEMIFINALS AND MORE COLLEGE BASKETBALL ACTION

ACCA

Arlington Baptist PatriotsFIRST SEMIFINAL – The ARLINGTON BAPTIST UNIVERSITY PATRIOTS faced the UNIVERSITY OF LOS ANGELES COLLEGE OF DIVINITY CUBS.

A tight opening Half ended with the Patriots on top of the Cubs by a score of 37-33. After the break Arlington Baptist University was able to put a little bit more distance between themselves and ULA-College of Divinity, winning the game 77-69. Quinton Moore notched 19 points to lead the Patriots. Continue reading

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NON-DILLINGER: THE TRI-STATE TERROR

FOR PART ONE CLICK HERE 

Tri-State TerrorTHE TRI-STATE TERROR

Real Name: Wilbur Underhill, Jr

Birth – Death: March 16th, 1901 – January 6th, 1934

Lore: Underhill is so overlooked today there are times when it seems like there IS no lore about him. That is good, actually, since rabid criminals like this don’t deserve the romanticized treatment they usually get.

Criminal Career: In 1918 Underhill was convicted of burgling the home of his family’s next-door neighbor in Joplin, MO and was sent to prison. He was released in 1922 and began robbing necking couples who were parked in cars, making him one of many “Lover’s Lane Bandits” across the country.  

Underhill, still just a One State Terror at this point, was convicted of armed robbery after police decoys caught him one night in 1923 pulling off a Lover’s Lane holdup. Wilbur was sentenced to five years but was released on parole in 1926. He celebrated Christmas of 1926 by robbing an Oklahoma drug store with “Skeet” Akins and killing a 19 year old customer in the process. Continue reading

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JIMMY KIMMEL: THE BALLADEER’S BLOG INTERVIEW

Jimmy Kimmell fat pigJimmy Kimmel, known as “that guy from The Man Show” and as “the wimp people love to hate” has been begging me to interview him for years now. I kept putting him off, given his reputation for grotesque body odor.

Finally I decided I could end the annoyance once and for all with a wager. I bet Kimmel that he couldn’t POSSIBLY get even lower ratings for the Harvey Weinstein Awards than the pathetic dweeb who hosted them last year. If he did, I would interview him. If not, I never had to interview him. Jimmy jumped at the bet.

Turns out he was the repugnant douchebag who hosted them last year! Needless to say, since garbage like Kimmel reeks more and more the longer it sits and festers he got much, much MUCH lower ratings than the previous year.

Anyway, I don’t welch on bets (which I understand is what Jimmy Kimmel’s mother said to the three-time animal-rapist who knocked her up with Jimmy in the first place) so I agreed to finally interview Kimmel to swat him away once and for all. So, let’s deal with this hack who cries himself to sleep every night over the fact that he’ll never be as daring, funny and iconoclastic as Steven Crowder. 

BY THE WAY, THE REPULSIVE JIMMY KIMMEL STILL REFUSES TO DONATE MORE MONEY TO CHARITY. WHAT A GREEDY SCUMBAG.

Balladeer’s Blog: So, Jimmy, looks like you did the seeming impossible and got even LOWER ratings than last year for your performance at this year’s presentation of Rapists and Child Molestors Against Trump.

Jimmy Kimmel: Yeah. I hate that Trump guy. He got all those beautiful women all his life and the only woman-ish thing I’ve ever managed to score with is that horse-faced Sarah Silverman. Every day and night I think about that and that’s what fuels my monomaniacal hatred of the Donald.  

BB: It’s possible if you showered every now and then or didn’t look so creepy all the time with that half-assed attempt at a beard you might be able to attract an acceptable looking woman.

JK: Personal hygiene is for the in-bred morons who voted for Trump. They’re all so stupid it’s like, what a bunch of stupid-headed stupid heads. I used to BEG Trump to fix me up with women but he always refused.

BB: Do you think your bizarre fixation on President Trump is healthy?

JK: Hell, yeah! In the entertainment industry today even somebody as untalented and unappealing as I am can make okay bucks as long as I bash Trump. It’s like, NONE of the celebrities that I pay to talk to me can believe that American scumbags voted for this guy. Continue reading

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