Monthly Archives: July 2017

SILVERADO (1985)

Top Frontierado Movie

Top Frontierado Movie

Frontierado is coming up Friday, August 4th!

SILVERADO (1985) – I’ve never made any secret about how Silverado is, to me, THE official movie of the Frontierado holiday. The film has all the high spirits and family appeal of Star Wars plus the well-choreographed action scenes of Raiders of the Lost Ark. On top of that Silverado features all the  highly stylized gunplay of the best Spaghetti Westerns but NOT the mud, blood, sweat and brutality of that genre.

This movie is pure escapism and features the kind of preternaturally accurate gunslingers that I jokingly  describe as “Jedi Knights in the Olllld West”. These guys (as well as most of the villains) can literally shoot the needles off a cactus, simultaneously draw and shoot with pin-point accuracy and can just “sense” when some low-down hombre might be pulling a gun on them, even with Continue reading

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Filed under FRONTIERADO, opinion

MUSLIM ATROCITY ROUNDUP: JULY 10th

Islamophobia posterIt is ALWAYS Muslims and ONLY Muslims who commit large numbers of terrorist attacks in every country they spread to. Countries around the world NEVER have this problem with Hindu immigrants or Buddhist immigrants, etc. Democrats embrace and support ONLY the most violent Muslims.  

Here at Balladeer’s Blog I have covered many, many Muslims and Muslim groups who WANT to live in the 21st Century and who DO NOT want to impose their belief system on others. Such Muslims get scorned by the Democrats and the political left around the world.

Democrats often won’t even let such Muslims speak on our college campuses here in the U.S. The Democrats encourage the notion that ONLY Muslims who hate the Western World and who want to live in the 7th Century are “authentic” voices. They dismiss freedom-minded Muslims as “Western Triumphalists” who have “internalized Western Oppression.”

islam-and-violenceMeanwhile Democrats, Labour and similar political parties give license to the most violent Muslim fascists to commit whatever outrages they like with the full knowledge that they (Democrats, Labour, etc) will lend legitimacy to those outrages.     

Here are just a few of the recent atrocities committed by the most homophobic, misogynistic and otherwise intolerant religion in the world at this particular time:

June 23rd: Tal Adda, Pakistan: Once the flood of Muslim immigrants reaches sufficient numbers the host country also sees more and more violent attacks of Muslims on Muslims who don’t happen to worship the exact same way their attackers do. Muslim country Pakistan yet again saw such an attack as Lashkar-e-Jhangvi, one of the affiliates in the Global Muslim Fascist Murder Machine, used bombs to kill SEVENTY-TWO innocent people and injure TWO HUNDRED SIXTY-ONE more.

Yeah, who needs to vet Muslim immigrants to see which murderous faction they might be affiliated with?

June 28th: Marawi, Philippines – Muslim fascists killed SEVENTEEN innocent people for not being Muslims. COEXISTENCE! Continue reading

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Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

TUMBLEWEED PIZZA RECIPE FOR FRONTIERADO

Tumbleweed_sizedFRONTIERADO, the internationally celebrated holiday that falls on the first Friday in August is fast approaching.

As an early Frontierado gift to my readers here is my personal recipe for Tumbleweed Pizza, the perfect snack to go with Silverado and whatever second Western you watch on the day of Frontierado itself, which this year falls on Friday, August 4th.

Start with a few extra-large tortilla shells or round pita shells. Spread tomato paste and/or sauce around them, leaving as much crust room as you prefer. Spread shredded pepperjack cheese all over each shell until you completely cover the  tomato paste/sauce.

Add small slices of Nopolito Cactus (it will Continue reading

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MANTIS 18: THE SCARLET WITCH FINDS A FATHER

FOR PART 1 OF BALLADEER’S BLOG’S EXAMINATION OF MARVEL’S SUPERHEROINE MANTIS CLICK HERE 

Giant Size Avengers 1GIANT-SIZE AVENGERS Volume 1, Number 1 (August 1974)  Nuklo: The Invader That Time Forgot

At this point in the 1970s sales at Marvel Comics were going so well that they introduced the short-lived Giant-Size versions of some of their titles, like Giant-Size Fantastic Four, Giant-Size Spider-Man, Giant-Size Defenders, etc. These were published every 3 months and featured original stories plus reprints.

The most famous of those editions was 1975’s Giant-Size X-Men Number 1 which introduced the new X-Men lineup of Cyclops, Wolverine, Storm, Banshee, Colossus, Nightcrawler, Thunderbird and Sunfire.

In my quick research for this escapist Superhero Summer series I noticed that the 1970s creative team at The Avengers did the best job of incorporating the Giant-Size quarterlies into their ongoing storyline. The greatest examples of that lie in the near future. 

For this tale, the Scarlet Witch encounters the father she never knew, just like Mantis with Libra and Moon Dragon with Drax the Destroyer. Coincidence? Stimuli in a bizarre nature vs nurture affair? Psychological tumblers tripped in sequence to unlock a certain something in one of those three women? The mystery WILL be resolved, in the days ahead.

NUKLO, THE INVADER THAT TIME FORGOT

mantis on nukloSynopsis: The story opens in Avengers Mansion as the Avengers discover an unconscious Jarvis (their butler) and a trench-coated intruder standing over him. The intruder broke into the mansion past the security systems and tells the Avengers now surrounding him that he is there to claim the chrono-module.

That chrono-module is a mysterious pod-like machine that was unearthed about a week earlier during construction work in New York City. The Avengers were called in to assess the device and moved it into the laboratory at Avengers Mansion for further study.     Continue reading

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BRIAN TYLER AND THE RED ELVISES: ON MY WAY TO VEGAS

Six String SamuraiBalladeer’s Blog’s latest installment of “Give them a shoutout before they’re dead” features Brian Tyler and the Red Elvises’ work on the soundtrack to the monumentally overlooked film Six String Samurai (1998).  

FOR MY REVIEW OF THE MOVIE CLICK  HERE

In the meantime, here’s On My Way To Vegas, the song that plays over the closing credits to this post-apocalypse rock and roll samurai movie. The video is a fan tribute featuring scenes from the film as the song plays.

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THE ABYSMAL INVADERS (1929): VINTAGE SCIENCE FICTION

Edmond HamiltonTHE ABYSMAL INVADERS (1929) – Written by Edmond Hamilton. This is a nice mish-mash of elements that are part Creature Feature, part Doctor Who and part Jurassic Park. Hamilton gets bashed as a hack but his stories are harmless fun.

The hero of this tale is Professor Morton, an eminent biologist. He is doing field work in a Southern Illinois swamp when, from caverns beneath the swamp an army of dinosaurs comes pouring out. AND ALL OF THEM ARE BEING RIDDEN BY HUMANOID LIZARDS WHO WIELD RAY-GUNS!

Pteradactyls provide these invaders with their own Air Force and humans are driven before them. The city of Brinton is reduced to a virtual ruin before the onslaught of these Lizard-men. Continue reading

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BILLY THE KID VS DRACULA AND FRONTIER MARSHAL

Frontierado is coming up on Friday, August 4th! Here’s a brief look at two films presented on The Texas 27 Film Vault that match the old west theme of this holiday season: Frontier Marshal and Billy the Kid vs Dracula.

A movie guaranteed to contain absolutely NO accurate information.

A movie guaranteed to contain absolutely NO accurate information.

FRONTIER MARSHAL (1939)

Original Broadcast Date: Saturday October 25th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.

Serial: An episode of Mysterious Doctor Satan was shown before the movie. This 1940 serial presented the title villain trying to take over the world with a big, goofy robot while being opposed by a masked superhero called Copperhead.  

THE MOVIE: Frontier Marshal, directed by Allan Dwan, has a well-deserved reputation as the worst and weirdest cinematic depiction of the events leading up to the Gunfight at the OK Corral. Randolph Scott turns inhis usual bland performance as Wyatt Earp with Cesar Romero a very unlikely Doc.

As usual Doc steals the show from the hopelessly dull and straight-arrow Wyatt. Ward Bond shows up as a cowardly lawman, Lon Chaney, Jr, plays one of Curly Bill Brocius’ thugs and Balladeer’s Blog’s old friend John Carradine is the movie’s main villain … Carter. No, not Clanton or even McLaurey but “Carter”.

Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 hosting The Texas 27 Film Vault

Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 hosting The Texas 27 Film Vault

Here’s just some of the hilariously distorted bits from this Parallel Universe version of the events in Tombstsone, Arizona:

Doc Holliday’s name is Halliday for some reason and is pronounced “Hale-i-day”. Characters say “Hale-i-day” so many times that if you made it a drinking game you’d be dead of alcohol poisoning about half-way through.  

Doc Holliday, excuse me – Hale-i-day – drank only milk in the west until the woman he loved back in Georgia (his cousin in real life) showed up in Tombstone. Then he started drinking whiskey to escape the pain of seeing her again. Continue reading

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Filed under Bad and weird movies, Movie Hosts

PRESIDENT TRUMP STILL SUPPORTING THE VICTIMS OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT CRIME

Trump and victims familiesUnited States President Donald Trump – our de facto Third Party President – continues to fix so many of the problems caused by the disastrous Barack Obama. This pic features him with the loved ones of victims of illegal immigrant crime.

Obama or Hillary would have instead posed with the rapists and murderers who are in the U.S. illegally.

Trump-o-crats and Re-Trump-licans are enjoying the way this “Richard Channing from Falcon Crest” President constantly trolls our insane media and sticks it to the corrupt Democrats and Republicans.

Mascot with demo and repub heads

Trump-haters continue to froth at the mouth and ineffectually gnaw at the President’s ankles. They also try selling us on their biased “polls.” Uh, yeah. The same polls that claimed Hillary was going to become President. (LMFAO)

Pieces of garbage like Republican Paul Ryan and Democrat Nancy Pelosi fall all over themselves opposing President Trump, who is doing more for the working class and the poor in this country than any president since possibly Franklin Delano Roosevelt.   

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Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

HATE GROUPS IN AMERICA

Here at Balladeer’s Blog I criticize both American Liberals and American Conservatives, both Democrats and Republicans. For overseas readers here’s a handy guide to American Hate Groups.

Obama madman

BLM – “Klansmen of Color” aka “Kop Killers Klub.” This pack of Democrats HATES the thought that ALL LIVES MATTER and  pretends that police are automatically the enemy.

This bizarre group has actually petitioned various areas to do away with police. Uh, yeah. Next time you need the police call BLM instead. They won’t be any help but I’m sure they WILL direct you to a site where you can make a donation to them. 

La RazaLA RAZA – “Racists Without Borders” aka “The Master Race” aka “THE Race.”

This pack of Democrats (notice a trend here) are “Conquistador-Americans” whose Spanish ancestors slaughtered the indigenous inhabitants of much of North and South America. 

Members of La Raza now feel that they are entitled to a “Reconquista” of areas where their blood-soaked forebears butchered their victims. They’re big supporters of illegal immigration, too. Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, opinion

MANTIS 17: KLAW AND SOLARR TEAM UP

FOR PART 1 OF BALLADEER’S BLOG’S EXAMINATION OF MARVEL’S SUPERHEROINE MANTIS CLICK HERE 

Avengers 126AVENGERS Volume 1, Number 126 (August 1974)  All the Sights and Sounds of Death

AVENGERS ROSTER: Thor (Donald Blake, MD), Iron Man (Tony Stark), Captain America (Steve Rogers), The Scarlet Witch (Wanda), The Black Panther (Prince T’Challa), The Vision (not applicable), The Swordsman (Jacques Duquesne) and MANTIS (Mantis Brandt).

ALL THE SIGHTS AND SOUNDS OF DEATH

Synopsis: The exact amount of time between the last installment’s conclusion of the Thanos War and the beginning of this installment is another of those things that obsessive fans debate as they try to establish a timeline of Avengers stories. 

In any event this issue starts out at Avengers Mansion in New York City. Inside, Mantis is watching her romantic partner the Swordsman battle some robots in the Avengers’ Training Room. The Swordsman is trying to show off for her because he is still smarting with insecurity over the way Mantis and the Vision seem to be growing more and more attracted to each other. 

The various energy blasts from the Swordsman’s high-tech sword finish off the two remaining robots he’s fighting but Mantis still seems distracted. As they kiss it is obvious her thoughts are already turning toward the Vision.

The Vision himself is pondering his growing fears that his android brain may be malfunctioning. His panic attacks in Dormammu’s quicksand and Taurus’ pool combined with Ant-Man’s mysterious discovery in the Vision’s brain during the Kree-Skrull War all continue to hang in the air.     

Mantis miniMeanwhile, the Vision’s romantic partner the Scarlet Witch, is still torn with her own fears that the Vision may leave her for Mantis. (Two women fighting over him? The Vision really IS fully functional.) Wanda ponders her recent arguments with the Vision and how he always makes the arguments out to be HER fault. Continue reading

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