Monthly Archives: October 2016

HALLOWEEN COVERS OF THE SPIRIT

spirit-cover-lorelei-house-and-frameIn recent years Halloween has become just as much about superhero cosplay as about horror, so here’s a masked crime-fighter who combines elements of both. Will Eisner’s superhero the Spirit – who debuted in 1940 – rose from the grave of his secret identity Denny Colt. 

The Spirit’s secret HQ lay underneath Wildwood Cemetery and his Rogue’s Gallery of foes included gangsters and supervillains as well as supernatural and sci-fi menaces. 

spirit-cover-monster-looking-in-windowThe art and narrative innovations that Eisner introduced in his Spirit stories cannot be overstated.

After the original 1940-1952 run of the character the Spirit has been kept alive over the decades in various reprint series and new adaptations.

There was even a made for tv movie about the Spirit in 1987 with Sam “Flash Gordon” Jones as Denny Colt/ The Spirit. I reviewed that item HERE . The 2008 theatrical film version directed by Frank Miller is better known.    Continue reading

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LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES ARE ALL FOOLISH

liberals and conservativesLike other adults here in the U.S. my own views are a mix of “liberal” and “conservative” attitudes. That’s why the rest of us find Liberals and Conservatives (with capitalized L’s and C’s) to be so outdated and laughably partisan. Here’s a list of some of the reasons we despise American Liberals and American Conservatives equally: 

Liberals think they’re fit to lecture the rest of us about “diversity”. / Conservatives think they’re fit to lecture the rest of us about “family values”. 

Liberals are pretentious fools who actually think they’re the country’s official “intellectuals”.  / Conservatives are nationalist fools who actually think they’re the country’s official “patriots”. 

Liberals mindlessly take sides against their own country no matter what the circumstances. / Conservatives mindlessly side with their own country no matter what the circumstances.

Liberals actually believe bloated hatemongers like Michael Moore and Al Sharpton. / Conservatives actually believe bloated hatemongers like Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh. 

Liberals pompously think they’re fit to decide who is “racist.” / Conservatives pompously think they’re fit to decide who is “unpatriotic.”

Liberals want to teach only the negative aspects of American  history while ignoring the positive aspects. / Conservatives want to teach only the positive aspects of American history while ignoring the negative aspects. Continue reading

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AMERICAN HORROR LEGENDS: SIX MORE

Halloween month continues with six more neglected American horror legends. 

Dead Dance by MoonlightTHE DEAD DANCE BY MOONLIGHT – Manetti the mad violinist terrorized the New England states in the late 1700s. His favorite instrument was made out of enchanted wood from the forests of the infamous White Mountains. When Manetti chose to he could play his violin in such a way as to bring the dead up from their graves and make them do his bidding. FOR THE FULL STORY CLICK HERE   

Marquette MonsterTHE MARQUETTE MONSTER – This horrific monster was sighted by Jacques Marquette in the 1670s near what is now Alton, IL. Native Americans of the region called it the Piasa Bird and had been making artwork depicting the beast since around 1200 AD according to archaeological findings. The creature was supposedly the size of a horse with the torso of a cougar, huge wings like a bat and a human head sprouting deer antlers. FOR THE FULL STORY CLICK HERE    Continue reading

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COLLEGE FOOTBALL RESULTS FROM OCTOBER 8th

*** HEADLINES ***

Morningside MustangsNUMBER THREE GETS TAKEN DOWN – The 6th seeded MORNINGSIDE COLLEGE MUSTANGS welcomed the Number 3 team in the nation – the DOANE COLLEGE TIGERS. The Mustangs are still boiling from their undeserved drop in the rankings a few weeks ago and took their anger out on the Tigers in a SIXTY-NINE to SEVEN blowout.

Harding Bisons helmetNUMBER EIGHT FALLS AT HOME – The Number 18 HARDING UNIVERSITY BISON traveled to take on the 8th ranked HENDERSON STATE REDDIES yesterday. To the shock of the entire country the Bison proceeded to dismember the Reddies on their own field, manhandling them to the tune of 35-3. Continue reading

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DR CALIGARI (1989): ERASERHEAD MEETS LIQUID SKY

doctor-caligari

doctor-caligari-2DR CALIGARI (1989) – “The Cabaret of Dr Caligari” might make a more fitting title for Stephen Sayadian’s genre-bending Dr Caligari. Long before Dandy Dust there was this fun movie which was sort of a hybrid of Eraserhead and The Rocky Horror Picture Show with sprinklings of Liquid Sky and Repo Man. Nightmarish visuals and deranged sexuality abound. 

Many IMDb reviewers trash this movie but their reviews read like they were penned by someone who has never seen an Alfred Hitchcock film knocking Mel Brooks’ High Anxiety as “not funny.” Just like with the Brooks movie if you’re not familiar with the cinematic styles and productions referenced in Dr Caligari then no, you won’t find it entertaining.

doctor-caligari-3This movie, which is full of absurdly horrific imagery and horrifically absurd imagery is simultaneously a celebration of AND a parody of art films and silent movies – especially of the German Expressionist variety. The Cabinet of Dr Caligari kicked off that cinematic style in 1919 and we’re told that the title character of this 1989 product is the great granddaughter of THAT Dr Caligari.  

Our thoroughly modern Dr Caligari is played by Madeleine Reynal, who camps it up as if she’s part robot, part dominatrix, and part corpse. The good doctor runs the Caligari Insane Asylum, or CIA (remember MK-Ultra?) She’s secretly using some of the asylum’s more hopeless patients as human guinea pigs for her horrifying experiments. Continue reading

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COURAGEOUS FEMALE CHESS CHAMP REFUSES TO WEAR A HIJAB

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Nazi Paikidze-Barnes, U.S. Women’s Chess Champion

And we have ANOTHER member for Balladeer’s Blog’s real-life League of Extraordinary Women: Nazi (“Nah-zee”) Paikidze-Barnes, the United States’ Women’s Chess Champion. Paikidze-Barnes has already stated she will NOT participate in February’s World Championship matches because they are being held in Tehran and – per Muslim law – the female participants will be required to wear hijabs no matter what country they are from.

Nazi Paikidze-Barnes courageously refuses to submit to such demeaning and degrading treatment. Former Pan-American Women’s Chess Champion Carla Heredia has called on all 64 participants in next February’s matches to protest the hijab “commandment” as well.

nazi-paikidze-barnesThe heroic stands by these two extraordinary women have been largely ignored by America’s gutless Political Correctness fascists who crawl for Islam . Those enablers cravenly try to pretend that all Muslim women LOVE wearing degrading body-bags. If Nazi and Carla were calling for the 64 chess players to surrender their dignity and WEAR the hijabs you can bet they’d have been canonized on The View multiple times by now.

This situation raises intriguing questions like: Will Godwin’s Law pussies insist that Nazi forfeit all of her victories because of the way her first name is spelled? (I’m kidding!)

And even more importantly: Continue reading

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THE MACHINE TO KILL (1924): HALLOWEEN READING

machine to killGaston Leroux – the author of The Phantom of the Opera –  wrote The Machine to Kill in NINETEEN TWENTY-FOUR. Many book sites list it as 1935, but that was just the year it was finally translated into English. It has also been published in English under the titles The Bloody Puppet and The Gory Puppet.

Personally I would use the title The Clockwork Dead Man or The Clockwork Killer because for modern readers The Machine to Kill sounds like a traditional science fiction tale and both variations of the “Puppet” title make it sound like it’s about a killer puppet.

In reality this neglected Gaston Leroux novel is a horror/sci fi hybrid about an android/ cyborg mix whose mechanized body has been outfitted with the brain, eyes and nervous system of a guillotined murderer. The robotic man – called Gabriel – was created by Dr Jacques Cotentin, who needed an absolutely fresh brain, hence having to settle for a just-executed criminal.

And not just any criminal, but Benedict Masson, a monstrous-looking recluse put to death for a series of gory dismemberment killings whose quasi-sexual nature probably shocked readers in 1924. The foolish Dr Cotentin believed the brain and nervous system would simply serve as an operating system for Gabriel, animating his body but with no consciousness of its previous life. Continue reading

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SAVE DILBERT’S CREATOR FROM A WITCH HUNT

dilbertMy disgust with American Liberals and Conservatives is no secret by this point. Like so many of us I used to identify as a Liberal until they became as intolerant of free speech and opposing viewpoints as the worst Christian Conservatives had ever been.

The American Left has also proven to be hypocritical about blacklisting and political witch hunts, since they are more than happy to destroy lives in their obsessive targeting of anyone who disagrees with them.

NOW EVEN THE CREATOR OF DILBERT IS UNDER ATTACK: CLICK HERE   Continue reading

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HALLOWEEN FILMS: ELEVEN MEXICAN MOVIE MONSTERS

brainiacWelcome back to Balladeer’s Blog’s month-long celebration of Halloween! 

Mexican horror films of the 1950s and 1960s deserve to be as well known as the Hollywood horror films from the 30s and 40s. Just as Universal Studios churned out a series of memorable movies featuring the likes of Dracula, Frankenstein, the Wolfman and the Mummy, studios from south of the border went on to give the world equally outstanding creatures.

These horror films boasted Universal- style production values and beautiful black & white cinematography combined with uniquely Mexican twists on horror themes as well as more sensuality and lurid violence than Hollywood had dared to present. This list aims to introduce Mexi- Monsters to younger viewers who may not be familiar with them. I’m omitting generic monsters like the various vampires from Mexican horror films (including Fabian Forte, Cristina Ferrare and a descendant of Nostradamus) and the werewolf wrapped in mummy bandages from Face of the Screaming Werewolf.  

7. THE BRAINIAC (1962) – Mexican title El Baron Del Terror. Many may be outraged at Continue reading

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DISCUSSIONS ON MUSLIM VIOLENCE

Mascot with demo and repub heads

The symbol of the nonexistent Balladeer Political Party

It’s no secret that American Liberalism has alienated countless former allies with its insane fondness for ONLY the most backward, misogynistic and homophobic elements of Islam. Not only do Liberals pompously dismiss Muslims who embrace the West and the 21st Century as “Western Triumphalists” who have “internalized Western oppression” but Liberals have also become THE biggest obstacle to adult discussions about Muslim violence.  

ALL attempts to discuss Muslim violence get stagnated at the simple-minded pee-pee ca-ca level because American Liberals always think they’re being deep by pointing out the obvious – that not all Muslims go around killing people. Well, not all gun owners go around killing people, either, but you’ll never hear Liberals saying that means we should NEVER discuss mass shootings. But hey, it’s not news that American Liberals are spineless hypocrites.

Even though it’s a given that not all Muslims are terrorists the shallow, preening jackasses of the American Left STILL act like they are bringing some heavy-duty thinking to the argument by reciting that same tired refrain over and over again. That’s because American Liberals care only about their own egos and their pretensions. In their adolescent drama-queen minds they think they’re fighting battles of the past. Battles whose outcomes are already known.

liberals crying racismIn the deluded minds of American Liberals they are taking on mobs of ignorant people who just don’t understand that not all Muslims use violence. Ironically, the only Muslims who benefit from this refusal to openly discuss Muslim fascism are the violent, reactionary types who perpetuate misogny, homophobia and all of Islam’s other examples of intolerance and savage superstition. (Killing people for drawing pictures? Really?)   Continue reading

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