Regular readers of Balladeer’s Blog are very familiar with my Bad Movie page. Laughing at bad and weird movies is one of the great joys of life so I often post holiday-themed looks at cinematic turkeys around Halloween and Thanksgiving.
The Yuletide season has its fair share of turkeys as well, so enjoy this examination of more Christmas season bombs than even Henry Kissinger ever dreamed of. I will exclude overexposed movies like Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and the Mexican film Santa Claus. Visit my Bad Movie page if you want full-length reviews of the following 14 flicks.
THE CHRISTMAS MARTIAN (1971) – This Canadian flick is dubbed into English from its orginal French so viewers get treated to the Old School bad movie fun of the actor’s lip movements rarely matching the words being said. An annoyingly whimsical and whacky Martian gets stuck in Canada at Christmas time. A young brother and sister help the alien visitor repair his Ed Wood- level spaceship and save him from suspicious Canadian authorities. Yes, it all seems … reminiscent … of the much-later movie E.T. but I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that E.T. is so similar. (?)
The Martian overdoes the zaniness factor to such a degree that even Charles Nelson Reilly would have told him to tone it down a little. He also wallows in a Canadian candy treat that looks a lot like Reese’s Pieces. Just sayin’.
SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY (1972) – Ever want to see Santa Claus sweating so much that his red pants cling to his butt tightly enough for his crack and each buttock to stand out wide and proud? THIS is the movie for you! (And please stay away from children.) Santa’s sleigh crash-lands in Continue reading
NUMBER ONE – It wasn’t even close! Far and away the most popular blog post from January was my examination of Jean de la Hire’s neglected Pulp Hero, the Nyctalope (“Nightwalker”). This cyborg hero debuted very early in the 20th Century – as in before World War One! 
NUMBER TWO – The ladies in the Real-Life League of Extraordinary Women always get a big reaction from readers and this entry was no exception! 
NUMBER THREE – Balladeer’s Blog’s reviews of bad and/or obscure movies are among my favorite pieces to write. For January the film review that stood out to you readers was this one: 
NUMBER FOUR – Legendary Apollo Astronaut Eugene Cernan passed away in January of 2017. 
series 21st Century Golem. For two seasons that edgy, irreverent show presented Jewish folklore’s clay monster the Golem defending Israeli children and the elderly from blood-crazed Hamas butchers with time out to battle the Muslim Brotherhood and Boko Haram for good measure. 
THE ZEBRA 
DEMOCRAT CORINNE BROWN SENT TO PRISON FOR RUNNING A FAKE CHARITY AS A SLUSH FUND – If you’re like me you’ve lost count on how many Democrats in office commit this same type of crime. In this case Democrat Corinne Brown, a Florida Representative to Congress until her electoral defeat last November, was sentenced to 5 years in prison plus restitution payments when she gets out. 
“The rest paid for things such as events and travel for Brown and those in her orbit, as well as dozens of cash deposits to her personal bank account and a range of frivolous expenses, like nearly $14,000 for Beyonce tickets and $15,000 for a suite at a Jaguars-Redskins game.
Ah, Democrats and their “Peculiar Institutions!” Like Fake Charities and so many others.
THE TERRIBLE SUBMARINE (1901) – Written by THE Archibald Williams. The Teredo, a souped-up, futuristic submarine is roaming the high seas preying on the world’s shipping at will. The speed and weaponry of the vessel and its anonymous Captain outclass anything that anyone else has in use. 
BRIAN ROSS SUSPENDED FOUR WEEKS WITHOUT PAY – Fake Newsman Brian Ross from ABC’s fake news had mindless Trump-haters frothing at the mouth last week – well, frothing even MORE than they normally do. Ross proved once again how fake most anti-Trump news is AND how utterly ignorant American newsreaders are. 
