As Christmas Season rolls along here’s Big Bad Voodoo Daddy with their rendition of the Snow Miser AND Heat Miser songs.
CHRISTMAS TURKEYS: BAD MOVIES FOR THE SEASON
Regular readers of Balladeer’s Blog are very familiar with my Bad Movie page. Laughing at bad and weird movies is one of the great joys of life so I often post holiday-themed looks at cinematic turkeys around Halloween and Thanksgiving.
The Yuletide season has its fair share of turkeys as well, so enjoy this examination of more Christmas season bombs than even Henry Kissinger ever dreamed of. I will exclude overexposed movies like Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and the Mexican film Santa Claus. Visit my Bad Movie page if you want full-length reviews of the following 14 flicks.
THE CHRISTMAS MARTIAN (1971) – This Canadian flick is dubbed into English from its orginal French so viewers get treated to the Old School bad movie fun of the actor’s lip movements rarely matching the words being said. An annoyingly whimsical and whacky Martian gets stuck in Canada at Christmas time. A young brother and sister help the alien visitor repair his Ed Wood- level spaceship and save him from suspicious Canadian authorities. Yes, it all seems … reminiscent … of the much-later movie E.T. but I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that E.T. is so similar. (?)
The Martian overdoes the zaniness factor to such a degree that even Charles Nelson Reilly would have told him to tone it down a little. He also wallows in a Canadian candy treat that looks a lot like Reese’s Pieces. Just sayin’.
SANTA AND THE ICE CREAM BUNNY (1972) – Ever want to see Santa Claus sweating so much that his red pants cling to his butt tightly enough for his crack and each buttock to stand out wide and proud? THIS is the movie for you! (And please stay away from children.) Santa’s sleigh crash-lands in Continue reading
Filed under Bad and weird movies
CHRISTMAS IS THE TIME TO SAY I LOVE YOU – BY BILLY SQUIER
Here’s one of my favorite Christmas songs – it’s Billy Squier with Christmas Is The Time To Say I Love You.
Filed under opinion
2017’s BEST: JANUARY
December is the month for retrospectives of the calendar year. Here’s a look at Balladeer’s Blog’s Best from January.
NUMBER ONE – It wasn’t even close! Far and away the most popular blog post from January was my examination of Jean de la Hire’s neglected Pulp Hero, the Nyctalope (“Nightwalker”). This cyborg hero debuted very early in the 20th Century – as in before World War One!
Years before Doc Savage and others, the Nyctalope (Leo Saint-Clair) battled world-conquering supervillains, alien menaces, lost Amazon civilizations, Far Eastern Blood Cults and much, much more! From Earth to Mars to Earth’s non-existent second moon called Rhea follow this criminally overlooked figure into action! CLICK HERE
NUMBER TWO – The ladies in the Real-Life League of Extraordinary Women always get a big reaction from readers and this entry was no exception!
The heroic Asra Nomani dove into the fray unafraid, confounding those Left-Wing Archie Bunkers who feel that ONLY Muslims who hate the Western World are “authentic.” For the blog post on this remarkable lady CLICK HERE
NUMBER THREE – Balladeer’s Blog’s reviews of bad and/or obscure movies are among my favorite pieces to write. For January the film review that stood out to you readers was this one:
No Survivors Please (1964) – A black & white sci fi curiosity from West Germany. The film dealt with an alien invasion but was – to say the least – different from virtually any other alien invasion flick. At least in presentation, if not in ideas. For the actual review CLICK HERE
NUMBER FOUR – Legendary Apollo Astronaut Eugene Cernan passed away in January of 2017.
In memory of this space pioneer Balladeer’s Blog ran a synopsis of Cernan’s Apollo 17 mission – the last Apollo flight to visit the moon.
As a bonus I examined five OTHER Apollo missions, too.
For all that moon-madness CLICK HERE
NUMBER FIVE – PAT CONDELL needs no introduction, and on Inauguration Day back in January I re-ran Pat’s Election Day 2016 monologue about how it HAD to be Trump. This post was very popular but I can’t take credit for any of it – it is ALL Pat’s material. BUT HE NAILED IT! CLICK BELOW TO HEAR HIM:
Filed under opinion, Uncategorized
A GOLEM BATTLES HAMAS: 21st CENTURY GOLEM
It seemed like a good time for a quick take on each individual episode of the cable
series 21st Century Golem. For two seasons that edgy, irreverent show presented Jewish folklore’s clay monster the Golem defending Israeli children and the elderly from blood-crazed Hamas butchers with time out to battle the Muslim Brotherhood and Boko Haram for good measure.
The pro-Hamas Barack Obama was the blustering comic-relief villain of the series and the actor portraying him has since been subjected to an IRS audit. Here’s a look at the highest-rated cable series in history!
EPISODE ONE – “21st Century Golem” – In the premier episode a Rabbi in Israel brings the clay monster called the Golem to life to fulfill its usual mission of protecting Jews from the hatemongers who always want them dead.
The Golem heroically fights off dozens of murderous Hamas child-killers, but Pallywood – the Hamas propoganda arm – tries to make it seem like the Golem is to blame for all the violence. Barack Obama is the only world leader fooled by this and he calls on the U.N. to denounce Israel, which it does with giddy abandon. FOR THE FULL REVIEW CLICK HERE: https://glitternight.com/2013/10/25/twenty-first-century-golem-new-cable-tv-series/
EPISODE TWO – “Tears Fall From the Sky” – A group of delusional college students from America show up to show their solidarity with Hamas despite Hamas’ misogyny and homophobia. In a possible reference to the real-life Rachel Corrie incident the episode featured the college students summoning up the ghost of a naive young woman who died showing her devotion to terrorism. Continue reading
Filed under Fantastic Movie Reviews
THE ZEBRA: ODDBALL SUPERHERO
With superheroes dominating popular culture right now Balladeer’s Blog takes a look at another odd Golden Age figure: the Zebra.
THE ZEBRA
Secret Identity: John Doyle, Attorney
Origin: John Doyle was framed for murder by corrupt politicians who wanted him out of the way. Just two days before his scheduled execution Doyle escaped from prison, lost the pursuing authorities and set out to clear himself.
Using his striped prison outfit as the basis for a costume, John added a mask, gloves, boots, a cape and a “Z” belt buckle to complete his ensemble. After proving his innocence, John Doyle resolved to continue fighting crime under the nom de guerre Zebra.
First Appearance: Pocket Comics #1 (April 1941). His final Golden Age appearance came in 1946.
Powers: The Zebra was in peak human condition, excelled at unarmed combat and was more agile than an Olympic athlete. As an interesting twist for Golden Age superheroes the Zebra’s specialty was French Kick-Boxing aka Savate.
Those “Zebra Kicks” helped justify this unusual hero’s handle. It was sometimes implied that the Zebra’s legs were in such incredible shape from Kickboxing that he could run faster than most ordinary men, too.
Comment: Created by artist Pierce Rice and an unknown writer working under the alias “Ellery King,” the Zebra was one of the Golden Age superheroes published by Harvey Comics.
STORIES: Continue reading
Filed under Superheroes
DEMOCRAT ATROCITY ROUNDUP: DECEMBER 6th
Balladeer’s Blog despises the Democrats and the Republicans equally but right now there’s no denying that the Democrats are far more pompous and more in need of being cut down to size. U.S. career politicians are white-collar criminals.
DEMOCRAT CORINNE BROWN SENT TO PRISON FOR RUNNING A FAKE CHARITY AS A SLUSH FUND – If you’re like me you’ve lost count on how many Democrats in office commit this same type of crime. In this case Democrat Corinne Brown, a Florida Representative to Congress until her electoral defeat last November, was sentenced to 5 years in prison plus restitution payments when she gets out.
Per News 4 in Jacksonville, FL:
“At its core, the case was focused on One Door, a group billed as a charity for disadvantaged children that raised more than $800,000 over a four-year stretch. In fact, most of that money benefited Brown personally. Of the $833,000 raised, only $1,200 went toward scholarships. ***
“The rest paid for things such as events and travel for Brown and those in her orbit, as well as dozens of cash deposits to her personal bank account and a range of frivolous expenses, like nearly $14,000 for Beyonce tickets and $15,000 for a suite at a Jaguars-Redskins game.
“A jury found Brown guilty … of 18 counts of federal mail, wire and tax fraud for soliciting donations for the fake charity, using that charity as a “slush fund” for herself and her associates, and lying on her taxes and congressional disclosure forms. (News4Jax) ”
Ah, Democrats and their “Peculiar Institutions!” Like Fake Charities and so many others.
So when does Hillary Clinton get sentenced, since she did the same thing plus other offenses. Talk about White Privilege! DRAIN THE SWAMP! Continue reading
Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion
SONG: CLEAN UP YOUR ACT FROM AN ALL DOGS CHRISTMAS CAROL (1998)
Yes, it’s another isolated song from a version of A Christmas Carol which I have previously reviewed in its entirety. From An All Dogs Christmas Carol it’s Clean Up Your Act as the Scrooge stand-in (Carface Caruthers) begs the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come to give him some hope.
Filed under A CHRISTMAS CAROL
THE TERRIBLE SUBMARINE (1901): ANCIENT SCIENCE FICTION
THE TERRIBLE SUBMARINE (1901) – Written by THE Archibald Williams. The Teredo, a souped-up, futuristic submarine is roaming the high seas preying on the world’s shipping at will. The speed and weaponry of the vessel and its anonymous Captain outclass anything that anyone else has in use.
Marcus Hammersley, a young British inventor, designs and oversees the construction of the Otter, a super-submarine of his own. The Otter is outfitted with the inventor’s innovative sensor equipment – including what we would today call sonar. Hammersley believes his vessel’s engines can propel the Otter faster than the mysterious Teredo once his sensors help him locate the pirate sub. Continue reading
Filed under Ancient Science Fiction
BRIAN ROSS HUMILIATED BY HIS ANTI-TRUMP FAKE NEWS
BRIAN ROSS SUSPENDED FOUR WEEKS WITHOUT PAY – Fake Newsman Brian Ross from ABC’s fake news had mindless Trump-haters frothing at the mouth last week – well, frothing even MORE than they normally do. Ross proved once again how fake most anti-Trump news is AND how utterly ignorant American newsreaders are.
The stock market actually tanked for awhile based on other Trump-hating Fake News Organizations picking up Brian Ross’ false claim that Donald Trump – while still a candidate – had ordered Mike Flynn to contact the eeevilll Russians. WRONG once again, Trump-haters!
ABC HAD TO RUN AN APOLOGY TO ITS VIEWERS FOR THE FAKE NEWS! I love it! And Joy Behar on The View From Bitter Old Left-Wing Archie Bunkers HAD TO WALK BACK HER JUBILANT ASSUMPTION THAT THE FAKE NEWS WAS REAL!
Ross joined the ranks of our corporate media’s Wile E Coyotes whose loopy schemes backfire in their own faces. His major mistake? NOT UNDERSTANDING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE AND A PRESIDENT-ELECT!
Sure, Trump had not yet taken office, but AFTER the election he was no longer a candidate, he was a President-Elect preparing his Administration. Trump’s impotent detractors proved once again that they are clueless about our political system.
Hey, Trump-haters! You screw-ups like to pretend President Trump is “stupid” yet YOU’RE the ones always left looking like idiots! Your non-stop lying and frenzied propaganda has gotten to the point where even if I didn’t support President Trump I think I would be pretending to, since I’ve seen the kind of people who oppose him. Continue reading
Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion
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