TOP ODDLY-NAMED BANDS OF THE PAST

Mascot new lookIf I ever formed a rock band of my own I would, needless to say, base the name on something from Bad Movie Lore. Something like Renegade Belgian Cardinals – based on a line of dialogue from the Serial-Killer Priest flick The Confessional.

Putting that aside here’s a quick Balladeer’s Blog list of Oddly-Named Bands of the Past. It’s strictly for people who sometimes wake up at 3am and wonder if Gene was only pretending to love Jezebel.

Trash Can SinatrasTHE TRASH CAN SINATRAS

When you hear the name Sinatra you immediately think of … Scotland? Well, no you don’t, but that’s where this band hailed from.

Used in a Sentence: “The Trash Can Sinatras is a hell of a mean-spirited way of referring to Nancy and Tina!”

FRONT 242

For decades this band was known as THE influence in Belgian Industrial Rock, complete with all the massive cultural firepower that implies. (Oh, sure, Balladeer, pick on the Belgians!)

Used in a Sentence: “You fight the front 242 … I’ll handle the 243rd guy back there.” Continue reading

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COLLEGE BASKETBALL: MORE TICKETS PUNCHED TO THE NAIA TOURNAMENT

CHICAGOLAND COLLEGIATE ATHLETIC CONFERENCE

Governors State University JaguarsCHAMPIONSHIP GAME – The top seeds – the GOVERNORS STATE JAGUARS – took on the 2nd seeded ROOSEVELT UNIVERSITY LAKERS for the CCAC crown yesterday.

By Halftime the Jaguars had shot out to a 39-29 advantage and that turned out to be the difference in the game. The 2nd Half was spent keeping the Lakers at arm’s length and in the end Governors State won the title by a final tally of 78-68. Jalen Miller notched 22 points to lead the victors. * THE JAGUARS ARE THE CHAMPIONS OF THE CCAC TOURNAMENT Continue reading

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LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES: AMAZING PARALLELS

mascot new look donkey and elephant headsWelcome back to Balladeer’s Blog! Like other adults here in the U.S. my own views are a mix of “liberal” and “conservative” attitudes, that’s why the rest of us find dogmatic Liberals and dogmatic Conservatives (with capitalized L’s and C’s) to be so outdated and laughably partisan. 

 

Liberals think they’re fit to lecture the rest of us about “diversity”. / Conservatives think they’re fit to lecture the rest of us about “family values”. 

Liberals are pretentious fools who actually think they’re the country’s official “intellectuals”.  / Conservatives are nationalist fools who actually think they’re the country’s official “patriots”. 

Liberals mindlessly take sides against their own country no matter what the circumstances. / Conservatives mindlessly side with their own country no matter what the circumstances.

Liberals have hopelessly politicized the educational system, then feign outrage when people prefer home-schooling, even though it’s exactly what they would do if their children were being force-fed Conservative dogma. / Conservatives have hopelessly politicized religion, then feign outrage when people avoid church because they don’t need clueless clergy members telling them what their political views should be. 

Liberals want us to treat Christians like they’re less than human. / Conservatives want us to treat homosexuals like they’re less than human.

Liberals pompously think they’re fit to decide who is “racist.” / Conservatives pompously think they’re fit to decide who is “unpatriotic.”

Liberals want to teach only the negative aspects of American history while ignoring the positive aspects. / Conservatives want to teach only the positive aspects of American history while ignoring the negative aspects.  

Liberals grandly admonish against “demonizing” and “dehumanizing” people even though they spend all their time demonizing and dehumanizing American Conservatives. / Conservatives endlessly congratulate themselves for their alleged “Christian compassion” but loathe the thought of tax money aiding their fellow human beings in any way. Continue reading

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LATEST COLLEGE BASKETBALL CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT RESULTS

ASSOCIATION OF INDEPENDENT INSTITUTIONS

Stillman College TigersCHAMPIONSHIP GAME – This title tilt pitted the STILLMAN COLLEGE TIGERS against the VOORHEES COLLEGE TIGERS, so you can insert my usual comment about how there are too many college sports teams called Tigers, Eagles, Bulldogs and Wildcats.

At the end of an explosive 1st Half Stillman College  led Voorhees College by a count of 44-38. After the break a 7-0 run put Voorhees on top 45-44 but Stillman soon retook the lead. After several ties the rest of the way the end result was an 87-84 triumph for Stillman College. Daquan Forrest led the victors with 22 points.  * THE STILLMAN TIGERS ARE THE 2018 CHAMPIONS OF THE AII TOURNAMENT

GREAT PLAINS ATHLETIC CONFERENCE

Northwestern (IA) Red Raiders logoFIRST SEMIFINAL – The 3rd seeded NORTHWESTERN (IA) COLLEGE RED RAIDERS took the court against the 7 seeds – the DOANE UNIVERSITY TIGERS (Didn’t I tell you there are too many teams called Tigers?)

The Red Raiders struck a blow for more original team names (Unless you’re from Lubbock) by leading the Tigers 34-25 by the Half. From there Northwestern College stayed in control and ultimately advanced to the Conference title game by a score of 77-63. Nathan Wedel tossed in 25 points to lead the way for the Red Raiders.    Continue reading

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PRINCE: I COULD NEVER TAKE THE PLACE OF YOUR MAN

Mascot new lookRegular readers of Balladeer’s Blog may remember that Prince’s passing a few years ago was what prompted me to start my recurring bit Give Them A Shoutout Before They’re Dead.

Adam Ant was the first artist I gave a shout-out to way back then, but since Prince himself was left out let’s ignore the “dead” part and give him an overdue shout-out anyway. From Sign O’ The Times in 1987 it’s I Could Never Take The Place Of Your Man:

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BLACK PANTHER DEFEATS KLAW TO SAVE HIS FELLOW AVENGERS

Avengers 126AVENGERS Volume 1, Number 126 (August 1974)  All the Sights and Sounds of Death

AVENGERS ROSTER: Thor (Donald Blake, MD), Iron Man (Tony Stark), Captain America (Steve Rogers), The Scarlet Witch (Wanda), The Black Panther (Prince T’Challa), The Vision (not applicable), The Swordsman (Jacques Duquesne) and MANTIS (Mantis Brandt).

ALL THE SIGHTS AND SOUNDS OF DEATH

Synopsis: The exact amount of time between the last installment’s conclusion of the Thanos War and the beginning of this installment is another of those things that obsessive fans debate as they try to establish a timeline of Avengers stories. 

In any event this issue starts out at Avengers Mansion in New York City. Inside, Mantis is watching her romantic partner the Swordsman battle some robots in the Avengers’ Training Room. The Swordsman is trying to show off for her because he is still smarting with insecurity over the way Mantis and the Vision seem to be growing more and more attracted to each other. 

The various energy blasts from the Swordsman’s high-tech sword finish off the two remaining robots he’s fighting but Mantis still seems distracted. As they kiss it is obvious her thoughts are already turning toward the Vision.

The Vision himself is pondering his growing fears that his android brain may be malfunctioning. His panic attacks in Dormammu’s quicksand and Taurus’ pool combined with Ant-Man’s mysterious discovery in the Vision’s brain during the Kree-Skrull War all continue to hang in the air.     

Mantis miniMeanwhile, the Vision’s romantic partner the Scarlet Witch, is still torn with her own fears that the Vision may leave her for Mantis. (Two women fighting over him? The Vision really IS fully functional.) Wanda ponders her recent arguments with the Vision and how he always makes the arguments out to be HER fault. Continue reading

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COLLEGE BASKETBALL CONFERENCE TOURNAMENTS CONTINUE

CALIFORNIA PACIFIC CONFERENCE

uc merced golden bobcatsFIRST SEMIFINAL – End of a Dynasty! The 2nd seeded UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA AT MERCED GOLDEN BOBCATS ended the half-decade run in which the (3) CALIFORNIA MARITIME ACADEMY KEELHAULERS dominated the Cal Pacific Conference.

The opening Half was a Defensive Epic, ending with the Golden Bobcats on top of the Keelhaulers 29-21. Cal Maritime, as usual, didn’t give up and forced Overtime with a 55-55 tie to end Regulation. The 1st Overtime session ended knotted up at 63-63 but in the 2nd OT UC-Merced emerged with a 71-70 triumph! Cole Taira led this consummate team effort with his 12 points.

University of Antelope Valley PioneersSECOND SEMIFINAL – This game pitted the top seeds – the UNIVERSITY OF ANTELOPE VALLEY PIONEERS – against the 4th seeded SIMPSON (CA) UNIVERSITY RED HAWKS.

The Pioneers made sure to avoid all the sturm und drang of the First Semifinal and bolted out to a 42-30 lead over the Red Hawks by the Half. From there Antelope Valley’s virtual Teenage Crime Wave continued (bad movie fans will get it) as they smothered Simpson U by a final count of 83-58. The Pioneers were led by Sheldon Blackwell’s 19 points and 6 rebounds. 

THE SUN CONFERENCE

thomas-university-night-hawks-bigOPENING ROUND, GAME ONE – The 3rd seeded THOMAS UNIVERSITY NIGHTHAWKS took the court against the 6 seeds – the COLLEGE OF COASTAL GEORGIA MARINERS.

The Nighthawks utterly dominated the Mariners on both sides of the ball and held a commanding 42-28 lead by Halftime. After the break Thomas University coasted the rest of the way for a 77-65 victory. Katrell Myers tossed in 24 points to lead the way for the Nighthawks. Continue reading

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MOCK HEADLINES ARE BACK: FEBRUARY 25th

mascot new look donkey and elephant headsMURKY MUELLER INSISTS IT’S HIS RIGHT TO KEEP HIS PHONY INVESTIGATION GOING LONG ENOUGH TO LEAK UNSUBSTANTIATED INFO SO AS TO INFLUENCE THE MID-TERM ELECTIONS

JIMMY KIMMEL DEMANDS THAT VICTIMS OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT VIOLENCE SHOULD BE DEPORTED, NOT THE ILLEGALS WHO ASSAULTED THEM

MCMASTERS VOWS TO HOLD ALL FUTURE PRESS CONFERENCES FROM A SEATED POSITION WHILE STROKING A WHITE CAT

FBI CLAIMS IT WAS TOO BUSY WITH ITS ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES TO STOP THE FLORIDA SHOOTER DESPITE MULTIPLE WARNINGS ABOUT HIM

FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP, WIFE OF UNITED STATES PRESIDENT DONALD TRUMP, STILL SPEAKS MORE LANGUAGES THAN BOTH OBAMAS COMBINED

DEMOCRATS CLAIM EXPERTS HAVE PROVEN THAT THEY ARE THE ONLY DECENT AND CARING PEOPLE IN THE WORLD AND ANYONE DISAGREEING WITH THEM IS GUILTY OF HATE SPEECH

Holocaust survivor on fascismA TEARY-EYED NANCY PELOSI DECLARES BARACK OBAMA TO BE “AS WRONGLY SUSPECTED OF ILLEGALITIES AS JOHN GOTTI WAS!”

GOTTI FAMILY ANNOUNCES LAWSUIT OVER PELOSI COMPARING THE LATE MAFIA DON TO THE SLEAZY, SLIMY CROOK OBAMA

CNN CLAIMS NO CHILD’S PETS WOULD EVER DIE IF NOT FOR TRUMP

ROGER GOODELL BOASTS ABOUT HOW EASY IT WAS TO DISTRACT MEDIA WORMS FROM TALKING ABOUT ALL THE RAPISTS AND WOMAN-BEATERS IN THE NFL

JARED KUSHNER STILL A BUFFOON, EXPERTS SAY

DEMOCRATS CALL FOR IT TO BE A HATE CRIME TO PUBLICLY MOURN THE VICTIMS OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS WHO COMMIT MURDER

CALIFORNIA INTRODUCES NEW COURTROOM PROCEDURE IN WHICH ANYONE ACCUSED OF ANY CRIME WILL BE PARDONED AND SET FREE AS LONG AS THEY MAKE A PUBLIC STATEMENT AGAINST PRESIDENT TRUMP. Speaking fees, book deals and glowing appearances on all Democrat talk shows add allure to the deal Continue reading

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BLACK PANTHER’S WAR PITTING WAKANDA AGAINST ATLANTIS CONCLUDES

With Marvel’s Black Panther movie making such a splash right now here’s the conclusion of the Summer of 1980 script-doctoring bit about Wakanda and Atlantis fighting each other. 

FOR PART ONE OF THIS ARTICLE CLICK  HERE 

Defenders 86 Quiet Riot

DEFENDERS Vol 1: Number 86 (Aug 1980) – D-Day on Kiber Island  (My title – the original title was The Left Hand of Silence)

On Kiber Island the Defenders are caught between two armies about to collide: On one side an Atlantean army with troops riding on a large number of those subsea monsters Sub-Mariner often uses to attack the surface world. On the other a Wakandan army with troops riding and flying around on a large number of dinosaurs from Serpent Valley. 

Our heroes – Hulk, Sub-Mariner, Valkyrie, Clea and Foolkiller (Greg Salinger) try to shake off the Mandrill’s taunts as his viewscreen shuts off. The Defenders’ actions vary from struggling just to survive amidst all the lumbering monsters and high-tech weaponry of the clashing armies and trying to stop the violence since they know both sides are being manipulated. Foolkiller would be his usual battle-crazed “Emilo Estevez in Young Guns” self while Valkyrie would remind him to spare lives as much as possible.   Continue reading

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DRIVE-IN OF THE DAMNED: FIRST ISSUE OUT NOW

Drive In Of the DamnedBalladeer’s Blog’s love of old exploitation films is well known.

For everyone else who shares my enthusiasm a new ‘zine launched this month.

It’s titled Drive-In of the Damned: The Preservation of Exploitation. One of the features of this debut issue is a lost interview with Ted V Mikels, the man behind films like The Corpse Grinders, Astro-Zombies, The Doll Squad, Blood Orgy of the She-Devils and many more. 

FOR MORE CLICK HERE

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