Author Archives: balladeer

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About balladeer

I am passionately interested in college sports, ancient Greek comedies, bad/weird movies, mythology, the American Revolution, Puck Magazine, World War I, U.S. Presidential history, silent movies, the English Civil War, epic, lyric and comic poetry, U.S. Supreme Court history, the Revolutions of 1848, the Philippine War and old pulp heroes like The Moon Man, Pilot G8, Silver John and The Rio Kid.
January 3, 2019 · 11:16 pm

COLLEGE BASKETBALL RANKINGS FROM BALLADEER’S BLOG

Balladeer’s Blog’s latest college basketball rankings per the Glitternight Index.

LSU-Alexandria GeneralsNAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics) – 1. LSU-ALEXANDRIA GENERALS    ###     2. MISSOURI BAPTIST UNIVERSITY SPARTANS    ###     3. WILLIAM PENN UNIVERSITY STATESMEN    ###     4. CARROLL (MT) FIGHTING SAINTS    ###    5. VANGUARD UNIVERSITY LIONS    ###    

acu firestorm6. ARIZONA CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY FIRESTORM    ###     7. BENEDICTINE COLLEGE RAVENS     ###     8. OKLAHOMA CITY UNIVERSITY STARS     ###     9. JOHN BROWN UNIVERSITY GOLDEN EAGLES (Should be the Abolitionists)     ###     10. UNIVERSITY OF PROVIDENCE ARGONAUTS     ###     Continue reading →

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January 3, 2019 · 10:47 am

ANCIENT SCIENCE FICTION: THE LUNARIAN PROFESSOR (1909)

Lunarian ProfessorTHE LUNARIAN PROFESSOR AND HIS REMARKABLE REVELATIONS CONCERNING THE EARTH, THE MOON AND MARS TOGETHER WITH AN ACCOUNT OF THE CRUISE OF THE SALLY ANN (1909) – Written by James B Alexander back in the glory days of titles so long they might not fit in a 140 character limit.

The story is set in 1892, when James Alexander pretends that, while on a fishing trip he encountered a humanoid with a head like a globe, six limbs, large eyes and six wings. The being claims to be a “Lunarian,” a man from our moon.

He is a professor and informs Alexander that he and his fellow Lunarians travel from planet to planet by manipulating gravity. They live in vast underground caverns on the moon, caverns with a breathable atmosphere. Their mastery of gravity is the key to their advanced technology.

The professor’s people have been observing Earth for an untold amount of time. James Alexander even learns that in the distant past humans had to fight intelligently evolving reptiles for planetary supremacy. The cavemen won.

The Lunarians grow vegetation in hydroponic trays and dispose of their dead through a disintegration process that breaks the bodies down into their base elements, thus nothing gets wasted. Continue reading →

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January 2, 2019 · 3:47 pm

#BLEXIT: KANYE WEST STILL HYPING TRUMP AND DISSING DEMOCRAT FASCISM

Kanye Democrat PlantationKanye West brought in 2019 by reaffirming his fondness for de facto Third Party President Donald Trump. (And no, that doesn’t mean he likes Republicans, since the Donald is not a real Republican OR Democrat.)

Per Billboard (link below, but first an excerpt):

“Trump all day,” he wrote, followed by dragon emojis — likely calling back to tweets from April in which he said he and Donald Trump share “dragon energy,” which he defined as “natural born leaders,” “very instinctive” and “great foresight.”

“They will not program me. Blacks are 90% Democrats,” West tweeted. “That sounds like control to me.”

On his Twitter account Kanye also vowed to continue performing while wearing a MAGA hat:

“One of my favorite of many things about what the Trump hat represents to me is that people can’t tell me what to do because I’m black.”

“From now on I’m performing with my mutherf****ng hat on”
Continue reading →

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January 2, 2019 · 2:36 pm

NAIA FOOTBALL CHAMPS DEFEAT THE NCAA FOOTBALL CHAMPS AGAIN

Morningside MustangsBalladeer’s Bowl always pits the NAIA football champs against the NCAA D3 football champs. The results are in, and – after two years in a row in which the D3 champs won – the NAIA champs got the victory. The MORNINGSIDE COLLEGE MUSTANGS defeated the UNIVERSITY OF MARY HARDIN-BAYLOR CRUSADERS in Balladeer’s Bowl IX.

The voting ended today and the Mustangs won it 242 to 196. CONGRATULATIONS TO THE MUSTANGS, THE WINNERS OF BALLADEER’S BOWL IX.

Here are the results of the 8 previous editions of Balladeer’s Bowl: Continue reading →

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January 1, 2019 · 10:49 pm

JUSTICE SOCIETY 10: THE BLACK DRAGONS

SandmanEnjoy some more kid-friendly holiday season content as Balladeer’s Blog wraps up the Christmas/ New Year celebrations for this time around. It’s the very first superhero team in history: the Justice Society of America. FOR PART ONE CLICK  HERE 

I will review the original issue and then detail how I would “script-doctor” the story for modern audiences.

All-Star 12ALL STAR COMICS #12 (August 1942)

Title: VICTORY FOR AMERICA AND DEMOCRACY

Heroes: STARMAN, WONDER WOMAN (Original), THE SPECTRE, DOCTOR FATE, SANDMAN, HAWKMAN (Original), DOCTOR MIDNITE, THE ATOM (Original), JOHNNY THUNDER

Villains: THE BLACK DRAGON SOCIETY

Synopsis: Just as the U.S. Government had previously asked the Justice Society to take on the Greyshirts, Nazi Germany’s covert saboteur network in America, they now sic our heroes on Imperial Japan’s covert Black Dragon Society in America. Continue reading →

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January 1, 2019 · 4:20 pm

NINETEEN MORE COOL FOOTBALL HELMETS

HAPPY NEW YEAR! This day is all about football so Balladeer’s Blog welcomes 2019 with a look at 19 more cool football helmets. 

Bishop Guilfoyle MaraudersBISHOP GUILFOYLE MARAUDERS

Comment from Balladeer: Having a depiction of a sword-wielding Scotsman on your helmet is no guarantee of victory. But it sure doesn’t hurt.

I can’t tell if that’s supposed to be a Claymore.   

Central Cambria Red DevilsCENTRAL CAMBRIA RED DEVILS

Comment from Balladeer: Now that is some excellent artwork for this helmet logo.

And how can you not love that whole “What’re YOU lookin’ at?” expression on the Red Devil’s face? 

Lebanon CedarsLEBANON CEDARS

Comment from Balladeer: Not only is the name Cedars fairly unique among sports teams but the tie-in with the notorious Cedars of Lebanon makes this lid irresistible.

Terrific in all kinds of ways.   Continue reading →

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December 31, 2018 · 11:25 pm

BEST OF NOVEMBER 2018

Balladeer’s Blog’s look back on 2018 concludes with this review of November’s best:

Trump and black supportDYSTOPIA NATION: DEMOCRATS PERSECUTE PEOPLE OF COLOR WHO LEAVE THE PARTY – This most recent installment of Dystopia Nation dealt with the way the intolerant fascists who call themselves Democrats think people of color are only “authentic” if they obediently toe the Democrat Party line.

Free-thinking voters of color get harassed by Democrats, the party of the Ku Klux Klan, in direct proportion to how many of them reject the condescending, privileged white people who run that political party. CLICK HERE

Doughboy WarWORLD WAR ONE: SOME INTRIGUING BOOKS – This November saw the 100th anniversary of the end of World War One on November 11th.

Balladeer’s Blog presented quick reviews of several books that cover the First World War, from well-known topics all the way to neglected side elements. For this blog post CLICK HERE

Trump and black people in maga hatsYUMIKO BLASCHKO: TRUMP’S POLICIES ARE WORKING WELL FOR WOMEN AND MINORITIES – Woman of color Yumiko Blaschko once again ignored the pompous white left-wing Archie Bunkers called Democrats and spoke her mind.

For her excellent and profound look at how President Trump defies both the Republicans and Democrats to help working class and poor people of ALL colors CLICK HERE

John Adams fighting a giant snakeRANDOM WEIRDNESS: JAPAN’S 1860s LOOK AT AMERICAN HISTORY – This baby must be read to be believed.

Before Japan’s odd J-Horror there was J-History as in this outrageous depiction of our Nation’s Founders as you’ve never seen them before! My personal favorite: Their illustration of Benjamin Franklin casually holding a cannon in his arms and firing it at a troop of Redcoats! Now that’s badass! CLICK HERE 

Allie StuckeyANOTHER FEMALE VOTER FED UP WITH CONDESCENDING DEMOCRAT FOOLS – The title said it all with this terrific item!

Allie’s hilariously sarcastic take on the way so many pompous Democrats who pretend to be “intellectual” (LMAO) alienate so many women by talking down to them. CLICK HERE 

Matarese Circle 2ROBERT LUDLUM EXPANDED UNIVERSE – With “expanded fictional universes” all the rage now Balladeer’s Blog presented this look at a potential Robert Ludlum Expanded Universe.

Television shows like Beowulf Agate, depicting Brandon Scofield’s daring Scarlet Pimpernel-style defection operations from the Cold War Era, or Operation: Medusa, about David Webb (later called Jason Bourne) carrying out covert missions late in the Vietnam War. All that and more, just CLICK HERE

Obama hates childrenTEAR-GASSER IN CHIEF BARACK OBAMA – Democrats are nauseating with their phony concern over illegal immigrants and their children in dealing with the Border Patrol and ICE.

Those political robots never cared about all the deaths that happened in custody or from tear-gas during Obama’s time in office. For a look at the HUNDREDS of incidents CLICK HERE 

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December 31, 2018 · 3:56 pm

NEW YEAR’S EVE BAD MOVIE: TERROR TRAIN (1980) ON THE TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT

Terror TrainBefore MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault!

Balladeer’s Blog continues its examination of this neglected cult show from the mid-1980s. 

EPISODE ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday December 27th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.

EXTRAS: Randy Clower and Richard Malmos, as machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class and members of the fictional Film Vault Corps (“the few, the proud, the sarcastic”) had two and a half hours to work with each week. Interviews with figures like Vincent Price, Forry Ackerman and others were featured and the movies being shown and mocked were often preceded by episodes of old Republic serials like Radar Men from the Moon and others. This episode featured Randy and Richard’s interview with Ben Johnson, whom they had interviewed at his ranch earlier in the year. Johnson also appeared in the episode’s film, Terror Train.

Mysterious Doctor SatanSERIAL: For this episode the movie was preceded by a chapter of Mysterious Doctor Satan in which a mad scientist called Dr Satan commanded a goofy robot and was opposed by a pulp-style hero called Copperhead.   

HOST SEGMENTS: The most memorable Host Segment  Randy and Richard did during this New Year’s-themed horror film was a bit where, as Midnight Dallas Time approached, they staged a countdown and then a raucous celebration of the arrival of … December 28th, 1986. Ken “Tex” Miller, Joe “The Hypnotic Eye” Riley and other Film Vault Corps members joined in the festivities in a great example of the wry humor of this pre-MST3K program.  

1a randy and richard

Randy (right) and Richard way down on Level 31 hosting The Texas 27 Film Vault

TERROR TRAIN (1980) – A New Year’s Eve slasher film set on a train carrying a load of partying passengers who plan to ring in the New Year in each time zone of the United States. As required by law at the time, Jamie Lee Curtis starred since it was a slasher flick with a seasonal theme. (Look under the Federal Halloween, Halloween II and Prom Night Act of 1980 if you don’t believe me)

A few years earlier Curtis and her college buddies played an initiation trick on a freshman by tricking him into bed with a female corpse. The guy had a nervous breakdown from the ugly near-necrophiliac experience (like sleeping with Barbra Streisand must feel) and is supposedly still in a mental hospital because of it. Continue reading →

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December 30, 2018 · 10:39 pm

BEST OF OCTOBER 2018

Balladeer’s Blog’s look back at the Best of 2018 continues with the Best of October.

#walkaway march on washington#WALKAWAY MARCH ON WASHINGTON – Former Democrats disgusted with the Party’s growing intolerance and fascism walked on Washington DC.

Openly gay Brandon Straka organized an entire #WALKAWAY movement that went viral, culminating in October’s #WALKAWAY March on Washington. CLICK HERE

messenger-or-black-priestTHE BLACK ABBOT (1897): GOTHIC HORROR – Halloween Month was, as usual, filled with Balladeer’s Blog’s examination of many neglected horror stories and films.

The Black Abbot was also known as The Black Priest and The Messenger. The author was Robert W Chambers, famous for The King in Yellow. CLICK HERE

Freedom of expression amnesty internationalBALLADEER’S BLOG OVERCAME TECHNO-FASCISTS WHO TRIED TAKING IT DOWN – Yes, I was one of the year’s many targets of privileged white one percenters and techno-fascists who abuse their wealth to try to censor all dissenting opinions.

I was back in action by the 2nd day and marked the occasion with this blog post. CLICK HERE

John SilenceJOHN SILENCE: OCCULT DOCTOR (1908) – Balladeer’s Blog took a Halloween Season look at this oft-forgotten fictional hero.

Doctor John Silence investigated various supernatural goings-on in Europe.

Written by Algernon Blackwood. CLICK HERE 

VoltaireFACULTY LOUNGE FASCIST ROUNDUP: OCTOBER 11th – Yes, it was time once again for Balladeer’s Blog’s continuing look at intolerant left-wing Archie Bunkers who pretend to be “educators.” (LMAO)

For this date’s roundup of some of the narrow-minded fascists who have utterly distorted the educational system just CLICK HERE 

HellraiserHELLRAISER: THE FOUR BEST FILMS – Just in time for the Halloween Season, Balladeer’s Blog examined some of the Hellraiser movies.

I reviewed my choice of the Top Four out of the 10 films in the Hellraiser series.

To read those reviews CLICK HERE

asra-nomaniTRUMP CARDS: OCTOBER 22nd – It was the latest edition of Trump Cards!

This go-round featured yet another gay Judge the Donald nominated for a Federal seat, George Soros’ notorious connections with the ACTUAL Nazis (Yes, he’s THAT old!) and female journalist of color Asra Nomani’s Ida Tarbell-style indictment of Soros. CLICK HERE  

ensouled violinTHE ENSOULED VIOLIN (1880): GOTHIC HORROR – A Halloween Season review of this work of Gothic horror written by Madame Blavatsky herself.

Music and supernaturalism mingle in this macabre tale which features a guest appearance by the real-life violinist Paganini. CLICK HERE

Creepy LineTHE CREEPY LINE (2018) – This excellent documentary look at the abuses of techno-fascists at Google, Facebook, Twitter and all over Silicon Valley is an excellent work of investigative journalism.

Come along for this film’s look at the perverse way in which technology and social media are exploited and monopolized by a clique of white, privileged and obscenely wealthy 21st Century Robber Barons. CLICK HERE   

House on the BorderlandTHE HOUSE ON THE BORDERLAND (1908) – Halloween day itself saw my review of this horror tale written by William Hope Hodgson.

This horrific story was praised by none other than H.P. Lovecraft himself and readers can definitely tell how it influenced him. CLICK HERE

Democrat PlatformNEW DEMOCRAT SLOGANS – Balladeer’s Blog presented more mock slogans for the Democrats.

Regular readers often describe these fake slogans as funnier than some of the Mock Headlines blog posts that I run. CLICK HERE 

Candace Owens#BLEXIT: BLACK EXIT FROM THE DEMOCRAT PARTY PLUS #BLACKLIVESMAGA – The #WALKAWAY movement also spawned allied movements like #BLEXIT and #BLACKLIVESMAGA.

For this blog post CLICK HERE

Trump doing rightMOTHER JONES: MORE FAVORITE TRUMP LINKS – Mother Jones went ahead and provided another list of favorite links regarding President Donald Trump.

This was the second list.

For those links all you have to do is CLICK HERE

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December 30, 2018 · 2:37 pm

JUSTICE SOCIETY 9: WONDER WOMAN JOINS THE TEAM

AtomHere’s some more kid-friendly holiday season content! It’s another look at the very first superhero team in history, DC Comics’ Justice Society of America. FOR PART ONE CLICK HERE 

I will review the original issue and then detail how I would “script-doctor” the story for modern audiences.

All-Star 11ALL STAR COMICS #11 (June 1942)

Title: THE JUSTICE SOCIETY JOINS THE WAR ON JAPAN

Heroes: WONDER WOMAN (Original), THE SPECTRE, HAWKMAN (Original), DOCTOR FATE, THE ATOM (Original), STARMAN, DOCTOR MIDNITE, SANDMAN, JOHNNY THUNDER

Villains: JAPANESE IMPERIAL ARMED FORCES

Synopsis: With World War Two raging, Hawkman’s girlfriend Shiera Sanders (aka JSA Reserve Member Hawkgirl) has enlisted as a nurse in the U.S. Army. Shiera meets Diana Prince, who is secretly Wonder Woman. The ladies share their secrets and through Shiera, Wonder Woman meets the Justice Society of America. Doctor Fate recommends Wonder Woman for JSA membership. 

Wonder WomanThe U.S. government grants the Justice Society full status as a military unit and the heroes spring into action once again against Axis forces.

They defeat Imperial Japanese attacks on American bases, destroy enemy aircraft carriers, assist Allied paratroops and prevent the destruction of a West Coast hospital.

How I Would Revise It: Continue reading →

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