Monthly Archives: October 2016

SPOOKIES (1986)

Spookies 1SPOOKIES (1986) – Halloween month continues here at Balladeer’s Blog with a look at a bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9-sized cult. I mean who does this movie have to sleep with in order to be better known?

Spookies is loaded with laughable and outrageous monsters, acting that porn stars would dismiss as amateurish and gore effects that go from wincingly realistic to childishly weak and back again throughout the flick.

The reason for the uneven tone is that Spookies is yet another example of a bad film that was not completed and then was later combined with new footage to slap together a movie with a long enough running time for theatrical release. They Saved Hitler’s Brain, Monster A Go-Go, The Pink Angels plus Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny are four of the best-known examples of these hybrid monstrosities.  

For obvious reasons the characters in the original footage and the completion footage can never interact in the film and part of the fun for lovers of bad movies lies in the awkward lengths the filmmakers go to to try to hide the cut-and- paste nature of their movie. Continue reading

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Filed under Bad and weird movies, Halloween Season

JORDAN REED AND JOSH NORMAN MIGHT NOT MAKE IT TO LONDON

redskins-and-bengalsThe Redskins and the Bengals have a game on Sunday. What makes the game especially interesting is the fact that it will be situated in London; and that matters because Redskins players Jordan Reed and Josh Norman are dealing with a few health complications at the moment, complications that could affect the NFL odds for the Sunday game.

Reed and Norman’s situations fall under the auspices of the NFL concussion Protocol. Both players have to see a Neurologist who will determine whether they can play the Wembley stadium game on Sunday before they take their flight on Thursday. Continue reading

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NEWSGATE 2016: SHARYL ATTKISSON ON WIKILEAKS AND PRESS-TITUTES

Sharyl Attkisson

America’s sole remaining journalist.

Reporter Sharyl Attkisson is the Ida Tarbell of the 21st Century and may be the last actual journalist in the American media. Careers could be made covering the countless scandals of the bought and paid for criminal Hillary Clinton, but instead reporters are openly covering for her.

Sharyl Attkisson has been persecuted by the Obama Administration for uncovering some of Barack’s own crimes. Meanwhile Hillary’s supporters – better known as “accessories after the fact” – pretend it’s “brave” to obsess over Donald Trump. (By the way, America’s corporate media has made me wonder if Trump is the most honest billionaire in history given the absolute nothings that they try to make Trump “scandals” out of.)  

FOR SHARYL’S PIECE ON NEWSGATE, COMPLETE WITH NAMES CALLED OUT CLICK HERE 

FOR MY OCTOBER 2015 PREDICTIONS OF SO MUCH OF THIS YEAR’S MESS CLICK HERE

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Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Presidential Rap Sheets

CARMILLA (1871) BY SHERIDAN LE FANU

carmillaCARMILLA (1871) – By Sheridan Le Fanu. Balladeer’s Blog’s month-long celebration of Halloween continues. I would have thought that the classic vampire story Carmilla would be too well known for me to have to cover it. I’m surprised at how many people I encounter who are not familiar with the original story, however, just some of the adaptations.  SPOILERS AHEAD!

The vampire Carmilla is really the presumably long-dead Countess Mircalla Karnstein. She fell in love with Laura, the heroine of the story, when Laura was six, so she spared her. As the story begins Laura has turned eighteen, so Carmilla considers her ripe for seduction. The vampire plans to spend eternity with our teenage heroine, in the now-routine element of vampire tales.

A nice novelty is that Carmilla turns into a cat instead of a bat, but otherwise the 200 year-old vampress’ pursuit of Laura followed the usual pattern: “Sickness” strikes dead several girls in the Austrian town near the castle where Laura lives with her father. Eventually she herself begins to show lesser versions of the mysterious illness’ symptoms. Continue reading

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SHOCKING POLL REVEALS THAT ONE PERCENTERS WHO OWN HILLARY CLINTON PREFER HER TO TRUMP!

hillary-clinton-whore-for-wall-street

Hillary Clinton: The Ultimate Whore for Wall Street 

Yes, amid all the confusion with some polls showing Hillary in front and some showing Trump in front comes this shocking poll paid for by Plutocrats for Hillary.

Speaking for the group, bloated rich pig George Soros said “I didn’t pay all that money to Hillary to NOT have her do my bidding as U.S. president. She and I are stronger together, you might say.”

When asked about all the Wikileaks evidence of Hillary’s corruption Soros said “Luckily we 15 billionaires who own all of the U.S. media are ignoring it. We beat Bernie Sanders for Hillary and we’re going to beat Trump for her, too. We all KNOW what Hillary is. Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, opinion

CROSS OF THE SEVEN JEWELS (1987)

Cross of the Seven Jewels 1Halloween month continues at Balladeer’s Blog!

CROSS OF THE SEVEN JEWELS (1987) – Cross of the Seven Jewels is easily the worst and weirdest werewolf movie I’ve ever seen. Forget The Werewolf of Woodstock, forget Face of the Screaming Werewolf, forget Werewolf vs the Yeti and all of Paul Naschy’s other lycanthropy flicks.

You can even forget the muddy-faced wolfman from Dracula, Prisoner of Frankenstein. Marco Antonio Andolfi starred in this film under the name Eddy Endolf plus wrote and directed it as well.

Andolfi was openly influenced by Paul Naschy’s werewolf films from Spain, but produced a cinematic mess that captured neither the eroticism of Naschy’s Waldemar Daninsky movies nor their goofy charm. Marco’s depiction of a werewolf is a bit … eccentric … and can only be described as “just a little something for the laaaadieeessss.”  

Personally, I would have titled this film

Personally, I would have titled this film “Ya Call THAT a Werewolf?” but I’m kind of weird.

When Andolfi transforms into a wolfman he somehow loses his clothes (which illogically reappear on his body when he reverts back to human form) and he sprouts long bushy hair in only a few places. The first place is around his face with his mouth left bare, making him look like he’s wearing a big hair-mask with eye-holes. The second place would be his hands and the third place is his crotch, which conveniently becomes bushy enough to block out the sight of his genitals. The rest of his well-built body is butt naked.  Continue reading

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Filed under Bad and weird movies, Halloween Season

MORE AMERICAN HORROR LEGENDS

Dalton Changeling 2Balladeer’s Blog’s month-long celebration of Halloween continues …

THE DALTON CHANGELING – In late 1700s Massachusetts a malevolent witch replaces the infant child of the Dalton family with a changeling spawned by a dark ceremony. Can the Freemasons of New England devise a way of dealing with the monstrous child or will it be free to roam the countryside on nightly reigns of terror? CLICK HERE    Continue reading

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COLLEGE FOOTBALL RESULTS: NJCAA

Garden City BroncbustersEIGHT AND O – The top 2 teams in the rankings are a perfect 8-0 now. The number 1 team in the nation – the GARDEN CITY COLLEGE BRONCBUSTERS – thrashed their hosts the 12th ranked DODGE CITY COLLEGE CONQUISTADORS 36-7   ###   And the number 2 ARIZONA WESTERN COLLEGE MATADORS won a 21-9 road game against the unranked PIMA COLLEGE AZTECS.   Continue reading

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THE LOST STRADIVARIUS (1895): HALLOWEEN READING

lost-stradivarius-2

*** * *** *** *** *** Jeremy Brett as John Maltravers in a 1966 television adaptation of The Lost Stradivarius.

THE LOST STRADIVARIUS (1895) by John Meade Falkner – More than a century before Anne Rice’s violin-oriented ghost story Violin came The Lost Stradivarius. Halloween month continues here at Balladeer’s Blog with a look at this neglected gem of horror fiction.

The main story is set in the 1840s. John Maltravers, a young man from the British gentry, is attending Magdalen College at Oxford University. Stumbling across an anonymous piece of lost music the talented Maltravers plays the piece on a violin.

This spontaneous recital summons up – among other horrors – the ghost of Adrian Temple, the violinist who composed the eerie piece of music when he was a student at Oxford in the 1750s. That ghost leads John to the hidden location of his (Temple’s) Stradivarius violin. Continue reading

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PREVIEW OF THE 2024 PRESIDENTIAL RACE

women-for-trump

Can we abandon this silly notion that Trump is a racist? Yes, you can make that case against other Republicans – AND Hillary – but I’ve seen no evidence of Trump being a racist.

Right now the polls are all over the place, some predicting victory for Hillary “Bugsy” Clinton and some predicting victory for Donald “Agent Orange” Trump. Personally I hope people get as distrustful of presidential polling as they’ve gotten of the corporate media.

There still seems to be a lot of mindless allegiance to the two major political parties for some reason. Uh, yeah, they gave us such wonderful candidates this year so why think outside the box? Anyway, Balladeer’s Blog is happy to take a look into the future to look at the way unquestioning party zealots will support DemCorp and RepubCorp no matter what kind of candidates they offer.  

black-trump-supporterAFTER BOTH PARTIES DREDGE THE SWAMP, THE 2024 RACE LOOKS LIKE THIS: 

2024’s CANDIDATE FOR THE DEMOCRATS: A three-legged alligator / 2024’s CANDIDATE FOR THE REPUBLICANS : An old rubber tire.

The Democrats will say:

“Oh my God I need to vote for the three-legged alligator or that evil, woman-hating racist old rubber tire might get elected! That thing is like, literally HITLER!”

The Republicans will say: Continue reading

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