Tag Archives: humor

SUPERCUT OF NEW DEMOCRAT SLOGANS

Mascot with demo and repub headsBalladeer’s Blog’s readers have spoken! You’ve asked for a long, “super-cut” collection of all my New Democrat Slogans blog posts in one entry. We’ll start out with a few brand-new ones followed by all the previous mock slogans.

Anyway, Democrats have become such repulsive people that I like to “raise awareness” with them regarding the fact that their pompous snobbery is itself the type of bigotry they pretend to oppose.

DEMOCRATS: ALL OF OUR OPINIONS SHOULD CARRY THE FORCE OF LAW!

DEMOCRATS: THE CAMPAIGN NEVER ENDS … AND NEITHER WILL OUR DISCOVERY OF BOXES FULL OF “UNCOUNTED” VOTES!

DEMOCRATS: WE OVERUSED THE WORD “RACIST” TO THE POINT OF MEANINGLESSNESS. NOW WE’RE DOING THE SAME WITH “WHITE SUPREMACIST.”

DEMOCRATS: ANY SYSTEM IN WHICH ANY OF OUR CANDIDATES CAN LOSE IS AN UNFAIR SYSTEM THAT NEEDS CHANGED, DAMMIT!

DEMOCRATS: WE WARNED YOU THAT IF ANY MORE ELECTIONS DID NOT GO THE WAY WE WANTED THEN WE WOULD IMPOSE VIOLENT FASCISM AND NOW WE’RE KEEPING THAT PROMISE! Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

RANDOM FRIDAY WEIRDNESS IV

Democrat Keith Ellison IS Superman!  Continue reading

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MOCK HEADLINES: OCTOBER 8th

mascot new look donkey and elephant headsDEMOCRATS RENEW THEIR VOW TO “MAKE CALIGULA LOOK SANE!”

NANCY PELOSI DEMANDS THAT WOMEN “JUST SHUT UP AND VOTE FOR US DEMOCRATS!”

SENATE DEMOCRATS TELL DI-FI “THIS IS ANOTHER FEINSTEIN MESS YOU’VE GOTTEN US INTO!” 

PRIVILEGED WHITE WOMAN ALYSSA MILANO HATES IT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE DISOBEY HER WHEN SHE ORDERS THEM TO STOP SUPPORTING TRUMP

ocasio cortezALEXANDRIA OCASIO-CORTEZ SAYS HER SURNAME IS FROM THE SPANISH FOR “CRAZED CHIPMUNK”

DEMOCRATS INSIST THE U.S. CONSTITUTION IS MEANINGLESS BUT A FRAGMENT OF POETRY ON THE BASE OF THE STATUE OF LIBERTY IS LEGALLY BINDING

MAXINE WATERS SAYS “LAWS SHOULD ONLY BE ENFORCED AGAINST POLITICAL ENEMIES OF US DEMOCRATS!”

FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP STILL SPEAKS MORE LANGUAGES THAN BOTH OBAMAS COMBINED Continue reading

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Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

RANDOM FRIDAY WEIRDNESS III

THE ULTIMATE BAT-FLECK MOMENT Continue reading

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RANDOM FRIDAY WEIRDNESS II

I WANT TO SEE THIS ON THE BIG SCREEN! Continue reading

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SPOILER FOR THE NEXT SUPERMAN MOVIE

Balladeer’s Blog’s sources in the industry – and by the industry I mean the business – have provided me with this exclusive storyboard revealing the entire plot of the next Superman movie. Looks like DC’s record of big-screen inanity will hold up! 

Superman kill Prankster

 

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ASK BALLADEER: LUCY MAUD MONTGOMERY BOOKS

masc graveyard newQUESTION: What is the difference between Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlea?

ANSWER: I think Anne of Avonlea is the one where she fights the Russian boxer.

Got a question for Balladeer? Just let me know.

 

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ROBERT DE NIRO’S FAVORITE TRUMP LINKS

Robert de niroRobert De Niro, fresh from his gripping portrayal of a moronic anti-Trump fascist who hates the working class and the poor, stopped by to chat with Balladeer’s Blog. Bobby Milk told me he can’t believe people took him seriously. It was sheer Method Acting. He spent time with callous one-percenters and hate-filled celebrities to get the feel of the anti-Trump scumbags and turned in a very convincing performance.

De Niro told me he LOVES President Trump and agrees with me that Trump is the new FDR, the new Harry Truman and the new JFK. Here’s some interesting pro-Trump stories that Bobby recommends:

SHARYL ATTKISSON, the 21st Century Ida Tarbell and one of the few actual journalists left in America, took a break from the hard facts she usually serves up and presented this hilarious look at the recent misdeeds of the FBI (Fuggeda Bout Integrity). She calls it The FBI’s Fractured Fairy Tale and the piece deals with the FBI’s lies, mammoth abuses and violations in their pro-Hillary attack on Trump. Click HERE 

DAVID PRENTICE presents a look at President Trump’s successes in foreign affairs and has a good laugh at the expense of “Never Trump” Republican trash and at the expense of the drooling, senile Democrat leadership as well as their fallen, disgraced Hollow Man Barack Obama. Click HERE

FREEDOM OF INFORMATION ACT REQUESTS have finally pried loose even more internal items from the FBI, items linking Bill Clinton’s airport meeting with Obama’s Attorney General Loretta Lynch to plans to whitewash Hillary’s crimes. I despise Nixon as much as anybody but Hillary and Obama’s antics make Watergate look like a parking ticket. Click HERE Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion, Uncategorized

POPE FRANCIS: A MAN OF HIS WORD – THE WORST SUPERHERO MOVIE EVER

Pope FrancisPOPE FRANCIS: A MAN OF HIS WORD (2018) – The DC Comics movies just keep getting worse and worse. Some looser named Francis gets superpowers from washing the feet of poor people and little boys (creeper) and gets his own kind of Batcave called Vatican City.

Yeah, right, like with so many starving people in the world any kind of superhero would live in his own city with such opulence when they could give away 90% of their money to help the poor. It wasn’t realistic at all. Continue reading

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IT! THE TERROR FROM BEYOND SPACE (1958) ON THE TEXAS TWENTY-SEVEN FILM VAULT

It! The Terror From Beyond Space

It! The Terror From Beyond Space

IN THE MIDDLE 1980s/ WAY DOWN ON LEVEL 31 …

Before MST3K there was The Texas 27 Film Vault! Balladeer’s Blog continues its examination of this neglected cult show from the 1980s. Randy Clower and Richard Malmos, our machine-gun toting members of the Film Vault Corps (“the few, the proud, the sarcastic”) do their usual bit of showing and mocking an old serial then showing and mocking a bad movie.

Thanks to my interview with Randy Clower, the show’s co-creator and co-star and thanks to my research through VERY old newspapers plus emailed memories from other T27FV fans I’m taking a look at another episode of the show where an exact broadcast date can be determined.

ORIGINALLY BROADCAST: Saturday July 12th, 1986 from 10:30pm to 1:00am.

Atom Man vs SupermanSERIAL: Before the night’s movie Randy and Richard would often present old serials. In this episode of the show our “Film Vault Technicians First Class” showed an episode of the 1950 Columbia serial Atom Man vs Superman to be mockedKirk Alyn starred as Superman with Lyle Talbot as his archenemy Lex Luthor. Lex has his own secret identity in this serial – each episode he dons a lead mask and oversees the villainy as “Atom Man”.

This was one of the liveliest and most campily watchable serials of the 50s. Especially laughable are the bits when Superman “flies” – an effect achieved by switching from live footage of Kirk Alyn to INSERTED CARTOON FOOTAGE of Superman flying. Think of the ‘Toons in Roger Rabbit interacting with the live backgrounds and you have the idea.   

FILM VAULT LORE: This episode of The Texas 27 Film Vault was the first to come with a Viewer Discretion warning. Gore effects fans (And what T27FV fan WASN’T a gore effects fan?) were in Nirvana this night as Film Vault Corps member Joe “The Hypnotic Eye” Riley was given full reign for some of his most graphic effects work during the comedy sketches or Host Segments if you prefer. 

Howling!

Howling!

Direct from the Film Vault Corps Academy in Leadville, Colorado, the Academy’s Little Theater Group was touring Film Vaults across the country. Tonight they were performing on Level 31 of the Film Vault underneath Dallas, where the show was set. The Little Theater Group was reenacting scenes from famous alien monster movies and since It! The Terror From Beyond Space was a partial inspiration for the original Alien, the chest-burster scene was reenacted in darkly comic glory! (As if the chow in the Film Vault Commissary wasn’t unappetizing enough already!)

THE MOVIE: It! The Terror From Beyond Space is one of the consummate low-budget schlockers of the 1950s. It embodies the “so bad it’s good” aesthetic that so many Movie Host shows have always reveled in. In the far-off year 1973 (LMAO) a very fake-looking space-ship on an even more fake-looking matte-painting of a Martian landscape has come to rescue the sole survivor of the previous mission to the Red Planet. (So far it sounds almost like Queen of Blood, shown on T27FV in May of 1986 and reviewed previously) Continue reading

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Filed under Bad and weird movies, Forgotten Television, Movie Hosts, Uncategorized