Category Archives: opinion

March 14, 2018 · 8:25 pm

MOCK HEADLINES: MARCH 14th

hillary yellingMURKY MUELLER AND HIS FUNKY BUNCH OF HILLARY DONORS INSIST THEY NEED AN ADDITIONAL SIX YEARS TO DETERMINE WHAT ROLE IF ANY PRESIDENT TRUMP PLAYED IN STEPHEN HAWKING’S DEATH

HILLARY CLINTON, FAILED PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE, TELLS AUDIENCE IN INDIA SHE WOULD LOVE TO EXTERMINATE AMERICA’S “UNTOUCHABLES”

SPOILED IDIOT ROBERT DE NIRO STILL REFUSES TO DONATE MORE MONEY TO CHARITY; SAYS POOR PEOPLE VOTED FOR TRUMP SO TO HELL WITH THEM!

MURKY MUELLER AND HIS FUNKY BUNCH OF HILLARY DONORS INSIST THEY NEED AN ADDITIONAL TEN YEARS TO DETERMINE WHAT ROLE IF ANY WAKANDAN INTERFERENCE PLAYED IN THE 2016 ELECTION

TOOR-CHUR!

“TOOR-chur!”

RAND PAUL INSISTS GINA HASPEL ENJOYED TORTURE AND EROTICALLY TRAMPLING HIM DURING THEIR DATES TOGETHER, THEN ADDS “SHE’S BEEN NOMINATED FOR SOMETHING? … OH, SORRY”

JIMMY KIMMEL HOPES ALL WORKING CLASS PEOPLE WHOSE JOBS HAVE BEEN SAVED BY PRESIDENT TRUMP DIE OF CANCER #LOVEWINS

NANCY PELOSI AND BERNIE SANDERS BLAME PRESIDENT TRUMP FOR DIVIDING AMERICANS INTO “THESE THINGS CALLED BRACKETS”

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March 14, 2018 · 4:12 am

TRANSGRESS WITH ME: MARCH 14th

mascot new look donkey and elephant headsBalladeer’s Blog presents another edition of Transgress With Me.

*** AMERICA’S FACULTY LOUNGE FASCISTS WHO PRETEND TO BE “EDUCATORS” (LMAO) WIELD INSTITUTIONALIZED POWER, THEREFORE THEY NEED TO BE STOPPED FROM ABUSING THAT POWER BY BROWBEATING STUDENTS TO BELIEVE THEIR OUTDATED, CONFORMIST WORLDVIEW. 

*** IF STANDARD OIL WAS TOO BIG AND TOO POLITICALLY CORRUPTING THEN SO ARE FACEBOOK, GOOGLE AND TWITTER.

*** PEOPLE WHO ARE EASILY OFFENDED AND LOVE ANNOUNCING  THAT THEY ARE OFFENDED ARE THE MOST SIMPLE-MINDED FOOLS IN THE WORLD.

*** NEVER LISTEN TO PEOPLE WHO TRY TO DISSUADE YOU FROM READING ALL THE MATERIAL YOU WANT. THEY’RE IMPLYING YOU AREN’T CAPABLE OF SIFTING THROUGH THE INFORMATION YOURSELF.

*** PEOPLE WITH CLOSED MINDS MISTAKE SUCCESSFUL CENSORSHIP FOR “BEING IN THE RIGHT.” Continue reading →

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March 13, 2018 · 9:29 pm

EUROPEAN WOMEN SPEAKING OUT ABOUT THE MUSLIM RAPE EPIDEMIC

Be sure to watch before the corporate censors at YouTube take this video down like they have so many others when women try to express their pain over the Muslim RapeFugee epidemic in Europe. 

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March 12, 2018 · 9:00 am

OBAMA’S PRESIDENTIAL PORTRAIT: THE ARGUING CONTINUES

Urkel

UNITED STATES PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA

Wow, weeks later and people are still arguing about the recently-unveiled presidential portrait of the weak, inept and crooked little man named Barack Obama.

Personally, I think it looks GREAT! I mean look at it! (left) It perfectly captures Barry in every way, shape and form.

I know a lot of Obama devotees are angry about the way the little dolt is embarrassedly hiding his six fingered hand but that look on his face perfectly captures Barack.

I think the people who DO have a point are the ones who revealed that the hate-mongering hack who painted Obama’s portrait usually churns out paintings of people beheading other people. (I’m NOT kidding with that, by the way.)

Yes, Barack, lecture the world about hate while you have your portrait painted by a piece of garbage who often does Decapitation Porn.

Anyway, it’s no secret that Barack Obama was America’s worst president ever, narrowly beating out George W Bush, so here’s a look back at some of the things that Obama ridiculously tried to take credit for.

OBAMA: IT’S ALL PART OF HIS DEMAGOGUE FANTASY – Continue reading →

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March 12, 2018 · 12:43 am

TOMMY SHAW: WHAT IF?

Mascot FOUR original pics

Balladeer’s Blog

Balladeer’s Blog presents another edition of Give Them A Shoutout Before They’re Dead! Tommy Shaw’s solo career away from the band Styx has ignited countless passionate debates about his overall importance to the band and about Styx’s overall importance in rock and roll history.

But let’s put all that aside for now and give a shoutout to Tommy Shaw’s What If aka Remo’s Theme. This was, of course, the theme song for the movie Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins.

That movie kicked off the monumentally successful series of films about that American James Bond, the Destroyer himself: Remo Williams. Billions of dollars would follow as it seemed each pulse-pounding installment of Remo’s on-screen saga earned more money than the one that preceded it.

I’m being sarcastic, of course. Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins earned back about 14 million dollars off a FORTY MILLION DOLLAR BUDGET … and featured Joel Grey making Christopher Lee and Mickey Rooney feel MUCH better about their own renditions of Asian characters. 

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March 9, 2018 · 1:38 pm

MOCK HEADLINES: MARCH 9th

Trump is the new FDRWelcome back to Balladeer’s Blog! Recently even Democrat Chris Matthews acknowledged that our de facto Third Party President Donald Trump is looking out for “Forgotten American workers.” Meanwhile, President Trump’s opponents keep looking out for illegal immigrants and for Corporate Fascists like Mark “Skippy” Zuckerberg.

At any rate it seemed like a good time for another round of Mock Headlines:

(By the way, I’m neither a liberal nor a conservative. Want proof? CLICK HERE )

HOLLYWOOD INSISTS LOWER RATINGS MEAN THE OSCARS/WEINSTEIN AWARDS WERE MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN EVER BEFORE! 

MAN EMERGES FROM DEEP COMA; REMEMBERS HE IS ATTORNEY GENERAL OF THE UNITED STATES

JERRY BROWN: “THE DEAD VICTIMS OF ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT CRIMES HAVE NOT ISSUED ONE WORD OF COMPLAINT ABOUT THE OAKLAND MAYOR HELPING MURDERERS AND RAPISTS ESCAPE ARREST BY WARNING THEM ABOUT I.C.E. RAIDS”

BLOATED RICH PIG CELEBRITIES CONTINUE TO MISTAKENLY THINK THEY SPEAK FOR THE WORKING CLASS AND THE POOR

mascot new look donkey and elephant headsMEDIA FINALLY ADMITS “PRESIDENTIAL APPROVAL RATINGS” ARE A MEANINGLESS FARCE AS INACCURATE AS HOROSCOPES

DEMOCRAT DICK DURBIN AT A LOSS TO EXPLAIN JENNIFER LAWRENCE’S RECENT HATE-FILLED DIATRIBE AGAINST HIM

ADMITTED RAPIST KOBE BRYANT WINS AN OSCAR/WEINSTEIN AWARD AMID #METOO PREENING CEREMONIES

PRESIDENT TRUMP STILL HATED BY EVERY ENEMY OF THE WORKING CLASS AND THE POOR

REASONABLE PEOPLE AGREE: WATCHING ANY AWARDS SHOW IS EVEN WORSE THAN GOING TO CHURCH

AWARDS SHOWS TO BE RE-LABELED “SHOW TRIALS IN WHICH THE VIEWERS ARE ASSUMED GUILTY OF EVERYTHING THE HOSTS HAVE DONE AND ARE TO BE LECTURED BY RICH PIG DEMOCRATS” 

Continue reading →

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March 7, 2018 · 6:34 pm

NON-DILLINGER: THE TRI-STATE TERROR

FOR PART ONE CLICK HERE 

Tri-State TerrorTHE TRI-STATE TERROR

Real Name: Wilbur Underhill, Jr

Birth – Death: March 16th, 1901 – January 6th, 1934

Lore: Underhill is so overlooked today there are times when it seems like there IS no lore about him. That is good, actually, since rabid criminals like this don’t deserve the romanticized treatment they usually get.

Criminal Career: In 1918 Underhill was convicted of burgling the home of his family’s next-door neighbor in Joplin, MO and was sent to prison. He was released in 1922 and began robbing necking couples who were parked in cars, making him one of many “Lover’s Lane Bandits” across the country.  

Underhill, still just a One State Terror at this point, was convicted of armed robbery after police decoys caught him one night in 1923 pulling off a Lover’s Lane holdup. Wilbur was sentenced to five years but was released on parole in 1926. He celebrated Christmas of 1926 by robbing an Oklahoma drug store with “Skeet” Akins and killing a 19 year old customer in the process. Continue reading →

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March 7, 2018 · 9:47 am

JIMMY KIMMEL: THE BALLADEER’S BLOG INTERVIEW

Jimmy Kimmell fat pigJimmy Kimmel, known as “that guy from The Man Show” and as “the wimp people love to hate” has been begging me to interview him for years now. I kept putting him off, given his reputation for grotesque body odor.

Finally I decided I could end the annoyance once and for all with a wager. I bet Kimmel that he couldn’t POSSIBLY get even lower ratings for the Harvey Weinstein Awards than the pathetic dweeb who hosted them last year. If he did, I would interview him. If not, I never had to interview him. Jimmy jumped at the bet.

Turns out he was the repugnant douchebag who hosted them last year! Needless to say, since garbage like Kimmel reeks more and more the longer it sits and festers he got much, much MUCH lower ratings than the previous year.

Anyway, I don’t welch on bets (which I understand is what Jimmy Kimmel’s mother said to the three-time animal-rapist who knocked her up with Jimmy in the first place) so I agreed to finally interview Kimmel to swat him away once and for all. So, let’s deal with this hack who cries himself to sleep every night over the fact that he’ll never be as daring, funny and iconoclastic as Steven Crowder. 

BY THE WAY, THE REPULSIVE JIMMY KIMMEL STILL REFUSES TO DONATE MORE MONEY TO CHARITY. WHAT A GREEDY SCUMBAG.

Balladeer’s Blog: So, Jimmy, looks like you did the seeming impossible and got even LOWER ratings than last year for your performance at this year’s presentation of Rapists and Child Molestors Against Trump.

Jimmy Kimmel: Yeah. I hate that Trump guy. He got all those beautiful women all his life and the only woman-ish thing I’ve ever managed to score with is that horse-faced Sarah Silverman. Every day and night I think about that and that’s what fuels my monomaniacal hatred of the Donald.  

BB: It’s possible if you showered every now and then or didn’t look so creepy all the time with that half-assed attempt at a beard you might be able to attract an acceptable looking woman.

JK: Personal hygiene is for the in-bred morons who voted for Trump. They’re all so stupid it’s like, what a bunch of stupid-headed stupid heads. I used to BEG Trump to fix me up with women but he always refused.

BB: Do you think your bizarre fixation on President Trump is healthy?

JK: Hell, yeah! In the entertainment industry today even somebody as untalented and unappealing as I am can make okay bucks as long as I bash Trump. It’s like, NONE of the celebrities that I pay to talk to me can believe that American scumbags voted for this guy. Continue reading →

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March 7, 2018 · 3:05 am

SMITHEREENS: BEHIND THE WALL OF SLEEP

Balladeer’s Blog strikes again, giving a shoutout to a group of musicians before they’re ALL dead. This shoutout goes to the Smithereens and their song Behind the Wall of Sleep:

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March 6, 2018 · 7:39 pm

NON-DILLINGER: QUICK TAKES ON OTHER GANGSTERS OF HIS ERA

With John Dillinger folklore given WAY too much attention, Balladeer’s Blog takes a look at some of the legends versus the ugly reality regarding some of his contemporary gangsters. 

Two Gun Crowley biggerTWO-GUN CROWLEY

Real Name: Francis Crowley

Birth – Death: October 31st, 1912 – January 21st, 1932

Lore: Crowley was supposedly born out of wedlock to a German-American woman and a New York police officer who refused to marry Crowley’s mother. This supposedly accounts for his intense hatred of the police.

Reality: Such shallow, Pulp Magazine thinking doesn’t seem likely. The young man was adopted by a family in which Francis grew up alongside a cop-killing older brother named John Crowley. John himself would be killed in a battle with police.

This background seems a more likely explanation for Francis’ issues than some mythical hatred of an unknown father who abandoned him and his mother. 

Two Gun Crowley in bedCriminal Career: By age 19, Crowley had a reputation as a competent holdup man and hit & run armed robber who never slipped up enough for a conviction. He might have escaped suspicion entirely if not for his excessively belligerent attitude when questioned by authorities.     

On February 21st, 1931 Crowley, packing the omnipresent pair of hand-guns that earned him his nickname, crashed an American Legion dance in the Bronx. Two-Gun was accompanied by a pair of male accomplices, one of whom was believed to be frequent associate Rudolph “Fats” Durringer.

When the Legionnaires attempted to expel the uninvited trio Crowley whipped out his pair of firearms and opened fire, wounding at least two innocent men before fleeing. With charges of attempted murder now hanging over his head, Two-Gun was about to enter the busiest period of his career. Continue reading →

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