Category Archives: humor

TOP ODDLY-NAMED BANDS FROM THE PAST

mascot chair and bottle picIf I ever formed a rock band of my own I would, needless to say, base the name on something from Bad Movie Lore. Something like Renegade Belgian Cardinals – based on a line of dialogue from the Serial-Killer Priest flick The Confessional.

Putting that aside here’s a quick Balladeer’s Blog list of Oddly-Named Bands of the Past. It’s strictly for people who sometimes wake up at 3am and wonder if Gene was only pretending to love Jezebel.

Trash Can SinatrasTHE TRASH CAN SINATRAS

When you hear the name Sinatra you immediately think of … Scotland? Well, no you don’t, but that’s where this band hailed from.

Used in a Sentence: “The Trash Can Sinatras is a hell of a mean-spirited way of referring to Nancy and Tina!”

FRONT 242

For decades this band was known as THE influence in Belgian Industrial Rock, complete with all the massive cultural firepower that implies. (Oh, sure, Balladeer, pick on the Belgians!) Continue reading

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BEST OF BIDEN GOOFS AND GAFFES

Biden art of the feelBIDEN HAS KIDS IN CAGES (like during Obama’s and Trump’s administrations). Oh, that’s right, anti-Trump fascists never really cared about kids being in cages, they just wanted to use those kids as a political stick to attack Trump with. Now those hypocrites are back to not even pretending to care about such things. Anti-Trumpers apparently won’t complain about Joe Biden’s kids in cages.

Already Articles of Impeachment have been filed against Biden, and the YT video of his make-believe “inauguration” has THIRTY-NINE THOUSAND DOWN-VOTES and only four thousand up-votes. Hilarious!

Well, as Senile Joe Biden launched his war on the working class by destroying thousands of jobs already and has alienated multiple U.S. allies  while tear-gassing peaceful protesters here’s a reminder of what a supreme dolt the Pretender is: 

The Best of Biden Infomercial – YouTube

 

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

MOTHER JONES: PRESIDENT TRUMP IS BRUBAKER AND OTHER HEROES

mother-jonesI consider President Trump the best president for the working class and the poor during my lifetime. Here’s a take from a true working class heroine. Mary Harris Jones, the legendary labor organizer from the 1890s onward, also known as “the Miner’s Angel” and “Mother Jones,” spoke to Balladeer’s Blog yet again, despite being dead since 1930. 

BALLADEER’S BLOG: Well, hello again! I always enjoy our talks.  

MOTHER JONES: I’m glad to hear it, sonny! I continue to be very impressed with the way President Trump – the new FDR and the new Harry Truman – fought with the same kind of plutocratic oppressors I always fought.

Trump is SerpicoBB: I admit the stench from Washington, DC is amazing. “Draining the Swamp” as it were, demonstrated the depth of corruption and outright criminal activity the Democrats and Republicans are responsible for. It took a de facto Third Party President like Trump to peel back the curtain.

MJ: You know it, young man! No Democrat or Republican would have rocked the boat like this! I think President Trump is like many heroes in one.

BB: It will be interesting to hear the kinds of comparisons you make regarding all this, but –

MJ: Yes, yes, I know you like to talk, but I want you to just listen for awhile.

BB: Okay.

Franklin RooseveltMJ: First off, President Trump is like Franklin Delano Roosevelt. FDR was looking out for the working class and the poor, so rich fat cat scum tried to destroy him like they’re doing with Donald Trump. They even tried the noted Businessman’s Coup plot against FDR.

Right now the way that rich pig Big Tech fascists are behaving is disgusting.   

SECOND, President Trump is like Harry S Truman. Harry gave ’em Hell every chance he could and weak-kneed sissy boys like today’s Mitt Romney and Mitch McConnell clutched their pearls and reached for the smelling salts. Trump shocks more Republican and Democrat trash in one week than good old Harry did in his entire presidency!  

BrubakerTHIRD, President Trump is like that Robert Redford fella when he played Brubaker! Like Trump, Brubaker was trying to clean out a virtual sewer of corrupt officialdom. Even if the scumbags fighting Trump oust him, it will be like the ending of Brubaker, when the prisoners – or American citizens in Trump’s case – gathered around to pay him respect.

The prisoners giving the departing Brubaker a slow clap of good bye was an acknowledgement that the man had tried to help them and to fight the crooked politicians and rich pigs abusing them. President Trump’s departure might be SYMBOLICALLY like that if the Establishment criminals succeed in driving him from office.

BB: That’s a very profound comparison. Even if – like Brubaker – President Trump’s bottom line accomplishment is to raise awareness in all of us about the NEED to fight the white collar criminals who have hijacked our political system, there is a certain dignity in that. A dignity that people like Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden could never understand.  

MJ: Good lad, Balladeer, but I have plenty more heroes to compare with President Trump, so pipe down.  Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

DEMOCRAT SLOGANS: YESTERDAY’S JOKES ARE TODAY’S REALITY

democrat republican or awakeRemember when the following Democrat slogans were intended by me as humor? Well, the Democrats are proving they’re worse than any of us imagined. WE NEED THIRD PARTIES!

DEMOCRATS: YOU PEASANTS ARE ONLY AS FREE AS THE MOST INTOLERANT DEMOCRAT LETS YOU BE!

DEMOCRATS: NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF SIMPLE-MINDED FASCISTS IN LARGE NUMBERS!

DEMOCRATS: THIS DREADFUL DONALD TRUMP PERSON HAS FILLED THE WORKING CLASS RABBLE WITH THOUGHTS ABOVE THEIR STATION IN LIFE!

DEMOCRATS: WE NEED TO SAVAGELY BEAT ELDERLY AND HANDICAPPED TRUMP SUPPORTERS BECAUSE THEIR MERE EXISTENCE MAKES US FEEL “UNSAFE.”

DEMOCRATS: THE CAMPAIGN NEVER ENDS … AND NEITHER WILL OUR DISCOVERY OF BOXES FULL OF “UNCOUNTED” VOTES! 

DEMOCRATS: ALL OF OUR OPINIONS SHOULD CARRY THE FORCE OF LAW!

DEMOCRATS: WE OVERUSED THE WORD “RACIST” TO THE POINT OF MEANINGLESSNESS. NOW WE’RE DOING THE SAME WITH “WHITE SUPREMACIST.”

DEMOCRATS: A LOYALTY OATH TO OUR PARTY SHOULD BE NECESSARY TO QUALIFY FOR HEALTH CARE.

DEMOCRATS: WE ARE THE FASCISTS WE’VE BEEN WAITING FOR!

DEMOCRATS: IF THE COUNTRY IS SPLIT ALMOST 50-50 THAT MEANS THAT ONLY THE PEOPLE WHO DISAGREE WITH US ARE BEING “DIVISIVE” … NEVER US!

DEMOCRATS: WE RUINED LIBERALISM! WE RUINED THE EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM! WE RUINED THE COURT SYSTEM AND UNDERMINED THE ELECTORAL PROCESS ITSELF! PLEASE DON’T STOP US NOW!

DEMOCRATS: IT’S EASIER TO JUST CONSTANTLY TELL EVERYONE HOW COMPASSIONATE AND TOLERANT YOU THINK YOU ARE THAN IT IS TO ACTUALLY BE COMPASSIONATE AND TOLERANT!

ONLY THOSE PEOPLE OF COLOR WHO AGREE WITH US WHITE DEMOCRATS ARE AUTHENTIC. THE REST MUST BE HOUNDED FROM PUBLIC LIFE OR RECANT.

DEMOCRATS: FILING COMPLAINTS ABOUT PEOPLE WHO SAY SOMETHING WE DISAGREE WITH IS THE HIGHEST FORM OF ACTIVISM!

Continue reading

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FIFTEEN MORE FAILED PREDICTIONS

mascot sword and gun pic

BALLADEER’S BLOG

Balladeer’s Blog has previously examined failed predictions on the part of “psychics,” religious figures and more. This time around here is a list of failed predictions from another belief system with its own form of apocalyptic eschatology.

*** By the year 2000 New York City will be completely submerged by rising sea levels. The sources of that prediction are legion. 

*** By the year 2020 there will be no more snow on Mount Kilimanjaro because of climate change. That was from Al Gore’s Reefer Madness-style Dire Warning flick An Inconvenient Truth plus the Vancouver Sun and others. 

*** In 2004 the Guardian predicted that nuclear and conventional wars would break out by 2020 because of scarce resources. They also predicted that multiple European cities would be under water by 2020. 

*** In 2009, authorities from the U.S. Geological Survey predicted that by 2020 Montana’s Glacier National Park would have no more glaciers. Last year a scramble began to push that date further ahead since obviously 2020 was going to come and go without that prediction coming true. Continue reading

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BLACKADDER’S CHRISTMAS CAROL (1988)

blackadder's christmas carolBLACKADDER’S CHRISTMAS CAROL (1988) – My 11th Annual Christmas Carol-A-Thon continues here at Balladeer’s Blog! Long-time readers know what a big fan I am of Rowan Atkinson’s work – especially his Blackadder programs. Hell, I’m even an enormous fan of his more serious work in Full Throttle. And I never tire of telling anyone who will listen that I think he’d make a perfect Dikaiopolis in Aristophanes’ comedy The Acharnians

As to why it took me so long to finally get around to reviewing Blackadder’s Christmas Carol, it’s the same reason that applied to the George C Scott version: I wanted to handle some of the more obscure Carols before hitting the well-known ones.

This Christmas Special is set in Victorian England with Atkinson starring as Ebenezer Blackadder, owner of a moustache shop. Tony Robinson is on hand as yet another member of the Baldrick family line.

In typically perverse Blackadder fashion the storyline reverses the usual sequence of events. Ebenezer starts out as a kind-hearted and generous soul but soon the Christmas Spirit (Robbie Coltrane) shows him visions of Blackadders Past, Present and Yet-to-Come.     Continue reading

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TRUMP: A POLITICAL JANUS LIKE THEODORE ROOSEVELT

puck joseph keppler

Here at Balladeer’s Blog I’ve long made clear my fascination with the political humor magazine Puck (1871-1918). Puck political cartoons – especially from the covers – are still much sought-after and I own a few myself.

The magazine started out as a German language publication targeted at new arrivals from Europe and the cartoons stood out early on. There is no language barrier to satirical political cartoons, so even Americans who spoke no German could follow the editorial drift of those humorous illustrations. In 1877 Puck began publishing both English AND German language editions.

Here’s a cartoon from its pro-Theodore Roosevelt heyday depicting the wildly different opinions of the bombastic, “rock the boat of political corruption” Teddy Roosevelt. President Trump is a lot like T.R. and his cousin F.D.R. – hated by corrupt career politicians but loved by the working class and the poor. Like Trump, Theodore Roosevelt was at odds with the loathsome Republican Party establishment – think of vermin like Mitt Romney and the Bush Family.   

theodore roosevelt like donald trump

Finally the paper shortage during World War One brought about the end of this iconoclastic magazine.

Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion, Puck Magazine

FRIDAY THE 13th PART 3D (1982): ON THE TEXAS TWENTY-SEVEN FILM VAULT

Friday the 13th Part 3DBefore MST3K there was … The Texas 27 Film Vault! In the middle 1980s, way down on Level 31 Randy Clower and Richard Malmos, machine-gun toting Film Vault Technicians First Class hosted this neglected cult show. 

ORIGINAL BROADCAST DATE: Saturday February 14th, 1987 from 10:30pm to 1:00am. 

SERIAL: None. The movie, Film Vault Corps comedy sketches and commercials filled up the entire two and a half hours this time.

FILM VAULT LORE: This episode marked the second time The Texas 27 Film Vault came with a warning about violent content. It was also at least the second time they riffed on a movie that was originally in 3-D. Randy and Richard did various jokes about wearing 3-D glasses and 3-D effects coming out of the screen at them as they watched the movie.

Randy and Richard firing their machine guns at giant rats, cellumites and other subterranean creatures.

Randy and Richard firing their machine guns on the T27FV 3D poster.

When you throw in the previous year’s “Mock 3D” interview with Ben Johnson and the 1987 release of The Texas 27 Film Vault‘s official 3-D poster you could say Randy, Richard, Ken “Tex” Miller, Joe Riley and Laurie Savino had a definite fondness for taking shots at the whole 3-D concept.  

 FOR A LOOK AT THE 3-D TEXAS 27 FILM VAULT POSTER (courtesy of Randy Clower) –https://glitternight.com/2013/03/18/movie-hosts-the-texas-27-film-vault-poster/  

THE MOVIE: Friday the 13th Part 3-D was the most notoriously lame sequel in the Friday the 13th film series during the 1980s. Not only was it part of the laughable 1980s attempt to revive the 3-D craze of the 1950s but it’s also infamous for its DISCO VERSION of the iconic Friday the 13th theme. However it’s essential viewing for horror fans because it was the first time Jason Voorhees put on the hockey mask that is so closely associated with the character.    Continue reading

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Filed under Bad and weird movies, humor, Movie Hosts

TOP FIVE MARX BROTHERS MOVIES

Balladeer’s Blog’s usual “waiting for results to something” mode is to watch a comedy marathon. Let’s go for a vintage feel this time with a look at my Top Five Marx Brothers Movies.

cocoanuts5. THE COCOANUTS (1929) – The Plot (As if it mattered) – A hotel manager (Groucho) plots a real estate swindle during the Florida land boom while a jewel theft on the premises attracts unwanted attention from the law. Chico and Harpo sow all manner of confusion while Margaret Dumont and Zeppo are on hand in their familiar and comfortable straight roles.

Comment: Already I can hear the screams from Marx Brothers fans. How DARE I relegate to FIFTH place a movie based on the brothers’ Broadway hit written by THE George S Kaufman and Morrie Ryskind! 

Easy. No matter how good the play was The Cocoanuts movie suffers from too many of the typical weaknesses of early talkies. The tinny sound, plus the way the maps, telegrams and newspapers handled by the characters are obviously water-logged to keep the crackling from being picked up on the late 1920s sound equipment.

mascot sword and gun pic

BALLADEER’S BLOG

And most importantly the inclusion of pointless music and dance numbers in the “hey, we have sound now, so let’s REALLY show it off” spirit of early talkies. The hopelessly dull romantic couple slow things down, too.

I find myself fast-forwarding through this flick more than any other Marx Brothers movie. Even The Big Store. We need a Fan Edit of this flick including ONLY the comedy routines, which I agree are all classics. “Did anyone ever tell you you look like the Prince of Wales?” Continue reading

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HILARIOUS PARODY AD FOR THE UNHINGED DEMOCRATS

We need Third Parties. Election day is here but the increasingly fascistic Democrats – who still haven’t come to grips with their 2016 loss – have vowed to litigate the election rather than leave it to the voters, so who knows when we’ll have a final result. For right now here is a hilarious parody ad pointing out what the Democrats are REALLY all about in 2020. 

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion