Author Archives: balladeer

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About balladeer

I am passionately interested in college sports, ancient Greek comedies, bad/weird movies, mythology, the American Revolution, Puck Magazine, World War I, U.S. Presidential history, silent movies, the English Civil War, epic, lyric and comic poetry, U.S. Supreme Court history, the Revolutions of 1848, the Philippine War and old pulp heroes like The Moon Man, Pilot G8, Silver John and The Rio Kid.

JUST ONE WEEK TIL COLLEGE FOOTBALL SEASON KICKS OFF!

Yes, the divisions of college football covered here at Balladeer’s Blog get started earlier than the others. Next Thursday the 24th will be the kickoff for the 2017 season.

AUGUST 24th’s GAMES IN THE NAIA:

Dickinson State Blue Hawks helmet NEWThe 15th ranked DICKINSON STATE BLUE HAWKS will host their Frontier Conference rivals the ROCKY MOUNTAIN COLLEGE BATTLIN’ BEARS. 

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Evangel CrusadersThe EVANGEL UNIVERSITY CRUSADERS take it on the road against the number 9 team in the nation – the GRAND VIEW UNIVERSITY VIKINGS.  

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Warner Memorial U Royals helmetThe WARNER UNIVERSITY ROYALS will likewise play Road Warriors as they travel to take on the UNIVERSITY OF THE CUMBERLANDS PATRIOTS. 

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Dakota Wesleyan Tigers helmet NEWMeanwhile THE AG BOWL will pit the number 17 DAKOTA WESLEYAN UNIVERSITY TIGERS against the DAKOTA STATE TROJANS in a North Star Athletic Association matchup.

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Pikeville BearsAnd the UNIVERSITY OF PIKEVILLE BEARS will be on the road to take on their familiar foes the CAMPBELLSVILLE UNIVERSITY TIGERS.

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AUGUST 24th’s GAMES IN THE NJCAA:

garden-city-broncbusters-helmet-newThe Defending Champions – the GARDEN CITY COLLEGE BRONCBUSTERS – open the season hosting the ELLSWORTH COLLEGE PANTHERS.  

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Highland ScottiesThe HIGHLAND COLLEGE SCOTTIES, meanwhile, will travel to face the DODGE CITY COLLEGE CONQUISTADORS to begin their 2017 campaign. 

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THE STOLEN PLANET (1906): ANCIENT SCIENCE FICTION

Stolen PlanetTHE STOLEN PLANET (1906) – Written by John Mastin. Jervis Meredith, a wealthy young British man and his equally wealthy friend Fraser Burnley are so brilliant they invent anti-gravity. Next the young tycoons have a spaceship built so they  can use their anti-gravity device to tour outer space.

The battleship-sized craft is named The Regina and combines propellers with Meredith and Burnley’s anti-gravity invention. The friends set off with a ten-man crew and – oddly enough – they are so paranoid about people stealing their secrets they have rigged an elaborate bugging system throughout the Regina so they can know what the crew members talk about.

The explorers make the eccentric decision to explore the region around Sirius first, rather than our own solar system. Enroute the Regina accidentally pulls an uncharted planet out of its orbit (?) and causes it to collide with another uncharted planet. This collision causes a new sun to be born. (Regular readers of Balladeer’s Blog will remember that this was apparently a big idea for a time since a lot of these old stories feature suns forming from colliding planets.)

Eventually our heroes decide to explore some planets on their way to the star Sirius. On the first planet they visit the explorers find enormous ruins obviously built by a gigantic race that is now extinct. The structures were beautiful from what can be made out and are made of materials unknown on Earth.

Jervis and Fraser – British to the core – “annex” the planet in the name of the King of England. They name the world Silens and soon find the atmosphere to be so radioactive they must leave before they suffer permanent damage.

Next the Regina survives an encounter with a comet, then lands on another planet. This one is many times the size of Earth and with gravity thousands of times greater. All the animals of this planet (Inimicus Ingens) are gigantic compared to Earth animals. Even germs are so large they are visible to the naked eye.

The explorers are captured by the world’s enormous humanoids but manage to escape the beings with a spunky alien sea creature as their new mascot. A guided missile that the aliens shoot at the Regina fails to hit it. Continue reading

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DEMOCRATS: THE SMIRKING JACKASSES OF LIFE

Democrats don't control meBalladeer’s Blog would be just fine if both the Democrats’ and Republicans’ political parties – or the “Royal Houses” as I call them – were destroyed. Both parties are in the pocket of one percenters and bloated rich pigs. This is why the bought-and-paid-for office-holders from both parties are fighting President Donald Trump so fiercely. He’s not a career politician so he is under attack by the same forces that Franklin Roosevelt had to defy.

Under Obama the Democrats lost literally around 1,100 political seats on the federal and state levels. Those seats were all UNEARNED by the Republican Party, which is led by garbage like Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell. People’s disgust with RepubCorp and its owners has become slightly less than it is with the Democrats and their owners so they’ve been voting for Republicans just to keep more Democrats out.

Unfortunately, Republicans like Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell mistakenly think the voters are enamored with the Republican Party’s perpetual air of confusion and incompetence. Republican and Democrat career politicians are nothing but white collar criminals. More and more of us are turning away from both Parties.

Which brings us back to why Democrats are the slimiest filth of the moment and have driven away so many of us:

liberals and conservativesI often get emails and comments that say things like: “Given the type of things you write about you’re clearly not a Conservative so why do you bash Liberals so much?” Or even: “What makes American Democrats such unbearable jackasses?”

Let me provide one small example that is a microcosm of the way American Liberal Democrats have become nothing but smirking jackasses who don’t know nearly as much as they think they do.

Not so long ago, one of America’s female Conservatives (which one is not important to this example) was speaking at a Tea Party event and closed by exhorting her audience to “Party like it’s 1773.”

American Liberals all across the media and the internet had a field day ridiculing the woman for saying that. In their usual prickish, pompous manner American Liberals assumed the woman had meant to say 1776, which was the year the Declaration of Independence was signed. Liberal asses repeated their snobbish “Conservatives are stupid” meme over and over again because of this incident.

The symbol of the nonexistent Balladeer Political Party

The symbol of the nonexistent Balladeer Political Party

Actually since the Boston Tea Party, the event the Tea Party takes its name from, happened in 1773 – NOT 1776 – the Conservative Woman had the right year. That simple fact was lost and/or ignored in the slew of jokes about how “historically illiterate” Conservatives supposedly are for defending the woman. Talk shows, news shows, internet humor outlets all ran with the usual “Conservatives are morons” sentiment for several days.  

Let me emphasize this for overseas readers: the people who had the historical reference RIGHT became national laughingstocks and were being ridiculed as “stupid” by the people who were WRONG about the historical reference. Corrections were never run or aired by any of the offending outlets. The historical fact was lost in the rush to ridicule and all the general public remembered was that, supposedly, once again Conservatives had revealed how “stupid” they are. Continue reading

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DEMOI (C 417 B.C.) – ANCIENT GREEK COMEDY

FOR BACKGROUND INFORMATION IF YOU MISSED MY FIRST POST ON ANCIENT GREEK COMEDIES CLICK HERE: https://glitternight.com/2011/09/22/at-long-last-my-ancient-greek-comedy-posts-begin/

map of greeceAs promised this time around I’ll depart from the works of Aristophanes to examine the fragmentary remains of a work by another genius of Ancient Greek Comedy, in this case Eupolis. 

Eupolis was part of the Big Three of Ancient Greek Comedy (henceforth AGC) along with Aristophanes and Cratinus. Some people confuse Eupolis with the later Greek comedian Eubulus but manage to lead fairly normal lives just the same. (rimshot)

THE PREMISE

Demoi is considered to be Eupolis’ greatest political satire. The premise is simplicity itself. An Athenian named Pyronides, like many of his fellow citizens, is disgusted with the pettiness, corruption and incompetence of the current crop of political and military leaders in the great city-state. Thus motivated, Pyronides retrieves four of the greatest figures of Athens’ storied past from the Netherworld and brings them back with him so they may set things right.

THE PLAY

In my introductory post about AGC (see above) I illustrated the similar problems faced by the Athenians’ ancient experiment in popular rule and our own often teetering enterprise. Corruption, partisanship and a tendency to subordinate the general good in the name of personal gain  were as rampant then as now.

As all societies are prone to do, the Athenians romanticised the leaders of the past, believing them to be of a heroic stature lacking in the current crop of Athenian politicians and generals. Continue reading

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CHINESE MYTHS: THE MOON GODDESS CHANG-O AND YI, THE DIVINE ARCHER

Yi the Divine Archer

Yi the Divine Archer

On August 15th the Chinese people offered up gifts to Chang-O, their moon goddess. (Technically they did it in the middle of the 8th Lunar Month of the year but in the modern day August 15th is the substitute date.)

Balladeer’s Blog presents the story of Chang-O, her husband Yi the Divine Archer, and the origin of that ritual.

I.WHAT’S UP WITH YI?  – Yi the Divine Archer from Chinese mythology deserves to be remembered in one breath with some of the other great heroes and monster slayers from belief systems around the world. Most people are only familiar with his feat of shooting down multiple suns that appeared in the sky one day, but this article will provide a light- hearted look at all of his fantastic adventures. 

Yi is Continue reading

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DEMOCRAT ATROCITY ROUNDUP: AUGUST 14th

Democrat slogan

“OPPRESSING PEOPLE WHILE POSING AS THE OPPRESSED”

The hypocritical Democrats – who have driven so many of us from the party with their fascism – love to COMMIT the atrocities that they then go on to blame THE REST OF US FOR! They love to act like THEY can just move on and forget their role in slavery, Japanese internment, the Trail of Tears and so much else, but the rest of the country bears some absurd collective guilt over those things for the rest of eternity.

Hatred and violence are in the DNA of the Democrats. They seem anxious to start another Civil War like when they wanted to keep their slaves.

Gulf of TonkinGULF OF TONKIN: If there’s one thing that Democrats love to lecture the rest of us about it’s the Vietnam War. As with so many other things the Democrats love to blame on everyone else it was caused by a DEMOCRAT – President Lyndon Johnson’s administration played the Big Lie game over the Gulf of Tonkin Incident.

More like the Gulf of Tonkin Fabrication, but this is so typical of the Democrats. They CAUSE something that costs countless lives, then try to act like they were the ones AGAINST the tragedy in the first place. (Like their destruction of healthcare under Obama and the way they now act like all the death and suffering caused by the Obamacare debacle should be thrown down the Memory Hole.)

Regarding Vietnam: All the lives lost, all the pain and suffering, the Agent Orange atrocity and more – it can ALL be laid at the Democrats’ door since they love assessing blame. Remember that the next time Democrats try lecturing the rest of us about this war.   Continue reading

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Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

MOONA LISA PICTURES COURTESY OF JOHN L.

Moona Lisa with JohnVery special thanks to reader John L. for providing Balladeer’s Blog with some new photos of Moona Lisa, one of the Movie Hostesses covered here.

I will add them to the Moona Lisa article I did in 2011 as well, but first here they are for all of us fans of Movie Host Shows to appreciate. John L himself sets the scene:

“They are from 1970 or 1971. A friend and I drove to the local KOGO TV station in San Diego, just off the 94 freeway, walked in and told the receptionist we were fans of Moona and asked if we could meet her. The next thing you know, a very pleasant and gracious Lisa Clark (in character), greeted us, gave us a tour of the studio and her Moon Base set, gave us an autograph and posed for pictures.”

Moona Lisa with skull

Moona Lisa (Lisa Clark) getting ready to watch and comment on the night’s movie double feature from her “private moon base.” Note the Earth below out the window.

Moona Lisa in stairwell

Moona Lisa in the stairwell leading to her set. Continue reading

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EX-MUSLIM ATHEIST FAISAL SAEED AL-MUTAR WITH ANOTHER QUOTE

Atheist in Muslim country

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August 13, 2017 · 11:55 pm

MANTIS 28: CELESTIAL MADONNA EXPLANATIONS AND THE HOODED ONE’s IDENTITY

FOR PART 1 OF BALLADEER’S BLOG’S EXAMINATION OF MARVEL’S SUPERHEROINE MANTIS CLICK HERE 

Avengers 133 Yesterday and BeyondTHE AVENGERS Volume 1, Number 133 ( March 1975)  Yesterday and Beyond 

Avengers Roster: Thor (Donald Blake, MD), Iron Man (Tony Stark), The Scarlet Witch (Wanda Frank), Hawkeye (Clint Barton), The Vision (not applicable), MANTIS (Mantis Brandt) and Moon Dragon (Heather Douglas) 

Synopsis: We start out at Avengers Mansion, where the Scarlet Witch and the sorceress Agatha Harkness are still locked away in the room which Agatha has sealed off from the rest of the world. Miss Harkness continues to tutor the Scarlet Witch in the more effective use of her mutant hex powers.  

The throngs of onlookers continue surrounding Avengers Mansion for blocks because of the Madonna Star, which still burns brightly over the mansion. There is still a lot of public speculation that the artificial satellite heralds the end of the world. Whispers about Kang the Conqueror’s reference to a “Celestial Madonna” have even the least religious-minded people apprehensive.

Back in the room where Agatha is tutoring the Scarlet Witch, Wanda – showing no sign or memory of the possessed manner in which she chased away the butler Jarvis in our previous installment – prepares to show more of what she’s learned.

Scarlet Witch and Agatha 133Focusing all her concentration, she manages to get a SPECIFIC, CONTROLLED result from her hex-sphere instead of just unleashing random chaos and destruction. That result: animating a nearby chair and causing it to come to life and begin walking around.

Wanda is so excited and proud that she momentarily loses control of the walking chair, Fantasia-style, so Agatha Harkness intervenes, casting a spell that returns the chair to its normal, inanimate state.

The Scarlet Witch tells Miss Harkness that she’d love to show her fellow Avengers her refined abilities and can’t wait for them to return from Vietnam, where they were researching Mantis’ past. Agatha calmly informs Wanda that the Avengers are no longer in Vietnam, and in fact, are no longer on the Earth. 

Of course, we know Agatha is referring to the very public disappearance of the Avengers when Kang teleported them to Limbo to fight his Legion of the Unliving in Kang’s latest attempt to seize the Celestial Madonna. That attempt was thwarted thanks to help from Immortus, who, like Rama Tut II, was revealed as ANOTHER of Kang’s future selves. (Think of them as different “regenerations” of the same man like in Dr Who.)

We WILL learn how Rama Tut II went on to become Immortus before all this is through, but for right now, Immortus has reassembled the Avengers in his throne-room. Limbo itself exists outside of the time-stream but Immortus has allowed Thor, Iron Man, Hawkeye, the Vision and Mantis to sleep since their minds require it.

Refreshed (and presumably fed) the Avengers gather around as Immortus begins to make good on his promise to show the Vision and his past android self – the Original Human (really android) Torch – how their fates intertwined. Immortus also promised to provide Mantis and her fellow Avengers the truth about the Celestial Madonna.  

Immortus already sent the Original Human Torch back in time and now sends the Vision back the same way – clutching a Synchro-Staff , a baton-shaped staff that simultaneously transports the Vision through time as an observer AND provides him with narration in a robotic female voice like Siri.

Immortus gives Thor a Synchro-StaffImmortus says that the Vision must travel alone since his secrets are far too recent. Mantis, Thor, Iron Man and Hawkeye can travel together with a Synchro-Staff of their own because the secrets of the Celestial Madonna began several millennia ago.

In an irresistible character bit from Hawkeye, after Immortus tells Thor to grasp the staff the archer says “I tried grasping the staff at the Playboy Club once …” But Immortus teleports the foursome away before we readers can catch the presumably dirty completion of the remark. Continue reading

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THE VELVET UNDERGROUND: HEROIN

Velvet UndergroundThis latest installment of “Give them a shoutout before they’re dead” needs to have its title adjusted to “Give them a shoutout before they’re ALL dead.” The Velvet Underground – during its years when Lou Reed, “the poet of destruction” himself, was its creative heart and soul – was magnificent.

Pictured here are (in rear) Lou “Ostrich Guitar” Reed, Sterling Morrison and John Yule sporting his Dark Lord Satan ‘stache. In the front are the legendary blonde goddess Nico and drummer Maureen Tucker, as always looking like someone photo-shopped a slightly startled 12 year old boy into the group’s picture. (I love Maureen, it’s just a joke.)  

Velvet Underground 2Lou Reed is dead but before all the members are gone I decided to do a shoutout to the group that DEFINED being ahead of their time. The Velvet Underground’s influence on music ran so deep it was like the proverbial “Citizen Kane Effect” – its innovations became so universally employed by others that it’s easy to forget there was a time when they WEREN’T being used.

We all know Brian Eno’s legendary line about how – though only 30,000 copies of the Velvet Underground’s 1967 debut album were sold – “everyone who bought a copy started a band of their own.” There are times when it seems like that wasn’t just hype. Hell, I often argue that the Prince song All The Critics Love U In New York seems inspired by the Velvet Undergound piece The Black Angel’s Death Song.

Lou ReedHere’s the song Heroin, one of the group’s most haunting. The way Lou Reed conveys the hopelessness and obsessiveness of heroin addiction makes this the furthest thing from what it was often accused of being – a song glorifying drug use.

Hardly. Reed hammers home every unappealing aspect of enslavement to the drug while taking the listener up and down on the highs and the inevitable crashes. Even sex becomes a mere secondary (maybe even tertiary) consideration as heroin takes over.

Anybody who would listen to this song and say “I gotta try some of that!” was doomed from the minute they crawled out of the womb anyway.  

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