Monthly Archives: March 2018

THE NEW MONKEES (1987): FORGOTTEN TELEVISION

New MonkeesThe New Monkees are remembered as the most pointless re-launch of a band in history AND as one of the worst television shows in history. I’ve never listened to their one and only album so I can’t say if they make it a Hat Trick with one of the worst albums in history, too. 

The premise sounds like a comedy sketch from the glory days of SCTV but unfortunately this thoroughly bizarre attempt to recapture the flukish charm of the original Monkees was 100% real.

Here’s the debut episode of The New Monkees‘ 13 episode run in 1987. Everything you’ve heard is true: We get Rocky Horror Picture Show lips voiced by a black lady, a weird sci-fi mansion home for the title foursome, a built-in diner and their annoying butler, Manford.

The laugh track does NOT go off during the few things that seemed funny, like a couple of apparently ad-libbed jokes by the New Monkees during their screen test footage, but instead goes off during lame, obvious jokes that not even small children would laugh at. Continue reading

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COLLEGE BASKETBALL CHAMPIONS FOR 2018

Balladeer’s Blog offers one last round of congratulations to the 2018 college basketball champions in the divisions covered here.

Graceland U Yellow JacketsNAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics) DIVISION ONE

National Champions – GRACELAND UNIVERSITY YELLOW JACKETS

Runners-Up – LSU-Alexandria Generals

2017 Champions – Texas Wesleyan University Rams 

Indiana Wesleyan WildcatsNAIA (National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics) DIVISION TWO

National Champions – INDIANA WESLEYAN UNIVERSITY WILDCATS

Runners-Up – University of Saint Francis Cougars

2017 Champions – Union College Bulldogs

Emmanuel College Lions logoNCCAA (National Christian College Athletic Association) DIVISION ONE

National Champions – EMMANUEL COLLEGE LIONS

Runners-Up – Southwestern Christian University Eagles

2017 Champions – Colorado Christian University Cougars   Continue reading

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BLACK ROSES (1988): FILM REVIEW

Black Roses 1BLACK ROSES (1988) – This legendarily laughable attempt at a horror film belongs to quite a few niche sub-genres. It’s a Canadian horror movie, it’s one of the wonderfully campy Heavy Metal Horror productions of the 1980s and most importantly for trivia lovers Black Roses is one of the Big Three Canadian turkeys to feature Frank Dietz in a supporting role. (The other two are Rock’N’Roll Nightmare and Zombie Nightmare. ) 

Dietz looked too young to be a police detective in Zombie Nightmare and he looks too OLD to be a high school student in Black Roses. But that’s part of his – and the movie’s – charm. He also plays one of the Black Roses in monster form during the film.

You want more kitsch-casting? How about Julie Adams of Creature From The Black Lagoon playing an elderly frump outraged over Heavy Metal’s supposed “Satanic” element?

How about noted musician Carmine Appice as Vinny Apache, one of the demonic members of the band Black Roses?

How about Vincent Pastore from The Sopranos as a Heavy Metal-hating parent who pays for that by getting mauled by a $1.49 spider-puppet AND getting sucked into a speaker playing Black Roses songs?  Continue reading

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POLITICAL CARTOONS, MARCH 26th

Corporate fascist Mark “Skippy” Zuckerberg and his site for insecure people filled with status anxiety, Hillary “Bugsy” Clinton going through life fat, drunk and stupid, plus more: 

Facebook hypocrisy

Hillary falling

 

Zuckerberg F

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MARCH MADNESS SEES TWO MORE COLLEGE BASKETBALL CHAMPS CROWNED

NCAA DIV TWO

Ferris State BulldogsCHAMPIONSHIP GAME – The lone remaining 1 seed – the FERRIS STATE BULLDOGS – battled the 3rd seeded NORTHERN STATE WOLVES for the NCAA Division Two title.

A fierce, furious opening Half ended with the Bulldogs clinging to a 39-37 edge over the Wolves. The 2nd Half saw the two teams put up exactly 32 points each, as Ferris State won their first ever National Championship by a score of 71-69. Zach Hankins led the victors with his 19 points.  * THE BULLDOGS ARE CHAMPIONS OF NCAA DIVISION TWO * Continue reading

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PANTHER’S RAGE ELEVEN: AND ALL OUR PAST DECADES HAVE SEEN REVOLUTIONS

VenommFOR PART ONE CLICK HERE  

JUNGLE ACTION Volume 2, Number 16 (July 1975)

XI. AND ALL OUR PAST DECADES HAVE SEEN REVOLUTIONS

Synopsis: The Black Panther has been back from his pursuit of Killmonger through Wakanda’s Hidden Realms for several days now. Thanks to the super-powers he has from the Panther Herbs AND to Wakanda’s advanced medical technology T’Challa has fully recovered from his wounds.

Salamander K’Ruel, the minion of Killmonger defeated by the Black Panther last time around, has been imprisoned in the Royal Palace just like Venomm, Malice, Baron Macabre and Lord Karnaj. T’Challa has brought all his advisors and his Royal Consort Monica Lynne up to date on everything that happened the previous four installments.

And allOur main character and Monica are frolicking on a beach at Twisted Visions Lake. They are swimming, riding giant trained turtles and having fun like consenting adults will have. Author Don McGregor has the two lovers exchange the kind of reasonably romantic dialogue that he would later have Sabre and Melissa Siren regularly spout to each other in his post-apocalyptic series titled Sabre

Meanwhile, back at the Royal Palace, Taku, T’Challa’s Chief of Communications Technology, is in the middle of one of his daily visits with Venomm/ Horatio Walters, one of Killmonger’s supervillain operatives. W’Kabi, the Security Chief, eventually sits in with them.

Wakanda's locationVenomm at last reveals how he – a white (but horribly disfigured) man from America – was brought to Wakanda by Killmonger. He talks about how N’Jadaka/ Killmonger had already recruited him as a follower years ago, even before he (Killmonger) gained an audience with the Black Panther at Avengers Mansion in New York City.   Continue reading

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THE BANGLES: IN YOUR ROOM

Balladeer’s Blog’s Give Them A Shoutout Before They’re Dead returns with a shoutout to the Bangles with their song In Your Room.

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