Tag Archives: opinion

POTENTIAL TITLES FOR PROGRAMS CENTERED AROUND A FASCIST TWERP

Democrats love to exploit tragedies

Democrats love to exploit young people and tragedies.

David Hogg, famous for standing on the dead bodies of the Parkland victims, has become beloved by the Democrats of the American media because of his willingness to act like he and he alone speaks for the dead.

As Democrats did with Cindy Sheehan, they’ve pretended this hate-spewing white child of privilege is not to be disputed. Which of course, makes it even MORE fun to point out what a fascist creep he comes across as. 

Here’s a look at the kind of television shows I could picture someone like this starring in (All shows are fictional): 

BOSS HOGG – (Public Affairs) A spoiled young fascist rants and raves about his childish worldview while claiming his parents “don’t know how to use Democracy.” 

David Hogg Political cartoonHOGG FUTURES – (Science Fiction) A young fascist presents a series of scenarios depicting the kind of Fascist dictatorship he wants to live in, and reveals what kind of fates he would have in store for political dissidents. Especially the ones who question if he was even in school on the day of the Parkland shootings.   

ATTENTION HOGG – (Bio-Drama) Through songs and interpretive dance, a tale is told about a teenage fascist pissing on the dead victims of a tragedy and then capitalizing on the attention his antics brought him. As of this writing David Hogg has not commented on whether of not he thinks this character is based on him.  

THE SERMON ON THE MOUND OF CORPSES – (Movie) Telefilm about how American demagogues cynically exploit the drama queen antics of a young fascist named Derek Pigg. A veritable nationwide Passion Play of sorts unfolds as the media indulges in non-stop hysteria while sanctifying shrill teens who say what the Democrats want them to say. This movie raises questions about who is more to blame: conscienceless adult trash in the media or youngsters who have learned that the quickest, easiest way to cheap attention is to imitate the attitudes of the conscienceless adult trash in the media.    Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, opinion

JIMMY KIMMEL: THE BALLADEER’S BLOG INTERVIEW

Jimmy Kimmell fat pigJimmy Kimmel, known as “that guy from The Man Show” and as “the wimp people love to hate” has been begging me to interview him for years now. I kept putting him off, given his reputation for grotesque body odor.

Finally I decided I could end the annoyance once and for all with a wager. I bet Kimmel that he couldn’t POSSIBLY get even lower ratings for the Harvey Weinstein Awards than the pathetic dweeb who hosted them last year. If he did, I would interview him. If not, I never had to interview him. Jimmy jumped at the bet.

Turns out he was the repugnant douchebag who hosted them last year! Needless to say, since garbage like Kimmel reeks more and more the longer it sits and festers he got much, much MUCH lower ratings than the previous year.

Anyway, I don’t welch on bets (which I understand is what Jimmy Kimmel’s mother said to the three-time animal-rapist who knocked her up with Jimmy in the first place) so I agreed to finally interview Kimmel to swat him away once and for all. So, let’s deal with this hack who cries himself to sleep every night over the fact that he’ll never be as daring, funny and iconoclastic as Steven Crowder. 

BY THE WAY, THE REPULSIVE JIMMY KIMMEL STILL REFUSES TO DONATE MORE MONEY TO CHARITY. WHAT A GREEDY SCUMBAG.

Balladeer’s Blog: So, Jimmy, looks like you did the seeming impossible and got even LOWER ratings than last year for your performance at this year’s presentation of Rapists and Child Molestors Against Trump.

Jimmy Kimmel: Yeah. I hate that Trump guy. He got all those beautiful women all his life and the only woman-ish thing I’ve ever managed to score with is that horse-faced Sarah Silverman. Every day and night I think about that and that’s what fuels my monomaniacal hatred of the Donald.  

BB: It’s possible if you showered every now and then or didn’t look so creepy all the time with that half-assed attempt at a beard you might be able to attract an acceptable looking woman.

JK: Personal hygiene is for the in-bred morons who voted for Trump. They’re all so stupid it’s like, what a bunch of stupid-headed stupid heads. I used to BEG Trump to fix me up with women but he always refused.

BB: Do you think your bizarre fixation on President Trump is healthy?

JK: Hell, yeah! In the entertainment industry today even somebody as untalented and unappealing as I am can make okay bucks as long as I bash Trump. It’s like, NONE of the celebrities that I pay to talk to me can believe that American scumbags voted for this guy. Continue reading

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BILLY JOEL: STILETTO

Another installment of Give Them A Shoutout Before They’re Dead with Billy Joel as the subject. Here’s his 1978 anthem to wicked women – Stiletto.

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SUBURBAN SASQUATCH (2004): TO REVIEW OR NOT REVIEW?

Suburban SasquatchRecently I’ve gotten several requests to review Suburban Sasquatch, written and directed by Dave Wascavage.  I’ve watched some of Wascavage’s flicks in response to those requests and I began to suspect that he is one of the faux-badfilm figures out there.

I like films which are bad UN-intentionally. Suburban Sasquatch further convinced me that Wascavage and his team set out to artificially harness the kind of Midnight Movie notoriety that The Room had organically earned the previous year. The documentary on The Making of Suburban Sasquatch sealed it for me.

In that documentary Wascavage spouts what sound to me like intentionally absurd profundities about the obviously awful movie, and I get a vibe from his behavior that he’s just furthering the illusion that he was trying to make a serious film. Fakeness oozes from the screen, especially when the female costume designer straight-facedly talks about her excitement in working on “a Dave Wascavage film.”

So I won’t be reviewing any of the man’s movies. I’m not trying to dissuade other people from watching his low-budget efforts, though. By all means check them out if you’re so inclined, but I get no enjoyment out of being played like this. I like straight-up parodies of bad movies or failed film efforts which are truly bad but I can’t even force myself to sit through quasi-Andy Kaufman style put-ons. 

I’m not saying any of this in anger, it’s just my usual “Give me Troma or give me Ed Wood” philosophy. 

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Filed under Bad and weird movies, opinion

TRANSGRESS WITH ME: JANUARY 29th

Mascot with demo and repub headsBalladeer’s Blog presents another edition of Transgress With Me.

*** NEVER LISTEN TO PEOPLE WHO TRY TO DISSUADE YOU FROM READING ALL THE MATERIAL YOU WANT. THEY’RE IMPLYING YOU AREN’T CAPABLE OF SIFTING THROUGH THE INFORMATION YOURSELF.

*** POLITICAL ZEALOTS REVISE THEIR MYTHS ABOUT HISTORY EVEN MORE FREQUENTLY THAN RELIGIOUS ZEALOTS REVISE THE MYTHS OF THEIR RELIGION.

*** PEOPLE WITH CLOSED MINDS MISTAKE SUCCESSFUL CENSORSHIP FOR “BEING IN THE RIGHT.”

*** THE ” AMERICAN INTELLIGENCE COMMUNITY” (LMAO) HAS PROVEN TO BE NOTHING MORE THAN THE ENFORCEMENT ARM OF BLOATED RICH PIGS AND ONE PERCENTERS. Continue reading

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TRANSGRESS WITH ME: NOVEMBER 18th

Mascot with demo and repub headsBalladeer’s Blog presents another edition of Transgress With Me. Like I always say, following the path of MOST resistance is the preferable path. I don’t advocate insincere contrarianism, I mean that there’s not much point in publicly proclaiming safe viewpoints.

For instance, I was an early proponent of gay marriage. In fact I openly supported it YEARS before the weak, inept, crooked and hate-filled Barack Obama decided it was safe enough to change from opposing gay marriage – the punk even voted for the Defense of Marriage Act (LMAO) as a Senator – to supporting it.  

Free speech 6I still support gay marriage because I think marriage is anything that a society decides that marriage is, but I no longer bother spouting off that I support it because it’s no longer daring to do so. Considering the fact that people actually get in trouble for OPPOSING gay marriage now means we’ve reached the point where it’s mere virtue signaling to drone on and on about supporting it.

Going around saying “LOOK AT ME! I SUPPORT THE SAFE POSITION!” is not being transgressive. Plus the political left now invokes absurd notions about “morality” to justify supporting gay marriage the same way the political right used to invoke absurd notions about “morality” to justify OPPOSING it.   

For more examples:

*** I support Donald Trump, our de facto Third Party President. At the present time this is a transgressive position to hold because the conformist forces opposing President Trump are fascistic, close-minded hatemongers who try to inflict all manner of harm on anyone who supports him.   

*** I  have always despised George W Bush but that is NOT a transgressive position to hold. I could loudly proclaim my contempt for George W Bush all day long and there would be no risk involved.   Continue reading

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NO DOUBT: SPIDERWEBS

Give Them A Shoutout Before They’re Dead returns with this shoutout to No Doubt’s song Spiderwebs.

 

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I’M ONLY HAPPY WHEN IT RAINS: MUSICAL SHOUTOUT

Balladeer’s Blog’s Give Them A Shoutout Before They’re Dead returns with this nod to this song by Garbage.

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BOB SEGER: ROCK ‘N’ ROLL NEVER FORGETS

Balladeer’s Blog’s segment Give Them A Shoutout Before They’re Dead has proven incredibly popular so here’s another round. This shoutout is for what I consider to be the most overlooked hit song from Bob Seger: Rock ‘N’ Roll Never Forgets.

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COOPER’S BACK TO NORMAL AND WE GOT TO SEE THE AUDREY DANCE (SPOILERS)

Twin peaks the returnSay what you will about Mondays, I don’t know how anyone can feel anything but great today after last night’s developments in Twin Peaks: The Return.

Cooper’s okay, Audrey danced in whatever odd purgatory/ coma/ lodge/ mauve zone she’s in and two of the right characters got killed. On top of that you had the Dougie Tulpa, the Diane Tulpa, Richard’s wild death scene, it was terrific!

twin peaks the return 2I was one of the people who was actually okay last week with Philip Jeffries being reincarnated as a teapot-kinda-thingie because hey – David Bowie’s dead in real life. With that voice actor imitating Bowie pretty well maybe they’ll give us a brief scene of old Bowie footage with this guy dubbing in new dialogue for a Jeffries Tulpa.

Anyway, as all parties converge on the town of Twin Peaks the final two episodes will air back to back next week! Let’s hope there’s not another premature drop in the U.K.    Insert your own coffee joke here and drink a toast to the only 2017 television series with a cast whose median age is about 68. (I’m kidding.)

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Filed under Forgotten Television