Tag Archives: Conservatives suck

WHY AMERICAN LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES ARE EQUALLY ANNOYING

"First George W Bush and now ME! You people will reelect ANYBODY!"

“First George W Bush and now ME! You people will reelect ANYBODY!”

Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only site on the web that is truly nonpartisan in its criticism of the walking caricatures called Liberals and Conservatives.

Like other adults here in the U.S. my own views are a mix of “liberal” and “conservative” attitudes. That’s why the rest of us find Liberals and Conservatives (with capitalized L’s and C’s) to be so outdated and laughably partisan. Enough preamble, here’s a list of some of the reasons we despise American Liberals and American Conservatives equally:

1. Liberals think they’re fit to lecture the rest of us about “diversity”. / Conservatives think they’re fit to lecture the rest of us about “family values”. 

2. Liberals are pretentious fools who actually think they’re the country’s official “intellectuals”.  / Conservatives are nationalist fools who actually think they’re the country’s official “patriots”. 

3. Liberals mindlessly take sides against their own country no matter what the circumstances. / Conservatives mindlessly side with their own country no matter what the circumstances.

4. Liberals actually believe Continue reading

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LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES AND PUNDITS

Welcome back to Balladeer’s Blog, the only Independent Voter site on the web that bashes Liberals and Conservatives equally. Only the most fanatical Liberals and Conservatives are still denying that every single news outlet is completely biased, either in favor of the left or the right. The political prejudices of every single “news” source are blatantly obvious and are as much fun to laugh at as bad movies are. REMEMBER: EVERY SINGLE NEWS SOURCE HERE IN THE U.S. IS JUST A LIBERAL PROPAGANDA OUTLET OR A CONSERVATIVE PROPAGANDA OUTLET. Here are four of the most laughable examples of American political pundits, two from each end of the political spectrum.

michael medved

Want to beat Michael Dukakis? Medved’s got the answers!

4. MICHAEL MEDVED – I think it was in Bedtime for Bonzo that Ronald Reagan expressed the Commandment he is best known for: “No bad movie lover shalt attack another bad movie lover.” But since I always felt as much contempt for Reagan as I feel for Barack Obama I’ll just break that commandment.

Michael Medved was coauthor of the two Golden Turkey Awards booklets and of The Hollywood Hall of Shame plus other landmark books for bad movie lovers. Medved even addressed Manos, The Hands of Fate years before it became a cult item in 1993. He was also one of the 1960’s Liberals who (rightly) grew disgusted with his generation’s irrational way of clinging to their increasingly outdated worldview and tiresome racebaiting.

Unfortunately, Medved went too far and became an actual conservative. His radio show is a bastion of hilarious right-wing gibberish and Continue reading

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MOCK CAMPAIGN SLOGANS FOR OBAMA AND ROMNEY, COURTESY OF BALLADEER’S BLOG

Two children of privilege who have nothing in common with the rest of us.

Welcome back to the favorite site of Independent Voters, Balladeer’s Blog, as always coming to you from an America stuck with the usual lame partisan fools that the Democratic and Republican Parties will go on sticking us with because of their monopolistic hold on our political system. This year the Democrats are trying to reelect the weak, inept and crooked little man named Barack Obama while the Republicans, rising to the challenge of coming up with a candidate as laughable as Obama, went with the man I like to call “the Republican Walter Mondale” – Mitt Romney.

Since Balladeer’s Blog remains the only site on the web that trashes both Liberal fools and Conservative fools equally I feel uniquely qualified to offer up some campaign slogans for these two repulsive figures. First up I’ll deal with Obama since he’s the incumbent felon, then I’ll handle Romney.

Barack Obama: If shallow, uninformed and emotionally unstable entertainers think he’s fit to govern the nation who are YOU to question their judgement?

Barack Obama: He’ll shrink your take-home pay until you have trouble making ends meet or die trying!

Barack Obama: All the ineptitude of Jimmy Carter … all the corruption of Richard Nixon.

Barack Obama: Because the problems of the 21st Century call for 1960’s solutions.

Barack Obama: Continue reading

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LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES AND WOMEN

Welcome back to the favorite site of Independent Voters, Balladeer’s Blog, the only site on the web that is truly nonpartisan in its criticism of  the shrill children called Liberals and Conservatives.

  The rest of us in the United States (aka “adults” ) get a lot of laughs out of the way Liberals and Conservatives think they’re fit to define womanhood and dictate how ALL women should lead their lives.

Anyone with common sense, which of course leaves Liberals and Conservatives out, realizes women are individuals and there is no “one size fits all” model they all have to live their lives by. However, Liberals and Conservatives cheapen and politicize everything they come into contact with and they’ve transformed what should be a period of unrivaled freedom for women into just another of their tiresome partisan battlefields.

Since Balladeer’s Blog loves to tweak both American Liberals and American Conservatives here’s a shoutout of praise to two women whose mere NAMES cause left-wing and right- wing fanatics to froth at the mouth with impotent outrage.

SARAH PALIN – As surely as Continue reading

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LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES AND “INTELLIGENCE”

What the pretentious fools of American Liberalism consider “objective journalism.”

Welcome back to the favorite site of Independent Voters, Balladeer’s Blog, as always coming to you from an America being torn to pieces by those walking caricatures called Liberals and Conservatives!

Just as American Conservatives have hopelessly politicized the word “patriot” to the point where it’s meaningless, American Liberals have hopelessly politicized the word “intellectual” to the point where it is meaningless, too. Conservatives will describe someone as a “patriot” IF that person mindlessly agrees with all their political views. Liberals will describe someone as an “intellectual” IF that person mindlessly agrees with all their political views.

In reality neither American Conservatives nor American Liberals are in any way fit to bestow labels like patriot and intellectual on anyone NOR are they fit to strip away such labels. Liberals are hilarious the way they pretend that even semi-literate movie stars and singers are “intellectual” as long as they unquestioningly spout Liberal dogma. American Liberals simultaneously pretend that even people who have multiple degrees are “dumb” if they hold opinions that the mindless conformists of liberalism disagree with.

Take for instance George Clooney. He dropped out of college but because he zealously spouts nothing but liberal talking points the American Left considers him “intellectual”. On the other hand if he was a Hollywood celebrity who dropped out of college and who expressed opinions that American Liberals disagree with he would be mocked and ridiculed as “an uneducated white American”. American Liberals are Continue reading

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SEPTEMBER 11TH ANNIVERSARY: LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES AND 9-11

For a non-believer and Indy Voter like me this is the ideal day to point out that there is no god named Allah and Muhammad was a false prophet. Islam is at LEAST as blood-soaked as any other religion and it is definitely the most homophobic and misogynistic religion in the world at this particular point in history.

Here is Balladeer’s Blog’s September 11th Anniversary post, in which I examine the way Liberal fanatics and Conservative fanatics would have dealt with events IF the 9-11 attacks had been thwarted.

Several years ago a big deal was made over whether or not the 9-11 attacks could have been prevented by greater coordination between elements of the intelligence community. Amid the predictable partisan bickering and childish finger- pointing that characterized the 9-11 Commision and its findings an important consideration was overlooked.

That consideration was how events would have unfolded if the attacks had actually been thwarted. Let’s take a quick look at both the Liberal idiocy and the Conservative idiocy that would have followed. 

THE LIBERAL IDIOCY – The insecure American Left always feels that the only Continue reading

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LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES AND FANATICISM

” My plan to drastically reduce the take-home pay of those few Americans who, despite my incompetence, still have jobs will SURELY repair the damage I’ve done to the economy!”

 Welcome back to the favorite place of Independent Voters, Balladeer’s Blog, the only site on the internet that is truly non-partisan in its criticism of the shrill children called Liberals and Conservatives. Last time around I examined how the unconstitutional monopoly that the Democratic and Republican parties hold on the American political system results in all our presidents being inept fools like Barack Obama and George W Bush.

Trust me, all of us would LOVE to vote for better people but the Democrats and Republicans refuse to nominate anyone who doesn’t play the same tired partisan game.

Because of my frequent references to the way Liberal fanatics and Conservative fanatics continue to tear the country apart I sometimes get emails from them asking me how I define the word “fanatic”. I’m always delighted when Liberals can tear themselves away from trite racebaiting and Conservatives can tear themselves away from their Bibles long enough to send me a few hate-filled missives so I’ll be happy to clarify my definition of the word.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE A LIBERAL OR CONSERVATIVE FANATIC IF …

You actually think people who mindlessly agree with your political views are “the good guys” and all the people who don’t are “the bad guys.”

You’ve deluded yourself into thinking that any facts that don’t fit your political prejudices are  propoganda spread by Fox News Channel and talk radio (Liberal fanatics) or spread by the Liberal media (Conservative fanatics) .

You avoid any Continue reading

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LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES AND POLITICAL CONVENTIONS

” And for my next trick, I’ll make your take-home pay shrink EVEN MORE in my second term!”

Welcome back to the favorite place of Independent Voters, Balladeer’s Blog, the only site on the web that is truly nonpartisan in its criticism of the repulsive demagogues called Liberals and Conservatives.
Many of my regular readers are from overseas and they often express confusion about America’s method of nominating people for the presidency and about how we end up with the same type of tiresome partisan zealots time after time.

The important thing to remember is that our choices are severely limited by those two rival gangs of white- collar criminals called Democrats and Republicans. Neither of those political parties is mentioned in the Constitution but you can’t realistically run for dog- catcher in this country without having to deal with the party apparatus of those Continue reading

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LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES AND THINKING PEOPLE ARE “BECOMING CONSERVATIVE”

“You bastards don’t have ANYTHING the government didn’t give you and don’t you peons forget it!”

Welcome back to the favorite site of Independent Voters, Balladeer’s Blog, as always coming to you from an America whose political system was hijacked by two rival gangs of white collar criminals called Democrats and Republicans more than 100 years ago!

We’re still being torn to pieces by Liberal zombies and Conservative zombies here in the USA, with the dismemberment being led by the inept little man in the White House. Barack Obama, in addition to Continue reading

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LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES AND CHICK-FIL-A

Are Muslims who own restaurants also going to be forced to express support for gay marriage? How about abortion rights? How about treating women as equals? Somehow I didn’t think so.

 Welcome back to the favorite site of Independent Voters, Balladeer’s Blog, as always coming to you from an America being torn to shreds by the repulsive fanatics called Liberals and Conservatives. I’ve never hidden my support for gay marriage but I also never imply that people who disagree with me should have their constitutional rights violated.  American Liberals clearly DO feel that way, however.

Recently Dan Cathy, the owner of the successful Chick-Fil-A restaurant chain, blasphemed against American Liberalism’s most sacred scriptures by expressing his outdated opinion supporting the traditional definition of marriage. Democratic officials in Boston and Chicago, including Obama’s best buddy Rahm Emanuel, let their imperial disdain be known and claimed that Chick-Fil-A franchises would not be welcome in their cities because of this.

I have often made clear my contempt for American Liberals because of the cowardly way they refuse to criticize Islam’s homophobia and misogny the same way they criticize Christianity’s homophobia and misogyny but not even I thought they were low enough to pull a maneuver like this.

Since the Chick-Fil-A owner is a Continue reading

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