Tag Archives: blogging

FEVER LAKE (1997): THIS TURKEY IS NOT WHAT IT SEEMS

Fever Lake 1FEVER LAKE (1997) – I like to think of this hilariously lame horror film as Twin Peaks 90210. I sometimes toy with I Was A Teenage Shining but that mock title only applies to isolated parts of Fever Lake. Overall, I think the creative team was trying for an imitation Twin Peaks vibe, especially given the time period in which it was made.

This little honey was released theatrically in Europe during 1996 but direct-to-video here in the U.S. during 1997. The credits even refer to much of the movie being shot in the town of Twin Lakes so for all I know that name might have provided spontaneous inspiration for the director or in the way of rewrites.

Fever Lake 2I’ll elaborate on that point in a bit, but for right now I’ll point out the enjoyable kitsch-casting that elevates this turkey slightly above other such dismal efforts. Corey Haim, one-half of the Haim-Feldman Colony Creature, stars as college student Albert. Saved By The Bell‘s Mario Lopez co-stars as college student Steve.

Yes, this is one of those flicks in which NONE of the top dozen or so stars play a character with a last name, except for good old Bo Hopkins the sheriff, who gets no FIRST name. Yet very, very minor characters get full names like “Bud Martin” and “Harry Kemp.” All my fellow lovers of Bad Movies have been there before.

Fever Lake serves up the usual assortment of horny students – all of whom seem fresh from Beverly Hills 90210 – staying at a creepy lakeside house provided by Corey Haim. The filmmakers actually seem to think we viewers won’t immediately realize that he’s the little boy who witnessed the murders in that house during the pre-credits flashback scene.   Continue reading →

10 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies

TRANSGRESS WITH ME: JANUARY 13th

Mascot with demo and repub headsBalladeer’s Blog presents another edition of Transgress With Me.

*** REPUBLICAN TRASH LIKE PAUL RYAN STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND THE FACT THAT PEOPLE WHO CROSSED PARTY LINES TO VOTE FOR PRESIDENT TRUMP HAVE NOT BECOME REPUBLICANS. WHEN TRUMP – OUR FIRST DE FACTO THIRD PARTY PRESIDENT – IS GONE, NO POLITICIAN WITH AN “R” AFTER THEIR NAME WILL BE WORTH VOTING FOR, BARRING BIG CHANGES TO THEIR PARTY.

*** DEMOCRATS STILL POMPOUSLY THINK THAT POINTING OUT THE WESTERN WORLD’S FLAWS MAKES THEM EXEMPT FROM THE GUILT THEY TRY TO INFLICT ON THE REST OF US. 

*** THE AMERICAN LEFT IS STILL FIGHTING A VERSION OF AMERICA WHICH HASN’T EXISTED FOR DECADES.

*** THE DEMOCRAT MEDIA’S SLOGAN APPARENTLY IS “WHAT WE SAY IS HAPPENING IN THIS COUNTRY IS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN WHAT IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING IN REAL LIFE.”

Following the path of MOST resistance is the preferable path. I don’t advocate insincere contrarianism, I mean that there’s not much point in publicly proclaiming safe viewpoints.

For instance, I was an early proponent of gay marriage. In fact I openly supported it YEARS before the weak, inept, crooked and hate-filled Barack Obama decided it was safe enough to change from opposing gay marriage – the punk even voted for the Defense of Marriage Act (LMAO) as a Senator – to supporting it.  

 

Free speech 6I still support gay marriage because I think marriage is anything that a society decides that marriage is, but I no longer bother spouting off that I support it because it’s no longer daring to do so. Considering the fact that people actually get in trouble for OPPOSING gay marriage now means we’ve reached the point where it’s mere virtue signaling to drone on and on about supporting it.

Going around saying “LOOK AT ME! I SUPPORT THE SAFE POSITION!” is not being transgressive. Plus the political left now invokes absurd notions about “morality” to justify supporting gay marriage the same way the political right used to invoke absurd notions about “morality” to justify OPPOSING it.   

For more examples:

*** I support Donald Trump, our de facto Third Party President. At the present time this is a transgressive position to hold because the conformist forces opposing President Trump are fascistic, close-minded hatemongers who try to inflict all manner of harm on anyone who supports him.   

*** I  have always despised George W Bush but that is NOT a transgressive position to hold. I could loudly proclaim my contempt for George W Bush all day long and there would be no risk involved.  

mascot-a-faceJUST BECAUSE SOMETHING IS COUNTER-INTUITIVE IT DOES NOT AUTOMATICALLY MEAN IT IS “DEEP” OR “INTELLECTUAL.”

PEOPLE WHO TALK ABOUT BEING “WOKE” ARE BEING JUST AS SELF-CONGRATULATORY AS PEOPLE WHO TALK ABOUT BEING “SAVED.”

THE ABILITY TO GET ANOTHER PERSON’S  OPINION CENSORED  DOES NOT MEAN YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT. 

+++ The concept of White Privilege is a mere social construct.  

+++ Filing a complaint about everyone who says something you disagree with is NOT “activism.”

+++ Critical race theory is nothing more than bigotry with a self-created halo.

+++ People who think they’re fit to tell you what words you are allowed to use are trying to force their own narrow-minded notions of “morality” on you. 

+++ The party of the Democrats has become nothing more than an organization dedicated to circumventing democracy in order to force everyone to obey their dictates. 

+++ There is no such thing as “Hate Speech.”

+++ The Democrats are irrational for teaching children age 6 or younger that they can decide for themselves if they want to be the opposite sex. They wouldn’t let children that age decide they are capable of driving, so clearly there ARE physical and developmental absolutes.  

+++ Colleges and universities have no business holding their kangaroo courts/ Star Chamber proceedings when a student is accused of a crime. That’s what courts of law are for and the accused is entitled to council.

+++ Women, African Americans and gay people do NOT have to obey the Democrats in order to be “authentic.”

+++ All lives matter. And it is not (yaaawwn) “racist” to say so. 

+++ Preserving civil liberties from reactionary Muslim oppression will be the great Civil Rights struggle of the 21st Century.

+++ Curriculum transformation is required to stop the educational system’s misuse by fanatically partisan Democrats.

+++ The real difference today is no longer Liberals vs Conservatives, which labels have become meaningless. In 2017 the difference is between Populists vs Feudalists.

+++ Increasingly, the question that potential tourists ask themselves is “Should we go abroad and risk getting killed by Muslim fascists or stay close to home and risk getting killed by Muslim fascists?”

+++ Democrats are fine with anti-Semitism as long as it masquerades as disapproval of Israel.

12 Comments

Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, opinion

CRATES: ANCIENT GREEK COMEDY

Balladeer’s Blog takes another look at the surviving fragments of an ancient Greek comedian, in this case Crates.

CratesCRATES – Crates’ career spanned from approximately the 450s B.C. to the 430s B.C. We have fragments from nine or ten comedies from an unknown total output. From other sources we know that comedies as stage productions began sometime around 500 B.C. or earlier so Crates came fairly early to the artform.

Crates was credited with being the first Athenian comic poet (the comedies were written in verse and included songs) to introduce drunken characters, still a comic staple over 2,400 years later. Aristotle himself credited Crates as being the first to abandon the “glorified comic monologues” approach of the oldest comedies and introducing fleshed-out plots and storylines.

Be that as it may, there is still a great deal of academic arguing over whether or not Crates’ work simply reflected the influence of Epicharmus, who may well have been the TRUE innovator.

Crates was supposedly an actor before he began writing comedies (But I’m sure he really wanted to direct. – rimshot – ) and his brother was Epilycus, one of the Epic Poets. Eusebius’ Chronicles stated that Crates was a well-known comedian by 451 B.C. and Demetrius Lacon in his work On Poetry indicates that Crates may have acted in some of Aeschylus’ tragedies before switching genres. 

KNOWN WORKS 

NeighborsNEIGHBORS – We do not have even a hypothetical year for this work, unfortunately. Since titles sometimes referred to the all-important Chorus of a Greek comedy there is speculation that the chorus members were “Neighbors” of some sort (Duh!) but nothing is known about the plot.

 Athenaeus argued that Crates’ use of a drunken character in this comedy PRE-DATED Epicharmus’ use of stage drunks, so apparently even back in ancient times this was being debated.   

The closest thing to an intact joke from the fragments of Neighbors is a lecherous reference to the delectable young males and females on hand serving whatever feast was being celebrated in the comedy. For today you could insert a Harvey Weinstein or Kevin Spacey type of joke, I guess.

The next closest thing to an intact joke is a possibly wry reference to ” playing at pessoi” which could refer both to pebbles used in a board game and pebbles used to wipe one’s bottom after defecation. Since the ancient Greek comedies are LOADED with scat jokes it’s possible that a very grotesque mix-up occurred.

Other fragments from this comedy are virtually useless: “I do not possess a lampstand.” (I want a T-Shirt that says that, dammit!) … “You must be quiet and not make a sound.” … “And had an aroma like sweetest myrrh.” … “If you’re smart, boy” … “A pig through roses” … “You led astray” … and “Scooping out a trough.”  Continue reading →

16 Comments

Filed under Ancient Greek Comedy

MY COUSIN’S AIRSHIP (1902): ANCIENT SCIENCE FICTION

My Cousin's AirshipMY COUSIN’S AIRSHIP, A TALE OF 1950 (1902) – Written by W.F. Alexander. Though written in 1902 this story is set in a fictional 1950 which has seen incredible scientific advances.

The action begins in England, where our narrator lives with his true love Margaret. His cousin Stephen Rankin – a former rival for Margaret’s affections – is a nasty mean-spirited mad scientist figure.

Stephen has invented a new type of aerocar which can travel 45 miles per hour, which we readers are told makes it the fastest aircraft of 1950. (!) As a peace-making gesture the inventor invites our narrator along for a joyride in the airship. Continue reading →

4 Comments

Filed under Ancient Science Fiction

TWELVE MORE COOL HELMETS FROM NEGLECTED FOOTBALL TEAMS

Balladeer’s Blog’s readers just love these! Here are some more before pro football season is over.

Downington Wests WhippetsDOWNINGTON WEST WHIPPETS

Comments: WHIPPET! Whippet GOOD! Long-time readers of Balladeer’s Blog will surely remember George the Whippet and his owners in the U.K.

Whippets are terrific dogs and more teams should be named after them.  

Bangor SlatersBANGOR SLATERS

Comment: I’m assuming the rivals of the Slaters are the Zachs. (rimshot)

So their helmets may not have any cool logo or design on them but c’mon, some helmets are so cool that just their stark simplicity and kickass shell color makes them iconic.  Continue reading →

24 Comments

Filed under Cool Helmets, opinion

55 HILARIOUS FAILED PREDICTIONS FROM PSYCHICS

earth-explodingWith 2018 underway Balladeer’s Blog takes a look at some past predictions by “psychics”  (LMAO) that turned out to be wildly off the mark.

FREDERICK DAVIES – In 1978 he predicted:

— Jimmy Carter would get reelected.

— In the early 1980s sea research would result in a cure for various types of cancer.

— A manned landing on Mars would be made by 1985.

— By 1988 a third of all homes would be using solar energy for cooking and heating.

firebird-2015-ad— Private automobiles would be banned … by 1990.

— Also by 1990 life would be discovered on Jupiter and communication with another planet – possibly from beyond our solar system – would be achieved.

— Between 1999-2001 the origin of the UFO sightings around the world would be determined. Continue reading →

30 Comments

Filed under humor

PRIMER (2004) – CREPE SYUZHET

primerPRIMER (2004) – HAPPY NEW YEAR and yes, I’m just childish enough to pat myself on the back for that play on words in the title of this blog post. With that out of the way I know I’m late to the game when it comes to Primer but my own skepticism about it made me keep it on the back burner in terms of priority movies to watch.

Since New Year’s Eve into the New Year is the closest any of us ever get to time travel I figured today was the perfect time to review this controversial film. Primer was made for just $7,000 (really) by Shane Carruth, who starred, wrote, directed, edited, arranged the music and pretty much did everything but wash the cars of his collaborators.

The film’s 2:1 film ratio has become legendary and decisively proved the benefits of having your cast repeatedly rehearse scenes before letting the cameras roll. Film stock ain’t cheap and anything an independent producer can do to save on it is pure gold.

primer-2Shane Carruth stars as Aaron and David Sullivan portrays Abe. The pair are engineers who – on the side – run a tech business out of Aaron’s garage. As a side effect of a project they are working on the two discover a means of time travel.

Don’t roll your eyes and assume that Primer is just another use of this well-worn concept. I made that mistake and put off watching this excellent and thought-provoking movie for far too long.

You can ignore reviews which claim the opening half of this 77 minute film is boring. Literally even the most casual exchanges of dialogue have bearing on the overall story. It’s not really a spoiler at this late date to point out that the very beginning of the film is NOT the “first run” of the events in the storyline, as a viewer discovers later. Continue reading →

8 Comments

Filed under opinion

NOVEMBER 2017’s BEST

Balladeer’s Blog’s Best of 2017 continues …

bellona-and-rennellNUMBER ONE – Two gods of Bellona and Rennell Islands – NGUATUPU’A AND TEPOUTU’UINGANGI – As part of my look at gods and goddesses from various Polynesian island groups.

CLICK HERE 

NUMBER TWO – THE NEW HUMANS (1909): ANCIENT SCIENCE FICTION – CLICK HERE 

Che Guevara 2NUMBER THREE – A look at how CHE GUEVARA AND GUY FAWKES came to symbolize the opposite of what they were in real life. CLICK HERE 

NUMBER FOUR – A political tell-all about a small part of the sleaze in American politics – DONNA BRAZILE’S BOOK ON HILLARY AND DNC CORRUPTION. CLICK HERE 

NUMBER FIVE – A look at yet another American Liberal like me driven away from the Left by their cowardly hypocrisy, pompous snobbery and hilarious pretentiousness. KERI SMITH – Just CLICK HERE

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

BEST BLOG POSTS OF OCTOBER 2017

Balladeer’s Blog’s Best of 2017 continues …

Rappaccini's Daughter 2NUMBER ONE – BEATRICE THE POISON WOMAN – A Halloween Season look at the beautiful but deadly hybrid woman from Nathaniel Hawthorne’s horror story Rappaccini’s Daughter. CLICK HERE  

NUMBER TWO – LATEST DEMOCRAT ATROCITY ROUNDUP – They love to lecture the rest of us for hellish situations of their own making. CLICK HERE 

Frankenstein's Army 2NUMBER THREE – FRANKENSTEIN’S ARMY (2013) – A review of this look at a horror movie about a descendant of the original Dr Frankenstein. This Doctor F is reanimating custom-weaponized corpses for the Nazis during World War Two. CLICK HERE 

NUMBER FOUR – My review of ROBERT LUDLUM’S NUMBER ONE NOVEL – THE MATARESE CIRCLE. In this age of debates over globalism and the ugly influence of multi-national corporations on the political process The Matarese Circle is THE Ludlum novel to discover if you haven’t already. CLICK HERE 

Soul of Kol NikonNUMBER FIVE – THE SOUL OF KOL NIKON (1913) – My Halloween Season review of this neglected novel by female author Eleanor Farjeon. The story deals with a Changeling using his supernatural command of music to try to steal a soul for himself from a human victim. CLICK HERE 

NUMBER SIX – THE CENTENARIAN (1822) – My review of a Gothic Horror novel by Balzac himself. A Frenchman has lived for centuries through the supernatural abilities he has learned from the Rosicrucians. He serves as a veritable Puss In Boots for his descendants, using his powers to prey on anyone who gets in their way. CLICK HERE

Bourne IdentityNUMBER SEVEN – THE BOURNE IDENTITY – My review of ROBERT LUDLUM’S NUMBER TWO NOVEL, about amnesiac intelligence agent Jason Bourne. CLICK HERE  

NUMBER EIGHT – THE BLACK REAPER (1899) – My Halloween Season review of this Gothic Horror story about a black-garbed figure who springs from the corn fields, wielding a scythe to very deadly effect. CLICK HERE

8 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

BAD MOVIES WITH A NEW YEAR’S THEME

Here’s Balladeer’s Blog’s look at bad movies with a New Year’s Eve theme. As usual, full-length reviews of these films can be found on my Bad Movie page.

AKA Time Warp

AKA Time Warp

BLOODY NEW YEAR (1987) – Also released under the title Time Warp but it’s grisly enough for the more explicit title. A handful of British boaters who are fleeing a family of soccer hooligans (no, really) wind up on an island with a deserted hotel that’s been decorated for a New Year’s Eve party since the 1950s.

This Norman J Warren film stars nobody and borrows heavily from Sam Raimi’s original Evil Dead in terms of its imitation “Deadites” and its POV tracking shots. It also features a killer who emerges from a movie being watched, a monster who climbs out of a tablecloth, homicidal kitchen utensils, indoor snowfall, laughing shrubbery and living walls.

All the chaos is being caused by hapless souls who have been trapped in limbo for decades and will do anything to get out or to drag others into their hellish undead existence with them.

Bloody New Year is a neglected bad movie classic that has all the Continue reading →

10 Comments

Filed under Bad and weird movies