Robert De Niro and Zac Efron
Yes, Balladeer’s Blog has another scoop! My sources in the industry – and by the industry I mean the business – have informed me that in keeping with his “you sign my paycheck and I’ll be in your movie” philosophy Robert De Niro will play the title character in the reboot of the teensploitation flick Porky’s.
De Niro stated he wants to end his career as “the 21st Century Cameron Mitchell, y’know, one of those guys who are in so many movies they become a joke and their earlier, quality stuff gets forgotten. Ya gotta problem with that? I may appear in drag in my next movie. You don’t like it – don’t come see me, awright?”
Johnny Depp has signed onto the project to portray Pee Wee, the character with the notoriously small penis. At first Depp refused to even return the director’s calls but relented when promised he could play Pee Wee wearing weird hats and strange makeup. Continue reading
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS (1974) – The dumbest of all animated Christmas stories. Even as a little kid I wanted to kick this cartoon special’s cold, merciless Santa Claus between the legs over and over again. 
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