TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS (1974) – The dumbest of all animated Christmas stories. Even as a little kid I wanted to kick this cartoon special’s cold, merciless Santa Claus between the legs over and over again.
When ONE dorky mouse writes a letter to the newspaper debunking Santa’s existence old Saint Nick shows a decided lack of Christmas spirit by pompously deciding that NOBODY in the town will get any gifts. The town constructs a massive clock that plays a butt-kissing song to try to appease the wrath of the power-crazed Dread Deity of Yule, Kris Kringle.
Luckily this works or else the town would have probably resorted to sacrificing virgins to convince the dark Noel god to show mercy on them. The town should have told Santa to watch The Grinch Who Stole Christmas to learn a few things about the season.
Then, as the town’s verbose mayor might say they could tell Santa to affix his lips to the collective gluteus maximi of the entirety of the hamlet’s populace – oh, heck, to kiss their asses!
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