Author Archives: balladeer

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About balladeer

I am passionately interested in college sports, ancient Greek comedies, bad/weird movies, mythology, the American Revolution, Puck Magazine, World War I, U.S. Presidential history, silent movies, the English Civil War, epic, lyric and comic poetry, U.S. Supreme Court history, the Revolutions of 1848, the Philippine War and old pulp heroes like The Moon Man, Pilot G8, Silver John and The Rio Kid.

NON-DILLINGER: THE TRI-STATE TERROR

FOR PART ONE CLICK HERE 

Tri-State TerrorTHE TRI-STATE TERROR

Real Name: Wilbur Underhill, Jr

Birth – Death: March 16th, 1901 – January 6th, 1934

Lore: Underhill is so overlooked today there are times when it seems like there IS no lore about him. That is good, actually, since rabid criminals like this don’t deserve the romanticized treatment they usually get.

Criminal Career: In 1918 Underhill was convicted of burgling the home of his family’s next-door neighbor in Joplin, MO and was sent to prison. He was released in 1922 and began robbing necking couples who were parked in cars, making him one of many “Lover’s Lane Bandits” across the country.  

Underhill, still just a One State Terror at this point, was convicted of armed robbery after police decoys caught him one night in 1923 pulling off a Lover’s Lane holdup. Wilbur was sentenced to five years but was released on parole in 1926. He celebrated Christmas of 1926 by robbing an Oklahoma drug store with “Skeet” Akins and killing a 19 year old customer in the process. Continue reading

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Filed under Neglected History, opinion

JIMMY KIMMEL: THE BALLADEER’S BLOG INTERVIEW

Jimmy Kimmell fat pigJimmy Kimmel, known as “that guy from The Man Show” and as “the wimp people love to hate” has been begging me to interview him for years now. I kept putting him off, given his reputation for grotesque body odor.

Finally I decided I could end the annoyance once and for all with a wager. I bet Kimmel that he couldn’t POSSIBLY get even lower ratings for the Harvey Weinstein Awards than the pathetic dweeb who hosted them last year. If he did, I would interview him. If not, I never had to interview him. Jimmy jumped at the bet.

Turns out he was the repugnant douchebag who hosted them last year! Needless to say, since garbage like Kimmel reeks more and more the longer it sits and festers he got much, much MUCH lower ratings than the previous year.

Anyway, I don’t welch on bets (which I understand is what Jimmy Kimmel’s mother said to the three-time animal-rapist who knocked her up with Jimmy in the first place) so I agreed to finally interview Kimmel to swat him away once and for all. So, let’s deal with this hack who cries himself to sleep every night over the fact that he’ll never be as daring, funny and iconoclastic as Steven Crowder. 

BY THE WAY, THE REPULSIVE JIMMY KIMMEL STILL REFUSES TO DONATE MORE MONEY TO CHARITY. WHAT A GREEDY SCUMBAG.

Balladeer’s Blog: So, Jimmy, looks like you did the seeming impossible and got even LOWER ratings than last year for your performance at this year’s presentation of Rapists and Child Molestors Against Trump.

Jimmy Kimmel: Yeah. I hate that Trump guy. He got all those beautiful women all his life and the only woman-ish thing I’ve ever managed to score with is that horse-faced Sarah Silverman. Every day and night I think about that and that’s what fuels my monomaniacal hatred of the Donald.  

BB: It’s possible if you showered every now and then or didn’t look so creepy all the time with that half-assed attempt at a beard you might be able to attract an acceptable looking woman.

JK: Personal hygiene is for the in-bred morons who voted for Trump. They’re all so stupid it’s like, what a bunch of stupid-headed stupid heads. I used to BEG Trump to fix me up with women but he always refused.

BB: Do you think your bizarre fixation on President Trump is healthy?

JK: Hell, yeah! In the entertainment industry today even somebody as untalented and unappealing as I am can make okay bucks as long as I bash Trump. It’s like, NONE of the celebrities that I pay to talk to me can believe that American scumbags voted for this guy. Continue reading

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Filed under humor, LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, opinion

SMITHEREENS: BEHIND THE WALL OF SLEEP

Balladeer’s Blog strikes again, giving a shoutout to a group of musicians before they’re ALL dead. This shoutout goes to the Smithereens and their song Behind the Wall of Sleep:

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ACCA NATIONAL TOURNAMENT AND MORE COLLEGE BASKETBALL ACTION

ACCA

ULA College of Divinity CubsDAY TWO, GAME ONE – This game pitted the UNIVERSITY OF LOS ANGELES COLLEGE OF DIVINITY CUBS against the RHEMA BIBLE COLLEGE EAGLES. (Didn’t I tell you there are WAAAYYY too many college teams called Eagles?)

The explosive 1st Half ended with the Cubs chasing the Eagles, who were on top 44-34. ULA College of Divinity came fighting back and forced Overtime with a 74-74 tie to end Regulation. In the extra session the Cubs slipped past Rhema Bible College in an 85-84 nailbiter. Jalen Holdford led ULACOD with 20 points and 8 rebounds.

Kansas Christian College FalconsDAY TWO, GAME TWO – Up next the KANSAS CHRISTIAN COLLEGE FALCONS took the court against the CHAMPION CHRISTIAN COLLEGE TIGERS.

An action-packed opening Half saw the Tigers muster a 44-42 edge over the Falcons. From there Kansas Christian College clamped down defensively and outscored Champion Christian College 37-33 for a 79-77 victory. Thirteen points from Wilkins Desir led the Falcons. 

Carolina Christian College CenturionsDAY TWO, GAME THREE – The CAROLINA CHRISTIAN COLLEGE CENTURIONS squared off against the OZARK CHRISTIAN COLLEGE AMBASSADORS, fresh off their Day One triumph.

The Centurions figuratively “threw them to the ground” on defense, smothering the Ambassadors for a FORTY-SIX to TWENTY Halftime lead. In the 2nd Half Carolina Christian College coasted for a 79-56 victory, led by Austin Robinson’s 22 points as well as by Artavius Love’s Double Double of 21 points and 10 rebounds. Continue reading

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NON-DILLINGER: QUICK TAKES ON OTHER GANGSTERS OF HIS ERA

With John Dillinger folklore given WAY too much attention, Balladeer’s Blog takes a look at some of the legends versus the ugly reality regarding some of his contemporary gangsters. 

Two Gun Crowley biggerTWO-GUN CROWLEY

Real Name: Francis Crowley

Birth – Death: October 31st, 1912 – January 21st, 1932

Lore: Crowley was supposedly born out of wedlock to a German-American woman and a New York police officer who refused to marry Crowley’s mother. This supposedly accounts for his intense hatred of the police.

Reality: Such shallow, Pulp Magazine thinking doesn’t seem likely. The young man was adopted by a family in which Francis grew up alongside a cop-killing older brother named John Crowley. John himself would be killed in a battle with police.

This background seems a more likely explanation for Francis’ issues than some mythical hatred of an unknown father who abandoned him and his mother. 

Two Gun Crowley in bedCriminal Career: By age 19, Crowley had a reputation as a competent holdup man and hit & run armed robber who never slipped up enough for a conviction. He might have escaped suspicion entirely if not for his excessively belligerent attitude when questioned by authorities.     

On February 21st, 1931 Crowley, packing the omnipresent pair of hand-guns that earned him his nickname, crashed an American Legion dance in the Bronx. Two-Gun was accompanied by a pair of male accomplices, one of whom was believed to be frequent associate Rudolph “Fats” Durringer.

When the Legionnaires attempted to expel the uninvited trio Crowley whipped out his pair of firearms and opened fire, wounding at least two innocent men before fleeing. With charges of attempted murder now hanging over his head, Two-Gun was about to enter the busiest period of his career. Continue reading

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PANTHER’S RAGE FIVE: KING CADAVER

King Cadaver is Dead and Living in WakandaFOR PART ONE CLICK HERE 

JUNGLE ACTION Volume 2, Number 10 (July 1974)

V. KING CADAVER IS DEAD AND LIVING IN WAKANDA

Synopsis: The Black Panther is sitting on one of the shores of the River of Grace and Wisdom. He is lost in thought over the way his people are calling for his Royal Consort, the popular American singer Monica Lynne, to be found guilty of Zatama’s murder and put to death. (Zatama was stabbed to death last time around by a shadowy figure but Monica’s fingerprints were found on the murder weapon.)

Presently a crocodile catches the brooding T’Challa by surprise and he must fight for his life, ultimately killing the crocodile. The Black Panther returns to the Panther Palace to visit Monica, who is terrified that she might be executed for a crime she didn’t commit.

W’kabi is among the advisors of T’Challa who is calling for Monica’s head but Taku is being a bit more level-headed. Our hero leaves the palace to attend a funeral ritual for M’Jumbak, one of the victims of Baron Macabre and his army of seeming zombies from our previous issue.

The man’s son Kantu touches a chord with T’Challa, who sees in the young man a bit of himself when he was filled with rage and bafflement after Klaw’s murder of his (T’Challa’s) father. Presently, the Black Panther heads off to the Wakanda City cemetery where he fought Killmonger’s lieutenant Baron Macabre and his possibly undead troops.    Continue reading

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BIBLE COLLEGE NIT CHAMPS CROWNED PLUS MORE POSTSEASON COLLEGE BASKETBALL ACTION

BIBLE COLLEGE NIT

Mid-Atlantic Christian U MustangsCHAMPIONSHIP GAME – The last two teams standing in this tournament were the 4 seeds – the MID-ATLANTIC CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY MUSTANGS – and the 2nd seeded TRINITY BAPTIST COLLEGE EAGLES. (Insert my usual remark about there being way too many college teams called Eagles.)

The Mustangs were clearly hungry for their first-ever National Championship and had seized a 39-23 advantage by Halftime. After the break Mid-Atlantic Christian University managed a bit more separation from the pursuing Eagles, ultimately winning the game by a final tally of 75-54. The Mustangs’ Grayson Tejada led the victors with 18 points while his teammate Dixon Ogwo notched a Double Double of 14 points and 16 rebounds. * THE MUSTANGS ARE 2018 BIBLE COLLEGE CHAMPIONS

ASSOCIATION OF CHRISTIAN COLLEGE ATHLETICS

ozark christian college ambassadorsDAY ONE, GAME ONE – The storied OZARK CHRISTIAN COLLEGE AMBASSADORS opened the action with a game against the ASSOCIATION FREE LUTHERAN BIBLE SCHOOL CONQUERORS.

The Ambassadors negotiated their way to a 46-35 lead to end the action-packed opening Half. The Conquerors kept things a little tighter after the break but Ozark Christian College went on to win this shootout 98-85. Bryce Money of the Ambassadors tossed in 25 points to lead OCC. Continue reading

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THE RATINGS GAME (1984): MOVIE REVIEW

Ratings GameTHE RATINGS GAME (1984) – Danny DeVito directed and starred in this telefilm – now being re-released under the vague-to-the-point-of-meaningless title The Mogul, which was produced by Showtime back when they and HBO Films were emerging as a genuine creative force in original content.

That era saw HBO Films churn out many made-for-cable movies that reflected studio-level production values and often adapted fictional and non-fictional properties that neither networks nor Hollywood felt like tackling at the time.

Telefilms like And The Band Played On, Barbarians at the Gate, Gotti, Kissinger and Nixon plus many, many others received critical acclaim AND proved commercially successful when released on video or in syndication to – ironically – network television.  

Ratings Game bThe Ratings Game – written by Jim Mulholland and Michael Barrie – was a perfectly respectable satire on the network television ratings system but it has become unjustly forgotten. The change of title for its latest release seems like a desperate attempt to change the telefilm’s fortunes. 

Personally I really like The Ratings Game. It definitely qualifies as one for my list of Aristophanes Now productions, in this case because it captures the feel of the Parathespian Comedies from Attic Old Comedy. (But let’s face it, it would probably have been written by Strattis instead of Aristophanes.)

Part of the reason for this telefilm’s obscurity may be the way it satirized the flaws in the network ratings system. This flick was released when Nielsen and similar ratings outfits still often used a mere 1,100-1,200 participating homes to extrapolate the ratings numbers on which television programs lived or died.    Continue reading

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HEROIC JOURNALIST SHARYL ATTKISSON CONTINUES THE FIGHT TO EXPOSE EVEN MORE OF OBAMA’S CRIMES

Sharyl AttkissonSharyl Attkisson, the Ida Tarbell of the 21st Century, is virtually the only journalist left in the United States. She courageously continues her lawsuit demanding full disclosure of Barack Obama’s illegal targeting of her for electronic surveillance. (So many other reporters were just Democrat publicists happy to write Obama Fan Fiction, meaning there was no need to harass them like Obama harassed Attkisson.)  

In addition to that she has been at the forefront of detailed reporting on Obama and Hillary’s illegal collusion with Russia and their total corruption of America’s “Intelligence Agencies” (LMAO) in whitewashing investigations of Hillary while conducting plots to destroy the incoming Trump Administration.

Clearly, Obama and Hillary paniced when Crooked Hillary lost to President Trump and it became clear that all of these scandals would come to the surface without Hillary in office to cover them up. Deciding the best defense is a good offense, Hillary and other Trump foes have been playing their ridiculous game pretending the president colluded with Russians. 

For people who still have trouble following all the misdeeds of Obama and Hillary and the assorted thugs who did their bidding here is a link to one of Attkisson’s items providing a handy guide. CLICK HERE  

 

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Filed under LIBERALS AND CONSERVATIVES, Neglected History, opinion

USCAA BASKETBALL CHAMPS CROWNED + MORE POSTSEASON ACTION

USCAA DIVISION ONE

rochestercollegewarriorsCHAMPIONSHIP GAME – A pair of Cinderellas vied for the Division One title in the USCAA (United States Collegiate Athletic Association). The 5th seeded ROCHESTER COLLEGE WARRIORS played the 6 seeds – the OAKWOOD UNIVERSITY AMBASSADORS.

The Warriors grabbed a 35-25 lead by Halftime and after the break kept getting more and more separation from the Ambassadors. The final score in this game was Rochester College 80  Oakwood University 61. Justin Nafso’s 27 points led the victors. * THE WARRIORS ARE USCAA CHAMPIONS * Continue reading

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