Tag Archives: If Footmen Tire You What Will Horses Do?

IF FOOTMEN TIRE YOU, WHAT WILL HORSES DO? (1971)

I’ve gotten e-mails asking that I review this movie but I already did in 2010. It’s been on my Bad Movie page here: https://glitternight.com/bad-movies/

If Footmen Tire youIF FOOTMEN TIRE YOU, WHAT WILL HORSES DO? (1971) – Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9-sized cult following.    

No, it’s not about Quentin Tarantino and pre-Castro Havana nightclubs (Thank you, I’m here all week!) it’s really a Cold War-era warning about what would happen if Communists took over the United States. It’s from Ron Ormond, best known for the bad movie classic Mesa Of Lost Women before he found religion and hooked up with the Reverend Estus W Pirkle for films like this one.

If Footmen Tire you 2Pirkle serves as the narrator of this quirky little mess, ranting on and on in his over-the-top way about how the USA has turned away from the Bible and will suffer the consequences. He’s like a combination of Criswell in Plan 9 From Outer Space and the sermonizing narrator from Blood Freak (qv).

In one of his enjoyably bizarre tangents before he gets to the Soviet conquest of America he also speaks out on the “evils” of dancing, which he calls ”The front door to adultery! What starts on the dance floor is expected to be finished later.” He even says dancing is “as immoral as it has always been”. Continue reading

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THE EIGHT MOST NEGLECTED BAD MOVIES HERE AT BALLADEER’S BLOG

Alabama's GhostSome of the bad and weird movies I review here at Balladeer’s Blog get a huge amount of love. Films like Death Bed, Deafula, Assignment: Terror, Ghost Busting, Lewd Lizard and plenty of others don’t go a day without plenty of hits. Others for whatever reason struggle for attention. Here is a look at some of those flicks that deserve just as much of a cult following as the big names have.

ALABAMA’S GHOST (1973) – Who does this movie have to sleep with to get into my top ten articles per day on a regular basis? This flick boasts Nazi vampires from outer space, a female mad scientist named Dr Caligula, campy voice-over narration and an incoherent, cobbled-together ending prompted by the film’s production budget running out. And did I mention the Continue reading

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BAD MOVIE PAGE – IF FOOTMEN TIRE YOU WHAT WILL HORSES DO?

I’ve gotten e-mails requesting that I review this movie but I already did, last year. It’s been on my Bad Movie page but to make it easier to find (and to remind people that I have a Bad Movie page since I’ve been so busy on other subjects lately) here it is: For more Bad Movie reviews click here: https://glitternight.com/bad-movies/

IF FOOTMEN TIRE YOU, WHAT WILL HORSES DO? (1971) – Category: A neglected bad movie classic that deserves a Plan 9-sized cult following    No, it’s not about Quentin Tarantino and pre-Castro Havana nightclubs (Thank you, I’m here all week!) it’s really a Cold War-era warning about what would happen if Communists took over the United States. It’s from Continue reading

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Filed under Bad and weird movies