Monthly Archives: March 2014

THE MATRIARCH: THE SUPERHEROINE SAVES LAS VEGAS FROM AN ARMY OF PARACHUTING ELVIS PRESLEYS

A photo of the superheroine called the Matriarch in action

A photo of the superheroine called the Matriarch in action

Dateline: Las Vegas, NV  The costumed and voluptuous superheroine known only as the Matriarch was in action once again overnight last night saving the citizens and tourists of Las Vegas from a veritable army of looters all dressed as Elvis Presley and all of whom had parachuted in along the Strip and engaged in a night-long crime spree.

As the hours wore on, however, that crime spree became a running battle with the black-garbed Matriarch, and as she whittled down the numbers of the criminal army that running battle turned into a siege as the crooks attempted to Continue reading

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COLLEGE BASKETBALL – CONFERENCE AND NATIONAL TOURNAMENT RESULTS FROM MARCH 5th

*** NAIA *** 

USAO Drover newSOONER ATHLETIC CONFERENCE – The ever-tough UNIVERSITY OF SCIENCE AND ARTS OF OKLAHOMA DROVERS have a well-earned reputation for being as proficient at sports as they are in the classroom. Last night the 6th seeded Drovers eliminated the 11th seeded SOUTHWESTERN CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY EAGLES by a score of 76-66   ###   Meanwhile in their Opening Round matchup the 8th seeded OKLAHOMA BAPTIST UNIVERSITY BISON scored a Century Club- level 103 points to the 76 notched by their opponents – 9th seeded TEXAS WESLEYAN RAMS   ###   And the 10th seeded NORTHWOOD (TX) KNIGHTS dragged the 7th seeded JOHN BROWN UNIVERSITY GOLDEN EAGLES (I say their teams should be called the Abolitionists) into Overtime before losing to them by a final score of 107-100. 

Evangel-LogoHEART OF AMERICA ATHLETIC CONFERENCE – The 4th seeded EVANGEL UNIVERSITY CRUSADERS trailed the 5th seeded CENTRAL METHODIST UNIVERSITY EAGLES for most of the game but tied it up to force TWO OVERTIME PERIODS. The Crusaders at last emerged with a 125-114 victory   ###   The 3rd seeded MIDAMERICA NAZARENE UNIVERSITY PIONEERS won an 87-80 battle royal with the 6th seeded MISSOURI VALLEY COLLEGE VIKINGS   ###   In the top spot the BENEDICTINE COLLEGE RAVENS bounced the 8th seeded BAKER UNIVERSITY WILDCATS  66-51   ###   And the 2nd seeded CULVER- STOCKTON COLLEGE WILDCATS joined the Century Club with their 105-89 triumph over Continue reading

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SIX-STRING SAMURAI (1998) – STILL ONE OF MY ALL-TIME FAVORITE FILMS

Six String SamuraiSIX-STRING SAMURAI (1998) – 91 minutes – Directed by Lance Mungia … Starring Jeffrey Falcon and Justin McGuire … Written by Lance Mungia and Jeffrey Falcon … Soundtrack by Brian Tyler and the Red Elvises  

There’s an old saying to the effect that every American male who loves movies wishes on some level that they had directed The Wild Bunch. Generalizations like that are very seldom accurate and at least in my case that particular one is very far from the truth. If I wished I had directed any one movie it would be Six-String Samurai.  

Trying to offer a brief description of this film is virtually impossible but for the sake of attracting new viewers to this underappreciated flick I’ll take a shot at it by calling it surrealism’s only two-fisted action blockbuster. For its visual style Six-String Samurai slyly adopts the cinematic elements and directorial grammar that are shared by the best samurai films, Spaghetti Westerns and post-apocalypse actioners. And in this age of FAR too many comic-book action movies it has to be said that the fight scenes in 6SS seriously outclass ANYTHING seen in Marvel, Dark Horse or DC’s screen projects.    

Fans of the Coen Brothers, David Lynch, Alejandro Jodorowsky and Guillermo del Toro would likely love this film as much as I do. Just as the Continue reading

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ROSEMARY WOZNIAK PRESENTS THE DEEDEE JONROWE MUSH MADNESS PROFILE

DeeDee JonroweBalladeer’s Blog throws it back to my sister Rosemary, Glitternight.com’s Official Iditarod Correspondent for another look at a participant in the 2014 Iditarod Dogsled Race. This time the featured Musher is DeeDee Jonrowe, Official Balladeer’s Blog Nickname: “Juneau” Jonrowe. Now over to Rosemary: 

Today I am going to write about another of my favorites of the veteran women mushers…DeeDee Jonrowe.
According to her official biography on the Iditarod website http://iditarod.com/race/2014/mushers/95-DeeDee-Jonrowe/  , DeeDee Jonrowe, 60, was born in Frankfort Germany while her father was in the military. The family moved to Alaska in 1971.

DeeDee has a B.S. degree in Biological Sciences and Continue reading

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COLLEGE BASKETBALL CONFERENCE TOURNAMENT RESULTS FROM MARCH 4th

college of idaho coyoteCASCADE COLLEGIATE CONFERENCE – The top seeded COLLEGE OF IDAHO COYOTES brought an end to the Cinderella run of the 6th seeded NORTHWEST CHRISTIAN UNIVERSITY BEACONS last night by handing them an 83-59 loss to take the title. * The Coyotes move on to the NAIA Basketball National Tournament as the CCC’s tournament champions as well as the regular season champions. The Beacons, as the conference tournament runners-up, get the CCC’s other bid to the National Tournament. 

Bethel (in) PilotsCROSSROADS LEAGUE – Two Cinderella teams clashed for this conference’s title as the 4th seeded BETHEL COLLEGE (IN) PILOTS (riverboat pilots) won a 70-65 Instant Classic against the 6th seeded GRACE COLLEGE LANCERS. * The Pilots, as the conference tournament champions, advance to the NAIA Basketball National Tournament. The Indiana Wesleyan Wildcats, as the regular season champions, get the Crossroads League’s other bid to the Continue reading

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MUSH MADNESS: ROSEMARY WOZNIAK TAKES A LOOK AT IDITAROD VETERAN ALIY ZIRKLE

Aliy Zirkle

Aliy Zirkle

Regular readers of Balladeer’s Blog are very familiar with my sister Rosemary’s contributions as Glitternight.com’s official Iditarod Correspondent. Rosemary is a sort of good will ambassador for that annual event in Alaska and here she is with her latest piece – a look at female musher Aliy Zirkle: Official Balladeer’s Blog nickname – “Absolute Zero” to match her initials. Take it away, Rosemary!

Here we are in below-freezing temperatures with several inches of snow in Northern Virginia. The mushers participating in the 42nd Iditarod Race which had its Continue reading

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MARDI GRAS MASSACRE (1978)

Mardi Gras MassacreMARDI GRAS MASSACRE (1978) – Category: A neglected Bad Movie classic, but its hard-core gore will prevent it from ever having a Plan 9-sized cult following

It takes a twisted sort of genius to make multiple disembowelment murders look boring, but that’s exactly what Jack Weis accomplishes in Mardi Gras Massacre! Today may be Fat Tuesday, but let’s rechristen it “Splat Tuesday” in honor of this late 70’s splatterfest. 

The actual “massacre” part of this movie is an incredible disappointment. An insane, hate-filled man with a Continue reading

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COLLEGE BASKETBALL: MORE TICKETS PUNCHED TO THE NAIA’s NATIONAL TOURNAMENT AND OTHER SCORES

TABORBluejayBlue-webKANSAS COLLEGIATE ATHLETIC CONFERENCE – The 5th seeded TABOR COLLEGE BLUE JAYS kept churning out the upsets all the way through the conference championship game! The Blue Jays dragged the 2nd seeded STERLING COLLEGE WARRIORS into Overtime where they defeated them by a final score of 97-90! * The Blue Jays, as the tournament champs, move on to the NAIA National Tournament. The FRIENDS UNIVERSITY FALCONS, the regular season champs, get the KCAC’s other bid to the National Tournament.

calmaritimekeelhaulersCALIFORNIA PACIFIC CONFERENCE – The top seeded CAL MARITIME ACADEMY KEELHAULERS trailed the 3 seeds, the SIMPSON UNIVERSITY REDHAWKS, at Halftime by a score of 48-43. The Keelhaulers (how can you not love that name) came out loaded for bear in the Second Half and poured on the offense, staging a comeback win by a final score of Continue reading

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TEN NEGLECTED EXAMPLES OF “ANCIENT” SCIENCE FICTION

Forget the stories written by the usual science fiction pioneers like Jules Verne and H.G. Wells. This list will examine some of the nascent works of science fiction going back to before the world at large even used those words to describe this emerging genre. Though technically this examination could begin as far back as 150 C.E. with the Greek philosopher Lucian’s works like Icaromenippus and True History – both involving journeys to the moon via man-made craft – I will instead begin in the 1600s and move on to the early 20th Century.

Somnium10. SOMNIUM (1634) – Written by Johannes Kepler. Yes, this is THE Johannes Kepler the famed astronomer so this may be the earliest work of proto-science fiction written by a figure with a grounding in something approaching our own notions of rational science (which, of course, excludes Michael “the false Nobel Prize winner” Mann). Somnium depicted a fictional visit to the moon with story details based very loosely on observations Kepler had made while observing Earth’s natural satellite through a telescope – a fairly new device at the time.  

Kepler’s work depicted the moon as a celestial body of extremes which was bisected into two regions of blazing heat and freezing cold. Nights on the moon were very mild on the side facing Earth because of the amount of reflected sunlight that our planet sends its way. Believe it or not life existed in this world of extremes – reptilian creatures which lived in caves and breathed in the lunar atmosphere. Kepler also depicted plant life – cone-shaped vegetation which went through its entire life-cycle within two weeks.

Fearing the type of persecution that Galileo had faced Kepler never published Somnium during his lifetime and even wrote it in Latin accompanied by copious technical footnotes, possibly to try to disguise it as a thesis. Even though Kepler’s story came out posthumously he might have been spared any persecution for his Copernican views even if he had published it earlier since he took the precaution of explaining the lunar journey away as a mere dream (the meaning of the word “somnium”).   

Man in the Moone9. THE MAN IN THE MOONE (1638) – Written by Bishop Francis Godwin. The Man in the Moone depicted Godwin’s fictional hero Domingo Gonsales who trained a huge flock of specially-bred swans to transport him to the moon. The book was written in the style of the accounts that the great nautical explorers of the age wrote of their travels and is often considered the first science fiction story written in English. 

Despite the tale’s thoroughly unscientific method of reaching the moon Gonsales dealt with sensations of weightlessness on his space journey in a nicely prescient bit. Godwin came very close to stating a theory of gravity even before Isaac Newton! In a nod to Dante’s Divine Comedy from centuries earlier the story also featured some of the spirits of deceased humans inhabiting the space between worlds.

Godwin depicted the moon itself as fairly Earth-like and inhabited by a race of Continue reading

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COLLEGE BASKETBALL CONFERENCE TOURNAMENTS: MARCH 1st RESULTS

calmaritimekeelhaulersCALIFORNIA PACIFIC CONFERENCE – The top seeded CAL MARITIME ACADEMY KEELHAULERS delivered a vicious smackdown to the conference’s 4 seeds, the MENLO COLLEGE OAKS, in a 90-69 rout.   ###   And the 3rd seeded SIMPSON UNIVERSITY RED HAWKS took the 2nd seeded WILLIAM JESSUP UNIVERSITY WARRIORS into Overtime before emerging with an 81-80 upset win that aged all the spectators by about five years.  

JAMESTOWNNORTH STAR ATHLETIC ASSOCIATION – The JAMESTOWN COLLEGE JIMMIES, the 1 seeds in the NSAA Tournament, sent the PRESENTATION COLLEGE SAINTS home for the year by defeating them 83-72.   ###   And the 2nd seeded DAKOTA STATE TROJANS kept this league’s tournament all chalk like it has been since Round One on Wednesday by beating the 3rd seeded VALLEY CITY STATE VIKINGS by a score of  Continue reading

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